So these Bash scripts work on my localhost with zero issues:
I've used 'example', 'a-service' and 'asdf1234asdf1234' as bogus data so poke and prod away :)
Still no results, errors or anything like that.
Please help, we've thrown away Cachet for client server status awareness because of it's highly coupled nature.
I want to be a Stashboard Enthusiast :)