Partner Hauls.

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

I was honestly tired of these thing's shit. They're only there to be a bother to mankind! You know, those Yukkuri. I have to transport goods from coast to coast and have to deal with these fuckers! The problem is, I can't just one-and-done'em. Nooo.... I have to deal with them 'humanely' and some states won't even let me squash them! Now don't get me started on those other fuckers who are worse than PETA. All they do is just bitch and moan if you killed a pastry. Well, I can't help what usually happens if you "murder" a yukkuri... Damnit, almost late...

"Take it easy mister!" This bodied Chen eagerly calls out to me,
"Yeah, yeah." I nonchalantly reply as I walk by, this thing was always nice to me. I dunno why, It never pestered me, never asked for handouts, or cried crocodile tears for pity. She was actually one of the only good Yukkuri I have ever seen.
"Hey," stopping and looking at the loading dock I ask, "Why are you so... So... Civilized?" This really puzzled me. With a grin, that's surprisingly not deibu-ish it responded back, "Chen was a pet yukkuri! Until She made the mistake." Her voice was unfaltered, slightly strange for a Yukkuri recalling a past trauma.
"So how do you?" I ask
"Feed myself?" Chen's ears twitch around as she answers back "I usually help other mister humans! I help inside the store and clean!"
"Uh-huh, okay then. Have a nice day." I say waving to the Chen while walking away.
Sure, this is my final truckstop for the day, but... I feel as if she's in need. Like she is trying to achieve something but she never will, and she knows it too. But it seems as if she's doing okay. The whole truckstop sees her as a poster girl. So she should be fine. I'll sleep a day and check on her. Tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow would be good.

[Cloudrunner62]

Oh? New mister writers!?! Take it easy mister Thomas!

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

Yeah, this was a simple prologue.

[Baron Mind]

T-t-take it easy! New mister author can take it easy, even if mister name is scary-scary!

I hope by 'prologue' you mean that more is forthcoming? Because as it stands, my only complaint is that there's not enough of it. =)

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

On Tuesday, September 1, 2015 at 10:28:18 PM UTC-4, Baron Mind wrote:

T-t-take it easy! New mister author can take it easy, even if mister name is scary-scary!

I hope by 'prologue' you mean that more is forthcoming? Because as it stands, my only complaint is that there's not enough of it. =)

This is  more of a test really. I wanted to see community reaction. I actually have a few other first chapters that maybe will be posted. Basically test stories. The first is about a child with cancer dying, but given a pet yukkuri as a coping mechanism for his inevitable demise,  written in a journal format. Second story, an orphan child raised by abusive foster parents and him befriending the mini-yukkuris, they teach him family, while he properly trains him. Written in first person. Third, a man grieving over a recent divorce, until a bodied half-human Mokou falls in love with him written first person. Fourth,  a specially-bred bodied Okuu befriends a young boy, who later is kidnapped and she goes on full vendetta.

[Baron Mind]

Whoa... those sound as dark as my bodied-yukkuri story outlines. The halfyukkuri Mokou one sounds pretty interesting though! I, uh, hope it doesn't end too tragically.

While I don't mind the darker stuff myself, I will suggest you try to avoid sounding like you're ranting. The opening paragraph of this story sounds a bit forced and awkward - it needs something to give it some depth. I'm not much good at writing this stuff myself, but maybe this sort of thing:

I'm honestly tired of thses thing's shit. They exist solely to be a bother to mankind! You know what I'm talking about: yukkuri. I have to transport goods from coast to coast, and a day doesn't go by when I don't have to deal with these fuckers! The problem is, I can't just one-and-done'em, noooo... I have to deal with them 'humanely'. Some states won't even let me squash 'em! What else am I supposed to do? They're like cockroaches! 

 

And don't even get me started on those fuckers who think PETA is "too soft". Step on one yukkuri and they call you a murderer! So what if I ran over a bunch of stupid pastries? I can't help it if they're dumb enough to stand there puffing at my truck instead of getting out of the way! I've got deadlines to meet! You want to give these shitballs human rights, try giving them human brains first... dammit, almost late...

I hope I don't sound like I'm being judgemental; I'm just trying to point out something I think you could work on. We can all improve!

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

I know. This will be the only story with a happyish end. Yes the Mokou one will be sad, my goal is to make you really wish to be able to console the main character

[Baron Mind]

Maybe a bit too sad for me right now, then. =(

Curious to see how this bodied Chen turns out though. Was her suddenly switching from third to first person speech intentional?

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

Yup...

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

For thd past three months inspirstion kind of died over and over but I think I made something bearable


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Another day, another dollar. Always the same routine, well, somewhat. Drinking my coffee in the tractor trailer's sleeping area, which of course I gutted it and refurbished it to my liking. Fuck stock. Though, what confused me was that Chen. Sure she was a bodied type, but she looked more human. I did think about going to see her so maybe before I leave she may be around. Though I don't think she will be up at four in the morning.
Washing up a bit, I casually stroll from the trucker stop and headed for the store. She wasn't there obviously. Though I did hear faint cries, fucking great. I went past the loading bays following the wails. They were sharp, but strangely enough sounded human, not really yukkuri like not even bodied yukkuri sounding. The gate opened where the sobbing originated from opened, to be precise, loading gate seven. Of course I haul ass and jump in the mid section of number five. A clerk comes out in what seems like the biggest hissy fit in the world, yelling and screaming.
"You dumbass! You spilt the water on the carpet you dipshit! It could mold!" Spit could be seen from the bitchy clerk, hilarious too since he had possibly the biggest lisp in the world, It's like having Mike Tyson speak. But worse.
"S-sorry sir.." A familiar voice I recognize barely squeaks out.
"No bitch! No sorry! Punishment time!" The clerk with the out-of-control lisp shouts
Sure I wanted to hear more but.. Morals... They kick your ass a bit. Springing up, I jog over, was not willing to push too much to help whatever it was.

I make my way straight into the light behind what looks like that Chen. Sheesh.... She was covered with tears her face red and lips quivering. The lighting didn't help because I look like a demon. Without further notice I yoinked her right in front of the guy, and hauled ass off with her, sure it was a pussy move but I don’t want news reports of me beating down a fatass Mike Tyson. With that, I run around the entire building and run to my truck wrenching the door and then slamming it shut.

I gave a few breaths and asked, “Okay tell me, where did he hit you.” She was shivering, whimpering, and was just a mess but finally responded
“He didn’t hit me yet.” She choked out, “Am I going back?”
“Hell no. You need someone to take better care of you.”
“But what if!”
“No.” I reply in the calmest voice I muster, “We need to go, I can’t stand for someone like you to be abused.”
“Oh.. Okay…” Chen looks down seemingly teary-eyed and afraid.
“But hey! You can stay with me. It’s good to have a partner again.” I say with a reassuring pat to her head
“Really? Why? Why me… Why not another less troublesome yukkuri?” Her face becomes teary again with slight anger
“Why? Because… I said so, and you would honestly help me cope with a loss a lot better.” I look at her while she fidgets in her seat.
“Wh-what happened? If I-I may a-” I cut her off.
“Jeez why so nervous? I ain’t afraid to talk about him. S’Just gettin over it is the problem missy.” I look away from her pulling some words out of my chest that are chained down like a wild animal
“Well, you see. We were just little ones when we met. We played together, went to school together, and even sometimes we would go out and cause mischief together. Of course, when we were older. We joined the military, I joined Army, he joined Marines. Y’know, just for competition… Sure we didn’t see each other a lot, but when we did, We would rub our accomplishments into each other's face. Worked out great! Though we both left after almost 5 years, we were both corporals. Though, in the military you move around a lot, we got so used to it we decided to just become truckers so we couldn’t lose the feeling. Worked out well until we found out he had cancer after a series of sick spells. Found out it was too late. Afterwards… He just… Died.” Struggling the last words out to Chen made me feel bad. Almost cried in front of a girl. But she’s a yukkuri. At least it would be fine. Just a little.
“Hey” Chen says as she looks at me, and comes over for her hand on my cheek, “I would love to be your partner.” Chen’s face no longer red has a soft, warm smile contrasting with the cool night as she leans over for a hug.

[Hitosura]

Not a bad continuation.

If you need inspiration, simply ask yourself:

Okay, where do we go next?

Does he hire her?

Does he pay her?

Does he take her home?

Do they sleep together?

Does she help him load/unload?

What happens when his boss sees her?

Does he take her home on his off times?

Ask those questions, and in your head, let the scenario play itself out.

It's how I do it.  Ask the question, watch the playback, type what you see.

Hope this helps!

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

Yee!

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

Everybody! This new chapter is almost here! All aboard the Hype train! CHOO-CHOO CHUGGA CHUGGA CHOO-CHOO!!!

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

Chapter 5
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Taking her hand off my face unfurl my bed plan about sleeping arrangements.
“Okay. ‘Nuff of the sob stories,” I look over to the door behind the seats to the cabin, “We’re gonna be needing to getting a sleeping regiment.”
“Wha-what?” Chen cocks her head over the statement.
“Yeah, duhh. We’re gonna need to take turns sleeping so each of us has a turn to dri-” realization struck me like a bat… She can’t drive.
“Forget that Chen. We’re sharing.” I quickly look back at her
“Are you really sure with that? That would be… erm..” She looks away from me slightly flustered.
“Yeah sure. I mean, I trust you that you would do nothing wrong. Because, since the laws are not really in place for bodied yukkuri,” I get in her face with the softest smile I can give and say “I can kill you with little to no consequence if you ever betray the care I will give.”
She looks at me mouth agape shuddering.
“Now, we need to work a sleeping arrangement for you first and get you all situated.”
Looking at the dashboard clock I see it’s 4:27, “Okay then, we’ll be up for the time being. I have a few more loads before I can take leave.” I look back at her and she nods in response.I twist ignition. Most likely startling everyone who is trying to sleep, but meh, I don’t care. And I pull out of the pilot and I pull out of there and head back onto the interstate.
“Now Chen, tell me about yourself. If I’m going to be travelling with a new partner, I’d better get to know’em first.” I say while slouching back in the seat.
“Well,” Chen begins hesitantly, “I was once a pet to a child, she was kind to me and always played with me, problem is” Chen’s eyes begin to water, “They were abusive of her, they hit her, yelled at her, and called her names so we always played together in secret. That’s until they found out about us. She picked me up and ran down the stairs, and opened the backdoor and pushed me out and screamed ‘Run!’.” Chen began to sob lightly as she told the story, “When I saw to look… I saw her mother beating her!” Chen finishing the last words with sobs as she clings to me.
“It’s okay…” I whisper softly
her soft muffled sobs soaking into my t-shirt as I tightly embrace her, I felt choked up as I laid my head onto her shoulder as well, and I began to tear up and cry. We’ve both lost someone, and now...
“I assume we now have each other to fill the void that was left open.” I whisper as I lift my head.
“Yeah…” She says as Chen slowly unwraps from me and goes back to fill her seat.
“We need to start this delivery.” I say while turning the key in the ignition, “After this, and another, I can bring you to my house.” I end with a smile.

Cranking the truck up, we exit onto the interstate, and head out into shortest route possible to drop off the container.
“Chen, you know I’m your friend right?” I take a quick gander at Chen who’s looking out the side window.
“Yeah, I know…” Chen replies nonchalantly.
This conversation is getting nowhere. I wanna get her pepped up! Like me and my ol’buddy used to. I’m gonna have to teach her, give her memories, make her into family.
“You know Chen,” I say with a bored sigh, “I’m gonna need to teach you things, give you memories, just so we can be able to talk.”
Oh really?” Chen, luckily interested slightly turned her head to me, “Like what?”
“Aha! So many things! So many surprises!” I began laugh heartily, “But, it’s winter, so we’re gonna need you to get some clothes, The winter will reek Hell on you.”
“But when can we?” Chen says, visibly curious, with her ears twitching.
“When I am able to get off.” I quickly look at her and back to the road.
“Why get me new clothes though?” Chen looks at me, head slightly tilted.
“Because, you need some new clothes and clothes for the winter, some places, have the mild winters but when you go up north. Woo boy, they get a freezin.” I say with a nice smirk on my face
“Oooohhh…. I see….” Chen looks down with those cute ears pointed at me, “But where are we headed?”
“Brooklyn, can be cold as Hell.” I mutter.

A few angry drivers, getting cut off, and having some dumbass in a Prius hipster that has a sign that fucking says, “Truckers kill the envirometn!” but the spelling was fucked up and the t and n were switched around. But we ended up at a Pilot near Brooklyn and we’re close to dropping off the container.
Chen was still pushing herself in her seat, absolutely afraid of what transpired at the time, she looked at me and asked with a wimpy voice, “W-what went wrong,” Chen was stuttering to high-Hell, “I-I mean, why do you have to drive your truck slower or faster than other trucks?” Chen still shaken by the experience.
“Well, you see. When we drive on an interstate, we have a max speed we’re locked at. It heavily varies from other truckers, and so that means if we go up a hill, some trucks might get slowed down. But if a faster truck goes down hill he has to use his brakes to not go over his max speed.” I say with a reassuring pat on her shoulders, “Don’t worry, we’ll be fine. I’ve been used to this.” She nods back to me.
“Also, found out this delivery is actually my last one for 6 days too.”
I look at my clock to see it being eleven o’clock, I then turn to chen who’s already yawning and leaning her head over, with her little head nodding off to sleep. I unbuckle her seatbelt and carry her over to the bed in the cab. Laying her on the bed still awake slightly, I pull a shirt out and try to swap her dress out for her. That was a bad mistake.She jumps awake, absolutely scaring me and she almost screams, “What are you doing!”
“I’m getting you a shirt to wear!” I respond surprised,
She reluctantly agrees and I begin to slip her dress off, probably too tired to care for modesty, she shows nearly entirely naked except her socks and shoes, which she kicks off, and her panties. Slipping the shirt over her, she purrs slightly, and she crawls slowly to a pillow and clutches it. I yawn, as I carefully walk around the bed So I can finally lie down and get shuteye. Pulling some covers over me, I hear Chen say,
“It’s too cold…” Chen pouts Pulling the covers over her.
“Fine, here.” I wrap my arm over her, and pulling her towards me as she blushes,
“But… What about…” Chen looks at me with distressed eyes, looking all over the place.
“Ahh don’t worry. You wanted to be warm right? Well you’re gonna get warm.” I slur out, sounding like a drunk.
“Okay…” Chen looks at me and she closes her eyes. Falling asleep with record time.

It was morning. My eyes cracking open, with it still pitch dark outside, I look down to see my new buddy. Snuggling up to me and smiling, with such an adorable look on her face I didn’t want to ruin it but of course, I have to, and probably unleash the Hell of waking a woman up early.
“Wakey, wakey…” I whisper softly while prodding her.
“Ny-nyo… I don’t wanna get up.” Chen pouts, and shoves her face into a pillow.
“You’ll get a surprise if you do.” I whisper again in attempt, to wake this rock up.
“Oookaay…” Chen slurs out, dragging herself from bed.
“Don’t worry, I’ll make breakfast.” I say with a few more pokes to Chen.
I (thankfully) created the cab like mini house, but it’s not luxurious like some other cabs I’ve seen. But still I can make the best kind of breakfast. Eggs, and bacon. While cooking, the smell attracts Chen, while she is drowsy she’ll be up and running in no time. I begin to cook the best Bacon and eggs you can ever think of. I already see Chen walking her way over while rubbing her eyes and she says, “Something smells good.”
“Damn straight, you’s a smellin Chef Ashens cooking.” I say with cocky intention.
“Your name is Ashens?” Chen says with her weary eyes.
“Yup.” I reply with the biggest grin.
“After this we can leave right?” Chen looks at me woken up a bit.
“Yeah. That’s right.” I reply back enthusiastically
I hand her a plate of the good stuff, and I make my own as I dog it down, but Chen eats slower. So while she is preoccupied I put my clothes on and before I exit I let Chen know that I need to go in the Pilot to pick something up.

On my way to the Pilot I hear a shrill scream. After scaring the living Hell out of me, I run to the source of the sound. to a sight to behold.

“PLEEZ SDOP ID” a little Reimu screams. I see a small child, who looks to be seven, and his parents not watching him, as he just tortures yukkuri and smears the paste on his face.
“Hey, hey, hey!” I call out to him, he in turn just looks up at me like a deer in headlights.
“Whatcha doin’ there huh?” I say in a childish tone
“I’m playing with my new friends…” He replies back in kind
“Well did you know you’re hurting them?” I say
“Really!?” The child was genuinely surprised
“Yeah, and you should better stop.” I gave him a serious look
“Okay…” He replies with disappointment and walks off.
He was really easy to deal with. But I of course need to see the damage. There are 3 Reimus, I think… I think there was an adult, two children, Then, there was a few unique yukkuri… One was a… Oh wow…. A dead pregnant Koishi and a baby Satori, hiding behind a used tire leaning on the curb, and a child Rin…

I whisk away the dead Koishi, Baby Satori, and Rin. They both of course are completely speechless. This is not good. Caring for a Satori, Rin, and an unspecified amount of Koishi’s? As well as Chen? Fuck. Me.

[Thomas the Dank Engine]

I realized the mistakes I made in this chapter, sorry