Story question...

[Tim Cramm]

Hey all...
Thought I would take a break from counting the Woodside posts on my
desktop abacus to ask an actual writing question...
I am working on a story and telling it in a way which I am not sure would
be well received by a reader (although it does appeal to me). The story
alternates between present and past, back and forth, throughout. In the
present, there is a wake and then a funeral, while the past parts tell the
events leading up to the wake and funeral. I am having a hard time
describing this, so just let me post the whole thing here - it's only 30
pages so far...
Oops - just kidding there about posting it...
Anyway, let me give a brief picture of the structure:

Present
Past
Present
Past
Present
Past
and on and on and on

Each segment is short, lasting from just under a page to maybe two and a
half pages.

My question is this (I guess) - would you think this to be an overly
confusing way to tell the story? I want to do it this way to show how the
protagonist is reacting in the present without fully revealing why he is
that way until the end of the story. I want the audience to wonder just
what the relationship is between him and the dead person. But do you think
that the skipping back and forth so rapidly would detract from the story?
I have considered making the segments longer and fewer, but it doesn't (in
my mind at least) seem to move as quickly. I gave it to someone to read
and he said that, while the constant flipping back and forth in time kept
the story moving and interesting, he did on occasion get confused by it. I
am sure that other books have been written in this format.

Thanks for any advice, and BTW, I am opening an office in Florida and a
couple in New York and was wondering if anyone had any stories they might
like me to consider publishing...

Tim Cramm
(I must be crazy to print an offer like that...)

[bing...@earthlink.net]

Someone calling him/herself Tim Cramm wrote:

<snip>

> I am working on a story and telling it in a way which I am not
sure would
> be well received by a reader (although it does appeal to me). The story
> alternates between present and past, back and forth, throughout.

<snip>

> Anyway, let me give a brief picture of the structure:
>
> Present
> Past
> Present
> Past
> Present
> Past
> and on and on and on
>
> Each segment is short, lasting from just under a page to maybe two and a
> half pages.
>
> My question is this (I guess) - would you think this to be an overly
> confusing way to tell the story?

It's certainly been done effectively before. And maybe you could do it
effectively. I think the real question you need to ask yourself is: "Do I
want to stack the odds against myself?" If you're Stephen King (et al), go
for it. If it's a first novel, try amore traditional approach. I'm
assuming you want somebody to publish it and give you money for it.

--

Bob Langdon
bing...@earthlink.net

*Will work for sex.*

[Anthony Duggan]

Tim Cramm wrote;

> I gave it to someone to read
> and he said that, while the constant flipping back and forth in time
> kept
> the story moving and interesting, he did on occasion get confused by
> it. I
> am sure that other books have been written in this format.

'Lo, Tim.

Funny post, BTW. The proposed structure of your story reminds me of
John O' Hara's 'Ten North Frederick'. The story begins with a funeral,
attended by the major characters and then neatly deals with a kind
of city saga involving these characters up to the death of the lady
being buried. I wasn't overly impressed with the writing, but the
structure of the novel was interesting and I suggest that you take
a look at it ...

I reckon you have a difficult job on your hands (I am no expert, and
express this opinion only on the basis that I would find it difficult
to carry off!)

Perhaps if you alternated less between past and present, present the
changes as a refreshing break for the reader rather than an act of
discipline ...? Then again, you seem to be aware of the potential
difficulties with this structure, so no doubt you have the answer
swimming around somewhere in your mind. Check 'Ten North Frederick'
anyway :)

rgds

Anthony

'No symbols where none intended' -Samuel Beckett

[Tim Cramm]

Just wanted to thank everyone who replied. I am still tinkering with the
story, but I think generally I agree that it might be a bit of an ambitious
undertaking at this point in my career. But who knows? I also appreciate
all of the suggested readings offered up - I'll just add them to the pile
of books I still have yet to read here in the apartment (which I should
finish, if I get some reading in tonight, within the next ten years).
Seriously, though, I will check those out in hopes of seeing good writers
do what I am trying to do.

Tim Cramm
(insert pithy saying here...)

[John V Ashby]

In article 7d1a93cf@desktop, "Tim Cramm" <tlc...@worldnet.att.net> writes:
>Hey all...

> I am working on a story and telling it in a way which I am not sure would
>be well received by a reader (although it does appeal to me). The story

>alternates between present and past, back and forth, throughout. In the
>present, there is a wake and then a funeral, while the past parts tell the
>events leading up to the wake and funeral. I am having a hard time
>describing this, so just let me post the whole thing here - it's only 30
>pages so far...
> Oops - just kidding there about posting it...

> Anyway, let me give a brief picture of the structure:
>
> Present
> Past
> Present
> Past
> Present
> Past
> and on and on and on
>
>Each segment is short, lasting from just under a page to maybe two and a
>half pages.

Tim,

This is similar (though with briefer segments) to the structure I'm working on
(which also begins with a funeral: are you my clone or something?) It can work
very well, and the past segments don't necessarily have to be in order - memories
are often revealed non-sequentially. For models where it clearly works, look
at the books of Graham Swift (Waterland and Last Orders were Booker
nominee and winner respectively so he must be doing something right).

I've also experimented with a similar thing in a short story, where the
segment length is down to a few hundred words of memory flashes, and
the body of the present action is compressed to a few seconds. If you'd
like to see that I'll happily send it to you.

john (I think I've used up my quota of parenthetical comments in the post)