Some of you have good sigs that I may steal. Or, you could send me
some one-liners.
The artist name is Nick Black, my real name is Michael Bulka, the
gallery sponsoring this deal is Joymore, I think at joymore.org. if
you need to verify anything.
The church is near, but the road is icy. The tavern is far, but I
will walk carefully.
OB Food - I was careful at the farmers' market today, bought just a
handful of weeds - dill, mint, cilantro, something the girl said was
"sorta like bok choy, but not really". Nothing at all like that, but
it will still be salad tonight. Waiting for my own weeds to come in.
B
>Some of you have good sigs that I may steal. Or, you could send me
>some one-liners.
Here's good site to borrow sayings from
http://www.cowboyway.com/CowboyQuotes.htm
--
I love cooking with wine.
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
Yes, thank you. Yours is one of the first I planned on taking. Along
with other favorites that I don't remember who to credit:
Do you want to measure or do you want to cook?
What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it is all about?
When I get my page or two together for my buddy I'll post it here.
Feel free to ignore it. Many years ago I was an art critic. I
contributed a piece to an art show where people were invited to take
home whatever they wanted. Mine was bologna sandwiches with laminated
Oscar Wilde bits. This thing might be similar.
B
B
Here's a few to offend almost anyone!
"We're all crazy, but just some of us have diagnoses." [mine]
"Somedays you're the pigeon. Some days you're the statue."
Jewish History in nine words: "They tried to kill us. We won. Let's
eat."
"Ginger Rogers. She could do everything Fred Astaire could do
. . . backwards in high heels."
"Jesus called. He wants his religion back."
"Prayer is politically correct schizophrenia."
"Schadenfreude is the only true joy."
"Clap louder . . . Tinkerbell is dying."
:-)
Apologies to all,
Lynn in Fargo
You could change my old sig (below)* to this:
For your safety and protection, this fortune has
been thoroughly tested on laboratory animals.
* "For your safety and protection, this sig. file has
been thoroughly tested on laboratory animals."
>
> B
--Bryan
>Here's a few to offend almost anyone!
Jesus is Coming!!! Look busy.
YOU are someone special...just like everyone else.
Arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics....you
might win but you are still retarded.
Rehab is for quitters.
How's that HOPE and CHANGE working for you?
Boy, if that isn't the truth. That why my wife is the primary baker
and I'm the cook.
>
> What if the Hokey Pokey really is what it is all about?
That's something that I'm sure many thousands of people independently
thought up w/o ever having heard it elsewhere. I pushed Hokeypokeyism
back in high school, 1976, along with another fake religion, Smiling
Fishreligion. The advantages of both are clear. Neither requires
that you screw up your weekend by sticking a Sunday morning or
Saturday evening service into the middle of it. Neither has any kind
of moral code, so you don't have to have your fun constrained by
guilt. The advantage to Smiling Fishreligion is that all you had to
do was wear Smiling Fish pins, t-shirts, whatever, and you would be
instantly recognized by other Smiling Fishreligion adherents as being
someone unconstrained by archaic moral codes, but the advantage to ME
was that unlike Hokeypokeyism--which is based on a well known dance,
and hence, untrademarkable--Smiling Fishreligion could be trademarked,
and I could benefit monetarily from the sale of the Smiling Fish
regalia.
Yes, I've been crazy for several decades. I bet Mr. Kuthe remembers
Smiling Fish. We met in summer school after my 9th grade (his 10th
grade).
>
> B
--Bryan
Here's one of my originals:
Rock'n Roll is about throwing the mainstream
culture's ideas of morality and standards of behavior in the dumpster.
In short, Rock'n Roll is lascivious, blasphemous, arrogant and
downright
sleazy. It is fantastic, escapist. Any rock that doesn't fit the
above
description is not Rock'n Roll. It is merely "rock music."
I used to follow with the discaimer:
"For your safety and protection, this sig. file has
been thoroughly tested on laboratory animals "
>
> Michael
>
--Bryan
> A friend has asked me to contibute to an art project next weekend. My
> part - slogans, proverbs, aphorisms and such, to be "fortunes" in a
> bunch of ping pong balls in one of his ridiculous, brilliant
> installations. This time, Skrill Party, or something like that, at
> the Hyde Park Art Center in Chicago.
>
> Some of you have good sigs that I may steal. Or, you could send me
> some one-liners.
>
Some of my favourites..........
ACHTUNG! ALLES LOOKENSPEEPERS! Das computermachine ist nicht fuer
gefingerpoken und mittengrabben. Ist easy schnappen der springenwerk,
blowenfusen und poppencorken mit spitzensparken. Ist nicht fuer gewerken
bei das dumpkopfen. Das rubbernecken sichtseeren keepen das cotten-
pickenen hans in das pockets muss; relaxen und watchen das
blinkenlichten
If we are not meant to eat animals,
why are they made of meat?
"Life is not like a box of chocolates... it's more like a jar of
jalapenos. What you do today... might burn your ass tomorrow."
At this spectacle even the most gentle must feel savage, and the most
savage must weep.
Turkish Officer
400 Plateau
24May1915
The Gunfighters Rule:
"Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one. Be polite.
Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet."
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
And planned to do some kissing.
Jack made a pass
and grabbed her ass
Now two of his teeth are missing.
Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body,
but rather to skid in broadside, a glass of red in one hand,
thoroughly used up,totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming...
"WOW! What a ride!"
Mary had a little lamb
her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her
between two chunks of bread.
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up its arse
and turned its wool to nylon.
"People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it is safer
to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs."
Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the pie man
'What have u got there?'
Said the pie man unto Simon
Pies you dickhead.
I was having dinner with my boss and his wife and she said to me, "How
many potatoes would you like Peter?". I said "Ooh, I'll just have one
please". She said "It's OK, you don't have to be polite" "Alright" I
said "I'll just have one then, you stupid cow".
You will travel through the valley of rejection;
you will reside in the land of morning mists...and you will find your
home,
though it will not be where you left it.
--
Peter Lucas
Brisbane
Australia
"As viscous as motor oil swirled in a swamp, redolent of burnt bell
peppers nested in by incontinent mice and a finish reminiscent of the
dregs of a stale can of Coca-Cola that someone has been using as an
ashtray. Not a bad drink, though."
Excerpt from "The Moose Turd Wine Tasting" by T. A. Nonymous
if so, you're the dullest crazy person i've ever seen.
blake
> "People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it is safer
> to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs."
I like this one. ;-)
--
Peace! Om
Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain.
-- Anon.
recfood...@yahoogroups.com
Subscribe: recfoodrecip...@yahoogroups.com
> PeterL wrote:
>
>> "People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it is
>> safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs."
>
> I like this one. ;-)
You mean to tell me that you have *no* rich women riding around in gangs
on motorcycles where you live? How odd.
(Not that I'm callin' you a liar, or anything...)
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy
--
Besides, I'm blessed with a palate that can barely distinguish between
tap water and bottled.
-- evergene, ba.food, 4/1/09
--
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of
arriving safely, in an attractive and well-preserved body. Rather one
should skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out while screaming 'WOO HOO!
What a ride!'"
-- Anonymous
---
The 56k modem teaches us patience, humility, and the love of quiet
contemplation, grasshopper.
-- Kylie, AM Nov. '02
---
Arguing with engineers is like mud-wrestling with pigs. Sooner or
later you realize that they like it.
-- Author Unknown
---
I can't wait 'til I'm a teenager! Then you won't be able to order me
around!"
Alpha Ranger, 1234:55, 11/30/02
---
"It often amazes me at the complexity a simply-worded e-mail can
convey to so many different people. And yet, so many people willingly
complain that e-mail is an imperfect tool for communicating those same
simple ideals."
-- Steve Williams, twinslist, 2/2/94
---
"We're decaf drinkers, and most restaurant decaf is like hot water
with a brown crayon dipped in it. This coffee was no different."
-- Tim Dietz, sdnet.eats, 1140, 6/3/03
---
"Humor is genetic. If you can't laugh at your family, then you can't
laugh at other people."
-- Elaine Boozler
---
"Grits are akin to Elmer's Paste with less flavor and more sand."
---
"If you can't ignore an insult, top it; if you can't top it, laugh it
off; if you can't laugh it off, it's probably deserved."
-- Frederick Douglass
---
"The Irish believe wiff a most-'oly furor that eatin' food shoul' be a
test of courage. If we can't boil it t' deff, fry it in a vat o'
grease, or stuff it in an animal intestine, we're posit've it
shouldn't be eaten."
-- John Woolery, London Underground, 1992
---
"A weak mind is like a microscope, which magnifies trifling things but
cannot receive great ones."
-- Lord Chesterfield
---
"You do know why Nyquil ads show people already in bed? You drink two
oz. and [BOOM!] your eyes roll back in your head putting you in an 10-
hour coma, all while instantly dissolving your internal bone
structure. The first time I took it was at a friend's party. I deboned
myself right there on his floor, blissfully squashing seven guests."
Bill Hastings, 1996
---
"Always chant, 'Protect me from myself' when you find yourself doing
something as brain-dead as you've just done."
-- Michele Granger, SrSysad, 8/1/94
---
It was a painful (emotional and physical) Life Experience(tm) that I
don't recommend anyone try. The Gahdz have a cruel sense of humor for
those with blond hair and fair skin foolish enough to play with fire.
---
"A pun is a pistol discharged in one's ear."
---
"All Scottish cooking is based on a dare"
Mike Meyers
---
"Fell deeds awake: Fire and slaughter! Spear shall be shaken, shield
shall be splintered, a sword-day, a red day, ere the sun rises!"
-- Theoden King, Return of the King
> Some of you have good sigs that I may steal. Or, you could send me
> some one-liners.
I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump
up and down and run around yelling and screaming...They don't know I'm only
using blanks.
-- Emo Phillips
In retrospect, we decided that the nuclear winter was not so bad, but that
we had not really enjoyed the brief but intense nuclear summer that had
preceded it.
-- Richard Patching
In these uncertain times, one must think of others' viewpoints and always
remember that a crowded elevator smells different to a midget.
-- Randy Irwin, Winter Park, Florida
The majority of the stupid is invincible and guaranteed for all time. The
terror of their tyranny, however, is alleviated by their lack of
consistency.
-- Albert Einstein
Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop
thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do
we.
-- George W. Bush
People sleep safely in their beds because rough men stand ready in
the night to do violence to those who would do them harm.
-- George Orwell
A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature
replaces it with.
-- Tennessee Williams
We who are liberal and progressive know that the poor are our equals in
every sense except that of being equal to us.
-- Lionel Trilling
I sit on a man's back, choking him, and making him carry me, and yet assure
myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by
any means possible, except getting off his back.
-- Leo Tolstoy, on liberal politicians
What makes equality such a difficult business is that we only want it with
our superiors.
-- Henry Becque
a politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man.
-- e. e. cummings
Bob
> On Sun, 14 Jun 2009 10:16:19 -0700 (PDT), bulka wrote:
>
>> A friend has asked me to contibute to an art project next weekend.
>> My part - slogans, proverbs, aphorisms and such, to be "fortunes" in
>> a bunch of ping pong balls in one of his ridiculous, brilliant
>> installations. This time, Skrill Party, or something like that, at
>> the Hyde Park Art Center in Chicago.
>>
>> Some of you have good sigs that I may steal. Or, you could send me
>> some one-liners.
>
> On a related note, I was looking to create a line of pre-graffiti'd
> toilet partitions. Slogans/sayings should not be crude but should
> be considered for the 18+ crowd.
>
> Things like: "They paint these walls to stop my pen, but the
> shithouse poet has struck again".
"A chy - uld is CRYING...!!!"
*Honestly*, Steve....
--
Best
Greg
--Bryan
> In article <Xns9C2B6E0B8731DP...@210.8.230.25>,
> PeterL <P...@brissie.aus> wrote:
>
>> "People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it is
>> safer to harrass rich women than motorcycle gangs."
>
> I like this one. ;-)
Too true, too :-)
I love to see some animal libber throw red paint over a leather wearing biker
:-)
Oh! I just noticed yours, which *I* like, and which is more
subtle than similar ones I have seen. I have to paste it back in:
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass.
It's about learning to dance in the rain."
-- Anon.
--
Jean B.
I was only kidding <g> Couple of (motor) bike clubs 'round here too.
Usually a nice bunch of folks, both men and women...
--
Cheers
Chatty Cathy
We refer to the Harley owners as Rolex Riders.
Becca
dope has nothing to do with it.
blake
> The church is near, but the road is icy. The tavern is far, but I
> will walk carefully.
>
"It doesn't do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you
live near him." J.R.R. Tolkien
"We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and
clap as they go by." Will Rogers
"If chaos doesn't reign, it certainly has a working
majority." (unknown)
"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a
horrible warning." Catherine Aird
"To be loved is fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve
distinction." Minna Antrim
N.
My favorite Minna Antrim liner is, ""Don't take acquaintances into
your confidence. Some very pleasant young persons are good listeners
but more talented as gossips."
Truer words were never written.
The Ranger
>Becca <be...@hal-pc.org> news:79pqpaF...@mid.individual.net: in
>rec.food.cooking
>ROFL... I'll have to remember, and use, that phrase ;)
>
>Michael
I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it.
or
FOLLOW YOUR DREAMS! Except that one where you're naked in church.
or
Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken.
or
Heaven is Where:
The Police are British,
The Chefs are Italian,
The Mechanics are German,
The Lovers are French and
It's all organized by the Swiss.
Hell is Where:
The Police are German,
The Chefs are British,
The Mechanics are French,
The Lovers are Swiss and
It's all organized by the Italians.
or
My short-term memory is not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my short-term memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
or
Welcome to Utah Set your watch back 20 years.
or
In just two days from now, tomorrow will be yesterday.
or
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
or
The statement below is true.
The statement above is false.
or
KENTUCKY:
Five million people,
Fifteen last names.
or
I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable
or
I LOVE COOKING WITH WINE
Sometimes I even put it in the food.
or
When you work here, you can name your own salary.
I named mine, "Fred".
or
Money isn't everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch
or
I like cats too. Let's exchange recipes.
or
Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.
or
I am having an out-of-money experience.
or
Don't sweat the petty things.
Don't pet the sweaty things.
or
I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,
not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.
Incidentally, do you find that today's young people (30 yo and
younger) don't know how to keep a secret? It's very disconcerting.
It doesn't matter if it's a surprise event, a birthday present, a
coming event, or whatever. It doesn't matter if they're 30 or 13.
Nobody knows how to keep their mouth shut! I finally learned not to
tell anybody anything.
N.
Yes but it's also that way with many in my age demographic. I'm not sure if
it's the Paul "Crocodile Dundee" Hogan philosophy, "You tell Wally, he tells
everyone in the village, and there ya go; no more secrets." or simply what
they're exposed to in everyday media. You can find out virtually anything
and everything, if you're clever, so there really are "No more secrets."
The Ranger
>I finally learned not to tell anybody anything.
What you really learned is "It's not a secret anymore if you tell
someone else". It's not their responsibility to keep anything a
secret, it's yours. I've found that the best way to pass information
is to tell it to someone "in confidence". It's spreads like wildfire.
--
I love cooking with wine.
>On Wed, 17 Jun 2009 09:30:06 -0700 (PDT), Nancy2
><nancy-...@uiowa.edu> wrote:
>
>>I finally learned not to tell anybody anything.
>
>What you really learned is "It's not a secret anymore if you tell
>someone else". It's not their responsibility to keep anything a
>secret, it's yours. I've found that the best way to pass information
>is to tell it to someone "in confidence". It's spreads like wildfire.
Still want some sigs?
I'm not the OP.
> Incidentally, do you find that today's young people (30 yo and
> younger) don't know how to keep a secret? It's very disconcerting.
> It doesn't matter if it's a surprise event, a birthday present, a
> coming event, or whatever. It doesn't matter if they're 30 or 13.
> Nobody knows how to keep their mouth shut! I finally learned not to
> tell anybody anything.
>
> N.
I hope my tombstone says "She had a few secrets!"
I relish keeping secrets :)
it's true. this is the major flaw i find with conspiracy theorists - they
assume that large numbers of people are keeping their mouths shut. it
seems unlikely.
your pal,
deep blake
>Incidentally, do you find that today's young people (30 yo and
>younger) don't know how to keep a secret? It's very disconcerting.
>It doesn't matter if it's a surprise event, a birthday present, a
>coming event, or whatever. It doesn't matter if they're 30 or 13.
>Nobody knows how to keep their mouth shut! I finally learned not to
>tell anybody anything.
We have a casual friend of whom I once said, his idea of a secret was
to tell one person at a time.
Terry "Squeaks" Pulliam Burd
--
"If the soup had been as hot as the claret, if the claret had been as
old as the bird, and if the bird's breasts had been as full as the
waitress's, it would have been a very good dinner."
- Duncan Hines
To reply, replace "meatloaf" with "cox"