Spider bite on penis, I don't have insurance
Larry Mims
I need some help, I believe. I went outside last night and was
urinating off my deck, I live in a rural area of Georgia. Some kind of
spider on the deck bit my penis. It was red around the bite and itching
like crazy last night, but I thought, no big deal, you know, it will go
away.
It hasn't went away and is getting worse. It is as if the skin is just
dissolving and it looks blue around the bite, and hurting pretty bad. I
am drinking Beam to try to kill the pain, even that is not doing much
good now. I don't have insurance and don't make enough money for an
emergency room to see me, besides, I am white and they don't see our
kind without insurance or money.
Almost my whole penis is now covered with the inflammation and
discoloration, only the area right around the bite is getting blue and
gooey looking, almost like something just melting.
Does anyone know of anything I could do or apply to it, some kind of
ointment or something? I am looking for any kind of suggestions, I
don't know what to do.
Thanks,
Larry
Freddie
"Larry Mims" <mi...@aol.com> wrote in message news:fj32ol$vcr$1...@aioe.org...
Last time that happened to me, I just sucked the poison out!
Now I'm looking for another spider.....
]v[etaphoid
Hi Larry,
Thanks for your most informative query; you may be surprised to hear it is a
surprisingly common one. In fact, seven out of every ten penis spider bite
victims have no or insufficient insurance to cover medical attention. Let
this be a lesson to us all for the next time our insurance salesmen enquire
of the cover we seek...
To cure a spider bite to the penis, the only sure-fire fix according to
accepted medical advice and journals, is, to quote a well-known euphemism,
"hair of the dog". Put simply, you need to indulge in another dose of the
original ailment, in this case, spider bite. It works almost in the reverse
way of traditional inoculations, where the body's resistance to the toxin
essentially becomes it's defence mechanism.
In your case, by receiving a second bite, preferably from the same spider,
your penis's immune system will essentially implode, taking the offending
carcinogens with it. Of course, there is a small chance that the resulting
spider bite fuelled penis immune system implosion could take out a
testicle - heaven knows Steven Campbell lost a nut the same way - but I'm
sure you'd agree it's a small price to pay for keeping your mootstick.
Please keep us advised of your recovery...
All the best,
]v[etaphoid
Larry Mims
> Hi Larry,
>
> Thanks for your most informative query; you may be surprised to hear it is a
> surprisingly common one. In fact, seven out of every ten penis spider bite
> victims have no or insufficient insurance to cover medical attention. Let
> this be a lesson to us all for the next time our insurance salesmen enquire
> of the cover we seek...
>
> To cure a spider bite to the penis, the only sure-fire fix according to
> accepted medical advice and journals, is, to quote a well-known euphemism,
> "hair of the dog". Put simply, you need to indulge in another dose of the
> original ailment, in this case, spider bite. It works almost in the reverse
> way of traditional inoculations, where the body's resistance to the toxin
> essentially becomes it's defence mechanism.
>
> In your case, by receiving a second bite, preferably from the same spider,
> your penis's immune system will essentially implode, taking the offending
> carcinogens with it. Of course, there is a small chance that the resulting
> spider bite fuelled penis immune system implosion could take out a
> testicle - heaven knows Steven Campbell lost a nut the same way - but I'm
> sure you'd agree it's a small price to pay for keeping your mootstick.
>
> Please keep us advised of your recovery...
Yeah, that is really funny. Thanks for all the helpful suggestions.
Currently, I have some gauze wrapped around it but I am afraid to take
it off because I think skin is coming off with it, and it's bleeding.
Look, I am being serious here. Does anyone know what I could try to
heal this somehow?
Rhonda Lea Kirk
If this really isn't a troll, you're going to lose your dick if you
don't go to the hospital.
Unfortunately for you, you accelerated the symptoms for your post--you
should've dragged it out for a day or two, which indicates you didn't do
enough research before trolling.
Better luck next time.
P.S. Is that you, Altie?
P.P.S. I have a friend who had one on his upper thigh. The resulting two
holes were big enough to fit my fist in.
--
Rhonda Lea Kirk
ni...@databasix.com
Some are tempted to think of life in cyberspace as insignificant,
as escape or meaningless diversion. It is not. Our experiences there
are serious play. We belittle them at our risk. Sherry Turkle
mixin
"Freddie" <fre...@ntlword.com> wrote in message
news:dl85j.857$bC3...@newsfe1-win.ntli.net...
yeh, like, don't you have a male or female partner willing to give ya a bj
or sumpin?
even ya dawg? the duttyy critters love to sniff around thur ...
Penn...@derrymaine.gov
>It hasn't went away and is getting worse. It is as if the skin is just
>dissolving and it looks blue around the bite, and hurting pretty bad. I
>am drinking Beam to try to kill the pain, even that is not doing much
>good now. I don't have insurance and don't make enough money for an
>emergency room to see me, besides, I am white and they don't see our
>kind without insurance or money.
You stick the head in the freezer :)
From a better spider bite post http://tinyurl.com/39jcwa
Rôgêr
If this is a "for real" post, you may seriously need antivenom. Sorry
about the insurance situation, I can sympathize. But if your pecker is
worth anything at all too you, you should go get treatment and worry
about the money later. You can probably find some help from some
community services.
MWG
But, from the description of the symptoms, it sounds like a brown
recluse (or fiddleback, as my dad calls them) bite. I don't think
there is an antivennom for that spiders venom. Just a heavy treatment
of antibiotics and disinfectants to keep any infection down.
olfart
"MWG" <mwg...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:8a4aa45d-4da2-492e...@i12g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
or Amputation (:>)
Kraftee
If nothing else it'll teach him not to put his meat on the decking....
MWG
Anyone got Lorena Bobbitt's number handy? Another solution to the
problem might include gasoline and a match... Scorched earth is
always fun.
doS
"Larry Mims" <mi...@aol.com> wrote in message news:fj32ol$vcr$1...@aioe.org...
doS
"Rôgêr" <ab...@your.isp.com> wrote in message
news:Z9ednXqK6qSSAsja...@pghconnect.com...
elaich
news:Z9ednXqK6qSSAsja...@pghconnect.com:
> If this is a "for real" post, you may seriously need antivenom. Sorry
> about the insurance situation, I can sympathize. But if your pecker is
> worth anything at all too you, you should go get treatment and worry
> about the money later. You can probably find some help from some
> community services.
Pay no attention. It's some kind of lame troll attempt. I can't even figure
the reason: longing for attention? Sympathy? A few months ago, it was some
guy who had cut his with a machete somehow, and was ashamed to go to the
hospital, and it wouldn't stop bleeding, etc.... Might even be the same
guy.
Here's a true one. A guy in Malaysia got out on the side of the road to
take a whiz, and his got struck by lightning. The lightning struck a nearby
tree, deflected onto the ground, and was attracted to his lightning rod by
the stream of fluid. The article said he was healing nicely, and might
actually regain full function someday.
Rhonda Lea Kirk
>> P.S. Is that you, Altie?
>> P.P.S. I have a friend who had one on his upper thigh. The resulting
>> two holes were big enough to fit my fist in.
>
> Thanks for the tip, Rhonda, good friend. I didn't play that one
> right, did I?
Perhaps not, but you caught a few anyway (and some of the other replies
were worthy), so it's not a total loss.
Bucky Breeder
Hmm, he'll either NEVER urinate there again, or
he'll be back there EVERY day to urinate,
but alas, it's never as good as the first time...
Damn the reinforcement cycle : another 12-step
program in its infancy. ("Hi, my name is Loo Chin,
and I'm powerless over lightning...")
--
Half a million battered women in the USA today...
and I still eat mine plain!
Best wishes to you and yours for a safe and joyous holiday season!
dr.gree...@gmail.com
§nühw¤£f
<nods>
--
http://www.wolfandwildlifestudies.com/index.php
www.friendsofanimals.org |www.snuhwolf.9f.com|
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