Additional Names on Existing Matzevah

[Carol Hochstadt]

We're wondering how other cemeteries handle requests to add names to an existing headstone (for people not buried at our cemetery)?

We have no problem with those who want to inscribe the name of a relative who perished in the Holocaust.

Our policy is that in order for a name "in memory of" to be added to a stone, that person would have to have been eligible to be buried in that particular cemetery.  So the non-Jewish grandchild (based on matrilineal descent) of a Jewish person buried in our Conservative cemetery could not be inscribed on the stone.

But we have a new issue -- what if someone was Jewish, and could have been buried in our cemetery.  But instead, he or she chose to be cremated.  We don't allow cremated remains in the Conservative cemetery -- so you could say that this person became ineligible (after death) to be buried in our cemetery.  What if the family later wants to add this Jewish person's name 'in memory of' to the stone of another buried family member?   Would your Conservative cemetery allow this?

If memory serves, some cemeteries limit the number of 'additional' names that may be added to an existing stone (e.g. 2 extra names).

We would appreciate if other cemeteries would share their policies with respect to these issues.

Thank you.....Carol Hochstadt, Chairman.....Kol Ami Cemetery Association (Salt Lake City)

[Lawrence, Leonard]

Hi Carol

 

Great question – we will permit an “in memorium” on the tablets – remember we are a memorial park so everything is “flat” – no headstones. The number of names is limited by the size of the tablet so usually no more than two will fit.

 

In addition, while we are owned and operated by a conservative synagogue we will bury the non-Jewish spouse with the Jew.

 

As an aside, I notice on your web site that you have made searches for graves available on Jewish Gen – How was that decision arrived at and why? We are looking into such issues now.

 

Thanks and be well.

 

Len Lawrence

 

llaw...@mountsinaiparks.org

Direct line;  323-769-1301

Cell; 323-974-0283

Main; 323-469-6000

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[Sandy Rife]

Ay Mt Sinai in Phoenix, AZ, we do not have the large family monument with names and footstones. Our monuments are only engraved with the names of those buried in the graves below it. We do not allow cenotaphs – names on the stone of those buried elsewhere. We have a granite Legacy Book, where names of Jewish loved ones buried elsewhere in the world can be memorialized with a beautiful bronze plaque. This can satisfy the memorialization of a Jewish person who has been cremated as well.

Sandy Rife

General Manager

 

From: jewish-...@googlegroups.com [mailto:jewish-...@googlegroups.com] On Behalf Of Carol Hochstadt
Sent: Sunday, December 04, 2016 9:40 PM
To: jewish-...@googlegroups.com
Subject: [jewish-funerals] Additional Names on Existing Matzevah

 

We're wondering how other cemeteries handle requests to add names to an existing headstone (for people not buried at our cemetery)?

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[Klapper, David G.]

​This is a really interesting question - and not one that we've faced in the 130 or so years of our cemetery (Durham Hebrew Cemetery).  But we will surely talk about it!  What we do have, in addition to the yahrzeit board in the synagogue (Beth El), is a 'memorial wall' in our cemetery - it was designed as a place to inscribe exactly the sorts of names you're talking about - deceased buried elsewhere and deceased who were cremated so there is no monument to visit.  We have an annual cemetery visitation and the 'wall' gives congregants an opportunity to visit something physical at our cemetery along with congregants who have relatives buried here and can visit an actual tombstone.  The 'wall' was designed for up to 4 names per 'face' and a place to leave stones for each individual inscribed on the 'face'.

Not exactly an answer to your question - but a viable alternative  to adding names to a particular tombstone.

David Klapper

Chair, Chevra Kaddisha

Beth El synagogue, Durham, N.C.

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From: jewish-...@googlegroups.com <jewish-...@googlegroups.com> on behalf of Lawrence, Leonard <LLaw...@mountsinaiparks.org>
Sent: Tuesday, December 6, 2016 1:30 PM
To: jewish-...@googlegroups.com
Subject: RE: [jewish-funerals] Additional Names on Existing Matzevah

 

[Joel Etra]

Here's how we feel and it's clearly not for everyone. If a person buys a plot from us and erects a stone, they can put any names on it that they want. This gives comfort to the family and that is the business we are in. More than a few feet away and nobody can read a stone anyway. 

Our only restriction is on non-Jewish religious symbols. 

Dr. Joel Etra

Www.EtraSpeech.com

Sent from my iPad

[Libby Bottero]

Our practice in Eugene, Oregon is the same as Joel Etra describes.  Add any names wanted, including those buried or cremated elsewhere to honor their memories, just no religious symbols inconsistent with Judaism.

Libby Bottero