So, from my understanding, the following is the case: starting ~windows 7 Microsoft started to deprecate DDE (Dynamic Data Exchange) which was a way to transport data between applications. There is/was a 'hack' one could apply to shortcuts and append something like `/dde %1` to the executable path in order to have it open new files in the same instance. However, this does not seem to work in any recent windows. Trying to Google for this will result in 99% Microsoft Excel results which, ironically, has a built-in option in the program which allows to toggle this behavior.
Sadly, Microsoft MVP in forums - in response to people complaining - points to program authors and denies any responsibility nor does it acknowledge that this behavior used to be different in earlier Windows (it was, you are not going mad and aren't mistaken).
From what I've found, there currently doesn't seem to be a solution out there but if there is one, it should be found in the registry likely. Explorer itself only allows this option for it's own fs objects and only for folders to open/not-open in new windows.
The only workable solution AFAIK is to drag the files from explorer onto Electron/LightTable, which will open up a new tab.