Filk: Growin' (How the Klingons Got Their Ridges Back)

[Qe'van, Bard of Nor]

Filk: Growin' (How the Klingons Got Their Ridges Back)
Tune: Rollin' (The Ballad of Big & Rich) (Big & Rich w/ Cowboy Troy)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwdOF2eIpcI
____________________

*spoken*
Ladies and Gentlemen,
I wrote this for one reason, and one reason alone:
To right a wrong of history.
I present to you...
A TRUE STORY. WITHOUT PREJUDICE!
NOW!

<8-bar Guitar/Banjo/Fiddle Intro>

*sung*
There was a time that you don't know.
Yea, the Bardics never told you so
It was a couple hundred years ago.
Why'd we hide the plain, true facts?
It was just ridges that we lacked.
Now, I tell the tale of old
Of how we got them grown', growin'.
Hey, I wanna hear everybody sing
(Growin', Growin')
At the top of your lungs 'bout the ridges thing!
(Growin', Growin')
Sing hey, Hey! HEY!

<4-bar guitar/banjo break>

There was a virus made
Injecting Human DNA
It made our ridges fade.
Well it was also meant to be
Entirely fatal to those like me
Every Klingon cease to be!
Hey, I wanna hear everybody sing
(Growin', Growin')
At the top of your lungs 'bout the ridges thing!
(Growin', Growin')
Sing hey, Hey! HEY!

<4-bar guitar break>

Woooooooooooooooooah!
Woooooooooooooooooah!
Woooooooooooooooooah!

Doctor Flox, of Denobia,
A Human Captain and four brave warriors
Cured the deadly virus, yeah!
But those lazy sons-of-a-(bad word)
Couldn't make us grow back a single ridge.
Yeah, they kinda let it slip!

Hey, I wanna hear everybody sing
(Growin', Growin')
At the top of your lungs 'bout the ridges thing!
(Growin', Growin')
Sing hey, Tribbles!

*rap*
Tum-tribble-tum, triple-tribble-tum. Dig this!
Tribbles are the reason we re-grew our ridges!
Though we nearly hunted them all to extinction
The tribble was the answer and cure of our infection!
You're lookin' at me crazy 'cause you think I'm loco
A Klingon Bard rappin' with a tribble voco.
But all of you heard about the K-7 station,
Quadrotriticale with the virus infection,
Koloth left the station with a cargo of tribbles
Beamed there by the Enterprise to cause him more troubles
It set up and started an un-conceived notion
The tricale virus set the ridges in motion!
They didn't know, we hate the pests!
They used blasters and dragons t'radicate their nests!
But the tribbles were tough, they kept breedin' up
Multiplyin' through the Empire and a spreadin' their stuff.
Everywhere the fuzzy bastards sat
In a year or three all the ridges came back!
If Cyrano had only known, the lazy hick,
He'd be rollin' in the money, big and rich!

*sung*
Cyrano, Cyrano Jones!
(Cyrano, Cyrano Jones!)
Cyrano, Cyrano Jones!
(Cyrano, Cyrano Jones!)
Hey, I wanna hear everybody sing
(Growin', Growin')
At the top of your lungs 'bout the ridges thing!
(Growin', Growin')
Sing hey, Hey! HEY!
Hey, I wanna hear everybody sing
(Growin', Growin')
At the top of your lungs 'bout the ridges thing!
(Growin', Growin')
Sing hey, Hey! HEY!
____________________

Qe'van, Bard of Nor
March, 2005

[Kay Shapero]

In article <s_idnZo5sPs5BmTJ...@giganews.com>,
ya...@qevan.com says...

>
> Filk: Growin' (How the Klingons Got Their Ridges Back)
> Tune: Rollin' (The Ballad of Big & Rich) (Big & Rich w/ Cowboy Troy)
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VwdOF2eIpcI
> ____________________

> *rap*
> Tum-tribble-tum, triple-tribble-tum. Dig this!
> Tribbles are the reason we re-grew our ridges!

Grin - always thought so. Nice filk!


--

Kay Shapero
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