B5 toy contest :)
Dan McDonald
DISCLAIMER: This is merely a joke contest. JMS has not endorsed it. JMS
has no knowledge of this. This is not meant to be taken even
slightly seriously. So those of you net.police out there,
lighten up. Persons attempting to find a plot will be shot.
Persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished.
=====================(Cut up to and including here.)======================
Joe Straczynski is a busy man. He's trying to speak at as many conventions
as he can, he has to deal with sleazy Hollywood types (I just saw _The
Player_ last night, and that rings truer now), and oh, yeah, he has to
produce our favorite show. Joe doesn't have time for little things, like
MERCHANDISING!
Now we all know that Micro-Machines has cool little B5 toys coming out. But
I think it is up to us, the fans, to help Joe and company out a little.
With that thought, I present:
T H E B A B Y L O N - 5 T O Y C O N T E S T
Yes, that's right folks. With the holiday season just around the corner, we
as fans need to get B5 into the hearts and minds of potential viewers young
and old. What better {Christmas, Hannukah, G'Quan Eth, Rebirth, Goddess of
Indulgence, etc.} present can you give than a fan-inspired Babylon-5 toy?
We need ideas, folks. IDEAS
Just a few simple rules:
1. NO STORY IDEAS.
Neat concepts like the, "Psi-Corps headquarters playset," where you can have
the Bester action-figure plot against... will be punishable by having 3
Narns, 2 Drazi, 1 Minbari warrior caste brute, and Lou Welch beat the entrant
up with baseball bats.
2. KEEP IT CLEAN
I don't want to see any "Inflatable Ivanovas", "Anatomically correct
G'Kars", or "The Visible Kosh".
3. NO "WAY-OUT" TIE-INS
Marketing Sheridan action figures with Simba plush toys as, "Scarecrow and
the Lion King" is right out. No nintendo games with Mario and Vorlons
entitled "Donkey Kosh" either.
Okay so much for the rules, which, as always, can be bent.
Here are a few of my entries in the "Plush toy" category. These are taken
from actual posts from other people to r.a.s.t.b5:
1. KuddlyKosh
This was mentioned by someone as a prize for making Joe publicly
sweat over a speculation. Picture your 3-year-old going to bed
knowing that the Vorlon ambassador is right at his or her side.
Pull the string and hear Kosh say, "Yes", "No", and "They are not
for you", complete with Chistopher Franke bells-and-whistles.
2. Starfurry
This misspelled but classic idea gives children less-alien
protection. Ideal for Home Guard children, the latest in Earth
Alliance tech can now keep the boogeyman, maybe even the shadowman,
out of your child's nightmares. Comes in regular gunmetal grey
plush, or new Stealth black fur, for discriminating or psi-corps
children.
Post your entries so that everyone, including JMS, can see. If you can,
please follow up to this article or children of this article so my threaded
newsreader can follow it. Hell, I even cut the subject line to <20
characters so dain-bramaged software, like GEnie's mailer, can't munge it up
too bad.
Here's hoping this post gets printed on the Babylon 5 set's corkboard!
(Though I seriously doubt it.)
--
Daniel L. McDonald | Mail: dan...@itd.nrl.navy.mil -------------------------+
Computer Scientist | WWW: http://wintermute.itd.nrl.navy.mil/danmcd.html |
Naval Research Lab | Phone: (202) 404-7122 #include <disclaimer.h> |
Washington, DC | "Rise from the ashes, A blaze of everyday glory" - Rush +
Jinxo
an...@beta.success.net writes:
>The "Complete Babylon Project" set.
>This set includes almost anything imagineable that is connected to the
>Babylon Project. [Ok, so it dosen't. I'm writing like a toy company. :)
] In this
>huge, accurate, high-detail set, you will get:
>A model of B5, complete with spinning modules [Batteries not included],
pop-
>out quad-laser guns that actually light up, spring-loaded Cobra Bays [We
are
>not responsible for injuries resulting from this], with a wing of four
Starfuries,
>[Others sold seperately] and a jump gate set.
It would be cool it this set were actually built to scale. That way, in
order for the Starfuries to be somwhat larger than Microscopic, the B-5
station model would more or less fill a whole room. The ultimate holiday
gift for any child (or adult) with an extra, totally empty room to fill!
Be seeing you.
______________________________________________________________________
"It was an early earth president, Abraham Lincoln, who best described
our situation:
"The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate for the stormy present.
"The occassion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise to the
occassion.
"We can not escape history.
"We will be remembered, in spite of ourselves.
"The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or
dishonor, to the last generation.
"We shall nobly save, or meanly lose our last best hope."
--Captain John Sheridan, Babylon 5
Per Jacobsen
: T H E B A B Y L O N - 5 T O Y C O N T E S T
: We need ideas, folks. IDEAS
Hmm... Rubber ducks!
%-)
Andy Oxenreider
> T H E B A B Y L O N - 5 T O Y C O N T E S T
>
I have an idea for a "mega-set", you know, those BIG sets you always
wanted for <insert holiday name here>, but never got?
The "Complete Babylon Project" set.
This set includes almost anything imagineable that is connected to the
Babylon Project. [Ok, so it dosen't. I'm writing like a toy company. :) ] In this
huge, accurate, high-detail set, you will get:
A model of B5, complete with spinning modules [Batteries not included], pop-
out quad-laser guns that actually light up, spring-loaded Cobra Bays [We are
not responsible for injuries resulting from this], with a wing of four Starfuries,
[Others sold seperately] and a jump gate set.
But this _IS_ the complete "Babylon Project" set, so you'll also get:
- Three highly-detailed die-cast pieces of twisted metal, exact replicas of
Babylons 1, 2, and 3.
And finally:
An empty plastic model stand, with "Babylon 4" stamped on the top.
Here's another silly one:
Crystal Climbers (TM), the special Minbari edition.
(Enough pieces to build your very own Chrysalizer (r). Triluminary not included.]
Oh, dear. Have I been taking this too seriously? :)
crawf
an...@beta.success.net (Andy Oxenreider) writes:
>But this _IS_ the complete "Babylon Project" set, so you'll also get:
>- Three highly-detailed die-cast pieces of twisted metal, exact replicas of
>Babylons 1, 2, and 3.
>And finally:
>An empty plastic model stand, with "Babylon 4" stamped on the top.
construction and a B4 kit that disappears after completion?
larry crawford "Talk is cheap, but so are you."
psychology dept -- "No Nose Blues"
univ of georgia
athens, ga 30602 "putting the psycho in psychobiology"
craw...@uga.cc.uga.edu
HUDS...@snymorva.cs.snymor.edu
Im sorry for my last post. I posted it before reading the rules
Andy Oxenreider
>>- Three highly-detailed die-cast pieces of twisted metal, exact replicas of
>>Babylons 1, 2, and 3.
>Shouldn't that be model kits of B1-3 which blow up at various points during
>construction and a B4 kit that disappears after completion?
I was thinking pre-assembled. Or, at least, "Some assembly required." :)
I thought B1-3 weren't actually blown up completely, just sabotaged to kill
the structural integreity...
Andy Oxenreider
>It would be cool it this set were actually built to scale. That way, in
>order for the Starfuries to be somwhat larger than Microscopic, the B-5
>station model would more or less fill a whole room. The ultimate holiday
>gift for any child (or adult) with an extra, totally empty room to fill!
As I wrote that, I realized just how cool it would be.
Then, I realized how big it would be.
Then, I realized how cool it would be because of how big it would be.
Christian Mogensen
Dan McDonald <dan...@sundance.itd.nrl.navy.mil> wrote:
>
>I think it is up to us, the fans, to help Joe and company out a little.
>With that thought, I present:
>
> T H E B A B Y L O N - 5 T O Y C O N T E S T
>
The Music of Babylon 5 - on shiny aluminum substrate, perfect for your
CD player. Also available: the Laserdisc Letterbox Season.
No wait - that's being done...
Christian "web-head"
David Hines
(Dan McDonald) writes:
>1. KuddlyKosh
>
> This was mentioned by someone as a prize for making Joe publicly
> sweat over a speculation. Picture your 3-year-old going to bed
> knowing that the Vorlon ambassador is right at his or her side.
> Pull the string and hear Kosh say, "Yes", "No", and "They are not
> for you", complete with Chistopher Franke bells-and-whistles.
That one was my idea. I awarded the first KuddlyKosh^TM to John
Benn, on an occasion when he made JMS squirm with a question.
The string pull in the back is your idea, though.
Someone followed up with a wonderful Koshism:
"You know, that's a wonderful soft toy you have. It's cuddly, and
soft, and sensual... I've never seen anything like it. What is it?"
"Lucrative."
David Hines
dzh...@midway.uchicago.edu
YVES NANTEL
>In <3ao05v$j...@ra.nrl.navy.mil>, dan...@sundance.itd.nrl.navy.mil (Dan McDonald) writes:
>>
>> T H E B A B Y L O N - 5 T O Y C O N T E S T
>>
>Here's another silly one:
>Crystal Climbers (TM), the special Minbari edition.
>(Enough pieces to build your very own Chrysalizer (r). Triluminary not included.]
I'd prefer a Jenga/Chrysalizer mixup: You take a crystal from the bottom
and you put it on top... it would require sturdy plastic, wouldn't it?
Yves Nantel, 920...@meo.lacitec.on.ca
Sean O'Connell
> A model of B5, complete with spinning modules [Batteries not included], pop-
> out quad-laser guns that actually light up, spring-loaded Cobra Bays [We are
> not responsible for injuries resulting from this], with a wing of four Star
> [Others sold seperately] and a jump gate set.
Ya gotta think like a marketing person here! Team up with the
Micro Machines people and make it compatable... The jump gate comes
with a pair of industrial strength rubber bands to "launch" the MM ships
into hyperspace (again not responsible for injuries or damages). Just think
of it: "Mommy! I need a new Minbari cruiser! The old one is buried in the
wall!"
How about the Shadow cruiser done to the scale of the old Star Wars
ships... only the box is empty (the ship's cloaked).
Or a sure fire hit: A video tape of the old Zima guy getting beat up by
four Narns with baseball bats.
-------
Sean O'Connell When the going gets tough, the tough get caffeinated.
se...@hacks.arizona.edu
The only suprises for a pessimist are pleasant ones.
C. Baden
something else...
How about a Delenn figure that can be transformed?
or have the "new" delenn, inside a plastic cocoon
Or, to go with the airlock action play set, an action figure that
decompresses...
Plus, along those lines, the break-apart Narn fighters; the break-apart
Minbari ship; and the break-apart Babylon station.
--
ha...@netcom.com - Home of Margarita Jell-O, an alcoholic use for lime
jello. Email me w/ "request margarita" as subject or message for recipe.
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Kevin Phair
"HUDS...@SUNYMORVA.CS.SNYMOR.EDU" <HUDS...@snymorva.cs.snymor.edu> writes:
> Im sorry for my last post. I posted it before reading the rules
Never mind, it was pretty funny, and your follow-up posting was even
better! ;-)
--[ Kev ]------------------------------------------------------------------
"Leave this place. They are not for you. Go. Leave. Now."
Stef Jones
> has no knowledge of this. This is not meant to be taken even
> slightly seriously. So those of you net.police out there,
> lighten up. Persons attempting to find a plot will be shot.
> Persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished.
>
>=====================(Cut up to and including here.)======================
> T H E B A B Y L O N - 5 T O Y C O N T E S T
Some entries from the Babylon-5 Merchandising Catalog:
Ambassador G'Kar ant farm
Centauri self-erecting hairpiece
Ambassador Delenn crystal-sculpture lint-dispenser (warning: do not
stand in the path of the lint dispenser nozzle)
Ambassador Kosh anti-solicitor doorbell
(says "@*#$&# They are not for you #*$&#*")
Deathwalker vitamins
Lennier "Introduction to Minbari Kick-Boxing" video
Minbari amnesia pills (for those baaad hangovers)
Minbari Grey Council extra-oversized hooded bathrobes
(available in Dithered B&W, 8 Greys, and 16 Greys)
Vorlon Ouija board with SoundBlaster card
CentauriWoman<tm> lilac-scented depilatory head creme
Minbari Soul Tracer cards (with StarStuff<R>)
Garibaldi X-ray blonde detector glasses
Ambassador Delenn special all-over body mud
Ambassador G'kar Vitamin E supplements
-- Stef
rational/scientific/philosophical/mystical/magical/kitty
st...@netcom.com
The universe is run by the complex interweaving of three
elements: energy, matter, and enlightened self-interest. -- BABYLON 5
Tara Murphy
>______________________________________________________________________
>"It was an early earth president, Abraham Lincoln, who best described
> our situation:
>"The dogmas of the quiet past are inadequate for the stormy present.
>"The occassion is piled high with difficulty, and we must rise to the
> occassion.
>"We can not escape history.
>"We will be remembered, in spite of ourselves.
>"The fiery trial through which we pass will light us down in honor or
> dishonor, to the last generation.
>"We shall nobly save, or meanly lose our last best hope."
> --Captain John Sheridan, Babylon 5
Is that how he phrased it? Funny, I don't remember an "Earth President"
by that name. Maybe an American one......
Slightly bitter Canadian
--
Tara Murphy | "I suggest a new strategy Artoo.
ta...@morgan.ucs.mun.ca | Let the Wookiee win."
Cpt. Kangarooski
pull the string and kosh says something strange that appears to have no
relavence until you get further along in the season. also if you open the
doll up, the 100W bulb lights up.
-cpt kangarooski
Andrew S. Liebeskind
Tara Murphy <ta...@plato.ucs.mun.ca> wrote:
>Jinxo <jp...@cornell.edu> writes:
>
>>______________________________________________________________________
>>"It was an early earth president, Abraham Lincoln, who best described
>> our situation:
>> --Captain John Sheridan, Babylon 5
>
>Is that how he phrased it? Funny, I don't remember an "Earth President"
>by that name. Maybe an American one......
>
>Slightly bitter Canadian
>
Give him the benefit of 400 years of historical perspective. I think
an 'Earth president' means merely 'a president on Earth', not 'of
Earth'. In much the same way, a modern might relate an anecdote
about 'a medieval European king', without specifying his kingdom.
Presumably, everybody in the 23rd century knows what a President is,
without needing to know or care over which nation-state s/he presided.
Andrew
flat...@clark.net
Peter Murray
dan...@sundance.itd.nrl.navy.mil (Dan McDonald) wrote:
>newsreader can follow it. Hell, I even cut the subject line to <20
>characters so dain-bramaged software, like GEnie's mailer, can't munge it up
>too bad.
Oh, is _that_ where all those ÿ symbols (or whatever) come from!?
Back to the subject line:
Toy ideas:
JMS figure. Comes complete with briefcase which opens, pop-up-book style,
to show the presentation for B5. Press a button on the figure's back, and
his arms wave enthusiastically. Also a cardboard cut-out of a network
committee he's presenting the series to. (They don't do anything.)
Takashima figure. (I was going to say more about this one, but my sample
seems to have disappeared somewhere.)
Kosh figure. Made of some unusual chemical, so that it seems to move of its
own accord, without needing batteries. Rarely found where you left it.
Jha'Dur figure. Made of some horribly un-ecological plastic, and should last
forever. (WARNING: this plastic will disintegrate if it comes into contact
with the chemical used in the Kosh figure!)
rastb5 screensaver. Lots of little people milling about on the screen (they
have to move, or it's not much use as a screensaver!) with JMS somewhere
in the middle. When the JMS picture opens its mouth to speak, some of the
the others clap, others shake their heads. Sometimes a new person appears
at the edge of the screen and heads aggressively toward JMS, only to be
turned back by flames thrown by the others.
--
..Peter Murray pe...@table76.demon.co.uk
Wesley: It's just not natural, being in a suit during the hours of daylight!
-- [Last of the Summer Wine]