letter to teacher
eri...@gmail.com
Many years ago, I wrote the following letter to "Mrs. Anderson". The
letter wasn't written to a specific teacher, or about a particular
child, but came from a hope that my sons would be liked by their new
teachers. Since school is starting, I thought you might enjoy it - and
might just want to pass it along.
Dear Mrs. Anderson,
My child Ben has been assigned to your class this year, and I'm glad.
People have often told me what a wonderful teacher you are. You have
had a lot of great things said about you.
You've probably heard about my Ben, too, but I'm afraid the things
said about him aren't always good. The truth is, Ben can be difficult.
He's loud, he makes others uncomfortable, he's different. But I'm his
mother, and I love him.
Of course I'm supposed to love him because I am his mother. But I must
tell you that underneath the ball of energy that brings havoc to a
room, you'll find a beautiful child that is worth getting to know.
He's loving, he's tender, he notices beauty. He's sensitive when
others are hurting, he's offended when he observes injustice. Believe
me, I've seen Ben at his worst, but I've seen him at his best, too.
And he is a wonderful little soul.
So that is why I'm asking you, from the bottom of my heart, please
like my child. Because if you like him, you'll recognize that his
impulsiveness is raw eagerness. You'll see his fidgeting as energy
waiting to be channeled. You'll find ways for him to use his daydreams
creatively.
If you like my child, you'll feel the sting when he is ridiculed by
his peers. You'll shield him from judgmental adults. You'll make his
wrong answers sound right to his classmates. His efforts will be
evident to you, and his successes will feel like your own. And when he
exasperates you beyond your very last nerve, he'll feel your love
underneath your irritation.
There is an old Arabic proverb that says, "A monkey is but a gazelle
in the eyes of his mother." I know that my son is not perfect, but I'd
like for you to try to see past his problems to the gazelle of his
soul.
And again, I ask you from my mother's heart: Please, like my child.
Because if you like him, others will. And if you like him, maybe he'll
never learn not to like himself.
Sincerely,
Ben's Mom
School Colors
Color is a great way to help keep your child organized for school.
Choose one color for each subject - like green (money) for math - and
use that color for the notebook, folder, and book jacket. In the
folder, place a supply of paper for that class, and take a matching
highlighter or marker and make a bold line on the edge of the paper.
If your child neglects to put their paper back into the correct
folder, the colored mark will make it easier for the paper to be found
in the bookbag jumble.
Many elementary school teachers require a certain format for paper
'headings':
Kayla Fay
Spelling
Homework #6
August 27, 2007
If your child has trouble remembering to do this, go ahead and have
her pre-label several pages with name and subject. Then highlight (in
the appropriate color!) the spaces for the date and other information,
reminding him to fill in. Even if a specific heading isn't required,
placing a highlighted mark on the top of blank paper helps remind some
children to write their name. Not that our kids are prone to forget or
anything!
In Between Times
Middle School dismisses 30 minutes after our local elementary school,
so moms that pick up kids from each school have to wait in a 30 minute
line. If you have a similar wait in the car with your kids - whether
it be school, ball practice, music lessons - USE that time to get
homework out of the way. Make a mini school kit with extra pencils, a
portable sharpener, scissors, markers, a small ruler. Place the items
in a plastic pencil box to keep in the car. You can also practice
multiplication facts, work on spelling words, or read with your
child.
Your Letters
I get lots of feedback from newsletters, which I appreciate - and
enjoy - very much. A couple of newsletters ago, I told how Ron had
gone back on medication, and that I had mixed feelings. One reader, an
ADHD mom, sent me the most interesting thought. Like Ron, she is on
medication, which initially made her feel very guilty. She wrote that
she now considers the ADHD medication, "a daily reminder that I can't
do it on my own, I have to leave it to God." Cool thought, which I
immediately passed on to Ron. By the way, Ron says the meds continue
to make a HUGE and important difference for him.
Another reader wrote about her son's heartbreakingly wise comment to
one of his teachers. She had told him to change and be like the other
kids so he could have friends. His wise reply, "If I become like them,
I'll just be a jerk and I'd rather not have friends than be a jerk."
Incidentally, this mom also told me she had seen how children with
poor fashion choices were bullied. (And she watches "What Not To
Wear..." How scary is THAT?!)
A book she recommended: It's So Much Work to Be Your Friend: Helping
the Child with Learning Disabilities Find Social Success.
An Ounce of Ketchup is produced by A. L. Dash & Sons, PO Box 714
Graham, NC 27253