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Pseudo-YASID: Helicopter Parents

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Joe Bernstein

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Jan 31, 2016, 1:14:26 PM1/31/16
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So I'm reading a book that sort of touches on the old trope of "child from
our world goes to the magical world". And for some reason this particular
one takes a bit of note of the impact of this on the child's parents,
although the author, in a way I'm starting to get tired of, quickly dodges
the issue.

And this leads me to wonder about examples of the issue *not* being
dodged.

And, in particular, about examples of that intersecting with examples of
the much-decried modern style of parenting known as "helicopter
parenting".

I think C. S. Lewis's Eustace, from the Narnia books, has a mother who's
a sort of precursor of helicopter parenting, but we only see her through
his reflections and recollections, and if I remember correctly she
doesn't have the chance to miss him because (as in Lewis Carroll) his
trip takes no time worth mentioning in our world.

Keith Donohue's first two books, discussed in my first two book logs,
both concern missing children, but in one case from the child's point
of view and in the other from long after the disappearance (which is
anyway not the fantasy element of that book).

Kevin Brockmeier's <The Truth about Celia>, also logged back when, is
all about a father's response to his child's disappearance, and he
sometimes fantasticates this, but it'd be a real stretch to call this
close to what I'm looking for.

Unsurprisingly, a woman gets closer: Lisa Tuttle's <The Mysteries>,
*also* logged a while ago, is from the POV of the PI investigating a
series of disappearances.

And then for a *very* vague approximation - but in the kind of
*structure* I'm imagining, playing off the "child" in the "magical
world" versus the "parent" in the "mundane world" - there's Connie
Willis's <Doomsday Book>.

But still, I'm confused that I don't know of anything closer.
Admittedly, I'm pretty out of touch specifically with YA or children's
fantasy, and admittedly the kind of secondary world story that works
with this is out of fashion. Still, there's tons of potential, both
tragic and comic, in the helicopter parent, and I should *think* as a
human extreme it would be fairly easy to fantasticate, especially
when brought into proximity with the mythopoetic plot normal to this
sort of secondary-world fantasy.

What have I missed?

Joe Bernstein

--
Joe Bernstein, tax preparer and writer <j...@sfbooks.com>

Robert Carnegie

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Jan 31, 2016, 7:14:26 PM1/31/16
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What does "helicopter parenting" mean? When I look it up, it appears
to be over-attentive hovering over the child - which makes a mysterious
physical disappearance into fairy-land difficult to bring about
unnoticed.

But could you be thinking of the "seagull manager"?

The film <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_of_the_Navigator>
involves a flying saucer carrying a boy aged 12 to eight years
into the future, and the impact of his disappearance on the
family is examined when he returns.

_Doctor Who_ in 2005 offered to take a young woman on trips
through time and space and deliver her home twelve hours
after leaving, but instead it was twelve months.

Children are recklessly wished away in the film _Labyrinth_ -
by an elder sister - and in Mitch Benn's novel _Terra_,
where the wish doesn't seem to be connected to an infant
abduction by another flying saucer but must be sorely
regretted anyway.

You do overlook Peter Pan, who collected Lost Boys who I think
were all children that fell out of the baby-carriage on walks
and weren't retrieved, but this may have been imagined by Peter.
The mother of the Darling children however appears to be
telepathic (there are a lot of odd things in that household):

"There never was a simpler happier family until the coming of
Peter Pan. Mrs. Darling first heard of Peter when she was
tidying up her children's minds. It is the nightly custom of
every good mother after her children are asleep to rummage in
their minds and put things straight for next morning, repacking
into their proper places the many articles that have wandered
during the day."

Peter is detected by Mrs. Darling as a name in the children's
minds, so she questions Wendy. But Peter proceeds to collect
the children anyway by the reasonably reliable method of
flying them out of the window - as also used in _The X Files_
(Fox Mulder's sister) and in Harry Potter (despite prison bars).

Dorothy J Heydt

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Jan 31, 2016, 7:45:04 PM1/31/16
to
In article <7729399b-8145-4946...@googlegroups.com>,
Joe Bernstein <j...@sfbooks.com> wrote:
>
>I think C. S. Lewis's Eustace, from the Narnia books, has a mother who's
>a sort of precursor of helicopter parenting, but we only see her through
>his reflections and recollections, and if I remember correctly she
>doesn't have the chance to miss him because (as in Lewis Carroll) his
>trip takes no time worth mentioning in our world.

Eustace goes to Narnia twice. The first trip begins from his
home, and we don't see his parents, but Lewis says of them, "They
were very up-todate and advanced people. They were vegetarians
and non-smokers and teetotalers and wore a special kind of
underclothes. In their house there was very little furniture and
very few clothes on the beds and the windows were always open."

They fall into Narnia through a picture on the wall, of a ship
under sail, which the elder Scrubbses dislike but can't get rid
of because it was a wedding present.

We don't see much of their return to Earth from that visit,
except that his mother said "that he had become very commonplace
and tiresome and it must have been the influence of those
Pevensie children."

It doesn't sound to me as if Eustace's parents were the
helicopter type; nay, rather, that they were too busy about their
own affairs to pay any more attention to him than they had to.

About Eustace's second visit, however, we get some information on
how much Earth time his and Jill's time in Narnia took, that is,
damn-all, because when they return the bullies who had been hot
on their trails hadn't moved an inch, and since Eustace and Jill
have returned in Narnian finery and *armed*, the bullies are
taken aback.

I haven't read any of the other books you mention so I can't help
there.

--
Dorothy J. Heydt
Vallejo, California
djheydt at gmail dot com

Kevrob

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Jan 31, 2016, 9:59:52 PM1/31/16
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On Sunday, January 31, 2016 at 7:45:04 PM UTC-5, Dorothy J Heydt wrote:
> In article <7729399b-8145-4946...@googlegroups.com>,
> Joe Bernstein <j...@sfbooks.com> wrote:
> >
> >I think C. S. Lewis's Eustace, from the Narnia books, has a mother who's
> >a sort of precursor of helicopter parenting, but we only see her through
> >his reflections and recollections, and if I remember correctly she
> >doesn't have the chance to miss him because (as in Lewis Carroll) his
> >trip takes no time worth mentioning in our world.
>
> Eustace goes to Narnia twice. The first trip begins from his
> home, and we don't see his parents, but Lewis says of them, "They
> were very up-todate and advanced people. They were vegetarians
> and non-smokers and teetotalers and wore a special kind of
> underclothes. In their house there was very little furniture and
> very few clothes on the beds and the windows were always open."
>
>

Lewis makes them sound like they were "7th Day Mormons." :)

Kevin R

x...@xer.com

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Feb 1, 2016, 2:20:30 AM2/1/16
to
Hi all

"Dorothy J Heydt" <djh...@kithrup.com> wrote in message
news:o1uF8...@kithrup.com...

> Eustace goes to Narnia twice. The first trip begins from his


Didn't Eustace go three times:

Voyage of the Dawn Treader
The Silver Chair
The Last Battle

Or am I misremembering?

It pains me to admit that I haven't read the Chronicles in a long while
(more than a decade), despite having 2 boxes sets waiting to be opened.

Embarrased.

REgards
Frank



--- news://freenews.netfront.net/ - complaints: ne...@netfront.net ---

Joe Bernstein

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Feb 1, 2016, 1:08:40 PM2/1/16
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On Sunday, January 31, 2016 at 4:14:26 PM UTC-8, Robert Carnegie wrote:

> On Sunday, 31 January 2016 18:14:26 UTC, Joe Bernstein wrote:

> > So I'm reading a book that sort of touches on the old trope of "child from
> > our world goes to the magical world". And for some reason this particular
> > one takes a bit of note of the impact of this on the child's parents,
> > although the author, in a way I'm starting to get tired of, quickly dodges
> > the issue.
> >
> > And this leads me to wonder about examples of the issue *not* being
> > dodged.
> >
> > And, in particular, about examples of that intersecting with examples of
> > the much-decried modern style of parenting known as "helicopter
> > parenting".
[rather distant examples]
> > But still, I'm confused that I don't know of anything closer.
> > Admittedly, I'm pretty out of touch specifically with YA or children's
> > fantasy, and admittedly the kind of secondary world story that works
> > with this is out of fashion. Still, there's tons of potential, both
> > tragic and comic, in the helicopter parent, and I should *think* as a
> > human extreme it would be fairly easy to fantasticate, especially
> > when brought into proximity with the mythopoetic plot normal to this
> > sort of secondary-world fantasy.

> What does "helicopter parenting" mean? When I look it up, it appears
> to be over-attentive hovering over the child - which makes a mysterious
> physical disappearance into fairy-land difficult to bring about
> unnoticed.

Well, yes, that's the point. Difficulties are, after all, the *point*
of adventure stories, and nobody ever promised that the disappearance
had to be unnoticed.

Well, OK, back in the day, authors like Nesbit actually promised that
the disappearance couldn't even be *remembered*, and that would
obviously play hob with the idea that the parents could notice it. Not
that it entirely rules it out - cf Tanith Lee's <Piratica>, where the
titular character, not yet using that name, doesn't remember why her
father treats her as he does, and when her memory does comes back, it's
wrong.

The can't-remember-it thing is probably the historical reason why this
angle of "child visits magical world" hasn't been much explored, though.

It occurs to me that much of the behaviour symbolic of helicopter
parenting not only implies but actually *requires* physical separation.
I mean, they wouldn't demand hourly check-ins by cell phone if they
were in the same house, and they usually wouldn't go and beard teachers
and professors in the child's presence. So I'm not sure the difficulty
is actually all that great.

> But could you be thinking of the "seagull manager"?

No. Many bad kings are like that, but that has nothing to do with
helicopter parenting.

> The film <https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flight_of_the_Navigator>
> involves a flying saucer carrying a boy aged 12 to eight years
> into the future, and the impact of his disappearance on the
> family is examined when he returns.

Good.

> Children are recklessly wished away in the film _Labyrinth_ -
> by an elder sister - and in Mitch Benn's novel _Terra_,
> where the wish doesn't seem to be connected to an infant
> abduction by another flying saucer but must be sorely
> regretted anyway.

<Labyrinth> is actually kind of an example of what I'm after: the
fantasy is *built* around the response to the abduction. But, not to
fault <Labyrinth>, I'm thinking something really good could come of
playing with the reality vs. fantasy edges involved, which <Labyrinth>
doesn't do. How does the parent filing a missing persons report,
holding a memorial service, or whatever affect the fantasy world? Are
the parent's emotions a chain impeding the child, or a golden cord
enabling return? (And what happens when those emotions change?) Cf.
the games Nancy Kress plays with reifying psychology in <The Prince of
Morning Bells>.

This isn't to say that a story in which a parent goes to fairyland *in
pursuit of* a child would be any kind of bad - well, witness <Labyrinth>
again - although it might be criticised as derivative of that movie.
Oh, duh. This is <Lud-in-the-Mist>, isn't it?

> You do overlook Peter Pan,

The complicated textual history of Peter Pan convinced me a long time
ago that the way to deal with it was just to read Barrie in publication
order. This keeps getting delayed.

Sea Wasp (Ryk E. Spoor)

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Feb 1, 2016, 3:13:49 PM2/1/16
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Huh, I realize that this too touches on Xavier. In _Paradigms Lost_,
Xavier Ross goes off in an ill-considered quest to avenge his murdered
brother, despite people like Jason trying to dissuade him. He is then,
apparently, murdered. Later info indicates something odder than that
happened to him. Then finally a couple years later he shows up none the
worse for wear, but having to deal with what happened in his absence.
(If I ever get to write the Spirit Warriors trilogy, we'll get to see
all that in more detail).



--
Sea Wasp
/^\
;;;
Website: http://www.grandcentralarena.com Blog:
http://seawasp.livejournal.com

Robert Carnegie

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Feb 2, 2016, 5:15:57 AM2/2/16
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Incidentally, in Roger Zelazny's _A Dark Traveling_, it's
the parents who disappear and the children have to deal
with the public authorities.

PeterM

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Feb 2, 2016, 3:13:38 PM2/2/16
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I can't think of any great examples, but a few things come to mind.

1) I felt really bad for Gregg Henry's character at the beginning of "Guardians Of The Galaxy." He had to deal with his daughter's death and his grandson's disappearance on the same night. The movie then jumps twenty years into the future and we never hear about him again. Crushing grief as background detail.

2) Stephen King's The Girl Who Loved Tom Gordon is about a little girl who wanders away from her family on a hike and gets lost in the woods, which are possibly magical but not in a good way. The story is mostly from her point of view, but it does also show the effects on her family. Whether the book counts as SF depends on whether you think some of her experiences were real or hallucinated.

3) Many years ago on the subway I heard a men sitting behind me having a conversation with his companion. He was complaining about his mother. Seems he had left home twenty years before and had had no contact with Mom in all that time. He had recently shown up with his companion, expecting his mother to put them both up and feed them for as long as they cared to stay with her. Apparently she'd been a bit annoyed and hadn't thought his explanation of "I've been busy!" was sufficient to explain his long absence and lack of contact. This guy was firmly convinced he was the wronged party in the scenario. It was fascinating.

Lynn McGuire

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Feb 2, 2016, 4:10:58 PM2/2/16
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An odd take on this might be _Lightning_ by Dean Koontz. A girl is born and a man shows up to protect her at her birth. At every
juncture in her life where she might get killed, the man shows up to save her from fate.
http://www.amazon.com/Lightning-Dean-Koontz/dp/042523360X/

Lynn

Kevrob

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Feb 2, 2016, 4:36:20 PM2/2/16
to
Starting with the "Flash of Two Worlds" story ....

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flash_of_Two_Worlds

... in THE FLASH #123 SEP 1961, Gardner Fox, who had previously established
that Barry (The Flash) Allen was a fan of Golden Age comics featuring
Jay (The Flash) Garrick, had Barry meeting his "fictional idol." When
Allen accidentally broke the dimensional barrier between Earth-One's
Central City and Earth-Two's Keystone, he just looked up Jay-Flash in
the phone book, under his civilian name!

Other characters were established as living on "Earth-Prime," which
was nearly identical to our Earth, except that their version of the Flash
scripters and editor Julie Schwartz had actually met a Scarlet Speedster
(or two.)

Then all 999 kazillion died in the Crisis.

Kevin R

David DeLaney

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Feb 2, 2016, 6:58:36 PM2/2/16
to
On 2016-02-02, Lynn McGuire <l...@winsim.com> wrote:
> On 1/31/2016 12:14 PM, Joe Bernstein wrote:
>> So I'm reading a book that sort of touches on the old trope of "child from
>> our world goes to the magical world". And for some reason this particular
>> one takes a bit of note of the impact of this on the child's parents,
>> although the author, in a way I'm starting to get tired of, quickly dodges
>> the issue.
[...]
>> And, in particular, about examples of that intersecting with examples of
>> the much-decried modern style of parenting known as "helicopter
>> parenting".
[...]
>> What have I missed?
>
> An odd take on this might be _Lightning_ by Dean Koontz. A girl is born and
> a man shows up to protect her at her birth. At every
> juncture in her life where she might get killed, the man shows up to save her
> from fate.
> http://www.amazon.com/Lightning-Dean-Koontz/dp/042523360X/

Lynn reminds me of an oh-duh along the same lines; in the first book or two of
Card's Alvin Maker series, the torch Polly, who has possession of Alvin's
birth caul, has to perform much the same service, except that her knack means
she doesn't have to show up, and he never knows she did any of it, I think?

Dave
--
\/David DeLaney posting thru EarthLink - "It's not the pot that grows the flower
It's not the clock that slows the hour The definition's plain for anyone to see
Love is all it takes to make a family" - R&P. VISUALIZE HAPPYNET VRbeable<BLINK>
http://gatekeeper.vic.com/~dbd/ -net.legends/Magic / I WUV you in all CAPS! --K.

David Goldfarb

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Feb 3, 2016, 2:30:05 AM2/3/16
to
In article <I6adnShjDMA03yzL...@earthlink.com>,
David DeLaney <d...@vic.com> wrote:
>Lynn reminds me of an oh-duh along the same lines; in the first book or two of
>Card's Alvin Maker series, the torch Polly, who has possession of Alvin's
>birth caul, has to perform much the same service, except that her knack means
>she doesn't have to show up, and he never knows she did any of it, I think?

Correcting to be polite: Peggy. (He doesn't know at the time, but
I think he does find out later on.)

--
David Goldfarb |"Hello, this is Leslie Down with the daily home
goldf...@gmail.com | astrology report.
gold...@ocf.berkeley.edu | TAURUS: Contemplate domestic turmoil.
| AQUARIUS: Abandon hope for future plans." -- TMBG

Kay Shapero

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Feb 5, 2016, 12:54:22 AM2/5/16
to

There's "The Bewitching Pool" Twiligh Zone episode where two kids
disappear, but can hear their parents calling them, and the kids
ultimately decide whether they want to return or stay with "Aunt T".

--

Kay Shapero
Address munged, try my first name at kayshapero dot net.

William December Starr

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Feb 7, 2016, 9:03:40 AM2/7/16
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In-reply-to: j...@sfbooks.com

In article <9b14ad83-6f79-430b...@googlegroups.com>,
Joe Bernstein <j...@sfbooks.com> said:

> <Labyrinth> is actually kind of an example of what I'm after: the
> fantasy is *built* around the response to the abduction. But, not
> to fault <Labyrinth>, I'm thinking something really good could
> come of playing with the reality vs. fantasy edges involved, which
> <Labyrinth> doesn't do. How does the parent filing a missing
> persons report, holding a memorial service, or whatever affect the
> fantasy world? Are the parent's emotions a chain impeding the
> child, or a golden cord enabling return? (And what happens when
> those emotions change?) Cf. the games Nancy Kress plays with
> reifying psychology in <The Prince of Morning Bells>.
>
> This isn't to say that a story in which a parent goes to fairyland
> *in pursuit of* a child would be any kind of bad

"Taken 5: Fairyland".

(Yes I know there hasn't even been a "Taken 4" yet. Give it time.)

----------------------

Explanation: the first of the "Taken" series of films, in 2008,
began with a retired CIA(?) agent literally hearing his daughter's
kidnapping on her cell phone. When one of the kidnappers picks up
the phone, the father gives him one of the most famous quote-lines
in recent movie history:

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are
looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I
do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired
over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people
like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of
it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you
don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.

...and the kidnapper after a long pause responded "Good luck" and
hung up. Fatal error, eventually.

(I saw a wonderful clip of Liam Neeson on "The Graham Norton Show"
a wonderfully British talk show being asked by a woman in the
audience if he'd record that speech on her cell phone so she could
use it as her "Leave a message" message, and he did, speaking it
with exactly the menacing intensity he'd used in the movie and then
appending a ridiculously cheerful "So leave your message at the
beep." Actor-comedian Alan Davies (Jonathan Creek"), sitting next
to Neeson, then pretended to record his own version of the speech
based on the idea that the child was an awful brat and the
kidnappers were well welcome to keep her.)

--
wds

Jerry Brown

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Feb 7, 2016, 11:48:17 AM2/7/16
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On 7 Feb 2016 09:03:37 -0500, wds...@panix.com (William December
Norton also occasionally digs up awful fanfic during his show, and
then gets the real actors to perform it. Hasn't done it in a while
though. Shame.

--
Jerry Brown

A cat may look at a king
(but probably won't bother)

TB

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Sep 27, 2016, 5:21:18 PM9/27/16
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On Sunday, January 31, 2016 at 11:20:30 PM UTC-8, X...@xer.com wrote:
> Hi all
>
> "Dorothy J Heydt" <djh...@kithrup.com> wrote in message
> news:o1uF8...@kithrup.com...
>
> > Eustace goes to Narnia twice. The first trip begins from his
>
>
> Didn't Eustace go three times:
>
> Voyage of the Dawn Treader
> The Silver Chair
> The Last Battle

At the end of "The Last Battle", everyone who showed up to help the King of Narnia, plus the King, enter a barn, and find themselves in the Narnia version of Heaven! They realize that they had died in a train crash before coming to Narnia!

Narnia Heaven is like Narnia, only bigger and more vibrant. Its full of endless adventure.
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