Gupt - A review by Amar Pai
Mahesh Ajit R
A friend of mine wrote an entertaining review of Gupt
- Mahesh
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One of my friends from work is this guy named Mahesh. His name
invites stale puns, and we often accept this invitation. Mahesh going to
the ATM: "Get some Macash!" Mahesh being bad: "Give him 50 Malashes!" At
various times he's gone by "Mahashish", "Mahashtable" and "Moesha". You
can see we don't get out much.
Anyway, Mahesh has lived all over the world. He was born in India,
went to school for a while in Europe and most recently shacked up in
Nigeria. People like him really fascinate me. Maybe they gravitate to
each other; Mahesh's girlfriend, Tania, was born in Singapore, lived in
Russia, spent time in Malawi and Sweden, and is also Indian. (As a result
she's fluent in English, Russian, Swedish and Hindi! Kinda makes your
pathetic American-high-school-educated "vamos a la playa" ass cringe,
doesn't it?)
So, last week cosmopolitan Mahesh invited me and our friend Pedro
(fluent in Spanish, German and English; I swear I'm the only loser at NI
who can't curse in three languages) to go see a Hindi movie with him and
Tania. This sounds like a nice offer, but I was suspicious. What little
I had heard about Indian cinema was not encouraging. Supposedly all
Indian movies could be summed up in two words: "long" and "stupid". I'd
heard they all have the same plot, they all have lots of musical numbers
that break out without warning, and they all last forever. "Like West
Side Story except much longer and with even worse acting," is how one guy
described them to me. In general, the consensus was that if you have to
choose between watching an Indian flick and getting that torture where the
Vikings nail your intestines to a tree and then make you walk around it,
you should go with the torture.
But Mahesh knew Indian cinema better than us, and he assured us this
was no average Bollywood bunk. "How long is it?" we asked.
"Two hours and fifteen minutes," he replied with a straight face.
"Does it have subtitles?"
"No, but don't worry, I'll translate. And," he added, going for one
of my weak spots, "there'll be gorgeous Indian babes."
That made it pretty appealing. Pedro and I cracked like eggshells and
went along. The movie was called Gupt.
Gupt: A Review. (Or, "How To Make Someone Beg For Swift Death")
Gupt, (Hindi for "hidden") , is a movie about many universal themes:
? Love
? Betrayal
? The Twin Faces of Comedy and Tragedy
? Flabby People in Skin-Tight Clothing
It is this last theme that I wish to bring up, because Mahesh clearly
stated to me and Pedro, quote, "There'll be gorgeous Indian babes." I can
only assume he meant in the audience, because on-screen it just wasn't
happening. In his defense, he says the leading ladies in this movie let
themselves go since their last picture. Whatever the excuse, the fact is
that Gupt's starlets, purportedly sleek and sexy, were in fact decidedly
chunky-style. Given that their acting ability didn't exceed the average "I
Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" shill's, I feel like we had a right to at
least expect some tantalizing flesh. But though the Heroine and Bad Girl
both wore lots of revealing clothing, they would've been better off keeping
it Gupt. And lest you think I'm a victim of Western-standards-of-beauty
brainwashing, let me point out that both Mahesh and Tania, who've been
around the world and back a thousand times, murmured "Damn! Those girls
got fat!"
So Gupt is first of all not a movie for those who which to ogle
beauty, (of either sex; Tania says the movie's lunkhead Hero, supposed to
be a hunka-hunka burnin' love, is actually rather ugly). It's also not a
movie for voyeurs. They're not even allowed to kiss in Indian movies, let
alone do the horizontal rumba. Mahesh explained this all to me during the
movie's intermission (!). Since anything sexual is taboo, they use big
metaphoric dance numbers to suggest what they can't show -- which I guess
explains all the cornball mountain-climbing / plunging into river shots.
This brings us to two other what's-the-opposite-of-selling-points: the
dancing, and the fact that the movie was THREE AND A HALF HOURS LONG. If
you've never been to a Hindi movie where you don't understand Hindi and the
movie's three and a half hours long, let me just explain: this is a long,
long time. I wouldn't listen to a joint address from Buddha, Jesus and
Elvis for three hours, let alone Gupt. Yet somehow there I was. Sometimes
I would semi-doze off into a serene, meditative state, and when I'd come to
the movie would still be chugging along, usually in the midst of song and
dance.
No matter what's happening in Gupt , there's always the danger of a
song breaking out. The hero goes shopping, and suddenly every grocery
clerk's tap-dancing in the produce section. The heroine's washing her
hair, and suddenly there's sixteen well-toned dancers getting funky in the
bathroom. The music actually wasn't so bad (though I'm sure it would've
been worse if I'd understood the sappy 'I wuv you' lyrics), but the dancing
was sub-par at best. The hero's 'dancing' was more of a tepid strut,
really. Sometimes he'd do something like throw both of his arms up at once
and that would be the highlight of his whole routine.
But wait, you say, at least Gupt was redeemed by the plot, right?
Shut up. The plot was,
Politician arranges marriage between his son (Hero) and some other
girl but son is in love with other girl (Bad Girl, though we don't know
this yet) and also Heroine love Hero, so anyway Hero gets mad and threatens
to kill father because of arranged marriage, but then someone really kills
father and Hero is framed and goes to prison and does a dance number then
escapes Shawshank Redemption style and then he's framed again and now he's
being hunted by the Indian version of Dirty Harry (this guy shoots somebody
like, every ten seconds; think 'McGarnikle' from the Simpsons") and
somehow the dead politician's locket is the key to who's really behind the
killings and the suddenly it turns out the Bad Girl has a fatal attraction
and she's been killing everybody to get to the Hero and that's when the
Hero decides he really loves the Heroine and the Bad Girl tries to kill her
but at the last minute Dirty Harry appears and shoots (natch) the Bad Girl
and they all live happily ever after except for the Bad Girl, who
unfortunately has a bullet in her head.
I just want to point out that I got all this without translation.
Tania and Mahesh told me some of what the characters were saying, but the
thing about this movie was, you didn't really need to pay attention to what
the characters were saying to follow. This is not a quality possessed by
your typical award-winning cinematic masterpieces.
With all this whining and beating of my breast, you might get the
impression that there was nothing good about this movie. That's not true;
some of the music was good, and there was a lot of nice scenery. Aside
from the acting, complete lack of plot, ridiculous dancing, interminable
dream sequences and unappealing stars, it wasn't so bad. And it was fun to
hang out with Pedro and Mahesh and Tania, and get a taste of something
different. Am I recommending Gupt? Yeah, like the Pope recommends
Trojans. But, not to damn it with faint praise or anything, I probably
would choose it over Viking torture.I can just see myself in the Gupt press
kit...
"Two thumbs up!" -- Siskel and Ebert
"A slam-bang thriller!" -- Gene Shalit
"I'd choose it over Viking torture!"
-- A.P.
--
- Mahesh Ajit R
mah...@cs.utexas.edu
http://www.cs.utexas.edu/users/mahesh
amar joshi
Gupt was indeed not so good. Go and see Border and you will change
your mind about Bollywood movies. Hollywood also makes the occasional
bad movie. Border is not so hectic a movie and builds up to a good
climax.
amar joshi
Padmanabhan Ganesan
amar joshi wrote:
>
> Gupt was indeed not so good. Go and see Border and you will change
> your mind about Bollywood movies. Hollywood also makes the occasional
> climax.
Bollywood makes an occasional OK movie - say like one in ten years.
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amar joshi
Padmanabhan Ganesan <padman...@merck.com> wrote:
>>I think it should read
Bollywood makes an occasional OK movie - say like one in ten years.<<
It is always a mistake to take people to see a Bollywood movie one has
not watched before as you never know if it is going to be a bad one.
I dragged my friends who dont understand Hindi into watching Virsat
, Judaii , Border and Raja Hindustani and they all enjoyed them
immensely. I think these four movies are a good way to get non
language speakers interested in Bollywood movies .
Recently I saw the Lost World and the Fifth Element -both very good
but I think only Hindi movies have the staying power where one can
watch them again and again .
What about other Ramliers -what Hollywood and Bollywood movies can
they watch again and again ( MF Hussain the painter is reported to
have seen HAHK over 50 times ! ) and never get bored ? Listening to
the excellent cassette of Dhal I think it may be another such movie.
Niraj Agarwalla
amar joshi (uki...@innotts.co.uk) wrote:
: It is always a mistake to take people to see a Bollywood movie one has
: not watched before as you never know if it is going to be a bad one.
: I dragged my friends who dont understand Hindi into watching Virsat
: , Judaii , Border and Raja Hindustani and they all enjoyed them
: immensely. I think these four movies are a good way to get non
: language speakers interested in Bollywood movies .
I would take them to go see Border. But there are plenty of good films to
watch. A Raj Kapoor film will do well. Or if you want to go the art film
route, try _Salaam Bombay_ or the Apu Trilogyies by Satyajit Ray.
: Recently I saw the Lost World and the Fifth Element -both very good
: but I think only Hindi movies have the staying power where one can
: watch them again and again .
It depends on the movie, of course. Both _The Lost World_ and _The Fifth
Element_ are sub-par movies at best. I have watched _Star Wars_ so many times I
have lost count. I have also watched _Sholay_ many,many
times
: What about other Ramliers -what Hollywood and Bollywood movies can
: they watch again and again ( MF Hussain the painter is reported to
: have seen HAHK over 50 times ! ) and never get bored ? Listening to
: the excellent cassette of Dhal I think it may be another such movie.
Why is HAHK is so popular? It is such a bad movie.
--
Niraj Agarwalla -- ni...@shore.net -- http://www.hardlink.com/~niraj
amar joshi
ni...@shore.net (Niraj Agarwalla) wrote:
>.Why is HAHK is so popular? It is such a bad movie.<<
It was the first movie without any negative roles . It showed
traditional wedding dances and other pre wedding events -eg the girls
excluding the boys from the room and putting on mock songs and
dances . There were no fights . The women were dressed in beautiful
traditional dresses. I only saw it once many years ago and would like
to see it again but they havent released it on video and maybe never
will.
Meenakshi Abbi
Niraj Agarwalla wrote:
>
>
> Yes, it is indeed a very "clean" movie compared to the usual
> schlock Bollywood puts out, but HAHK is still a bad movie. The story
> has no chance to develop because there are too many songs: about 10+,
> or so.
>
I think the movie did what it set out to do.
IT was a clean entertainment.
The characters developed as much as they had to.
Madhuri and Salman's characters started of as the kids
of the family, met each other, fell in love and slowly matured..
the movie was not deep and was not meant
to be deep.. it was a light entertainment.. with the songs developing
the story.IT was a musical as such..
Meenakshi
Niraj Agarwalla
amar joshi (uki...@innotts.co.uk) wrote:
Yes, it is indeed a very "clean" movie compared to the usual
schlock Bollywood puts out, but HAHK is still a bad movie. The story
has no chance to develop because there are too many songs: about 10+,
or so.
--