Andre Jute Great Lie From The Past - 3 June
Antitroll
little road near Butlerstown on the coast, I got to the head of the
line and hit a monstrous bump in the middle of the road for which they
had clearly been slowing down. My bike and I went flying over a short
blind dip in the road, in which a tractor was approaching us. Just
brushing the wheels across the roof of the tractor, I landed with a
bang on the far side, fortunately already up on the pedals, crunched
nothing and was gone down the next hill. A couple of years later the
tractor driver's wife ran into me in the library and told me he had
nightmares about the flying cyclist for a fortnight, then started
doubting he'd really seen me, it happened so quickly."
Yep, musta been some bump. Did you know that besides being a flannel merchant
Jute is also a witchdoctor? Below is the first instalment of how this came to
pass.
"..had connections to the Zulu, for instance I had gone through their
manhood rites. I'm a blood brother of several of their current leaders.
So, when some British eejit (South Africans were never insular; my
university, the birthplace of apartheid, had an official policy of
hiring teachers from around the world) suggested we should study native
medicine, some other ignoramuses confused it with homeopathy. I knew
better. I suggested, with a barely straight face, that I should
apprentice to a Zulu witchdoctor. While those who'd been in-country
longest laughed with hands in front of their mouths at my joke, the
well-meaning ignorant applauded loudly. So, fortified by a fat
scholarship (I bought an Austin-Healey 3000 Mk III *and* made an entire
feature film called Visitante out of it!), I went off to play polo in
Zululand."
Tune in for the next instalment on Sunday.
P.S. Don't bother looking for Cecil B DeJute's feature film in any of the
standard film references. It's not there and neither is Andre Jute/Andrew McCoy
as a film-maker in any capacity. Wotta surprise.
bicycle...@ozarkbicycleservice.com
again pollutes RBT with his simple-minded trolling!
On Jun 3, 4:40 am, Peter Howard, aka,"Antitroll" <wa...@nevermind.com>
trolled:
Jim Rogers
> Hypocritically posting under the "Antitroll" alias, Peter Howard once
> again pollutes RBT with his simple-minded trolling!
And it was awesome! I love the AJGLFTP-- can't wait for Sunday's
installment!
--Jim
andre...@aol.com
Yeah, I enjoy reading the weekly postings too.
landotter
wrote:
> On Wed, 3 Jun 2009 07:32:27 -0700 (PDT), "andresm...@aol.com"
> MacGyver, and Jerry (of Tom and Jerry) all rolled into one!
+Walter Mitty.
RonSonic
wrote:
>Hypocritically posting under the "Antitroll" alias, Peter Howard once
>again pollutes RBT with his simple-minded trolling!
With material this good, how could he resist. You may call it trolling, I call
it keeping a modern literary tradition alive. The American frontier had Paul
Bunyan, the internets has Andre Jute. No Chuck Norris fact could compare.
bicycle...@ozarkbicycleservice.com
> On Wed, 3 Jun 2009 05:50:41 -0700 (PDT), bicycleatel...@ozarkbicycleservice.com
> wrote:
>
> >Hypocritically posting under the "Antitroll" alias, Peter Howard once
> >again pollutes RBT with his simple-minded trolling!
>
> With material this good, how could he resist. You may call it trolling, I call
> it
Call it what you will; shite by any other name smells as foul.
"You can't polish a turd" - Stephen King
[...]
Andre Jute
> The American frontier had Paul
> Bunyan, the internets has Andre Jute. No Chuck Norris fact could compare.
You think I should send these useless little stalkers each a pair of
soiled underpants to sniff, eh, Ronni?
Andre Jute
When I stop smiling, someone always gets hurt. Funny thing is, it's
never me.
Andrew Price
<land...@gmail.com> wrote:
>> Add me in too. It's like reading about a guy who combines Dirk Pitt,
>> MacGyver, and Jerry (of Tom and Jerry) all rolled into one!
>
>+Walter Mitty.
And "Johnny English" (Rowan Atkinson)
Antitroll
"Andrew Price" <ajp...@free.fr> wrote in message
news:4und255s21b1rvrps...@4ax.com...
Ah yes, Johnny English. "He knows no fear, he knows no danger, he knows
nothing".
A perfect fit.
PH
Jim Rogers
> Andre Jute
> When I stop smiling, someone always gets hurt. Funny thing is, it's
> never me.
Perfect! Just... Perfect!
--Jim
RonSonic
>On Jun 3, 7:04�pm, RonSonic <ronso...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote:
>> On Wed, 3 Jun 2009 05:50:41 -0700 (PDT), bicycleatel...@ozarkbicycleservice.com
>> wrote:
>
>> The American frontier had Paul
>> Bunyan, the internets has Andre Jute. No Chuck Norris fact could compare.
>
>You think I should send these useless little stalkers each a pair of
>soiled underpants to sniff, eh, Ronni?
Soiling yourself, again? You should stop dwelling on those action man fantasies
late at night.
>Andre Jute
>When I stop smiling, someone always gets hurt. Funny thing is, it's
>never me.
Yeah, whatever.
You tell tall tales. The response to that is predictable. Everything after that
is up to you.
Andre Jute
Isn't it just. I liked it so much when someone first said it about me,
nearly fifty years ago, that I adopted it. -- AJ
Andre Jute
Oh, I don't think anything is required from me. Anyway, I'm laughing
too hard at a bunch of pompous jerkoffs trying to gangrape my ankles
to do anything effective. Instead I'm drinking 75 year-port and
listening to Jacques Brel through my electrostatic headphones powered
by a tube amp I designed especially for driving my Stax at a higher
than standard voltage, and editing a stunning manuscript from my
protege (a passage in her novel reminded me of Jacques Brel so I dug
out my Brel discs), and in the corner of my screen watching the hard
cases go around the Triangle on the NW200 link I sent earlier.
Andre Jute
Visit Jute on Amps at
http://www.audio-talk.co.uk/fiultra/
"wonderfully well written and reasoned information for the tube audio
constructor"
John Broskie TubeCAD & GlassWare
"an unbelievably comprehensive web site containing vital gems of
wisdom"
Stuart Perry Hi-Fi News & Record Review
D'ohBoy
I must say, you are a precious one!
Keep up the good work.
D'ohBoy
Michael Press
RonSonic <rons...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote:
> On Wed, 3 Jun 2009 05:50:41 -0700 (PDT), bicycle...@ozarkbicycleservice.com
> wrote:
>
> >Hypocritically posting under the "Antitroll" alias, Peter Howard once
> >again pollutes RBT with his simple-minded trolling!
>
> With material this good, how could he resist. You may call it trolling, I call
> it keeping a modern literary tradition alive. The American frontier had Paul
> Bunyan, the internets has Andre Jute. No Chuck Norris fact could compare.
Careful there! Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
--
Michael Press
Jim Rogers
> Careful there! Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in three moves.
But Andre Jute invented Connect Four. So when Andre plays the game, he
just calls Chuck Norris ahead of time to have him clear out the other
player's pieces so he can Connect Four without all the hassle.
Then he kicks Chuck's ass, just to be sure he knows his place-- Chuck
will not be uppity again.
--Jim
Michael Press
<e77b2ae9-f3d6-45fa...@w40g2000yqd.googlegroups.com>,
bicycle...@ozarkbicycleservice.com wrote:
Stephen King did not coin that coin that phrase.
--
Michael Press
Michael Press
<af5cc5f8-8347-4361...@f10g2000vbf.googlegroups.com>,
Andre Jute <fiul...@yahoo.com> wrote:
Who is Jacques Brel?
--
Michael Press
Andrew Price
wrote:
>Who is Jacques Brel?
Just ask any Belgian.
jobst....@stanfordalumni.org
> Who is Jacques Brel?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jacques_Brel
# Jacques Romain Georges Brel (pronounced [ʒak bʀɛl] in French) (8
# April 1929 – 9 October 1978) was a Belgian singer-songwriter. The
# quality and style of his lyrics are highly regarded by many leading
# critics of popular music.
# Brel's songs are not especially well known in the English-speaking
# world except in translation and through the interpretations of other
# singers, most famously Scott Walker and Judy Collins. Others who
# have sung his work in English include Marc Almond, Dave Van Ronk,
# Alex Harvey, David Bowie, Spencer Moody, Barb Jungr, Dusty
# Springfield, Ray Charles, The Dresden Dolls, Frank Sinatra, Terry
# Jacks, Nina Simone, Rod McKuen, The Kingston Trio, Gavin Friday,
# Jack Lukeman, Dax Riggs and Beirut. In French-speaking countries,
# Brel is also remembered as an actor and director. Jacques Brel has
# sold over 25 million records worldwide, including over 12 million
# albums and singles in France and Belgium[1].
Cigarettes did him in.
Jobst Brandt
bicycle...@ozarkbicycleservice.com
> In article
> <e77b2ae9-f3d6-45fa-8ee3-ec1e0eccf...@w40g2000yqd.googlegroups.com>,
>
> bicycleatel...@ozarkbicycleservice.com wrote:
> > On Jun 3, 1:04 pm, RonSonic <ronso...@tampabay.rr.com> wrote:
> > > On Wed, 3 Jun 2009 05:50:41 -0700 (PDT), bicycleatel...@ozarkbicycleservice.com
> > > wrote:
>
> > > >Hypocritically posting under the "Antitroll" alias, Peter Howard once
> > > >again pollutes RBT with his simple-minded trolling!
>
> > > With material this good, how could he resist. You may call it trolling, I call
> > > it
>
> > Call it what you will; shite by any other name smells as foul.
>
> > "You can't polish a turd" - Stephen King
>
> Stephen King did not coin that coin that phrase.
>
>
But he did bring it to a much wider audience, eh?
AMuzi
'alive and well and living in Paris' as I recall.
--
Andrew Muzi
<www.yellowjersey.org/>
Open every day since 1 April, 1971
jobst....@stanfordalumni.org
>> Who is Jacques Brel?
> 'alive and well and living in Paris' as I recall.
That's a great line and one from his famous show.
Jobst Brandt
Sandy
jobst....@stanfordalumni.org <jobst....@stanfordalumni.org> a
r�fl�chi, et puis a d�clar� :
Not HIS show, actually. He would have had trouble appearing at the time.
He was dead.
Don't let a small fact get in your way.
--
Bonne route !
Sandy
Verneuil-sur-Seine FR
Michael Press
<fab6c440-d30d-4773...@3g2000yqk.googlegroups.com>,
bicycle...@ozarkbicycleservice.com wrote:
And that was unnecessary, unwanted, and lazy.
Writer's make up there own epigrams
--
Michael Press
Andrew Price
>Not HIS show, actually. He would have had trouble appearing at the time.
>He was dead.
>Don't let a small fact get in your way.
Jobst knows that - he wrote in a previous post "cigarettes did him
in".
They sure did. I don't think I ever saw a photo of Brel without a
cigarette in his mouth.
Bill Sornson
> Writer's make up there own epigrams
Writers (no apostrophe) make up THEIR own... HTH
BS
Sandy
Andrew Price <ajp...@free.fr> a r�fl�chi, et puis a d�clar� :
> On Sat, 6 Jun 2009 14:38:18 -0500, "Sandy" <leu...@free.fr> wrote:
>
>> Not HIS show, actually. He would have had trouble appearing at the
>> time. He was dead.
>> Don't let a small fact get in your way.
>
> Jobst knows that - he wrote in a previous post "cigarettes did him
> in".
Did he write that? No, he spoke of "his" [Brel's] show, which it was not.
Timing is everything, especially using proper tenses to express thoughts.
>
> They sure did. I don't think I ever saw a photo of Brel without a
> cigarette in his mouth.
I don't think this fact diminishes what he brought to the world.
--
Sandy
Verneuil-sur-Seine FR
"Le Vin est la plus saine et la plus hygi�nique des boissons."
- Louis Pasteur
Michael Press
Michael Press <rub...@pacbell.net> wrote:
> In article
> <af5cc5f8-8347-4361...@f10g2000vbf.googlegroups.com>,
> Andre Jute <fiul...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
Apologies to all who answered the question seriously,
as it was a rhetorical question aimed at Andre Jute.
--
Michael Press
RonSonic
>Dans le message de news:ohql25t85r6nkpge4...@4ax.com,
>Andrew Price <ajp...@free.fr> a r�fl�chi, et puis a d�clar� :
>> On Sat, 6 Jun 2009 14:38:18 -0500, "Sandy" <leu...@free.fr> wrote:
>>
>>> Not HIS show, actually. He would have had trouble appearing at the
>>> time. He was dead.
>>> Don't let a small fact get in your way.
>>
>> Jobst knows that - he wrote in a previous post "cigarettes did him
>> in".
>
>Did he write that? No, he spoke of "his" [Brel's] show, which it was not.
>Timing is everything, especially using proper tenses to express thoughts.
>>
>> They sure did. I don't think I ever saw a photo of Brel without a
>> cigarette in his mouth.
>
>I don't think this fact diminishes what he brought to the world.
No, but you don't live in the US where smokers are the one remaining class of
people it is permissible for good people to despise.
Bill Sornson
But...but...BARACK SMOKES!!!
Chalo
>
> RonSonic wrote:
> >
> > Sandy wrote:
> >>
> >> Andrew Price a réfléchi, et puis a déclaré :
> >>>
> >>> They sure did. I don't think I ever saw a photo of Brel without a
> >>> cigarette in his mouth.
> >>
> >> I don't think this fact diminishes what he brought to the world.
> >
> > No, but you don't live in the US where smokers are the one remaining
> > class of people it is permissible for good people to despise.
>
> But...but...BARACK SMOKES!!!
That's because he's basically French. Didn't Herr Newt tell you? It
accounts for the savoir faire and bon goût of his administration.
Chalo
RonSonic
But it will be photoshopped out like FDR's has been.
One of the few things that has given me any sympathy for the shmuck is when we
found out he'd resorted to mooching from aides and press.
Bill Sornson
> On Sun, 7 Jun 2009 00:21:10 -0700, "Bill Sornson" <so...@noyb.com>
> wrote:
>
>> RonSonic wrote:
>>> ...you don't live in the US where smokers are the one remaining
>>> class of people it is permissible for good people to despise.
>> But...but...BARACK SMOKES!!!
> But it will be photoshopped out like FDR's has been.
> One of the few things that has given me any sympathy for the shmuck
> is when we found out he'd resorted to mooching from aides and press.
Funny, I watch a fair amount of cable news and read political articles left
and right (so to speak), and I have not heard a single word about that. I
literally would not know he smokes unless it had been "revealed" during the
campaign.
If the state-run media protect him over something so superficial, is it any
surprise they provide cover for his real transgressions (hypocrisy,
corruption, dishonesty, extravagence, arrogance, etc. etc.)?
RonSonic
It'll be ugly when that falls apart, which it eventually will.
Andre Jute
> On Sun, 7 Jun 2009 00:21:10 -0700, "Bill Sornson" <so...@noyb.com> wrote:
> >RonSonic wrote:
>
> >>> Dans le message denews:ohql25t85r6nkpge4...@4ax.com,
> >>> Andrew Price <ajpr...@free.fr> a réfléchi, et puis a déclaré :
> >>>> On Sat, 6 Jun 2009 14:38:18 -0500, "Sandy" <leur...@free.fr> wrote:
>
> >>>>> Not HIS show, actually. He would have had trouble appearing at the
> >>>>> time. He was dead.
> >>>>> Don't let a small fact get in your way.
>
> >>>> Jobst knows that - he wrote in a previous post "cigarettes did him
> >>>> in".
>
> >>> Did he write that? No, he spoke of "his" [Brel's] show, which it
> >>> was not. Timing is everything, especially using proper tenses to
> >>> express thoughts.
>
> >>>> They sure did. I don't think I ever saw a photo of Brel without a
> >>>> cigarette in his mouth.
>
> >>> I don't think this fact diminishes what he brought to the world.
>
> >> No, but you don't live in the US where smokers are the one remaining
> >> class of people it is permissible for good people to despise.
>
> >But...but...BARACK SMOKES!!!
>
> But it will be photoshopped out like FDR's has been.
Don't hold your breath. There are still people who won't believe that
JFK wasn't a choirboy, or when asked for something he did right cites
his speeches or great things LBJ actually achieved. The only
difference is that the media loved JFK and hated LBJ.
In that light, the worst thing George Bush Snr ever did was move his
family to Texas: it automatically ensured they'd be castigated.
> One of the few things that has given me any sympathy for the shmuck is when we
> found out he'd resorted to mooching from aides and press.
I stopped smoking when I started cycling seriously in 1992. Damned
hard for the first few years.
Andre Jute
Reformed petrol head
Car-free since 1992
Greener than thou!