The fundamentals of the story are told well. The shot are appropriate,
and communicate the story. Its strong enough that the art of it can be
over looked. There is nothing offensive to the eye about the artwork
its just not strong. The story is the most important element, its why
people are watching.
The best thing to improve would be to continue to produce more work,
and frequently. Push yourself with each project and the artwork will
improve. This is a great start.