In article <
UBI20...@dont-email.me>, Ubiquitous <
web...@polaris.net>
wrote:
> What did you watch?
DA FLASH
Kind of boring, as I'm not rooting for anybody to save Iris, and
actively rooting for her to die like she's supposed to after last night.
Hopefully Wally is Savitar and we'll be rid of him too, which means
Jesse will go home and we'll be back to one single speedster next year.
LEGENDS OF TOMORROW
Very boring as the Legends spend a stupid episode trying to save Rip
(the outcome of which will disappoint Ian) while the bad guys would seem
to have an insurmountable head start. The big stupid this week is that
the Atom goes off into dinosaur territory dressed like a safari guide
from Banana Republic - why the Hell wouldn't you take your Atom suit!?!?
And then in the dream, stupid Canary actually *beats up* on the guy in
the Atom suit, without breaking an appendage!
I looked up Gideon to see if the hot live Gideon (ripped off intact from
Doctor Who and the heart of the T.A.R.D.I.S.) was the same actress that
does the voice every week, and indeed it was. That led me to note that
DOOMSDAY, a movie The Amazon has been recommending, costars her, so I
added it to my list, but when I went to watch it, the damn thing cost
money (something they didn't tell me when they suggested it or I added
it). I'm really really really close to dumping my Amazon Instant list
entirely before it ends up costing me a fortune when I'm half asleep and
click the wrong button ...
From 1990, The CBS Special (World Premier) Movie The Love Boat A
Valentine Voyage. Madre de Dios this was awful. Only the Captain (now
a recluse, and how does that work again?), Isaac (promoted from Head
Bartender to Chief Purser, the job he always wanted, and how does that
work again?), and Doc still crew a different ship in the fleet (Gavin
McCloud does ads for The Love Boats during the show) and Vicky, now a
travel agent who never gets to travel (except this is her second trip to
Barbados in a year) shows up as a guest star. The rest of the cast is
"an all-star passenger list from your favorite CBS shows - Murphy Brown,
Newhart, Major Dad, and Knot's Landing"!! which works out to be (in
Alphabetical order):
Steve Bond (who?)
Tom Bosley (from what CBS show again?)
Julia Duffy (from Newhart, and 12 months pregnant, and, yes, they
actually said that)
"Rowdy" Roddy Piper (as the moron)
Shanna Reed (from Major Dad, as the babe, and, hey, I went to High
School with her!)
Joe Regalbuto (from Murphy Brown, wearing Candice's wardrobe)
Ted Shackelford (Knot's Landing, failing to be a convincing villain)
John Terlesky (who!?!?!?)
Kim Johnston Ulrich (from my Mom's soap, and looking very rowr)
So in the first stupid story, Shackelford, Regalbuto, Piper, and Reed
have armed robbery'd $25 million in jewels. They have to smuggle them
ON to the boat, because customs checks everything when you board in the
USA, not when you get off in Barbados, because, what? Because they have
a description of Regalbuto, he has to board in drag and be sure to be
seen lots on deck instead of just, you know, staying in his cabin. Reed
runs the gift shop, and they chase around after the diamonds which were
hidden in chocolates snatched up by Fat Jack Stubing. Regalbuto and
Reed fall in love, while Bosley, apparently playing a cop returning from
an actual episode, who's been framed and run off the force by a
supervisor that hates him, works to catch them to redeem himself. In
the end he steals the jewels himself and divvies them up between what he
considers deserving crew and passengers, and they let Reed go because
her motive for committing armed robbery was that she 'needed the money'
- WTF? Reed and Regalbuto get millions in stolen diamonds too.
In the second stupid story, Duffy is 12 months pregnant and married to
the ship's pastry chef and has some false alarms and finally has the
baby on Valentine's Day and they call it Valentine and get millions in
stolen jewels from Bosley because, reasons.
In the third stupid story, Johnston Ulrich, the cruise director, has the
hots for Bond (I think) but instead is pursued by moron Terlesky (I
think) who she knew in college but the script screws up halfway through
and it turns out somebody *else* knew him in college. She spends the
episode trying to get the first guy to give her the sweet salty sea air
smoochies, and when he finally tries, she gets mad at him for trying,
and ends up in the arms of the moron, who's been hitting on her the
whole episode, because ... I have *no* idea. One of the guys may have
gotten arrested as a jewel thief too, but I'm really not sure, and if it
was, I'm not sure which one it was. Oh and there's a bachelor auction
for good measure.
In the final stupid story, Stubing is unhappy on Valentine's because
it's his wedding anniversary, and, in the feel good twist of the season,
Mrs. Cunningham is dead dead dead, having died horribly and alone, in
great protracted suffering. That bitch Vicky is trying to force the
Captain to get in touch with his feelings. The Captain tells Vicky the
story of the origin of Valentine's Day, which she never heard before,
and still hasn't since he gets it wrong. This culminates in a return to
their honeymoon hotel, where that nasty bitch Vicky has told the staff
to make the room up just like it was 5 years ago to make her father even
sadder ... but wait! There's a rose on a table by the pool! No one
could possibly have put that there but ... Mrs. Cunningham's ghost!!
Wait! What??? Knowing that his nasty wife is truly dead, Stubing is
made happy by the efforts of his nasty bitch daughter to make him sad.
They must have really hated Marion Ross. they don't even use stock
footage or a still photo of her.
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