Hello Ariel,
I am a member of a community based, pluralistic, non-synagogue based chevra kadisha whose participants come from all corners of Jewish practice and observance. Our attitude generally is guided by two values: respect for the dead before us, and response to those who request our performance of the mitzvah. We are almost always called by one of the local (and some not so local!) funeral homes, although our educational outreach and member-connections within local congregations will make families aware of what we do so that they ask for us (or the other local exclusively orthodox member chevra kadisha) to perform tahara.
We know very well that we have been called to perform tahara for women and men who will have been cremated, redressed in street clothes after tahara, buried in metallic caskets, “viewed”, embalmed, etc. Again, our attitude is not to ask questions but rather perform the mitzvah when asked. We know that some of our local cemeteries and rabbis require tahara. We also know that some families have divisive opinions among themselves, sometimes involving the wishes of the deceased.
We do not “interview” the requestors. We respond to the request with respect.
Hope this helps.
Dan
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November 29, 2015 at 7:12 AM
I think David Klapper’s post raises the conversation to another level. He asks if a tahara is a tahara if it is performed by non-Jews.
The values which drive our pluralistic, community chevra to perform this mitzvah for anyone who asks (see my earlier post) are strongly connected to our desire to have members of our Jewish community care for each other in this most intimate of expressions of hesed. We do our best to educate through outreach programs and individual conversations, but that does not mean much when a Jew is faced with a death in the family if s/he has not had the opportunity to sensitively explore how being Jewish in 21st century America converges with all the possibilities offered by the cultural landscape, including much misinformation about ecology related to cremation.
I recall that we recently performed a tahara for a met who was very obviously going to be dressed in a suit and placed in a fancy bronze casket for burial. We performed the tahara and did not interrogate anyone, although we were disappointed that we could not be the last ones to gently tuck him in.
The only time I actively intervened in such a situation was when I was asked to conduct a funeral for a met. I was a chaplain in a hospice at the time and the man had been a patient of mine. He had pre-paid years earlier for his funeral arrangements which had not included tahara but had included a fancy metal casket. In preparing for his burial I met with the family and in talking with them they came to the conclusion that tahara and a simple wooden aron were the most appropriate way to show honor and to proceed. They appreciated the values underlying the actions. The funeral home was more difficult to convince since the arrangements were prepaid and expressed by the deceased himself, albeit years earlier. Ironically, due to the differences in costs over time, the revised plan (tahara and plain wood aron) required additional payment (this had nothing to do with the tahara – we charge no fee.) The family was comforted by having understood the traditional approach to burial in a manner that the deceased had not had the opportunity to learn during his lifetime.
Again I wish to say that our over-riding attitude is respect and honor of the dead before us, and, as much as we possibly and respectfully can, responding to the request without judgment. We need to reach out and sensitively educate as early as we can, provide supportive comfort and not alienate and drive people away from our precious community by making demands at times of exquisite vulnerability.
Dan Leger
Pittsburgh
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