Online Activity #3: The Introduction

[Andrew Burton]

*** Your Writing ***

For an essay on Budzko’s “How to Set a House on Fire” (the text is
posted on Omnivox), write an attention-getter for an introduction
using your theme from Online Activity #2: The Body Paragraph. See the
Introduction Structure Handout posted on Omnivox for an example of an
attention-getter. Please be respectful of your classmates – do not
post anything that is offensive or insensitive. Ask yourself if your
attention-getter includes the following elements and meets the
following criteria:

- 1-2 sentences
- Uses one of the following strategies
- Explains the subject’s importance
- States something startling/interesting
- Raises a provocative question
- Challenges an opinion
- Tells an anecdote/story
- Avoids bland generalizations

Your attention-getter must be posted by midnight Sunday September
25th.

*** Your Feedback ***

Each student must offer critical feedback to at least two other
students regarding their attention-getters. Describe the strategy you
feel a student has used and explain whether or not you feel it would
successfully capture a reader’s attention. In your feedback, please
make specific reference to a student’s writing to illustrate your
points instead of just offering vague general comments. Make sure
every student has received feedback from at least two students before
offering any student a third round of feedback. Be courteous and keep
your comments focused on students’ writing.

All comments regarding other students' paragraphs must be posted by
midnight Tuesday September 27th.

[William Shakespeare]

Theme
Farming results in financial failure

Attention-Getter
Farming is just like playing blackjack: both can leave you penniless.

[Andrew Burton]

Hey Willie,

I’d say you’re strategy is to offer a startling statement, since no
one expects to hear farming compared to a card game. Precisely
because the comparison is startling and because you state it so
quickly (i.e. in six words), I find your attention-getter really
effective.

Keep it real,

Mr. Burton

On Sep 23, 7:21 am, William Shakespeare <andrewelbur...@hotmail.com>
wrote:

[Karina Hirian]

Indifference, is this just a fancy word for destruction and danger?

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Karinne Legare]

Theme: Financial upheavals can often influence and force one to become
demented and psychotic.

Attention - Getter

Financial crisis can lead people to act irrationally and towards a
dark whole.
(which can make them loose their common sense and possibly want to
burn down a house)

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Lian Ma]

theme:
farming is no longer a profitable business.

Attention-getter:
If only chicken could lay golden eggs.

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Melody Jia Yue Wang]

Theme: Madness guides to extremist determination

Attention getter:

Have you ever wonder what make some people extremist? Is it caused by
madness, determination or both?

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Melody Jia Yue Wang]

Hi Lian,

I absolutly love your attention getter. It is really attractive,
simple and short (shorter is better). You have made a wonderful
comparison between your theme and the well know fairytale of golden
egg. The link is really clear and relative to your theme of financial
problem of farmers.

Keep going.

> > midnight Tuesday September 27th.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

[Melody Jia Yue Wang]

Hi Karinne,

I like the way you explain your theme in the attention getter. The
example is relevant to the novel. The metaphore of the dark whole is
interesting. I guess it would be better if it was shorter and more
simple but it is good in general. It could be better if you used one
of Mr.Burton's attention getter advices, other than that, everything
else is perfect.

Keep going.

[John Khoury]

Theme: People do crazy things when their angry

Attention Getter:
Drunk people do drunk things, crazy people do crazy things, what do
normal people do?

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Olivier Mariani]

Theme : How anger and desperation could drive someone into extrem
acts.

Attention-Getter

Who is the worst? The banker that destroys a life or the man who burns
his house?

[Olivier Mariani]

Hi Lian,

I relly like your attention-getter! It is short, as you know shorter
is better and it is really original.
Good job!

> > midnight Tuesday September 27th.- Masquer le texte des messages précédents -
>
> - Afficher le texte des messages précédents -

[Olivier Mariani]

Hi Melody,

I like your attention-getter. It is well linked with your theme. Also
it is original which is good.
Good job.

On 24 sep, 13:03, Melody Jia Yue Wang <melodyjiayuew...@gmail.com>
wrote:

[Jackson Chan]

Theme: Money drives people mad
Attention-getter: Money is a demon who seduces people to become
insane.

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Shiyan Du]

Theme
People's inability drive them to madness

Attention-Getter
What will people meet at low tide? An apparent calmness or a future
wave of madness?

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Julia Ros-Larocque]

Theme: Bankruptcy makes one possessive..

Attention getter:
Setting your own house on fire is okay.

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Julia Ros-Larocque]

You definetly raised a provocative question. I would definetively read
the rest of your paper. But I think you also could have formulated in
this way: Who is worst: the banker that destroys a life or ... ?

On Sep 25, 12:17 pm, Olivier Mariani <oliviermari...@hotmail.com>
wrote:

[Julia Ros-Larocque]

It is a provacative question indeed, I like that you really shows two
opposite, but because you do so you could probably put all of them in
one question: " What will people meet at low tide: An apparent
calmness or a futre wave of madness?

[Sheng Hao Liu]

Theme:
Farming might lead to poverty

Attention-getter:
The wheel of fortune has bankrupt wedges only this time.

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Sheng Hao Liu]

Hi Julia,

Your attention-getter is very provocative. Your strategy to use a
startling statement works wonders. It goes without saying that most
people think that setting a house on fire is not okay. It shows that
the story will talk about someone insane depending on their
interpretation. The attention-getter is also very short, which makes
it effective.

On Sep 25, 1:22 pm, Julia Ros-Larocque <juliaroslaroc...@gmail.com>
wrote:

[Sheng Hao Liu]

Hi Karina,

Your theme in the last assignment was: "indifference towards a serious
matter can drive someone into doing unethical acts deliberately." I
think that your attention-getter is to raise a provocative question.
Even though the definition of indifference can be found in the
dictionary, you deliberately changed it's meaning to conform with the
short story. I think it can capture a reader's attention because it's
relevant to the story and also pretty startling.

[samir ajam]

Theme:
Farming leads to money problems.
Attention-Getter
Farming is like going to the casino, you might start with a lot of
money but at the end only little will remain. As an unknown author
said: “You can make a small fortune in farming - provided you start
with a large one”
Source: http://thinkexist.com/quotation/you_can_make_a_small_fortune_in_farming-provided/171306.html

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Salmon Nessa]

Theme: Inheritance can make one possessive.

Attention grabber:
Can inheritance make one possessive?

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Vladimir Turturica]

Theme
Money leads to madness

Attention-Getter
When money speaks, the truth keeps burning.

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Stephanie Carbonneau]

Theme: Desperation can lead us to do crazy things

Attention getter: Most demented actions often have very sane motives.

[Xin Tong Zhao]

Theme: Abandonment of memories is desperate and helpless.
Attention-Getter :
When people leave this world, the only thing they can bring with them
is their own memory.

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:

[Xu Yan]

theme : poverty could make people destroy what they possess

attention getter
if you are poor will you destroy what you possess?

[Jia Yue You]

Theme
Possessiveness leads one to do extreme actions.

Attention-Getter
There is a knife in your heart; one that controls and destroys.

[Zeshi Zhong]

Theme
Nostalgia can lead to madness.

Attention getter
No one cherish their memories. We burn them down.

[Louis-Martin Jussaume]

Do young age memories can track a man and drive him crazy?

Theme: Bad childhood follow adults through all their life

[Zeshi Zhong]

Yo Jia!
Wow awesome attention getter! When i read it, i found it powerful and
intriguing. I really like it. I'm curious to see how you're going to
relate it to your theme, because the link is not obvious. However it
is possible, and it can be done in a very interesting way i trust you
can painlessly invent. :D

On 25 sep, 20:44, Jia Yue You <greenpearlmermaid_l...@hotmail.com>
wrote:

[Zeshi Zhong]

Hey Jackson,
Your attention getter is very clear. I think that you tried to say
something interesting and you made your goal. Not only being concise,
but your sentence has a deep meaning reflected by the metaphor of the
demon. It may symbolize the temptation of greed, or the arrogance of
the rich. I like it.

[Sasha Bordonaro]

theme: personal life failures can lead us to giving up.

question:

If you had a time machine, would you do things differently?

[Hai Qi Liang]

Theme
desperation can drive someone insane Attention-Getter
What you know about desperation driving people crazy? 

[Calvin Chin]

Theme:
Foreclosure leads to burning houses

Attention-Getter
Does foreclosure create arsonists out of us?

[Calvin Chin]

Hi Sheng

First thought, your attention-getter is hilarious. I have to say your
attention-getter is very interesting because it's a contradiction in
itself. "The wheel of fortune" is supposed to win you money but you
switched it around to "bankrupt wedges." The whole new meaning is
you'll have a variety of bankruptcy no matter how you spin. Your
attention-getter respects your theme because in reality farming has a
chance of bankruptcy, a bad farming season can lead to poverty.

Good job!

[Calvin Chin]

Hi Zeshi

Your attention-getter is very bold just because of the way it's
written. It makes me think "what the hell?" at first thought. Your
attention-getter states something startling and it will grab the
readers' attention. It makes me wonder what you're trying to get at,
bottom line gets me curious. It makes me want to demand an explanation
from you. Great attention-getter.

Good job!

[Vincent Ko]

Theme: A burden brings an abandonment

Attention-Getter: More gain, more pain. Is this logical?

[yuan kun li]

Theme: urbanisation has a large influence on farmers.

Attention-getter: Urbanisation is a kind of revolution, you never know
if your life will be better or worse.

On 9月23日, 上午7时20分, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:
> *** Your Writing ***
>
> For an essay on Budzko's "How to Set a House on Fire" (the text is
> posted on Omnivox), write an attention-getter for an introduction
> using your theme from Online Activity #2: The Body Paragraph. See the
> Introduction Structure Handout posted on Omnivox for an example of an

> attention-getter. Please be respectful of your classmates - do not

[Jing-Lun Xu]

Theme
Desperation brings nostalgic memories

Attention-Getter
If you are trapped on a desert island, would you be joyful?

[Laurent Lao]

Theme: Industrialism leads to foreclosure.

Up in flames your house goes, as industrialism comes down your way.

On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:
> *** Your Writing ***
>
> For an essay on Budzko’s “How to Set a House on Fire” (the text is
> posted on Omnivox), write an attention-getter for an introduction
> using your theme from Online Activity #2: The Body Paragraph.  See the
> Introduction Structure Handout posted on Omnivox for an example of an

> attention-getter.  Please be respectful of your classmates – do not

[Laurent Lao]

If your strategy was to state something startling and interesting, you
have successfully done so. I like your attention getter... because it
works!
I'd like to see how you will integrate your attention getter to the
rest, but that's not part of the activity (yet!).

On Sep 25, 8:44 pm, Jia Yue You <greenpearlmermaid_l...@hotmail.com>
wrote:

[Laurent Lao]

This is an interesting Attention-getter, it does its job very well!
I believe the strategy used is to state something interesting/
startling.
However, I would've worded differently.
Since you are using the third person "No one" and "their" I would not
use "we" but "they"!

[Jia Yue You]

Hey Xin Tong,

I believe your strategy is "States something startling/interesting."
Indeed, I find your attention-getter very interesting. It captures the
reader's attention since it mentions a subject that's in a way
important to everyone: death. Personally, I don't really agree with
you about the bringing memory to the other world part. However, that
also provoke interest, which makes it better.

Good Job, keep it going.

Jia

[Jia Yue You]

Hey Xin Tong,

I believe your strategy is "States something startling/interesting."
Indeed, I find your attention-getter very interesting. It captures the
reader's attention since it mentions a subject that's in a way
important to everyone: death. Personally, I don't really agree with
you about the bringing memory to the other world part. However, that
also provoke interest, which makes it better.

Good Job, keep it going.

Jia


On Sep 25, 7:16 pm, Xin Tong Zhao <zx...@msn.com> wrote:

[Jia Yue You]

Hey Sasha,

I believe you just raised a provocative question and, in the same
time, stated something startling/interesting. This question really
captures my attention. It probably happen to all of us at one point in
our life to really want to go back in time and fix things up. The idea
of time machine is really intriguing. You also asked if we would do
things differently if we had one and that leaves a heavy mark in my
mind. I'll probably be still thinking about it tomorrow morning. The
connection of your attention getter and your theme is not very
obvious, so I can't wait to see your introduction paragraph!

Good job and keep it going

Jia

[Lian Ma]

hi Vladimir,

i really like your attention getter. its short and to the point. I
think the reference you made with the "burning truth" is brilliant and
it is kind of a foreshowing of the the burning barn. all in all this
definitely caught my attention and left me wanting more.

[Louis-Martin Jussaume]

Hi Jing-Lun
I like your question. Really interesting, I have no clue of what your
essay would talk about. I would definitely read your it just by
curiosity. You're attention-getter works for me; However, I like to
know how you would link it with your theme and subject....

[Lian Ma]

Hey sasha,

i think that your attention getter is great. Your question really
makes the reader think, and reflect about... life! i think that it
really has a deeper meaning once you read the story, i can see where
you are trying to get at. Its short and concise. great job!

On Sep 25, 9:14 pm, Sasha Bordonaro <sashabordon...@gmail.com> wrote:

[samir ajam]

Hi Olivier,
In your attention-getter you used the strategy of raising a
provocative question. I would definitely continue to read the rest of
the paragraph, but I also think there can be improvements on your
attention-getter. You don’t need to put a question mark at: “Who is
the worst?” and you can add to your two opinions. Such as including
how the banker destroyed a life (suggestion can be financial troubles)
and why is the man burning his house down (suggestion because of
anger).


On Sep 25, 12:17 pm, Olivier Mariani <oliviermari...@hotmail.com>
wrote:
> Theme : How anger and desperation could drive someone into extrem
> acts.
>
> Attention-Getter
>
> Who is the worst? The banker that destroys a life or the man who burns
> his house?

[samir ajam]

Hi Julia,
The attention-getter you have written is very interesting, I’m not
very sure which strategy you have used, it seems that there can be a
mix. The sentence states something startling/interesting, and the
sentence can possibly challenge an opinion. To most people setting a
house on fire is not okay, so when the reader reads this sentence it
creates a will to continue reading because it’s a very interesting
sentence. This sentence is also short which is very good.


On Sep 25, 1:22 pm, Julia Ros-Larocque <juliaroslaroc...@gmail.com>
wrote:
> Theme: Bankruptcy makes one possessive..
>
> Attention getter:
> Setting your own house on fire is okay.

[Vincent Ko]

Your attention getter is simple and nice. The question grabs my
attention and it will probably be provocative of readers' curiosities.
However, it is not fully interesting. But I think it depends on how
you relate the attention getter to the theme.

On Sep 25, 7:54 pm, Xu Yan <yanx...@gmail.com> wrote:
> theme :  poverty could make people destroy what they possess
>
> attention getter
> if you are poor will you destroy what you possess?

> > midnight Tuesday September 27th.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

[John Khoury]

I really like how you try to explain your theme in your attention
getter. I think that your attention getter is quite interesting.
Although try not to write too much cause think those brackets are
unnecessary. Besides that it really good.

On Sep 23, 9:01 pm, Karinne Legare <xo.kari...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Theme: Financial upheavals can often influence and force one to become
> demented and psychotic.
>
> Attention - Getter
>
> Financial crisis can lead people to act irrationally and towards a
> dark whole.
> (which can make them loose their common sense and possibly want to
> burn down a house)

[John Khoury]

Hi Jackson,
I like your attention getter. I think that it grabs the attention of
the reader. Its short sweet and to the point which is perfect. Good
work. The reader can relate to this cause money can change people in
many ways

On Sep 25, 12:39 pm, Jackson Chan <jackson...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Theme: Money drives people mad
> Attention-getter: Money is a demon who seduces people to become
> insane.
>

[Shiyan Du]

It is correct. The attention getter is clear enough and short,The
question shows a contrary since poverty represents shortage of
possession. This might be able to attract readers.

On Sep 25, 7:54 pm, Xu Yan <yanx...@gmail.com> wrote:
> theme :  poverty could make people destroy what they possess
>
> attention getter
> if you are poor will you destroy what you possess?
>

[Shiyan Du]

In addition of giving rise to an appetite of reading, this attention-
getter presents the memory as subject by an efficacious way. The
strategy is to offer a startling statement since the emphasis of
memory by considering it as "the only thing" that people can bring
with them when they leave the world can easily draw reader's
attention. This attention-getter is effective

On Sep 25, 7:16 pm, Xin Tong Zhao <zx...@msn.com> wrote:
> Theme: Abandonment of memories is desperate and helpless.
> Attention-Getter :
> When people leave this world, the only thing they can bring with them
> is their own memory.
>

[Vladimir Turturica]

Hey,
I believe that your attention getter is very short and smart. Also,
the theme that it's getting into is relevant to the story. However, I
think it's a bit too easy as an attention-getter and it needs a little
more "punch". Still,good job!
Vlad :)

On Sep 25, 7:02 pm, Stephanie Carbonneau
<stephecarbonn...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Theme: Desperation can lead us to do crazy things
>
> Attention getter: Most demented actions often have very sane motives.

[Salmon Nessa]

Hey Yuan,

Your attention grabber seems really well done to me. It grabbed my
attention because it made me think and I wanted to read more just to
know if my thoughts will match your texts content. I think that you
are challenging an opinion as for your strategy to grab attention.
Very well done.

[Vladimir Turturica]

Hey Shiyan,
Your attention-getter is indeed very provocative and might get you the
interest of future readers. Furthermore, I really like the
interogative way that you approached the subject. With strong words
and intresting points, your attention-getter really succeeds.
Nice job!

On Sep 25, 12:51 pm, Shiyan Du <sya...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Theme
> People's inability drive them to madness
>
> Attention-Getter
> What will people meet at low tide? An apparent calmness or a future
> wave of madness?

>
> On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > *** Your Writing ***
>
> > For an essay on Budzko’s “How to Set a House on Fire” (the text is
> > posted on Omnivox), write an attention-getter for an introduction
> > using your theme from Online Activity #2: The Body Paragraph.  See the
> > Introduction Structure Handout posted on Omnivox for an example of an

> > attention-getter.  Please be respectful of your classmates – do not

[Stephanie Carbonneau]

Omg that was like, the best attention getter i have ever read ! Youre
the best. It's very relevant to the theme and I would totally read
your text if it starts with that. Very good job
Steph :)

[Stephanie Carbonneau]

I like your attention getter, it's strainght to the point and very
relevant to the theme you choose. However, it's a little too close to
the theme, i think you could've went a little further with your idea.

[Salmon Nessa]

Hey Louis-Martin,

Your grabber seems interesting, I think the strategy you used is
stating something startling/ interesting. I would definitely read your
text to know if what you are stating in your attention grabber is
true.It is simple, therefore easier to understand , it relates well
with your theme. I think you have a really good grabber.

On Sep 25, 9:01 pm, Louis-Martin Jussaume
<louismartin.jussa...@gmail.com> wrote:
>  Do young age memories can track a man and drive him crazy?
>
> Theme: Bad childhood follow adults through all their life

[Xin Tong Zhao]

I like your attention-gatter, it is very attractive.iYou raised a
provocative question in your attention-gatter, it makes people think a
lot about your theme.

On Sep 25, 9:17 pm, Hai Qi Liang <haiqi2...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Theme
> desperation can drive someone insane Attention-Getter
> What you know about desperation driving people crazy? 

[Xin Tong Zhao]

Hi Calvin,

Your attention-gatter seems very interesting to me, you states
something startling in your attention gatter and it grabs my attention
immediately. People would wonder what is the link between foreclosure
and arsonists, so I think your attention-gatter is very successfull.

On Sep 25, 9:54 pm, Calvin Chin <nivlacn...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Theme:
> Foreclosure leads to burning houses
>
> Attention-Getter
> Does foreclosure create arsonists out of us?

[Hai Qi Liang]

Hey Jing-Lun

I like your attention-getter, it is a very interesting question. I
would definitely read more since i have no idea what you mean by if
the reader would be joyful if he was trapped in a deserted island
exactly.

On Sep 25, 11:00 pm, Jing-Lun Xu <x.j.l....@hotmail.com> wrote:

[Hai Qi Liang]

hey Vincent,

I like your attention getter, it asks the reader a good question to
think of. The fact that you added 'is this logical' after the original
quote makes it even more interesting since it puts the reader in the
doubts. I would definitely continue reading after your attention
getter.

On Sep 25, 10:16 pm, Vincent Ko <ksh4...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Theme: A burden brings an abandonment
>
> Attention-Getter: More gain, more pain. Is this logical?

[Sasha Bordonaro]

hey John,
i like your attention getter because it made me think, what do normal
people really do. i really the question because right before the
reader reads your essay they will ask them self a question and then
read your essay and analyze the character. Great job:)

On Sep 25, 12:05 pm, John Khoury <italiene_...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Theme: People do crazy things when their angry
>
> Attention Getter:
> Drunk people do drunk things, crazy people do crazy things, what do
> normal people do?

[Sasha Bordonaro]

hey Xin Tong Zhao,
i believe your attention gettter, dose not really related to the text,
what i believe you should have added is a little relation to the
story. yet i like that your quote makes me think. it makes your brain
work and i believe i would analyze your text more now, because of it.

On Sep 25, 7:16 pm, Xin Tong Zhao <zx...@msn.com> wrote:
> Theme: Abandonment of memories is desperate and helpless.
> Attention-Getter :
> When people leave this world, the only thing they can bring with them
> is their own memory.
>

[Vincent Ko]

Hi Yuan Kun

Your attention getter is very interesting. It makes me think a lot
about the urbanization. I really like your sentence. I would certainly
read your text. Everyone would.

On Sep 25, 10:46 pm, yuan kun li <liyuankun7357...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Theme: urbanisation has a large influence on farmers.
>
> Attention-getter: Urbanisation is a kind of revolution, you never know
> if your life will be better or worse.
>

> On 9月23日, 上午7时20分, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > *** Your Writing ***
>
> > For an essay on Budzko's "How to Set a House on Fire" (the text is
> > posted on Omnivox), write an attention-getter for an introduction
> > using your theme from Online Activity #2: The Body Paragraph. See the
> > Introduction Structure Handout posted on Omnivox for an example of an

> > attention-getter. Please be respectful of your classmates - do not

[Louis-Martin Jussaume]

Hey Samir,
I like the way you compare casino and farming, really interesting.
Then you state a nice proverb, pretty sure it's one! You wrote
something different, original. It's maybe a bit long though...I would
personally choose wether the comparison or the proverb. I find it more
effective when it's shorter!

On Sep 25, 4:56 pm, samir ajam <ajamsa...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Theme:
> Farming leads to money problems.
> Attention-Getter
> Farming is like going to the casino, you might start with a lot of
> money but at the end only little will remain.  As an unknown author
> said: “You can make a small fortune in farming - provided you start
> with a large one”
> Source:http://thinkexist.com/quotation/you_can_make_a_small_fortune_in_farmi...

>
> On Sep 23, 7:20 am, Andrew Burton <a.bur...@marianopolis.edu> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > *** Your Writing ***
>
> > For an essay on Budzko’s “How to Set a House on Fire” (the text is
> > posted on Omnivox), write an attention-getter for an introduction
> > using your theme from Online Activity #2: The Body Paragraph.  See the
> > Introduction Structure Handout posted on Omnivox for an example of an

> > attention-getter.  Please be respectful of your classmates – do not

[Jing-Lun Xu]

Hey Louis-Martin
I find your attention-getter really attractive,your strategy is to
offer a startling statement, since no
one expects to hear childhood memories tracking down a man. In
addition, you stated your attention getter very directly and it is
closely related to your theme
Good job!
Jing Lun

[Jing-Lun Xu]

Hai Qi:

I find your attention getter really interesting. Your strategy is to
raise a provocative question to the reader. No one would expect to be
asked on what they know about desperation. Also, your attention getter
is really direct which makes it really affective.
Good job!

Jing Lun

[Karina Hirian]

For those who do my feedback, I forgot to put in the theme:
Indifference towards a serious
matter can drive someone into doing unethical acts deliberately.

On Sep 23, 8:48 pm, Karina Hirian <karr...@msn.com> wrote:
> Indifference, is this just a fancy word for destruction and danger?

[Jackson Chan]

nice attention getter! I really like your strategy: posting a
rhetorical question. Moreover, you have use the word arsonist to
attract the audience. Good job!

[Jackson Chan]

The way how you write your attention getter is awesome. After reading
this sentence, I really want to keep reading your text. Moreover, you
ask an rhetorical question to attract people. No one will be able to
say no as the answer. Great one!!!

On Sep 25, 10:16 pm, Vincent Ko <ksh4...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Theme: A burden brings an abandonment
>
> Attention-Getter: More gain, more pain. Is this logical?
>

[Karinne Legare]

Hey john!

Quite interesting attention grabber.
I like the direction you took it to ; straight forward and right to
point, literary!
It would definitively make me curious to see what the story holds

On Sep 25, 12:05 pm, John Khoury <italiene_...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Theme: People do crazy things when their angry
>
> Attention Getter:
> Drunk people do drunk things, crazy people do crazy things, what do
> normal people do?
>

[Karinne Legare]

Hi Vincent,
I find your attention getter very interesting and relevant to the
text.
A ''short and sweet'' and straight forward approach!
I like the rhyme in there -no gain no pain- a great saying!
good job!

On Sep 25, 10:16 pm, Vincent Ko <ksh4...@gmail.com> wrote:
> Theme: A burden brings an abandonment
>
> Attention-Getter: More gain, more pain. Is this logical?
>