Re: [jewish-funerals] Digest for jewish-funerals@googlegroups.com - 2 updates in 1 topic

[Laurie Kurs]

The very essence of why our members of the chevre are moved to do what we do...is because the connction felt between the jewish values and tradtions that gave birth to tahara....and the continuation of that tradition is meaningful in a very personal, spiritual way.  Most of us are of the opinion, that though many people chose to do things in  their own way....their choices do not have to determine ours.  

Our choice is to cater to jewish females, and those who choose to continue the traditions that tahara traditionally incorporates, without feeling any of us feeling pressured to do that which to us would seemingly contradict the  tradition as we know it.  While we uphold everyone's right to their own expression...that right should not eliminate ours.  People are free to use the services of a chevre that is willing to do what they want.  If they can fnd one...good for them.  If they can't and chose to use us..it will be made clear,  for them to understood,  that this chevre "does it this way"  - without exceptions.  

 

Following our bylaws ensures that all maitas are treated with the utmost  - tradtional - respect.  But we are adament that somone who has different feelings is free to go somewhere else...but...IF they choose to use our chevre...it is what it is.

 

 

Laurie D-K

. 

 

 

 

 

 

Sent: Wednesday, December 02, 2015 at 6:06 AM

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Subject: [jewish-funerals] Digest for jewish-...@googlegroups.com - 2 updates in 1 topic

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• Tahara and cremation - 2 Updates

Tahara and cremation

"Klapper, David G." <david_...@med.unc.edu>: Dec 01 03:51PM Hi Ariel,   This, from your former community where we all wish you well! Our Chevra Kadisha (Conservative 'upstairs' and 'Orthodox' downstairs synagogue) long ago opted to neither perform t'hara when faced with cremation nor bury 'cremains' in the Hebrew Cemetery. Of the three rabbis associated with our synagogue, only one has told me he would perform an actual funeral service (at the funeral home, not in the synagogue), although I believe that all would officiate at a future 'memorial' service, should the family desire such. I liked the bnai mitzvot/McDonalds analogy and would certainly agree that times are changing and we need to change with them - for instance, we have just opened a new section of the cemetery and have marked out an area where we, for the first time in the very long history of our synagogue and cemetery, will allow the burial of interfaith couples. But for the time being, we have not changed our stance regarding cremation and burial of 'cremains'. For what it's worth, the funeral home (not Jewish) where we prepare bodies (t'hara, shrouds, kosher coffin) is perfectly capable of washing, reading prayers (in English), dressing in shrouds, and placing the body in a kosher coffin - they do that for some of the other synagogues around here and they do it for unaffiliated Jews who have passed but the local synagogues are not notified. So, is a t'hara performed by non-Jews still a t'hara? David Klapper

"Daniel Leger" <del...@verizon.net>: Dec 01 07:59PM -0500 I think David Klapper's post raises the conversation to another level. He asks if a tahara is a tahara if it is performed by non-Jews.   The values which drive our pluralistic, community chevra to perform this mitzvah for anyone who asks (see my earlier post) are strongly connected to our desire to have members of our Jewish community care for each other in this most intimate of expressions of hesed. We do our best to educate through outreach programs and individual conversations, but that does not mean much when a Jew is faced with a death in the family if s/he has not had the opportunity to sensitively explore how being Jewish in 21st century America converges with all the possibilities offered by the cultural landscape, including much misinformation about ecology related to cremation.   I recall that we recently performed a tahara for a met who was very obviously going to be dressed in a suit and placed in a fancy bronze casket for burial. We performed the tahara and did not interrogate anyone, although we were disappointed that we could not be the last ones to gently tuck him in.   The only time I actively intervened in such a situation was when I was asked to conduct a funeral for a met. I was a chaplain in a hospice at the time and the man had been a patient of mine. He had pre-paid years earlier for his funeral arrangements which had not included tahara but had included a fancy metal casket. In preparing for his burial I met with the family and in talking with them they came to the conclusion that tahara and a simple wooden aron were the most appropriate way to show honor and to proceed. They appreciated the values underlying the actions. The funeral home was more difficult to convince since the arrangements were prepaid and expressed by the deceased himself, albeit years earlier. Ironically, due to the differences in costs over time, the revised plan (tahara and plain wood aron) required additional payment (this had nothing to do with the tahara - we charge no fee.) The family was comforted by having understood the traditional approach to burial in a manner that the deceased had not had the opportunity to learn during his lifetime.   Again I wish to say that our over-riding attitude is respect and honor of the dead before us, and, as much as we possibly and respectfully can, responding to the request without judgment. We need to reach out and sensitively educate as early as we can, provide supportive comfort and not alienate and drive people away from our precious community by making demands at times of exquisite vulnerability.   Dan Leger   Pittsburgh     From: jewish-...@googlegroups.com [mailto:jewish-...@googlegroups.com] On Behalf Of Klapper, David G. Sent: Tuesday, December 1, 2015 10:51 AM To: jewish-...@googlegroups.com Subject: RE: [jewish-funerals] Tahara and cremation     Hi Ariel,     This, from your former community where we all wish you well! Our Chevra Kadisha (Conservative 'upstairs' and 'Orthodox' downstairs synagogue) long ago opted to neither perform t'hara when faced with cremation nor bury 'cremains' in the Hebrew Cemetery. Of the three rabbis associated with our synagogue, only one has told me he would perform an actual funeral service (at the funeral home, not in the synagogue), although I believe that all would officiate at a future 'memorial' service, should the family desire such.   I liked the bnai mitzvot/McDonalds analogy and would certainly agree that times are changing and we need to change with them - for instance, we have just opened a new section of the cemetery and have marked out an area where we, for the first time in the very long history of our synagogue and cemetery, will allow the burial of interfaith couples. But for the time being, we have not changed our stance regarding cremation and burial of 'cremains'. For what it's worth, the funeral home (not Jewish) where we prepare bodies (t'hara, shrouds, kosher coffin) is perfectly capable of washing, reading prayers (in English), dressing in shrouds, and placing the body in a kosher coffin - they do that for some of the other synagogues around here and they do it for unaffiliated Jews who have passed but the local synagogues are not notified. So, is a t'hara performed by non-Jews still a t'hara?   David Klapper   -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "jewish-funerals" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to jewish-funera...@googlegroups.com <mailto:jewish-funera...@googlegroups.com> . For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.

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[Judith Wouk]

Hi, all,

I am new to this list, but it was suggested that you might be able to
help me.

I have been asked to create a 30-40 minute ritual for the 7th of Adar
“dedicated to honouring chevra kadisha work in some way” to a group of
about 20 women who are steeped in Jewish lore but with no involvement
(that I know of) and with various levels of knowledge about and interest
in CK work. I am taking the class in tahara at the Gamliel Institute,
and have read a number of descriptions, but have never attended one.

Suggestions welcome. Thanks.

Judith Maeryam
Ottawa, Ontario

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[Klapper, David G.]

At our synagogue, we sponsor a kiddush on the shabbat closest to 7 Adar - during services that day, the gabbai has arranged for the aliyoth to be given to Chevra Kadisha members. The rabbi, as well, delivers a sermon related to the work of our Chevra Kadisha. That sermon, as well as comments either by or on behalf of those honored on the bimah, serve as an important recruiting tool and will be followed either the next day (Sunday) or another Sunday within a few weeks by a more formal program presented by our Chevra Kadisha to help take the 'mystery' out of what we do and recruit new Chevra Kadisha members.

David Klapper
________________________________________
From: jewish-...@googlegroups.com [jewish-...@googlegroups.com] on behalf of Judith Wouk [bt...@ncf.ca]
Sent: Tuesday, January 12, 2016 4:34 PM
To: jewish-...@googlegroups.com
Subject: [jewish-funerals] creating a ritual

Hi, all,

Suggestions welcome. Thanks.

Judith Maeryam
Ottawa, Ontario

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[malk...@aol.com]

hi judith,

welcome to the list.  our chevra kadisha in pittsburgh (The New Community Chevra Kadisha)is a community chevra. Each year, we have a dinner and program on the sunday, closest to the 7th of adar.  we invite our spouses/partners.  it is a wonderful opportunity  to come together in a social setting.  last year we initiated a new ritual - reading the names of the deceased for whom we performed taharah during the previous year and lighting a candle. we usually have a speaker.  last year, a professor spoke about the history of c/k; this year the topic of the talk will be the vanishing small town jewish communities in western pa and preserving their legacy. the speaker is doing research on this topic. in other years, our observance of adar 7 was extended for the weekend with programs for the community with a visiting scholar whom we brought in.

be well,

malke frank