[MEWF] June 1, 1997, MEWF Arena, Baltimore MD, Show Report [NOT SO LONG]

[The Dark Cheetah]

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Yeah. yeah, all the usual dedications and disclaimers apply. This is the
up-against-the-wall-no-foolin'-around-folks-I'm-kinda-pressed-for-time-here
show report for the Sunday June 1st 1997 MEWF show at the MEWF Arena, aka
Teamsters Hall at 6100 Erdman Avenue, East Baltimore.

Internetters in attendance (well, at least the ones I could identify on my
own): Ray Duffy, Tom Long and Steve Pillmeier of Los Lurkers Locos; Nat
Forgotson and Bill Woodruff of the Mutants of Baltimore; Magdalena :) and
Chris Johnson down from DE; Steve Marsh (minus valet Beth); Dave "I'm an
MEWF Ring Associate, dammit" Hagan; Wetzel Drake; Michael Delss' Towson
State crew; Chris "What do you MEAN I'm writing the next MEWF report?!"
Shutters; Jeremy "Hey, it's your turn, Chris, I wrote the last fill-in
report" Billones; and... special Amdur Guest Star Bronc Wise, stopping
off on his way from Sacramento to France to take in an MEWF show. Yes,
wrestling fans are weird. :) MIA: Robster Hoffmann, with car trouble
(what else is new).

At 7:06, Al Albert, the voice of the MEWF, comes out and tells us to rip
out the beautifully artistic page of the program describing the card we
are about to see, as it's all been changed at the last minute (don't know
about the great expense part). Welcome to life in the independents! One
sad note: some of their shuffling around was due to the serious injuries
suffered by Stevie Richards at ECW shows in late June, which are going to
keep him out of action for a while. :( Get well soon, Steve.

To save time, I'm going to do most of this report in Dean Rasmussen Death
Valley Driver Video Review Headline Style. Fasten your seat belts, folks,
it's gonna be a bumpy ride...

Full house, over 500 in attendance! CAGE MATCH! AL! Rick! HOWARD!
Jeff! JEFF! Tom Kanaras! NO OTHER MSAC OFFICIALS!

MATCH 1!

CUEBALL! Bad Crew #1! OPENING MATCH! Dear God! Cueball sells a
clothesline that doesn't touch him! 2 out of three Cueball clothesline
sells can't be bad-- or can they! MEWF FANS ARE HEROICALLY STOIC!
"Is a baseball slide by Cueball an 8 ball in the corner pocket?" (Jeremy
Billones) CREW #1 WITH AN AB STRETCH INTO POWERBOMB FOR THE PIN!

MATCH 2!

JIMMY CICERO! Quinn Nash! MID-ATLANTIC TITLE! In-ring Frankensteiner by
Quinn! Double shoulder breaker by Cicero, goes to the well once too
often! Quinn flips Cicero and scrambles to a pin! SOLID MATCH! "The
only problem with this match is that it was too short." (Wetzel Drake)
"Wow, that guy [Cicero], he's ready to go places." (Bronc Wise)

MATCH 3!

JOE THUNDER! New music?! WHERE'S MY AC-DC?! KNUCKLES ZAMWICH! KZ
shaves his head now! His in-ring work is improving too! TRADITIONAL
POWER VS. POWER MATCH! Serious altitude on JT's legdrop! BOB STARR
RUN-IN! Saves JT from the full nelson, and they destroy Knux! The Bob
Starr Fan Club is in front of us; how much does he pay them? Lucifer runs
in after the DQ announcement! "blah blah blah ass blah blah blah whoop"
(Stone Cold Knuckles Zanwich). GRUDGE TAG MATCH ON FUTURE CARD! Oh joy.

MATCH 4!

PAT PATTERSON JR. Squashed by Axl Rotten! Nearly squashed by Ginger Lynn
Lucas! GINGER IN A SUIT! Hide the women and children! PAT IS DEAD
CHANT! Axl with 2 chairs, suplexes Pat into both of them! Why 2 chairs?
NEW JACK! If Pat isn't dead after _that_, he's wishing he was! DRUNKEN
WHITE GUYS DOING THE X-FIST!

MATCH 5!

DISCO INFERNO! With Royce Profit and the wrestler currently known as Earl
the Pearl [formerly Johnny Desire]! CHRIS SHUTTERS MARKS OUT! "Stevie
Richards was afraid to lose to Disco Inferno because he'd be fired from
ECW...no cage... major superstar... Stevie hit by a toilet seat... box of
wheaties..." (Disco Inferno's in-ring speech) DA BLUE GUY! The wrestler
formerly known as Earl the Pearl [currently...?]. "Look here, Potsie."
(Blue Meanie) THIS MATCH GAVE GOING TO THE WELL ONCE TOO OFTEN A WHOLE
NEW MEANING! Gran Naniwa and Super Delfin would have felt right at home
in this comedy match! NO LOOK BOOGIE ELBOW! Pumphandles! THE ONCE AND
FUTURE EARL TAKES MASSIVE ABUSE! Hot tag to Meanie! ROYCE SAVES THE DAY
WITH HIS GOLF CLUB! Or does he? Jeff Jones kicks and Earl rolls Disco
over for the pin! DISCO AND ROYCE BLAME THE FAUX PEARL! But Disco still
has the title and hugs it to himself tightly!

INTERVIEW!

CORPORAL PUNISHMENT! No face paint, b&w fatigues! "Okay, so Disco is too
pussy to get in the cage, no one else has balls enough to accept _my_ open
invitation to meet them in the cage later on." TOM KANARAS! "Corp, you
got a big head these days, running down the promotion, etc., etc." Corp:
"No one EXTREME enough." OK, LET'S OFFICIALLY RIDE ECW'S COATTAILS! Tom:
"Sounds to me like you want to talk to Axl or New Jack." New Jack: "You
rang? [Just kidding!]" New Jack for real: "Gomer, you don't know how to
wrestle... you want weapons or a cage? OKAY!" AXL AND CORP USE THE SAME
SINUS BOTTLE! Three-Way Dance in the Cage!

MATCH 6!

STEVE CORINO! More new music?! ISIS! Black vest and short shirt with a
rip in it! ADAM FLASH! Reverse senton from apron to floor by Adam! ADAM
CHASES ISIS?!?!?! Isis sells a clothesline better than Cueball! STEVE
CONTROLS THE MATCH! Corino Driver 4 (or is that 5, or 6?). Adam with the
leg drop-- but pulls him up! YOU IDIOT! Both guys on the mat, but it's
Steve's shoulders that are down and Adam gets the win! TANTRUM! So-so
but not great. Disappointing, like watching a *** Malenko-Guerrero match,
you know both guys can and have done better matches, but this wasn't their
night to shine. Maybe we threw Steve off by cheering for him... :)

MATCH 7!

LATIN LOVER JULIO SANCHEZ! Tagging with Bob Starr! With their new best
friend, Joe Thunder! EXTREMELY FISHY! I mean, Mark Shrader and Devon
Storm, current MEWF tag champs! BOB STARR DOES EVERY COWARDLY TAG TEAM
PARTNER SPOT IN THE BOOKS! Good use of take downs when Shrader or Storm
is in the ring with Sanchez, lots of mat wrestling! Released rana on
Sanchez by Storm! SANCHEZ RETALIATES WITH A SWINGING DDT OF STORM! Yes,
my life is complete now (okay, in one week it will be truly complete...

June 30th RIW, GREAT SASUKE ON MY F'N TV!

promotional considerations over with, now back to the match). Stone Cold
Stunner to a snapmare by Shrader on Sanchez, roll out, then Mark rolls up
Julio for the pin. FACES CONGRATULATE SANCHEZ ON A GOOD MATCH! Then they
leave! BIG MISTAKE! Because they have to come right back out to save
Julio from Starr and Thunder expressing their displeasure with him in
horrible ways!

MATCH 8!

TOO MANY PEOPLE IN ONE RING! Royce Profit! SAL SINCERE! Buddy Landell!
DAWN MARIE! Vs. the Headbangers! MOSH MOONS THE CROWD! ROYCE MOONS
HIM BACK! Sorry, Dave Hagan may not have that historic moment on his
handheld! FASHION REPORT! Dawn Marie is wearing a royal blue dress with
a halter top, a chain belt, and the skirt slit up the right leg! THANK
YOU! Royce simulates fellatio on Sincere! YIPES! Veteran match, but the
up-and-coming WWF Superstars Headbangers get the pin! AND THE HEADBANGERS
TURN... HAIRCUTTERS?! Royce loses both pigtails!

INTERMISSION!

Hey, remember, this is a cage match night!

MATCH 9!

CAGE! Corp out first, in just the eye black! AXL AND MARILYN MANSON!
New Jack slow rap. QUIET CROWD! Tom Kanaras: "You asked, ok, one more
person is answering your call..." ENTER SANDMAN! Corp tries to climb out
of cage! HUGE POP FOR ECW SUPERSTAR SANDMAN! All three already in the
ring look upset! Sandman has the three C's: cigarette, cane, and can!
And the red badge of ECW Courage on his forehead! WHO NEEDS TALENT! All
three beat on Corp for a while after the bell, then New Jack and Sandman
clothesline Axl, so it's officially every man for himself! NEW JACK'S
CHAIN! Porous cage, as New Jack easily gets out to get a chair! USE THE
CANE CHANT! Axl "comforted" by Ginger (don't look...). AXL BRINGS THE
STEPS INTO PLAY! Was that blood I saw, or just ketchup? Axl and New Jack
brawl down the aisle and out of sight! WHO NEEDS A CAGE! Corp takes cane
shots to the head and a chair to the face! SANDMAN LEG DROPS AND GETS THE
PIN AT 11:19 OF THE MATCH! I could have had my picture taken with Sandman
inside the cage for 5 bucks! NO THANKS!

Next MEWF show: Sunday June 29. Same MEWF place (see above), same MEWF
time (see above, give or take 6 minutes). Have a good time, folks...

[All ! used in the making of this report recycled from Dean's DVDVRs. :)]

Lee Morey, The Dark Cheetah, won't be at 6/29 but don't read anything into
it, neither will Jeff Amdur-- and don't read anything into that either! :)
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"He'd be great to buy a car with. He could kick the tires of an entire
lot's worth in about five minutes." -- IRC's MexHammer, on Chris Benoit
*****
Indy Promotions Info on the World Wide Web (who? when? where? more info?)
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