#128: Yearbook Similes

[Mr. Neary]

(Refer to class handout for the full, unedited version of this assignment.)

 

Assume you are writing a yearbook message to a friend, but this time around you are going to step up your game.  Instead of whipping out the "don't ever change" or the tried-and-truly dishonest "let's hang out this summer," you'll put your poetic prowess to work.  Basically, you will use a simile to describe this friend of yours.  As part of the message, you will spell out the simile, elaborating on the common traits. 

 

So, for instance, I might write: "Dorothy, you are like a stapler.  When I am given to whims and appear flighty, you step in and keep me grounded and in place.  But you're more than the proverbial paper weight, for at other times your sharp words keep me tied down. Furthermore, I feel like we are connected, brought together for a reason, primarily because we are so alike.  Lastly, you never tire of me.  Even when I think you are about to run out of energy or out of patience, you reload and come back as good as new."

 

Due: Friday, April 27

 

[Alexa Lee]

"Joe-schmo, you are like a glass of water.  When I am weary from the desert of life, you refresh me with your humor and kindness.  But you're more than just a glass of water.  Dude, you're ice-cold.  When I am faced with a fatal scorpion bite, you don't tell me "oh, it's okay Alexa, you're gonna live!" No, you tell me the plain truth, "Alexa, you are going to die" as ice-cold as it may be.  You're also ice-cold because when I'm fiery hot with anger you cool me down, you extinguish my flames. Despite it taking days to extinguish my inferno with one single glass of water, you continue to come back for me - in this you are like an everlasting river.  You keep me healthy, happy, and sane. If I didn't have you Joe-schmo in this desert I might begin to have delusions about talking camels leading me to a lush green oasis with a crystal spring and shady palm trees.  Oh Joe-schmo, just like I need water for my body to function, I need you for my brain to function - you're my best friend Joey-schmoey - sniffle, sniffle, I'll never let go Joe! NEVER."  

Unlike Rose from the Titanic, Alexa doesn't let go.  Joe-schmo and Alexa stay friends forever.  However the parasitic relationship is too much for Joe to bear.  Alexa drains out all of Joe's energy.  Joe dies.  Alexa dies.  The end.  

[Alexa Lee]

Sorry scorpions don't bite - they sting...

[Alex Freedman]

May, you are like glue. You keep our group together, through thick and
thin. When added into the mix, you always make it better, and help us
all to work together cohesively. You may seem plain and dull on the
outside, but on the inside you are so much more. You are made up of
different qualities such as hard working, dedicated, consistent, and
adjustable. If it weren't for you, I'm sure I would've fallen apart.
You are always there when I need you, and are easy to get in contact
with. You make friends easily, and stay friends with them as long as
you are attached to them! Have a great summer glue..I mean you!

[Colin Castro]

Stanley, you are like Mondays. Whenever, I know I'm about to see you,
a sad wave of dread overcomes me. Every time we talk our discussions
are long, slow and uninteresting. But you're more to my life than a
weekly impending sense of doom, you also provide me with a feeling of
being overwhelmed with your great aspirations and confusing lessons.
Now, this may be unfair to you Stanley, because sometimes I don't
approach our relationship and conversations with any sense of
enthusiasm. It's as if when we're together, I'm still not fully awake
or prepared for our time. But, the truth is Stanley once I've dealt
with you I know the worst is over and I can go on with my day or week
until we meet again. I hope you have a great summer, and maybe we
should hang out. I'll be more rested, and the summer days kind of mesh
together nicely for friendships. I don't know what it is, but once
school comes around we just don't work well together.

On Mon, Apr 23, 2012 at 1:52 PM, Mr. Neary <tjn...@gmail.com> wrote:

[Lizzy Hilt]

Tina, you are like a mirror. No matter insecure you make me feel, you never fail at letting me forget who I am. Sometimes I like what I see in you. You just need to let your own personality shine threw a little harder. And try not to take offense when I look at you in disgust frequently. (I’m not a morning person.) I see a lot of myself in you, Tina, but sometimes your personality is a little two-dimensional. Try to shake things up and look at the world in a new way. I hope our relationship can grow over the summer, especially after I’ve gotten tanner. And don’t forget! Don’t stare at people, its rude.

[Cat Mosier-Mills]

Emma, you are like a golden retriever; while both loyal and always ready for adventures, I feel like you and I play tug-of-war a bit too often. Your eager attitude is somewhat overwhelming, and even though you envelop me in a soft coat of kindness, I feel like I'm responsible for making sure you're not in danger. I know you hate it when I won't let you eat at my table, or blame you for something that's missing in my life; but, you're always back the next day, eager and excited for things to get going again.

[Melissa Lee]

Katrina, you are like a redwood tree. I admire that you stand so tall and broadly even in the most hectic of storms.  Although I may seem like a mere speck in comparison to the vastness of your height, you still provide me cool shade when things get too hot. Ever since I had first met you, I always could tell you were very grounded, as your roots were embedded deep within the basic soils of the world. Although, sometimes I feel like you tend to cover up or hide others with your bold presence; it’s not necessarily a bad thing because everyone can look up to you. On the other hand, I hope you have a great summer and maybe during the summer break I can grow as tall as you!

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

[Quincy Shuda]

Ashley, you are like a diary. You are someone I can always turn to no matter what it is that I need to say. I’m never ashamed to tell you things that I’ve done wrong because I know you won’t judge me, and I’m never embarrassed to confess to you things that I’m proud of because I know you will be happy for me. Your pages are endless like I hope our relationship will be because what would I do without you? The cute designs on the pages are like the way you smile openly, inviting my secrets to be poured into you. Your pink lines keep me straight and never let me stray. You’re bound by a gorgeous cover that is very sturdy, like you and the advice you give me. Sometime the best thing I need is someone to listen to and not respond, but I think you can usually tell what’s coming before I even write it down. Whether it’s a scribbled note or a detailed account, you welcome my words with open pages and lock your mouth when I turn the key.

[Leigh]

Maureen, you are like a pile of Mr. Sklar's handouts. Although I don't particularly like you, I need to put up with you. To be fair, you're a medium sized pile. You don't overwhelm me completely, but you're still there. Sometimes you're interesting, and I appreciate that. Other times you drive me crazy and make me very angry. You've taught me a lot of lessons, but I don't think we should spend any more time together. Thanks for everything! HAGS!

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

[Connor]

Sam, you are like the great United States of America. At times you can be impulsive and manipulative, but I know you will always have my back. Others think you show off your achievements and flaunt your power, but I think that you have deserved it. Your grades were decent, 17th in the class I think, and I doubt anyone would ever try to get in a fight with you. The diversity in your family is enormous and it reflects well in your personality. The best thing about you, however, is how you will always be free no matter what day it is.

[Shefain Islam]

Emily, you are like a goldfish. Most of the times, you absolutely nothing at all and lie around in habitat with nothing much surrounding you but a few lifeless and useless objects. Yet, your amazing golden radiance inspires and attracts me and I am never able to forget you despite the fact that I forget to feed you from time to time. My forgetfulness does not harm our friendship because you are one resilient person and always accept my few extra flakes of food that I offer as an apology. Yes, Emily you are one bright goldfish in this dark ocean full of sharks and you light the path for me. Don't listen to anyone who says that you're just a plain because to me, you're the most special fish in the sea.

[Ashley Gubernick]

Quincy you are like a magic eight ball.  Whenever I am lost and don't know what to do you always have an answer.  Sometimes I have no idea what your saying so I just nod and smile, but other times your simple yes or no answers guide me in the right direction. I can confront you with any problem, and even if I need to shake some sense into you, you'll always know what to do.   Although you may or may not actually be magic that is more of an opinion than a fact.  People may try and copy you, but you're the original and you always stay true to that.  You will listen to my naive questions and answer me without any sass (for the most part).  I can bring you to a party and everyone will love you (also for the most part....)

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

[James Lofton]

Thomas, you are like a cattle prod. I try to embrace your smooth skin
but i am repulsed like lightning. You leave me with scars and make me
scream. At times you are the tool of the powerful kids but your
personality is always electric. Sometimes your personality can be
dull, and sometimes eccentric. However for all your faults, thomas you
keep me going. If i start to lag, thinking of your decisive motivation
keeps me going. Yea you are a bully, but the fear you instill in me
makes me better. Looking back, without you i would be nothing, but
with you I am the best I can be. So Thomas, I hate you and the pain
you dish out. Thomas I love you and the motivation you instill in me.

On Apr 23, 1:52 pm, "Mr. Neary" <tjne...@gmail.com> wrote:
> (Refer to class handout for the full, unedited version of this assignment.)
>
> Assume you are writing a yearbook message to a friend, but this time around
> you are going to step up your game.  Instead of whipping out the "don't
> ever change" or the tried-and-truly dishonest "let's hang out this summer,"

> you'll put your poetic prowess to work.  Basically, *you will use a simile

> to describe this friend of yours.  As part of the message, you will spell

> out the simile, elaborating on the common traits.  *

>
> So, for instance, I might write: "Dorothy, you are like a stapler.  When I
> am given to whims and appear flighty, you step in and keep me grounded and
> in place.  But you're more than the proverbial paper weight, for at other
> times your sharp words keep me tied down. Furthermore, I feel like we are
> connected, brought together for a reason, primarily because we are so
> alike.  Lastly, you never tire of me.  Even when I think you are about to
> run out of energy or out of patience, you reload and come back as good as
> new."
>

> *Due: Friday, April 27*

[Josh Klag]

Bill, you are like a pillow. Soft and comforting, you protect my head from the trials and tribulations of this world. And just when I think you're growing dull, I flip you over and discover a cool new side. Although sometimes you can suffocate me, I know in your  heart you have good intentions. And thank god you're not full of crap.

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

[Rachel Hochberger]

Emily, you are like a camera. You allow me to capture the best of times and you give me a reminder of old memories. You give me a new perspective on life- a new focus- and help me to see things in a way that’s new, different, and always inspiring. But more importantly, you allow me to really see what’s always been in front of me at times when I can’t seem to do so myself- and to find something magical in something mundane. 

[Jeremy Rhome]

Bob, you're like a ferocious thunder and lightning storm.  The chaos you bring me when we are together makes me feel as if the world is going to end.  Your energy is as persisting as rain beating down on the roof all night long.  The noise is exciting but yet when you I try to accomplish something productive when I am with you, there is no chance.  Its like trying to fall a sleep when thunder shimmies the windows and lightning zaps your house; you are just simply impossible to work with but extraordinarily fun to be around.  After you leave the storm passes and finally life returns to normalcy; however, this change makes me realize what a thrill I have spending time with you.  Have a great summer and hopefully many storms await us!

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

[Allie Martin]

Joanna, you are like my iPod. You never stop making noise, and while appreciate the music coming out of my headphones, your incessant chatter is rather annoying. Sometimes you talk about politics like a John Lennon song or frivolous teenage girl problems more suited to a Madonna album. Though it is sometimes never ending and all i want to do is push the pause button I can never seem to stop listening. 

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

[Erica F]

Blue Ivy, you are like a sappy love novel. You're crazy, dramatic, and
full of fun twists and turns. When I'm with you I can forget all of my
problems, because yours are far more entertaining! You make me laugh,
cry, and smile, all within 10 minutes. Our friendship isn't perfect,
I've gotten my fair share of paper cuts from you, but overall I can
say we've had some great times that I'll never forget. Who knows,
maybe by the time we're all grown up, there will be a sequel!

On Apr 23, 1:52 pm, "Mr. Neary" <tjne...@gmail.com> wrote:

> (Refer to class handout for the full, unedited version of this assignment.)
>
> Assume you are writing a yearbook message to a friend, but this time around
> you are going to step up your game.  Instead of whipping out the "don't
> ever change" or the tried-and-truly dishonest "let's hang out this summer,"

> you'll put your poetic prowess to work.  Basically, *you will use a simile

> to describe this friend of yours.  As part of the message, you will spell

> out the simile, elaborating on the common traits.  *

>
> So, for instance, I might write: "Dorothy, you are like a stapler.  When I
> am given to whims and appear flighty, you step in and keep me grounded and
> in place.  But you're more than the proverbial paper weight, for at other
> times your sharp words keep me tied down. Furthermore, I feel like we are
> connected, brought together for a reason, primarily because we are so
> alike.  Lastly, you never tire of me.  Even when I think you are about to
> run out of energy or out of patience, you reload and come back as good as
> new."
>

> *Due: Friday, April 27*

[Sarah M]

Lashanda, you are like my favorite bottle of hairspray. Whenever I'm
feeling (and looking) a bit frazzled, you help me stay put together
and keep all my problems in place. Though sometimes you can make me a
little stiff, you always have a strong hold on reality and keep my
head and eyes clear. I always need you to accompany me to the hottest
parties and events, and you prove to be a good and reliable companion
to my madness. I sincerely hope that, in summer's heat and humidity,
we do not part!

[Maureen McDermott]

Dear Bernadette, you are like my Favorite TV show. You are always there to light up my day, and no matter how much time we spend together, you never get old. Sometimes you make me upset, but in the end you always pull through. Whenever I am having a bad day, you are always there to make me feel better. I will even forgo doing my homework to see you, if necessary. 

P.S. (Dear Leigh Nye, you are like my favorite pair of shoes, I use you to shield my feet from stinky sticky stuff on the ground and look good while doing it! Thanks for always being there)

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

[Ben Cohen]

D' brickashaw, you are like football on a Sunday. When I am trying to
get work done, you use your drama to entrap me in something
unproductive. Not only do you distract me, but when you do something I
was not hoping for, you give me more anger than I had from being
assigned a fresh pile of handouts to read. Despite the pain you
inflict on me, I would be lost without you. You are like my favorite
team, when you do something amazing, I am infatuated with happiness.
You also provide me with entertainment, when I realize I have nothing
better to do with my life. And lastly you help me forget the stress in
my life with your entrancing excitement and unpredictability.

On Apr 23, 1:52 pm, "Mr. Neary" <tjne...@gmail.com> wrote:

> (Refer to class handout for the full, unedited version of this assignment.)
>
> Assume you are writing a yearbook message to a friend, but this time around
> you are going to step up your game.  Instead of whipping out the "don't
> ever change" or the tried-and-truly dishonest "let's hang out this summer,"

> you'll put your poetic prowess to work.  Basically, *you will use a simile

> to describe this friend of yours.  As part of the message, you will spell

> out the simile, elaborating on the common traits.  *

>
> So, for instance, I might write: "Dorothy, you are like a stapler.  When I
> am given to whims and appear flighty, you step in and keep me grounded and
> in place.  But you're more than the proverbial paper weight, for at other
> times your sharp words keep me tied down. Furthermore, I feel like we are
> connected, brought together for a reason, primarily because we are so
> alike.  Lastly, you never tire of me.  Even when I think you are about to
> run out of energy or out of patience, you reload and come back as good as
> new."
>

> *Due: Friday, April 27*

[Maddie Chapin]

Betty, you are like a brussel sprout. No one likes you, but they are forced to tolerate you. When taken in small portions, you are tolerable, but when given a large platter, you are disgusting. A lot of the time you make me want to throw up and leave me sitting at the table, just me and you, forcing yourself and your loudness down my throat. As much as I would like to say I will miss you this summer, I won't. Try to work on your boasting personality that makes people drop their jaws and spit you out. 

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

[Zoe Bermudez]

Devin, you are like an ape. Loud, obnoxious, ugly, and furry; you make
me feel so happy to belong to a higher species of civilized people.
Your constant howling has made the world stop trying to decipher what
you mean. We've pretty much all come to the conclusion that you yell
because you're hungry. It's like you're in a zoo; just an attraction
for people to glance at, get bored, and move on to something more
interesting. And since you find pleasure in obnoxiously rubbing your
horrid ass on the glass for all to see, I'm so glad I'm on the other
side of your little world. You're like something I would see on a
National Geographic cover; something that zoologists would try to
study the ridiculous behaviors of. Not only that, you're mating habits
would be hilarious to watch on TV. Who knew that a gorilla could have
so many boyfriends in a lifetime?

[Steven Wood]

Mitt, you are like an Etch-A-Sketch.  When your polls go down you shake and start again.  Simply turning nobs to form an opposite opinion.  Shaking again to appease everyone.  Winning Massachusetts with liberal views and shakes once again to win the primaries. 

On Monday, April 23, 2012 1:52:09 PM UTC-4, Mr. Neary wrote:

[Addy]

Tim, your like a great book. When ever I need to escape from my trials and tribulations you are there to help me get away from it all. You take me all around the world with you great stories. You make me laugh, cry, and think. Your ever changing variety of literary devices and metaphors keep me ever entertained. Thank you for being there for me.

[Kaleigh Link]

Jacob, you are like a golden retriever. When I need somebody to talk
to I know you're always available to listen and help make me feel
better. Whenever Im in a fight with one of your friends I know you'll
ALWAYS have my back. You make me laugh throughout the hard times, and
your hair shines a golden yellowish color. Our bond with be forever
strong and I know that I'll see you next year standing next to me as
we journey through another year together... HAGS!!! Call me maybe?
555-583-9527

On Apr 23, 1:52 pm, "Mr. Neary" <tjne...@gmail.com> wrote:
> (Refer to class handout for the full, unedited version of this assignment.)
>
> Assume you are writing a yearbook message to a friend, but this time around
> you are going to step up your game.  Instead of whipping out the "don't
> ever change" or the tried-and-truly dishonest "let's hang out this summer,"

> you'll put your poetic prowess to work.  Basically, *you will use a simile

> to describe this friend of yours.  As part of the message, you will spell

> out the simile, elaborating on the common traits.  *

>
> So, for instance, I might write: "Dorothy, you are like a stapler.  When I
> am given to whims and appear flighty, you step in and keep me grounded and
> in place.  But you're more than the proverbial paper weight, for at other
> times your sharp words keep me tied down. Furthermore, I feel like we are
> connected, brought together for a reason, primarily because we are so
> alike.  Lastly, you never tire of me.  Even when I think you are about to
> run out of energy or out of patience, you reload and come back as good as
> new."
>

> *Due: Friday, April 27*