Anything with a “ville”, much less a “kahuna” in the name immediately
triggers thoughts of partying 20-somethings, loud music, flashing lights,
dancing waitstaff and annoying DJs who’s microphone banter sounds eerily
similar to “Duffman” from the Simpsons. My friends, Kahunaville delivers.
This place was ridiculously cheesy. The highlight of this restaurant (if
you can call it a restaurant...er, or a highlight) was the supposed “top
ranked” bartenders manning the alcohol. These guys juggled bottles, made
penises out of bananas, kicked stuff around and lit things on fire. They
also had names like “Alcohol” Paul Ridgely and Steve “Shooter” Kibinsky.
I guess I should have been honored to be in their presence because the DJ
kept reiterating ad nauseum that they have been “featured on MTV’s [insert
mindless reality show], ESPN1 and 2” and a couple of other prestigious
entertainment broadcasts. Whatever, dude. Anyway, the meal was
suprisingly enjoyable even having to sit through the mini-Spring Break
session next to us. The saving grace was a bachlorette party of fairly
hot girls. One pretty redhead kept jumping up and down in order to get a
free shot and we just couldn’t keep our eyes off her jiggling upper body.
Anyway, Tony picked up the tab for us and we headed back to the Mirage.
I decide to give blackjack one more try. My homies Mamie and Carlos were
dealing my table again and my luck was good with them Friday nite. I ride
out the storm and manage to get up about $75. I’m ready to boost up my
bets. I move to $25 bets. I fluctuate, but hover in the red. I know
they run 5 decks and it constantly shuffles and I know I’m definitely NOT
a card counter, but with a full table, the past two hands have netted only
2 or 3 paints and no Aces. I press to $50. I’m dealt a 65 with the
dealer showing a 10. I double down thinking I’ve got a fair shot at one
of those elusive paint cards. Nope. I get a 3 and lose to her 20. I get
up.
This weekend has been horrible so far. So horrible, in fact, that it’s
time to do something to stop this madness. No longer will I subject
myself to the throws of luck. No longer will I allow entrance to that
gross “losing” feeling stirring around in my gut. That’s it! Finally,
I’ve had it! Eff this, I’m…
…I’m walking over to the ATM to get another hundred out.
I muster enough cash to buy back in to the 6/12. I’m sitting in the 1
seat next to Marcus. I didn’t see the guy with the deformed hand, but, I
definitely was feeling spicy enough to say “nice hand” at the first
opportunity. Marcus probably would have blown OJ through his nose.
Anyway, honestly, I’m playing very well – all things considered. I’m
tight and aggressive. I move on a couple of flops, although I still have
only won 2 showdowns this trip. Finally, I get QQ UTG. I raise, mid
position and the button call. Flop brings a 10,7,2. Sweet. I check
intending to check-raise. Mid position leads out, button calls, I raise
and all call. Turn pairs the 2. I lead, mid position calls and the
button folds. River is a rag. I bet, he calls and I flip over my QQ.
“Now THIS is going to be my turn around point,” I say to myself. “My
first won showdown today. I’m back, baby and you fish are all mine.”
Nope. F*ckin’ mid position player SLOW ROLLS me with KK. Aaaaaarrrrgh!
Now, what’s funny about this, is that I’ve NEVER minded a slow roll. I
didn’t see why people got so pissed about it. So what? Well, I feel for
you guys now. I completely understand and I was LIVID. I get up, cashout
my remaining $85 (see, I was somewhat disciplined) and tell Marcus I’m
going to bed. I give the slowroller the stink eye (mother f*ckin prick
bastard pot-faced cocky sh*thead…) on the way out.
I end up making my way towards the elevator but not without stopping for a
shot of tequila and a Corona at the hooker bar (Baccarat Bar) first. I
watch the ebay-like action and finally go to bed. It’s Saturday nite in
Vegas and I’m asleep by 11:30pm. For the weekend I won 2 showdowns and
was 0 for 9 on flush draws. I was able to sustain my hours by moving on
flops and winning a handful of turn pots.
Morning comes around and the only interesting thing to note is that Cass
turned his last $75 into $685 at the 3/6 that nite. Evidently he had
built a chip factory at his table 40 high, 4 deep, and 4 across with two
big stacks of reds as the smoke stacks. I wish he would’ve taken a
picture.
Oh yeah, while catching an early morning swim Sunday in the pool, I
noticed the slow roller from the night before. I plunked him and his wife
with a big can-opener and snickered to myself as I swam away. Take that
you bastard.
Whiffleboy
_________________________________________________________________
Posted using RecPoker.com - http://www.recpoker.com
I've always found the hooker bars to be entertaining.
Zwierdo
So it was YOU who beaned me! I'm going to sue, now that I know it was you!
La Ciclon
"Whiffleboy" <anon...@weho.org> wrote in message
news:3ede40b6$0$36730$9a6e...@news.newshosting.com...
<*snip*>
Now where is this baccarat bar again?
Acesover
"Whiffleboy" <anon...@weho.org> wrote in message
news:3ede40b6$0$36730$9a6e...@news.newshosting.com...
> I've had it! Eff this, I'm.
>
> .I'm walking over to the ATM to get another hundred out.
>
> I muster enough cash to buy back in to the 6/12. I'm sitting in the 1
> seat next to Marcus. I didn't see the guy with the deformed hand, but, I
> definitely was feeling spicy enough to say "nice hand" at the first
> opportunity. Marcus probably would have blown OJ through his nose.
> Anyway, honestly, I'm playing very well - all things considered. I'm
> tight and aggressive. I move on a couple of flops, although I still have
> only won 2 showdowns this trip. Finally, I get QQ UTG. I raise, mid
> position and the button call. Flop brings a 10,7,2. Sweet. I check
> intending to check-raise. Mid position leads out, button calls, I raise
> and all call. Turn pairs the 2. I lead, mid position calls and the
> button folds. River is a rag. I bet, he calls and I flip over my QQ.
> "Now THIS is going to be my turn around point," I say to myself. "My
> first won showdown today. I'm back, baby and you fish are all mine."
> Nope. F*ckin' mid position player SLOW ROLLS me with KK. Aaaaaarrrrgh!
> Now, what's funny about this, is that I've NEVER minded a slow roll. I
> didn't see why people got so pissed about it. So what? Well, I feel for
> you guys now. I completely understand and I was LIVID. I get up, cashout
> my remaining $85 (see, I was somewhat disciplined) and tell Marcus I'm
> going to bed. I give the slowroller the stink eye (mother f*ckin prick
> bastard pot-faced cocky sh*thead.) on the way out.
I went to Vegas for the weekend TO GAMBLE. That was the whole purpose. I
would go to a bar to drink and would probably drink the whole time I was
there. However, it doesn't mean I'm addicted to alcohol.
Maui's paid for, btw - almost 1/2 through poker money. Sad.
Whiffleboy
> Nah, I'm not addicted. I just really, really, like to play. :-)
Sitting at a 3-6 game in town, and a story of this other guy comes up. He
called GA (Gamblers Anonymous) from the table, and in the middle of trying
to get a one on one consulting appointment says raise (he was raising).
The person on the other end of the phone realized he had a really, really
bad problem. He won the hand though.
Pli
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter Lizak
pli...@math.uwaterloo.ca
Scientific Computing Lab, University of Waterloo
Whiffleboy wrote:
> I've had it! Eff this, I'm...
>
> ...I'm walking over to the ATM to get another hundred out.
>
> I muster enough cash to buy back in to the 6/12. I'm sitting in the 1
> seat next to Marcus. I didn't see the guy with the deformed hand, but, I
> definitely was feeling spicy enough to say "nice hand" at the first
> opportunity. Marcus probably would have blown OJ through his nose.
> Anyway, honestly, I'm playing very well - all things considered. I'm
> tight and aggressive. I move on a couple of flops, although I still have
> only won 2 showdowns this trip. Finally, I get QQ UTG. I raise, mid
> position and the button call. Flop brings a 10,7,2. Sweet. I check
> intending to check-raise. Mid position leads out, button calls, I raise
> and all call. Turn pairs the 2. I lead, mid position calls and the
> button folds. River is a rag. I bet, he calls and I flip over my QQ.
> "Now THIS is going to be my turn around point," I say to myself. "My
> first won showdown today. I'm back, baby and you fish are all mine."
> Nope. F*ckin' mid position player SLOW ROLLS me with KK. Aaaaaarrrrgh!
> Now, what's funny about this, is that I've NEVER minded a slow roll. I
> didn't see why people got so pissed about it. So what? Well, I feel for
> you guys now. I completely understand and I was LIVID. I get up, cashout
> my remaining $85 (see, I was somewhat disciplined) and tell Marcus I'm
> going to bed. I give the slowroller the stink eye (mother f*ckin prick
> bastard pot-faced cocky sh*thead...) on the way out.