I agree --- I think she is ashamed for you to meet her parents. At 27, I don't
think her parents would have any issue with her 'dating', unless they have
arranged for her to be married or are currently actively looking to find her a
mate --- If this is the case, I'm sure she wouldn't want to introduce you as
her 'choice' and
she may be conflicted.
27 is considered pretty 'old' traditionally --- are you sure she isn't married
already? :)
It sounds like a pretty potentially nasty situation --- If you really love her
and want to get closer, I'd say 'hey, let me meet your folks or we're going to
have to call it quits'.
Maybe it's the 'pragmatic Asian side' of me, but I wouldn't get into that kind
of a situation with the cards kind of stacked against you!
Once again, I don't know the *whole* story - but that was my initial gut
reaction.
Teresa
arrange marriage could be a good way
\
She wants to
>still be with me but her parents dont approve of her dating. She said
>its not because I am Caucasian.
Culture what a beautiful thing:I am a male the only woman I brought in my
parents' house was my wife,culturally in my country (madagascar) woman are
not supposed to date as it would considered as "shameful".
My conclusion is :I would not like to be in your situation ...
> I am very confused & I want to do the right thing without insulting or
>hurting her or her family. I care about her alot & I only want the best
>for her. Anyone have any advice?
I think she is your best advisor concerning her culture
Hassani youssouf
john walsh <RACE...@webtv.net> wrote in message
news:28020-38...@storefull-156.iap.bryant.webtv.net...
> Im a 34 y.o. caucasian guy dating a 27 y.o. Vietnamese girl for 2
> months. We are in love & get along extremely well. I havent met her
> parents yet, she has sort of avoided this. Her parents are old fashioned
> & conservative & she said they dont approve of her dating boys. I dont
> understand all of this. This is the first Asian girl I have dated. I am
> the first guy she has ever dated. She said her parents want her to get
> married one day but how will she if she cant date anyone? She wants to
> still be with me but her parents dont approve of her dating. She said
> its not because I am Caucasian.
> I am very confused & I want to do the right thing without insulting or
> hurting her or her family. I care about her alot & I only want the best
I suppose the fact that white men have abused and raped soo many females
during the war might have a factor in you not being accepted readily.
Keep trying for a little longer. Dont lose hope too quickly.
Have you asked her point blank why you haven't met her parents yet? The
only person that can tell you why this hasn't happened and why she's
avoiding the situation is her.
>Her parents are old fashioned
> & conservative & she said they dont approve of her dating boys. I dont
> understand all of this.
It's a part of their culture, you should ask her more about this.
Usually in traditional Asian culture the man you introduce to your
parents is the man you plan to marry.
>This is the first Asian girl I have dated.
Aha! That explains why you don't know much about Asian culture. Since
she comes from a traditional background why not have a cultural chat one
of these days so you can understand it better.
>I am
> the first guy she has ever dated. She said her parents want her to get
> married one day but how will she if she cant date anyone?
It's called arranged marriage and is still quite popular. Do you know
if she has a future husband back in Vietnam...have you asked?
>She wants to
> still be with me but her parents dont approve of her dating. She said
> its not because I am Caucasian.
She's being polite dear, it is most likely because you are Caucasian.
Traditional parents favour same culture marriages and very rarely make
an exception. It may not be the entire reason but it certainly plays a
part. Have you asked her what the real reason is if it is not because
you are Caucasian?
> I am very confused & I want to do the right thing without insulting or
> hurting her or her family. I care about her alot & I only want the best
> for her. Anyone have any advice?
Yes. Try talking to her! Geesh! Certainly we can give you opinions
and such on the newsgroup but you won't know the real reasons unless you
actually get her to open up and TELL YOU!
~ Qué
--
~*~ "Through interpretation, comes appreciation, through appreciation
comes understanding, through understanding, comes protection." -Freeman
Tilden ~*~
LOL. How about all the Japanese soldiers who raped countless
asian and white women? Would her Vietnamese parents have
a problem with them? The VietCong weren't exactly innocent
parties to rape either. Your comments are regrettable to
say the least.
john walsh wrote:
> Im a 34 y.o. caucasian guy dating a 27 y.o. Vietnamese girl for 2
> months. We are in love & get along extremely well. I havent met her
> parents yet, she has sort of avoided this. Her parents are old fashioned
> & conservative & she said they dont approve of her dating boys. I dont
> understand all of this. This is the first Asian girl I have dated. I am
> the first guy she has ever dated. She said her parents want her to get
> married one day but how will she if she cant date anyone? She wants to
> still be with me but her parents dont approve of her dating. She said
> its not because I am Caucasian.
> I am very confused & I want to do the right thing without insulting or
> hurting her or her family. I care about her alot & I only want the best
how much money you got? what kind of occupation are you in?
If you are rich, there shouldn't be that much problem.
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Ying Yang <yingyan...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:igVg4.1684$pU.1...@typhoon1.gnilink.net...
Will some kind female please go out on a date with this Dicky character so
he'll leave us alone 8)
The only person around here who sounds like they need a date is you.
Ying Yang <yingyan...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:D8bh4.1875$pU.2...@typhoon1.gnilink.net...
And you.
leerh <le...@aludra.usc.edu> wrote in message
news:8657fm$pqm$1...@aludra.usc.edu...
> you're fucked
OK would it make you hapier if Tereesa had said.
"The family doesnt think they are good enough to accept a WM as a god son"
No complaints then ha.
> I am also a caucasian and married to an asian woman. Fortunately we never
> had to deal with any of these pressures from either family. I wish you
well,
> and sincerely hope everything will turn out the best for both of you...
> When the Americans finally arrived, the Chinese were amazed at how
friendly
> they were. The GIs just wanted to play with the children, flirt with the
> girls....and just make the place as pleasant as possible. That's not a
spin,
> that's a first-hand account of people who were there.
>
> My in-laws lived through this, and maybe that's why they were so ready to
> accept an American son-in-law.
>
>
"TheRuggedOne
> Initially, the Chinese were terrified when they heard these people who
could
> actually BEAT the Japanese were coming. The considered what the Japanese
> could do to them, and assumed the Americans could only do worse.
TheRuggedOne wrote:
>
> Ying Yang wrote in message ...
> >I suppose the fact that white men have abused and raped soo many females
> >during the war might have a factor in you not being accepted readily.
> >
> >Keep trying for a little longer. Dont lose hope too quickly.
> >
> Actually, Ying Yang, I know you're speaking of the Vietnamese War, but my
> in-laws tell a different story of the Americans who liberated China from the
> Japanese.
> Initially, the Chinese were terrified when they heard these people who could
> actually BEAT the Japanese were coming. The considered what the Japanese
> could do to them, and assumed the Americans could only do worse.
Chinese were not terrified of the USA because the USA for the most
part never fought in China during WWII. The Americans never liberated
China. Nor did the USA occupy china after the War. China was never
able to beat militarily the JIA during WWII but the JIA was never
able to completely destroy the ROC/CCP military forces completely
either. It was sort of a stalemate. China only regain control over
its borders when Japan unconditionally surrendered during WWII.
The USA never fought over to China to liberated it from the Japanese.
In fact, one of the main reasons for supplying the Chinese military
during WWII was keep the chinese military viable so it to pin down
the majority of JIA forces in China while the US/Allied forces island
hop towards Japan. China pinned most of the JIA forces down so the
Allied forces didnot have to fight the entire JIA force to get to
Japan close enough to bomb/invade it. US high command is very sensitive
to U.S. casualities - and didnot even want to take back the Philippines until
General McArthur intervened. However, stories that I have read and seen
show that the chinese were very grateful for the supplies that the
British and the USA sent via the Burma road and China was also grateful
for the service and protection provided by the american mercenary pilots,
the Flying Tigers. While the Flying Tigers were piloted mainly by white
american Pilots they actually were considered a special detactment of
the ROC air force and flew with Chinese markings. Most chinese never
saw the men who were the Flying Tigers ( since this flying group was
very small). There was also a small detactment of chinese-american
pilots from the Westcoast who flew for the ROC to combat the Japanese
imperial airforce as well.
TheRuggedOne wrote:
>
> "Gentlemen",
>
> I don't know who Chris is.
> I'm relaying a story told by people who were there.
> I'd assume the Chinese were generally distrustful of foreigners, after a
> long history of colonialism.
By the 1930's , China was a neo-colony of europe, the USA, and Japan
with no central court system or law enforcement. Distrust was not
just for foriegners but anyone a person didnt know. I think one of the
reasons chinese today put a high value on law and order is because
many chinese know what it means to live in a world without law and
order. It was the CCP that eventually eliminated the unequal treaties
and stop neo-colonialism in China - they unitied the country by making
foreigners the scapegoat for all of china's problems (starting with
the Opium War/British Illegal Drug Trafficking) - The CCP didnot
unite China until 1950. During neo-colonial rule - chinese had few
civil rights - while foriegners had civil protection (e.g. in
Hong Kong chinese never had full citizenship but white britishs had
full citizenship ) so chinese had to be careful when dealing with
the whites. When the PRC eventually took over Hong Kong in 1997 -
such stories finally surfaced. If you watch the move "Dragon: the
bruce lee story" this legal issue also is an important reason for
Bruce Lee leaving Hong Kong to the USA. The distrust of the past
is base on the inequalities of the past. When those inequalities
are eliminated trust can be regained.
--
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"Ying Yang" <yingyan...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:cCNm4.2751$%r3.1...@typhoon1.gnilink.net...