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No matter your sexual preference and lifestyle choices, relationships have similar joys and frustrations. Please read the following conflict and provide us with your feedback.
He said: I bring home the main part of the income so I expect you to do the bulk of the housework. I will help on my days off but I can’t do everything.
He said: If you wanted a woman, then get one. I have lots of responsibilities of my own and housework will have to wait when everything else gets taken care of.
He said: Your “everything else” is what? Shopping, buying groceries which means more shopping, making sure the cars are clean and washed (run them through the car wash every now and then), and the other stuff that you CHOOSE to do.
He said: These are not choices but that’s your opinion. Plus my part time job is a huge load on my shoulders too.
He said: That’s another choice. You choose to be a chef part time. I never told you that you have to. That’s what you wanted to do and I support you.
He said: Is it really a choice when that income goes to paying the bills? If it really is a choice than I would be home full time and taking care of everything including all the house work.
He said: Well, yeah your pay does go toward the monthly bills but I’d say part of it goes to things that aren’t necessary such as clothes and accessories for you, extra little weekend trips and dining out. Those are nice things and all a part of enjoying life. I am thankful for your work and that you love what you’re doing. I appreciate that you make extra income so that we can have some extras in our life.
He said: Thank you for telling me that. But I still don’t know how I can do all or most of the house work.
He said: Can you put some of your other things down lower on your list of priorities? Like caring for your mom. I know that’s important. That’s HUGE, I understand. But I really think you should talk to your sisters about helping out more and/or having your mom do more things for herself because you’re just making it worse when you do everything for her. She has got to keep living and keep being active or her health will get worse.
He said: I don’t think you really understand. Your parents are both still alive and traveling the world. You really don’t get that my sisters are incapable and unwilling to help. As you know, I’ve gone ’round and ’round with them about Mom but that only leads to big arguments then not talking for months and no help with Mom. I can’t just leave her to die. How can you be so insensitive?
He said: I’m not being insensitive. How many times have I dropped everything to help you help your mother? I can’t believe you’d even say I’m insensitive about your mom! Let’s see about getting some counseling and some help with your mother and about how to get this issue situated. Once again, I want to remind you that I will help out with the house work, as I’ve always done, when I can. Don’t forget that.
He said: Well, okay but I don’t know how this is going to work out because we’ve gone on and on about trying to figure this very same thing time and time again. (Sigh.)
Koopa says: We all face issues, conflicts and disagreements in our relationships. Communication is key. If things can’t be sorted out between the two of you, it is wise to get the advice and help of others.