Fwd: Great Zingers

[Thomas Finner]

1. Thomas Reed vs. Henry Clay     2. Winston Churchill vs. Lady Astor     3. NYC Mayor Ed Koch vs. Andrew Kirtzman, after the reporter insisted on pressing a point about an inconsistent statement Koch had made     4. Groucho Marx vs. a contestant on “You Bet Your Life,” after the contestant revealed that he was a father of 10     5. Abraham Lincoln vs. Stephen Douglas, after  Douglas called him “two-faced” during a debate     6. Pierre Trudeau vs. Richard Nixon, upon hearing that Nixon had called him an asshole       8. Oscar Wilde vs. Lewis Morris… Morris had just been passed over for the Poet Laureateship     9. Miriam Hopkins vs. an anonymous singer     10. James McNeill Whistler vs. Oscar Wilde, after Whistler had made a particularly witty observation       11. Senator Fritz Hollings vs. Henry McMastor, when challenged by his Republican opponent during a televised debate to take a drug test       12. Bill Clinton vs. Dan Quayle, after Quayle revealed that he planned to be “a pit bull” in the 1992 campaign against Clinton and Gore       13. Reverend Edward Everett Hale vs. the U.S. Senate, when asked if he prayed for the Senators.     14. Edna Ferber vs. Noel Coward… Coward was remarking upon the fact that Ferber was wearing a tailored suit     15. Henry Clay vs. Massachusetts Senator Daniel Webster after seeing a pack of mules walk by       16. Winston Churchill vs. a Member of Parliament       17. Calvin Coolidge vs. some random lady at a White House dinner     18. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart vs. an admirer