Let's face it. Life is harsh and unrewarding. Human
population explosion is killing our planet. If you do not
kill yourself, you will harm yourself and others. Suicide
is the only way to go. When properly executed, suicide is
painless and enjoyable.

The best suicide method is a form of strangulation
utilizing a ratchet tie down. You can buy it at automobile
and some hardware stores for $5-$10. It will work best
if you replace the short fabric tape attached to the
ratchet with a longer tape. Cut off one yard of tape
from the roll and sew it to the ratchet. Place the
tie down around your neck so that it fits loosely. Roll
up a small towel, bend it into a U-shape, and place each
end of the rolled-up towel under the tie down, on
the opposite sides of your windpipe (or adam's apple).
The towel acts as a padding protecting your windpipe.
If you do not use the towel, the tie down will push hard
against your windpipe causing pain and suffocation.
Turn the ratchet until the tie down is very tight, yet
loose enough to breathe. As you turn the ratchet, its
compressive force closes jugular veins, then carotid
and vertebral arteries. You will loose consciousness
suddenly, 8-15 seconds after the blood circulation to
your brain has stopped. Your unconscious body will
thrash around for 5-10 minutes, then die.

If you turn the ratchet quickly, and apply enough
pressure, there will be no pain and your head will look
normal after you die. If you, however, do not apply
sufficient pressure quickly, blood will accumulate in
your head. This will change color of your head to
blue-purple and may cause headache.

Rubber tie downs can be used as a substitute for the
ratchet tie down. You will need the rubber tie downs having
the total length of about eight feet. To test their force,
wrap them around your leg above knee, one by one, until
blood circulation below the tie downs stops. It takes some
strength to wrap the tie downs tightly around  neck. The
hooks get in the way, so pressure distribution is not
uniform.

Tie down strangulation is easy to implement,
painless, reliable, and, most of all, it does not require
any courage. Actually, it is fun to play with the ratchet
tie down -- asphyxia has been used for centuries as a means
of sexual arousal.

Hanging does not apply uniform pressure on the neck and
for that reason it is inferior to the ratchet tie down.
If you hang yourself in such a way that your feet are
above ground, you will feel pain due to excessive
pressure on your neck. If you hang yourself while sitting
on the ground, the pressure may drop while your
unconscious body thrashes around. If this happens, you
may become permanently disabled rather than dead.
If you insist on hanging yourself, tie the noose at such
height that it fits loosely when you stand up, but is tight
when you bend your knees a little. The minimum thickness
of the rope is 1/2 inch. One inch wide leather belt is
more comfortable than rope of any thickness. On the other
hand, it is difficult to fasten securely the loose end of
a short belt. You may have to fasten the belt with two or
three wood screws. Having the noose on your neck, knot on
your nape, and padding around your windpipe, bend your
knees to tighten the noose. If you feel pain or cannot
breathe, use your legs to reduce the pressure.