One time someone called me from a small town in a remote location -- I
don't remember all the details now -- but the gist of the situation is
that an elderly Jewish woman had died and was at the funeral home. Her
elderly husband was not Jewish and they did not raise their kids as
anything nor did she express any interest in anything Jewish. However,
he said that the only thing she asked for was "something Jewish" when
she died out of respect for her parents. She was going to be buried the
next day in the rural country cemetery. So to make it short, I talked
with the husband and the daughter (they had both been bathing and caring
for the woman at home near the end) and the funeral home director.
Between the three of them, they bathed her, then poured the requisite
amount of water for taharah over her while saying "she is pure". They
wrapped her in a plain white cotton sheet, and used a second sheet for a
sovev in the plain wooden coffin. The funeral home had a copy of the
23rd psalm which is so often recited at Christian burials, so they said
the 23rd psalm and the Shema. It was simple and meaningful for them,
and they felt that they had at least done something to honor her last
wishes. The family wrote a nice letter expressing their gratitude, and
the daughter said that because of the experience, she intended to learn
more about her mother's Jewish background...one door closes, another
door opens...
As we so often say in this business...we do the best we can...sometimes
under unusual circumstances. Each situation is unique, and each human
being is unique. The important thing is that at least she got
taharah...maybe not in the usual way...but better than nothing...and
their hearts were in the right place.
By the way, in my many years of working as a nurse at hospitals and
clinics, I too have baptized at the request of the individual or family
in an urgent situation, making it clear to them that I am not a
Christian, but I believe that there is One God, which is good enough for
most folks. I figure the same holds true for the Jewish woman whose
taharah was done with the loving assistance of non-Jews whose spiritual
intention was pure.
Libby