News of the Weird, March 28, 2010
Chuck Shepherd
by Chuck Shepherd
Copyright 2010 by Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.
Lead Story
* It's a simple recipe, said A-List New York City chef Daniel
Angerer: a cheese derived from the breast milk of his wife, who is
nursing the couple's three-month-old daughter. As a chef, he said,
"you look out for something new and what you can do with it," and
what Angerer could do is make about two quarts of "flavor[ful]"
cheese out of two gallons of mother's milk. "[T]astes just like really
sweet cow's milk." He posted the recipe, "My Spouse's Mommy
Milk Cheese," on his blog and invited readers' participation: "Our
baby has plenty [of] back-up mother's milk in the freezer, so
whoever wants to try it is welcome to try it as long as supply lasts
(please consider cheese aging time)." [New York, 3-2-10]
Cultural Diversity
* Florida's Agriculture Department, acting on a tip, confiscated
Giant African Snails believed to have been smuggled into the
country by Charles Stewart of Hialeah, Fla., for use in the religion
Ifa Orisha, which encourages followers to drink the snails' mucus
for its supposed healing powers. Actually, said the Department
(joined in the investigation by two federal agencies), bacteria in the
mucus causes frequent violent vomiting, among other symptoms.
At press time, Stewart had not been charged with a crime. [Miami
Herald, 3-10-10]
* A growing drug problem facing Shanghai, China, is stepped-up
use of methamphetamine, cocaine, and other drugs at all-night
parties, but not the "rave" parties favored by young fast-lane types in
the U.S. These Shanghai druggies, according to a February dispatch
in London's Guardian, are often middle-aged and retired people,
who use the drugs to give them strength for all-night games of Mah
Jongg played at out-of-the-way parlors around the city. [The
Guardian, 2-11-10]
* Modernization Kept at Bay: (1) Despite Fiji's strides into the 21st
century, the island nation's court system remains relatively
primitive, according to a January report from Agence France-Presse.
Transcriptions of court proceedings are still made by ordinary
reporters, writing out the dialogue by hand and thus calling on
judges, lawyers, and witnesses to periodically slow down or repeat
themselves when they speak. (2) Papua New Guinea retains many
of its historical tribal conflicts, and one flared up in January,
according to a dispatch by an Australian Broadcasting Corporation
reporter. Two people were killed in skirmishes that were provoked
in a quite contemporary way--when a member of one tribe sent the
member of another a pornographic text message. [Agence France-
Presse, 1-29-10] [Australian Broadcasting Corp. News, 1-27-10]
Latest Religious Messages
* Japan's Mantokuji temple in Gumma province was historically the
place where women went to cleanse themselves in divorce, aided by
the temple's iconic toilets, into which the bad spirits from the failed
liaisons could be shed and flushed forever. The toilets have been
modernized, according to a February Reuters dispatch, and today
the temple is used by the faithful to rid themselves of all types of
problems. (The upgrades also permitted a solution to a
longstanding annoyance at the temple, of visitors mistaking the
iconic toilets for regular commodes.) [Reuters, 2-26-10]
* American Taliban: (1) Michael Colquitt, 32, got a judicial order
of protection in January against his father, Baptist preacher Joe
Colquitt, in Alcoa, Tenn. According to Michael, Pastor Joe had
threatened him at gunpoint about his poor church-attendance record.
(2) Kevin Johnson, 59, was arrested in Madison, Wis., in February
and charged with using a stun gun repeatedly on a local dance
instructor, who Johnson believed was a "sinner" (also a "fornicator"
and a "peeking Tom") who "defiles married women" by teaching
them dances involving bodies touching. [Daily Times (Maryville,
Tenn.), 1-29-10] [Wisconsin State Journal, 2-9-10]
Child-Unfriendly Religions
* Jeff and Marci Beagley were sentenced to 16 months in prison in
March after a jury in Oregon City, Ore., found them guilty of
criminally negligent homicide in the death of their teenage son,
whose congenital urinary tract blockage was treated only with oils
and prayer prescribed by the Beagleys' Followers of Christ Church.
Doctors said the boy could have been saved with medical treatment
right up until the day he died. (The Beagleys' infant granddaughter
died in 2008 under similar circumstances, but no criminal
conviction resulted.) [CBS News-AP, 2-1-10]
* A 7-year-old girl died in February in Oroville, Calif., and her 11-
year-old sister was hospitalized needing critical care, after being
"lovingly" beaten by their adoptive parents, Kevin and Elizabeth
Schatz, who are followers of religion-based corporal punishment.
The Schatzes, as recommended by a fundamentalist website, had
whipped the girls with quarter-inch-wide plumbers' rubber tubing,
to supposedly make the children "happier" and "more obedient to
God." Criminal charges against the couple were pending at press
time. [Chico Enterprise-Record (Chico, Calif.), 2-12-10]
Questionable Judgments
* In December, in St. Tammany Parish, La., and in February, near
Miami Township, Ohio, men driving young female family members
around decided it would be cool to feign crimes as they drove. Tim
Williams, 45, was arrested in Louisiana after the sight of his duct-
taped 12-year-old daughter provoked at least three motorists to call
911. The Ohio man, detained by police after several 911 calls,
admitted that he had thought it would "funny" if his granddaughter
held a BB gun to his head as he drove around Dayton Mall. [Times-
Picayune, 12-31-09] [WHIO-TV (Dayton), 2-28-10]
Alcohol That Miracle Drug
* (1) Toni Tramel, 31, angry at being jailed in Owensboro, Ky., for
public intoxication in March, had "assaulting a police officer" added
to the charges when, changing into a jail uniform, she allegedly
pointed her lactating breast at a female officer and squirted her in
the face. (2) Deanne Elsholz, 44, was charged with domestic
battery in Wesley Chapel, Fla., in February after hitting her husband
David in the face with a glass. David, intoxicated, had enraged
Deanne by apparently completely missing the toilet bowl as he
stood to urinate. (Deanne then angrily charged after him but lost her
footing on the slippery floor.) [Herald-Dispatch (Huntington,
W.Va.), 3-6-10] [St. Petersburg Times, 2-17-10]
The Weirdo-American Community
* When the FBI finally concluded that the late-2001 anthrax scare
was the work of government scientist Bruce Ivins (who committed
suicide in 2008), the Bureau released its investigative files,
revealing personal activities that (according to Ivins's own
description) "a middle age man should not do." For example, Ivins
admitted to being a cross-dresser, and agents discovered
pornographic fetish magazines on "blindfolding or bondage" themes
and "15 pairs of stained women's panties." Ivins also admitted a
decades-long obsession with the sorority Kappa Kappa Gamma and
told agents how he broke into two chapters' houses to steal books on
KKG "rituals." [The Smoking Gun, 3-1-10]
Update
* In 2005, News of the Weird reported the bustling sales for artist
Erin Crowe's series of oil paintings of Federal Reserve Chairman
Alan Greenspan, who was then riding high, with Greenspan-
worshiping money managers quickly buying up her inventory for
thousands of dollars each. A Wall Street Journal reporter tracked
down Crowe and some of her customers in February 2010 and
found, obviously, subdued demand (with some customers having
hidden or discarded their Greenspans). Crowe said that one of her
Greenspan customers had recently asked her to paint a Ben
Bernanke for him, but for about half the fee that he had earlier paid
for a Greenspan. [Wall Street Journal, 2-19-10]
A News of the Weird Classic (February 1996)
* In January 1996, the Wall Street Journal reported on a growing
fetish surrounding the act of smoking. Examples: (1) An erotic
smoking video from an Oklahoma City firm, CoherentLight: "The
scene opens with a young blonde [Paula], dressed in a shimmering
strapless gown and a veiled black hat, lighting her cigarette from a
nearby candle," the Journal wrote. "She takes numerous long
drags." (2) A smokers' newsletter, with film reviews: Of the above
video, it wrote, "[Paula] is a fabulous smoker." Another review, of
the Hollywood movie "Mad Love": "Drew Barrymore smokes
throughout; there are many deep inhales, although the exhales aren't
great." [Wall Street Journal, 1-31-96]
Thanks This Week to Boris Compton, William Kuykendall,
Rove Monteux, Derek Costello, Michael Duhe, Graham Rankin,
Larry Seltzer, Peter Smagorinsky, Pete Randall, and John Holsinger,
and to the News of the Weird Board of Editorial Advisors.
* * * * *
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