They are completely incorrect about the |.4| rule for exploratory models, because of the rotational indeterminacy issue. Unless they are referring to the raw slopes
after rotation, but even then I have not idea where that rule of thumb came from (there is no reference of that anywhere to my knowledge, and I would completely advise against it's use anyway since it's wholly arbitrary).
You should check the standardised solution first, not the raw coefficients, and more specifically check the standardized commonality value (h2, which is essentially an effect size ranging from 0 to 1) and the rotated factor loadings. The h2 value is actually the standardized MVDISC coefficient, which they may have heard of before. So, perhaps you should let them know, politely, that they are incorrect in their recommendation on where to start. MIRT is often just nonlinear factor analysis, and in that setting one should be looking at standardized estimates for EFA, and IRT is no different in that respect. Cheers.
Phil