How to report bullying

[Harrison Hill]

My wife works with school children. She has an
alpha-male child who is taking control of the other
children. She has tried her best to keep the
bullied away from the bully, but the children
themselves insist on being put back where they
were - in the firing line.

Today she has discovered that the bully is
"forcing" the bullied to eat paper with hand-
cream spread across it. A situation I can't
allow to continue. What should I do? I have
the weekend to decide and would welcome your
advice.

[Brian Reay]

The school has a duty to deal with this, it cannot 'duck' that.

Your wife should report the matter, without delay, to the form/class
teach. If she thinks nothing is done, a more senior teacher- eg head of
year, or head teacher (it depends on the school structure).

In the normal course of events, the form/class teacher should intervene
- they may (of course) decide it needs escalating- but there is no way
it should be allowed to be 'swept under the carpet'.

The situation sounds quite serious, were it to have cropped up in one of
my classes, it would have been dealt with in double quick time.

Without attempting or wanting to criticise your wife, you say she 'works
with children'- she should have had at least some briefing/training on
what to do in this situation from the school- as well as some other
other (less pleasant ones) those who work with children become aware
off. I suggest she requests some guidance in these areas- the school is
required to have policies on key items and ensure staff are briefed on
them. Once again- this is not intended as a criticism of your wife- it
isn't fair she is placed in a difficult position without being correctly
supported.

[Roland Perry]

In message <b1ce1c13-2751-400a...@googlegroups.com>, at
13:07:26 on Fri, 24 Mar 2017, Harrison Hill <harrison...@gmail.com>
remarked:

>My wife works with school children. She has an
>alpha-male child who is taking control of the other
>children.

Please be more precise about who these "other" children are. Your course
of action depends a lot on whether this is a workplace, family home, or
some other, scenario.

>She has tried her best to keep the
>bullied away from the bully, but the children
>themselves insist on being put back where they
>were - in the firing line.
>
>Today she has discovered that the bully is
>"forcing" the bullied to eat paper with hand-
>cream spread across it. A situation I can't
>allow to continue. What should I do? I have
>the weekend to decide and would welcome your
>advice.

--
Roland Perry

[Peter Crosland]

On 24/03/2017 20:07, Harrison Hill wrote:

She should report the matter to the head teacher. If there is no
immediate action then report it to the gobernors.


--
Peter Crosland

Reply address is valid

[Roland Perry]

In message <ob3vla$hsa$1...@dont-email.me>, at 20:33:30 on Fri, 24 Mar
2017, Brian Reay <no...@m.com> remarked:

>Your wife should report the matter, without delay, to the form/class
>teach. If she thinks nothing is done, a more senior teacher- eg head
>of year, or head teacher (it depends on the school structure).

But not to the alleged offender if he's one of those! And the higher up
the food chain the alleged offender is, the more plausible he'll make
his denial sound.
--
Roland Perry

[Harrison Hill]

And lose her job. I need a practical solution.

[Roger Hayter]

In this case the alleged offender is one of the children so perhaps we
could nip this major diversion of the subject in the bud?


--

Roger Hayter

[Clive George]

If it's a school, it have a written bullying policy. Follow that. I
suspect it'll say the same as what Peter has done, though possibly
holding back a little on the escalation may be appropriate - there
should be lower level staff to start with.

I don't see why she'd lose her job by following the policy - doing so is
the sort of thing an employment tribunal would frown upon.

One bit which does strike me as a little odd though - you say "keep the
bullied away from the bully". It should be the other way round.

[Brian Reay]

On 24/03/2017 21:57, Harrison Hill wrote:

It shouldn't come to that.

You don't say if the teacher in charge of the class (I'm assuming it is
a primary school, so one teacher to a class) is aware of the issue.

We can debate whether he/she should have 'spotted it', that is another
matter, assume he/she hasn't for simplicity.

Bringing it to their attention may we be all that is needed- they would
be fools to let it go unchecked.

If your wife is uneasy, every school has a designated member of staff
for child protection. The name is normally displayed in the staff room
etc and every staff member is required to know it. (It is the kind of
thing Ofsted check.) She could raise it with them.

If, having gone through those kind of steps, she was dismissed, the
school wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Bullying has no place in schools (or anywhere) and schools are required
to have an 'anti-bullying' policy, again something Ofsted check.*

*Ofsted check all kinds of things, not just the actual teaching. While
we classroom teachers were being observed, the support staff were having
to produce files of evidence of heaven knows what. Still, every
inspection was 'Outstanding' so it was worth it.

[Peter Crosland]

On 24/03/2017 21:57, Harrison Hill wrote:

How long has she worked there?

[Roland Perry]

In message <b09a1ab1-38bc-416e...@googlegroups.com>, at
14:57:46 on Fri, 24 Mar 2017, Harrison Hill <harrison...@gmail.com>
remarked:

>> She should report the matter to the head teacher. If there is no
>> immediate action then report it to the gobernors.
>
>And lose her job.

Why would she lose her job? The school must (in either sense) have an
anti-bullying policy, and following a school policy should never lead to
any action against the person doing the reporting. If it does, then an
employment tribunal will take a very dim view.

>I need a practical solution.

I would not advocate any "vigilante" action, if the lady isn't one of
the teachers.
--
Roland Perry

[Roland Perry]

In message <1n3eyhk.1u899yqoy9ss0N%ro...@hayter.org>, at 23:29:57 on
Fri, 24 Mar 2017, Roger Hayter <ro...@hayter.org> remarked:

>> >Your wife should report the matter, without delay, to the form/class
>> >teach. If she thinks nothing is done, a more senior teacher- eg head
>> >of year, or head teacher (it depends on the school structure).
>>
>> But not to the alleged offender if he's one of those! And the higher up
>> the food chain the alleged offender is, the more plausible he'll make
>> his denial sound.
>
>In this case the alleged offender is one of the children so perhaps we
>could nip this major diversion of the subject in the bud?

Sorry, I had completely mis-read the question.
--
Roland Perry

[Brian Reay]

I suspect she sees that as being 'easier'. Without wanting to criticise
her, it seems she isn't up to speed on how to deal with the situation.
This is a reflection on the school, even support staff are required to
be briefed on key topics/policies as part of basic training. It is
unfair to place some in a role unprepared.



--

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[tim...]

"Harrison Hill" <harrison...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:b09a1ab1-38bc-416e...@googlegroups.com...

Why would it result in her losing her job?

The school must have a process for this, and it seems most unlikely that the
head would refuse to follow that unless (s)he is somehow involved in the
bullying, which doesn't seem the slightest bit likely based upon the story
told.

tim

[Sara Merriman]

In article <ob5auj$2q0$1...@dont-email.me>, tim...

Has the OP confirmed that his wife works in a school? He said she works
with school children, I'm not sure what else that would be but it
doesn't have to be a school.

[Roland Perry]

In message <250320171106263627%sarame...@blueyonder.co.uk>, at
11:06:26 on Sat, 25 Mar 2017, Sara Merriman
<sarame...@blueyonder.co.uk> remarked:

>Has the OP confirmed that his wife works in a school? He said she works
>with school children, I'm not sure what else that would be but it
>doesn't have to be a school.

A good question, and one I asked earlier. The OP has not (yet) replied
to it.

I'll add another:

"She has an alpha-male child" - is that her child, or someone else's?
--
Roland Perry

[Brian Reay]

True, it doesn't have to be a school but 'job' indicates it probably is.
Perhaps some kind of LSA or other support, perhaps for 'unstructured
times'- to use the buzz word, which is why I structured my advice as I did.

However, the broad thrust of the advice is the same- someone 'higher up
the food chain' should have responsibility for dealing with not only
bullying but ensuring all staff are briefed on what to do. Informing
them of a bullying issue is not a 'bad thing' to do, quite the converse-
it is a duty. It is unfair that the lady has been placed in the
'uncomfortable' position of not being sure she can report it.

I trust nothing in any of my posts is seen by the OP, or anyone else, as
being critical of the lady involved.

[Graham.]

Don't schools use external cleaning and catering contractors?

It would help if the OP gave a little more information about how his
wife interacts with these children.
--

Graham.
%Profound_observation%

[Brian Reay]

Neither are likely to come into the kind of day to day contact which
would give rise to the situation described.

Cleaners generally start after the school day and the only children
around would be in some kind of teacher supervised, or other supervised,
activity.

Catering staff are also unlikely to find themselves in such a situation.
Not being rude, think fast food place customer contact.

[Graham Murray]

Brian Reay <no...@m.com> writes:

> Catering staff are also unlikely to find themselves in such a
> situation. Not being rude, think fast food place customer contact.

What about 'Dinner Ladies'? Or do they no longer exist?

[Janet]

In article <b09a1ab1-38bc-416e...@googlegroups.com>,
harrison...@gmail.com says...

She's more likely to lose her job for failing to report repeated abuse
including potential poisoning.

> I need a practical solution.

You were told the only solution; your wife must tell the head teacher
ASAP. Before an angry parent does.


Janet.

[Roland Perry]

In message <ob6bhu$9kk$1...@dont-email.me>, at 18:08:47 on Sat, 25 Mar
2017, Brian Reay <no...@m.com> remarked:

>> Don't schools use external cleaning and catering contractors?
>
>Neither are likely to come into the kind of day to day contact which
>would give rise to the situation described.
>
>Cleaners generally start after the school day

Or just as likely, before the start of the day. That way they can deal
with the debris of after-school activities, parents' evenings, school
plays and so on.

[And so on... probably including governors meetings and sub-committees]

>and the only children around would be in some kind of teacher
>supervised, or other supervised, activity.

Adults make mess too.

>Catering staff are also unlikely to find themselves in such a
>situation.

Unless you count the lunchtime supervisors (who are now legally required
because the National Teacher's Conditions of Service don't allow them to
do such duties, a state of affairs that would almost certainly be upheld
by an employment tribunal) as "catering staff".
--
Roland Perry

[Ian Jackson]

In article <b09a1ab1-38bc-416e...@googlegroups.com>,

Harrison Hill <harrison...@gmail.com> wrote:
>On Friday, 24 March 2017 21:29:14 UTC, Peter Crosland wrote:
>> On 24/03/2017 20:07, Harrison Hill wrote:
>> > My wife works with school children.

>> > [tale of bullying]

>>
>> She should report the matter to the head teacher. If there is no
>> immediate action then report it to the gobernors.
>
>And lose her job. I need a practical solution.

You didn't contradict the assumption that your wife works in a school.
Is that right then ?

I don't understand why you (or she) think that reporting this
(according to the school's bullying policy) would cause her to lose
her job. I feel there must be some background we are missing.

I agree with the posters who say that if the school has a bullying
policy, and your wife doesn't follow it (for example, by not
preventing the abuse, or not reporting it, or whatever) your wife is
probably at serious risk of disciplinary action.


If the school has no bullying policy, or the bully is somehow
associated with or supported by the school management, then things get
much more difficult.

In such a situation your wife has the invidious choice between
becoming a whistleblower (eg by contacting Ofsted or Childline or the
school Governors or someone), and being set up as the fall bod.

There's an intermediate course of action, of simply following the
bullying policy to the letter and making a written record of
everything.

Anyway, I hope you're not in this situation. If you are I would
suggest that your wife look to change schools as soon as possible.

--
Ian Jackson <ijac...@chiark.greenend.org.uk> These opinions are my own.

If I emailed you from an address @fyvzl.net or @evade.org.uk, that is
a private address which bypasses my fierce spamfilter.