Dear Martin,
Very happy to hear are making good use of the qutip library. Thanks for citing us.
There are two control optimisation implementations in qutip. The main one uses scipy optimize, and mostly the quasi second order methods you mention. It is described in.
Also mentioned is the first order method. There are four example notebooks for this, including:
I don't think this first order method is widely used.
There are many methods available scipy optimize.
In theory, any of them can be used by the control.pulseoptim functions.
I don't know whether any of them would suit your requirement.
Alex