TOT: wicked old man answers phone to cold caller

[Bill Wright]

Me: Hello?
Girl: Could I speak to the person in charge of the franking machine?
Me: The what machine?
Girk: The franking machine.
Me: The spanking machine? Oh we don't need one! The children left home
years ago!
Girl: No, the FRANKING machine!
Me: Oh sorry! The WANKING machine! Oh yes, that sounds good! How much
are they?

She rung off. Aren't some people rude?

Bill

[Peter Crosland]

"Bill Wright" <bi...@invalid.com> wrote in message
news:jb5nnt$69e$1...@speranza.aioe.org...

I don't believe a word of it but it is a good story.


Peter Crosland

[Bill Wright]

Sorry, but it is verbatim. Asking her to repeat what she said gave me
time to think.

Bill

[John Hall]

In article <jb5vhe$r38$1...@speranza.aioe.org>,

Could have been a wrong number, and she thought that she was speaking to
someone at a firm that her company had a maintenance contract with.
Maybe I'm too trusting, but I wouldn't have started off from the
assumption that she was trying to sell me something.
--
John Hall
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism
by those who have not got it."
George Bernard Shaw

[Peter Crosland]

"Bill Wright" <bi...@invalid.com> wrote in message

news:jb5vhe$r38$1...@speranza.aioe.org...

You are a very wicked man. Please continue in the same way.

Peter Crosland

[Paul]

"John Hall" <nospam...@jhall.co.uk> wrote in message
news:x77HHbGL...@jhall.demon.co.uk.invalid...

John, perhaps you haven't had much experience answering the phone for a
company. Junk cold calls come thick and fast; you sometimes get a clue from
the caller ID - withheld, international or unavailable, 0161 (Manchester)
and 0151 (Liverpool) for me are the most frequent IDs of unwanted calls.

I notice that quite a few pubs have now ditched their landlines because of
the number of junk (and scam) callers.

Paul

[Bill Wright]

John Hall wrote:

>
> Could have been a wrong number, and she thought that she was speaking to
> someone at a firm that her company had a maintenance contract with.
> Maybe I'm too trusting, but I wouldn't have started off from the
> assumption that she was trying to sell me something.

No, we've had sales calls like that many times.

Bill

[Bill Wright]

Peter Crosland wrote:

> You are a very wicked man. Please continue in the same way.
>
> Peter Crosland
>
>

I have every intention.

Bill

[Mike]

In article <Y9GdnZglsfHkCEvT...@brightview.co.uk>,

Peter Crosland <g6...@yahoo.co.uk> wrote:

>You are a very wicked man. Please continue in the same way.

I got a cold call asking "if I had any outstanding pets?"

Any what?

"Any outstanding pets, we can help you with them".

What, you mean like a keyboard playing cat, or a singing dog,
or a juggling goat?

"No, like mortgages and credit cards".

No I don't have a pet credit card. Sorry. But I want to know more
about how can you help with my mathematically gifted horse? He can
add up, you know! Can you get me on TV or something, maybe a movie
deal?

Guess which word I may have misheard ...
--
--------------------------------------+------------------------------------
Mike Brown: mjb[-at-]signal11.org.uk | http://www.signal11.org.uk

--- Posted via news://freenews.netfront.net/ - Complaints to ne...@netfront.net ---

[fred]

In article <jb69kr$l4g$1...@speranza.aioe.org>, Bill Wright
<bi...@invalid.com> writes

You do need to be careful though, I got calls on my (very) private
mobile number starting:

"Hello Mr <>, I'm <> calling from <>"

to which I responded:

"Don't call again <hangs up>"

It was only on the third call back with the caller talking very fast
that I heard:

"Hello Mr <>, I'm <> calling from <>, <v good friend's name> suggested I
call you about a v lucrative contract"

They were surprisingly understanding about my privacy concerns and
repeated hangups <?>.
--
fred
it's a ba-na-na . . . .

[Brian Gaff]

She probably thought she was talking to an idiot.
Mind you have you ever noticed how they never consider what they are doing
idiotic?
Consider this for a moment. You are engaged to ring people up about
something, but you yourself do not know much about what you are asking
about, thus when the person you speak to asks a question you often do not
know the answer so need to ring off and ask.
It all seems so illogical to me.
Brian

--
Brian Gaff - bri...@blueyonder.co.uk
Note:- In order to reduce spam, any email without 'Brian Gaff'
in the display name may be lost.
Blind user, so no pictures please!

"Bill Wright" <bi...@invalid.com> wrote in message
news:jb5nnt$69e$1...@speranza.aioe.org...

[larkim]

On Nov 30, 9:30 pm, "Paul" <pdixey@free_nospam)netname.co.uk> wrote:
> "John Hall" <nospam_no...@jhall.co.uk> wrote in message
>
> news:x77HHbGL...@jhall.demon.co.uk.invalid...
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > In article <jb5vhe$r3...@speranza.aioe.org>,

> > Bill Wright <b...@invalid.com> writes:
> >>Peter Crosland wrote:

> >>> "Bill Wright" <b...@invalid.com> wrote in message  news:jb5nnt
> >>>$69...@speranza.aioe.org...

The worst I get (and I work at a charity) are "Hello, its XXX here,
we'd just like to thank you for sponsoring the [Police / Fire
Service / Ambulance Service] wall planner last year, and wanted to
confirm that you'll be spending [£x,xxx] with us again". I probably
get at least one of these calls every couple of months or so.

They record the phone calls and unless you are quick to recall that
you never ever sponsor these wall planners often sucker some of the
staff here into committing to sponsorship, not realising that these
wall planners (if they are even printed) are just sent by the
publishers direct to the police stations etc where they are promptly
dumped in a bin. They are nothing to do with the police / fire /
ambulance service at all.

Scum!

Matt

[Dave Plowman (News)]

In article <wECsNoB8fs1OFwM0@y.z>,

fred <n...@for.mail> wrote:
> You do need to be careful though, I got calls on my (very) private
> mobile number starting:

I have never had a cold call on my mobile.

--
*If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

Dave Plowman da...@davenoise.co.uk London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

[Graham.]

On 01/12/2011 09:58, Brian Gaff wrote:
> She probably thought she was talking to an idiot.
> Mind you have you ever noticed how they never consider what they are doing
> idiotic?
> Consider this for a moment. You are engaged to ring people up about
> something, but you yourself do not know much about what you are asking
> about, thus when the person you speak to asks a question you often do not
> know the answer so need to ring off and ask.
> It all seems so illogical to me.
> Brian
>

A guy one rang me and asked how much I pay to make phone calls, when I
told him he conceded it was much cheaper than the service he was
offering, and wanted to know more about mine.




--

Graham.

%Profound_observation%

[Bill Wright]

Brian Gaff wrote:
> She probably thought she was talking to an idiot.

I find I often give that impression.

Bill

[Stephen Wolstenholme]

I told one of that lot that I had a reverse charge phone so he was
paying double for the call. I think he had heard of reverse charges
but didn't quite understand what they were.

Steve

--
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[Mike Tomlinson]

In article <jb69oc$l4g$2...@speranza.aioe.org>, Bill Wright
<bi...@invalid.com> writes

>I have every intention.

Jolly good. Phone spammers are the pits. At work, if it's a company we
have traded with (usually having just taken on some clueless
marketdroid) I tell them not to call me, I'll call them if I want
anything. If they call again they get taken off the approved supplier
list.

--
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")

[The Other Mike]

On Wed, 30 Nov 2011 21:30:51 -0000, "Paul"
<pdixey@free_nospam)netname.co.uk> wrote:


>I notice that quite a few pubs have now ditched their landlines because of
>the number of junk (and scam) callers.

Mine did the same but for a different reason. After closing for a few
weeks for a refit they opened again...and found the phone wiring was
buried somewhere under the new panelling behind the bar.

--

[Dave Plowman (News)]

In article <peqjd7t96l63s2pci...@4ax.com>,

If it's a pay phone more likely to save money. The rental for those is
high, and very few would use them these days.

--
* I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid

[Scott]

On Wed, 30 Nov 2011 21:30:51 -0000, "Paul"
<pdixey@free_nospam)netname.co.uk> wrote:

>

How do you know that is the reason? Cost of line rental when most
customers have a mobile is a more likely explanation.

[Woody]

"Scott" <newsg...@gefion.myzen.co.uk> wrote in message
news:9m3kd7dirspq231jn...@4ax.com...

Ah, but you can get a call blocker - just like what they are
about to install in prisons.

Horese and stable door spring to mind?


--
Woody

harrogate three at ntlworld dot com

[gri...@gmail.com]

On Thu, 01 Dec 2011 11:10:53 +0000 (GMT), "Dave Plowman (News)"
<da...@davenoise.co.uk> wrote:

>In article <wECsNoB8fs1OFwM0@y.z>,
> fred <n...@for.mail> wrote:
>> You do need to be careful though, I got calls on my (very) private
>> mobile number starting:
>
>I have never had a cold call on my mobile.

I kept getting texts from my SP extolling their virtues.
FFS, I already know about their services, as I'm with them.
I stopped them doing that by simply telling them I would walk away
from them.
What made it most annoying was the texts invariably arrived when I was
driving.

[Jim Lesurf]

In article <peqre79bnjicquvhs...@4ax.com>,

Maybe you should get a phone with an 'off' button. :-)

Slainte,

Jim

--
Please use the address on the audiomisc page if you wish to email me.
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[J G Miller]

On Sunday, December 18th, 2011 at 17:24:55h +0000, Jim Lesurf wrote:

> Maybe you should get a phone with an 'off' button. :-)

But if you use the "off" button, you will get into trouble
with the Ministry of Information police.

Only senior party officials are allowed to use the "off"
button for short periods of time.

In fact using the off button does not prevent them from
eavesdropping on your non-telephonic communications.

<http://abcnews.go.COM/blogs/headlines/2006/12/can_you_hear_me/>

<http://www.zdnet.COM/news/fbi-taps-cell-phone-mic-as-eavesdropping-tool/150467>

But as always, if you have nothing to hide, you will not object
to the authorities listening in.

[Jim Lesurf]

In article <jclccp$69a$3...@dont-email.me>, J G Miller <mil...@yoyo.ORG>
wrote:

> On Sunday, December 18th, 2011 at 17:24:55h +0000, Jim Lesurf wrote:

> > Maybe you should get a phone with an 'off' button. :-)

> But if you use the "off" button, you will get into trouble with the
> Ministry of Information police.

Fortunately, I don't own a mobile phone. :-)

[Bill Wright]

Jim Lesurf wrote:
> In article <jclccp$69a$3...@dont-email.me>, J G Miller <mil...@yoyo.ORG>
> wrote:
>> On Sunday, December 18th, 2011 at 17:24:55h +0000, Jim Lesurf wrote:
>
>>> Maybe you should get a phone with an 'off' button. :-)
>
>> But if you use the "off" button, you will get into trouble with the
>> Ministry of Information police.
>
> Fortunately, I don't own a mobile phone. :-)

That's a bit daft. My dad has one just in case of emergency while he's
out walking. It cost bugger all. He's 92 and 355/365ths.

Bill

[Jim Lesurf]

In article <jcnp4i$p5n$2...@speranza.aioe.org>, Bill Wright

I just borrow my wife's mobile when I need to use one. :-)

But both of us leave it switched off most of the time.