On Saturday, January 21, 2017 at 10:13:48 AM UTC-5, James Nicoll wrote:
> In article <
2f9f65a9-62de-431a...@googlegroups.com>,
> Kevrob <
kev...@my-deja.com> wrote:
> >
> >I haven't been in a romantic relationship in a long time. I have had
> >them, enjoyed them, and given my druthers would do so again. So, I'm
> >certainly not "aromantic." I can understand people who think it is
> >too much fuss to go chasing one, and that's even described me, from time
> >to time. Declaring oneself to be that uninterested in the whole magillah
> >very early in life seems to me to be an unnecessary narrowing of one's
> >horizons.
>
> You know what people universally love to hear? "Your sexual orientation
> is just a phase."
I don't go around telling individuals that.
People do change their minds about a lot of things between, let us
say, puberty* and flatlining. Why sexual orientation wouldn't or
even couldn't be be one of those things, I couldn't say.
People who live by default heterosexual mores into mid-life
can, and do, decide that they are actually not that straight,
and adopt gay or bisexual behavior. In retrospect, could they
not they call their "plain vanilla," straight sexuality of their
youth "a phase?" I'd be foolish to tell a 40-something person
who had "switched teams" that they were having a dalliance, and
would inevitably return to their previous behavior.
Kevin R
* The folk wisdom that sexual identity is unalterably fixed,
even before puberty, strikes me as a polemical point that
those fighting for equality for those with the non-standard
impulses have been selling as a "noble myth." I suspect it
is more fluid than that, but wouldn't want to go back to
the days of trying to force physiological makes into squares
and physiological females into circles. I have no moral or
religious stake in making people conform to those expectations.