Memorable dialogue from Lanza's films

[Derek McGovern]

Time for a fun thread, I feel. This is a revised version of a post that I wrote back in 2006 for the now-defunct Yahoo forum. I thought I'd rehash it and see if others here have any comments...

I guess it's safe to say that fine screenwriting and memorable dialogue aren't commonly associated with Lanza's films, but scattered throughout his seven movies are some enjoyable exchanges. Some of my favourites:

From For the First Time (admittedly, these play better in the film than they read! Lanza's delivery of all of them is rather good):

GLORIA [Zsa Zsa Gabor]: At least let me give you a lift on my yacht. These ferry boats are so crowded with people.

TONY [Mario]: I Know. And I've made an amazing discovery: I'm one of them!

Also:

TONY: I'm supposed to be here incognito -- [with exaggerated theatricality] hiding from a cruel, ungrateful world.
GLORIA: Must you hide alone?
TONY: No, no. [pause] Let's have a little supper on my terrace.
GLORIA: I think that's a brilliant idea.

And:

TONY: Christa, I got in big trouble last night.
CHRISTA: [Johanna von Koczian] [Smiling] I read the papers.

And from Serenade (richer pickings here!):

CHARLES WINTHROP [Vincent Price]: My dear Damon, you've become a controversial figure - "Peck's bad boy" of the opera. The mere announcement of your name will generate suspense: will you appear? Will you sing for one act or all three? You'd be amazed at the number of people who will buy tickets just to see those questions answered.
DAMON  [Mario Lanza]: (looking up at his wife) I think I can answer them now.
CHARLES: Oh, no, but you mustn't; you'll ruin the suspense for me, too.

And earlier in the same film:

DAMON: The Kendall Hale?
CHARLES: I'm sure if there were any others, she would have had them shot as imposters. [pause] She tells me you've met.
DAMON: Yes - at the vineyard. She remembers that?
CHARLES: For certain elements of trivia, Kendall has an encyclopedic memory.

And who can forget Price/Winthrop's wicked description of Jean Fenn's singing? 

She sounded like the brakes on the Rome Express.

Plus:

CAB DRIVER: Did you see the [boxing] fight tonight?
CHARLES: Just the 16th round.
CAB DRIVER: The 16th??
CHARLES [turning to Damon]: Rather crude, huh?
DAMON: It's that French wine.
CHARLES: Damon: may I say something?
DAMON: It's your cab.
CHARLES: You have a truly great voice. Dedicate yourself to it; make it your life. Don't let anything sidetrack you.
DAMON: [hesitantly] You wouldn't mean Kendall Hale, would you?
CHARLES: I've known Kendall since she was a child at her father's beachhouse in Newport. I would watch building beautiful castles in the sand - just for the exquisite pleasure of knocking them down.
DAMON: Like Marco Roselli tonight?
CHARLES: The latest in a long line of castles.

Any other favourite Lanza film moments, folks? We should probably include The Student Prince as well, since it arguably contains the most consistently witty dialogue of all Mario's potential screenplays (by the same duo who penned The Great Caruso).

Who can resist, for example, this exchange between the haughty John Williams and innkeeper S.Z. (Cuddles) Sakall: "If I were the King, I'd have you hanged." "If you were the King, I'd hang myself!"

And angry restaurant owner to the incognito Prince: "Who do you think you are: the Kaiser?!" "No, but you're getting warm."

Delightful!

[Jan Hodges]

Here's one from The Great Caruso   Maria Selka....'Tenor isn't a voice ..it's a disease. Take off your hat when you speak to a lady!" Mario goes storming off muttering in Italian and thumbing through his phrase book.gives up and finally says "In Italian I know the word"   That Midnight Kiss   Gleeson to Johnny at the truck depot "Jose Iturbi is here!"   Johnny "With the orchestra or without?" Is forced to turn round .Gives a sickly grin and a small wave to Iturbi Turns to Gleeson "I thought you were kidding"   There are also some gems in TONO but I will leave them to some one else to report. Jan

[ShawDAMAN]

Good choices so far- :-D

Although it's not much in the way of dialogue I like the scene at the
end of TONO- after the "Butterfly" performance he chases her around,
on and off the stage for a couple minutes, finally runs upstairs to
her room, busts the door down, and she says calmly-

"Did you want to see me?" LOL

Silly but cute ;-)

I'd have to think about this.....

[Mike McAdam]

One of my favourite Student Prince bits, between the King and Prince
Karl:

"Just what *have* you been doing, Karl?"
"Following your orders, grandfather"
"Never mind my orders, just do as I say!"
M.

[Derek McGovern]

Nice, Mike. Another exchange in The Student Prince that always tickles me is this droll one (when Prince Karl is trying to persuade Kathie to return to her Uncle's inn):

Karl Franz: This morning when I rang the bell do you know what happened? [Haughty valet] Lutz brought in my tray. 

Kathie: Well, you could always pinch Lutz.
Karl Franz: I could, but it wouldn't be as much fun.

By the way, Jan: that line in The Great Caruso about the tenor being not a voice "but a disease" wasn't original! The screenwriters lifted it from the 19th century composer-pianist Hans von Bülow.

[Tonytenor]

One of my favorites has always been from FTFT when Tony and Krista
come into a night club out of the rain and Tony (Mario) says, "Say,
this is a jumping joint!" I love that line and Mario's reading of
it. I must confess I use it often in my own life, much to the
amusement of my wife.

Cheers,

Tony

Oh, and here's an odd one: After the all-night party in SHOR, our gang
are on their way out for the helicopter tour of Rome. As they are
getting ready, Mario says, "May I change?" An odd line I think,
unless of course he spilled some marinara sauce on his shirt during
the late-night festivities.

[Derek McGovern]

Hi Tony: That line ("May I change first?") is actually spoken off
camera, and would have been added during post-production when the
producers balatedly realized that Mario's clothes are different in the
next scene! One of many slip-ups throughout the film! (The editing and
dubbing are also pretty sloppy.)

[Tonytenor]

Let's here it for CONTINUITY!!!! Or lack there of.

[Derek McGovern]

Whoops: make that "bElatedly" in my previous post.

Another favourite exchange -- this time between Dorothy and her pompous ass of a father, Park Benjamin, in The Great Caruso:

Dorothy: But I'm in love! The only thing that matters in a marriage is to be in love.
Benjamin: On the contrary, there are many more important values: dignity, good taste...a sense of the fitness of things.

Incidentally, I was surprised to find out that what I'd always regarded as one of the worst lines in the film -- Lanza/Caruso's "I brush my teeth too hard" (when he's explaining the blood in his mouth to Dorothy) -- was actually based on fact. The only difference was that, in real life, it was Dorothy who asked her husband if he'd been brushing too hard! I think this was mentioned in Dorothy Caruso's 1945 memoir.

[Derek McGovern]

Since it's quiet around here---our Northern Hemisphere members are probably all at the beach :)---I thought I'd revive this old thread. 

[norma]

I love the scene inTONO where Kathryn Grayson accuses Mario of something(I cannot remember the exact words) and he answers "mm mm.Then he says,"You don't teach me anything".He seems so happy when acting in this film.
Norma