Extract from the book on children psycology

[Mark Segal]

You have to understand the essence of this question that we can't stand, considering
his extra.
 If the mother or the teacher said so it must be true.
 The child is not already convinced, that each man has only a part
knowledge, and, for example, the coachman knows about horses even more than father. Then, not
anyone who knows will tell you. Sometimes they don't want, sometimes they want to adapt
the truth to children's level, often hide it or deliberately
falsify.
 In addition to knowledge, there is still a belief: one believes, the other does not, grandma
believe in dreams, mother-no.
 Who is right?
 Finally, there is a lie in the form of jokes and lies, to boast.
 - Is it true that the earth-ball?
 All they say is true. But when someone one say that is not true,
will remain a shadowdoubt.
 - You were in Italy, it is true that Italy is like a boot?
 The child wants to know, have you seen it yourself or know from others, how
know. Wants the answers were short and sure, clear,
truthful, serious and honest.
 - As a thermometer measures temperature?
 One says: mercury other: Quicksilver (why live?), third, that
body expand (is a thermometer-body?), and fourth: you will know when you grow up.
Tale about a stork offends and Angers the children, like any playful response to
serious question, such as "where do babies come from?" or "why did the dog barks at
cat?".
 - Don't want to talk, don't ease me the job, but why would you
hinder me why laugh
 what I want to know?
 Child, revenging the companion, speaks:
 - I know, but time you such, I will not say.
 In punishment will not tell. But adults-something for which he is being punished?
 Here are a few beginner questions:
 No one in the world knows? You can't know?
 - Who said it? All or just one? It always happens? It has
to be?

 Is it possible?
 Not allowed because sin is harmful, because ugly,
because too small, because it is not allowed, period.
 And then there is the questionable and confusing issues. Sometimes something turns out to be
harmful just because mom's in a bad mood. At other times-allow
and a little, because the father in good mood or guests.
 - Why do they prohibit, what they, it interferes with that?
 Happiness that the recommended sequence theory in practice
impossible. Because I don't want
 you enter the child in life with belief that everything is fair,
reasonably, properly, reasonably and consistently? In educational theory, we often
forget that should teach your child not only to appreciate the truth, but
detect lies, not only to love but also to hate, not only to respect, but
and despise, not only to accept but to argue, not only to obey, but
and to rebel.
 We often see adults who are offended when we ought not
to ignore, despise, when we ought to sympathize. Because
the area of the negative feelings we are taught, because teaching us the alphabet of life,
we teach only a few letters, others are hidden from us. What
amazing, if we read the book of life with errors? The child feels
the bondage, suffers because of the chains, torn to freedom, but acquires it because
the shackles, changing form, do not change substantive prohibition and coercion
remain. We cannot change our adult lives, because they were brought up
in captivity, we can't give the child freedom, while they themselves live in chains.
 If I was expelled from education everything that before time constrains
my child, it would have caused severe disapproval of his peers, and
adults. Is the need for a new route, the hardships of the movement
against the run wouldn't be hard more more serious? How bitterly paying the price
in boarding schools the recent voluntary rural courtyards for several
years of relative freedom in the field, the stable, human...
 I wrote this book in field hospital under the roar of cannons during the war.
 One program Forbearance was lacking.

 Why girl in neutral age is so different from the
the boy?
 Because, in addition to overall child deprivation, it is susceptible
additional restrictions as a woman. The boy, deprived of rights because of
 the fact that he is a child, with both hands seized  privileges of the floor and not
wants to share with age.
 - I can, I can, I'm a boy.
 The girl is the black sheep in their midst. One in ten will ask:
 - Why is she with us?
 Should a quarrel arise, which the boys themselves honestly,
sparing the feelings of another, threatening him with exile, like for girls instantly
ready harsh sentence:
 - Not like-go to the girls.
 Girl, preferring to play with boys on the suspicion and
your own environment:
 - I don't want to go to their boys.
 Exile is responsible for the scorn  contempt is a protective reaction hurt
pride.
 Rare a girl will not fall in spirit, will be able to ignore the opinions of others,
rise above the crowd.
 What resulted from the hostility of the majority of the children to the girl who
prefers to play with boys? Probably, I am not mistaken, asserting that it
hostility has created a harsh, strict law:
 Shame on the girl, if a boy see her knickers.
 Of this act in the form which it took among children, could not
to invent the adults.
 The girl can not normally run, because if she falls, 
before she has time to to send dress, what we call evil:
 Panties, panties!
 - Lie!-Or defiantly: "all right." -she says, blushing,
embarrassed, humiliated, suffering. If she happens to get into a fight, is the same
the shout will scold, insult and paralyzes her. Gradually and girls are not
such nimble as the boys, which means that they are less worthy of respect. They are not
fight, but be offended, swear, and roar tattletale. And then there's adults
demand respect
 to the girls. The joy with which the children speak about somebody in adults:
 He's nobody to me. It I don't need to obey.
 And the girl he should give - what?
 Until we liberate girls from the clutches of "this is indecent", the origins of
which in their clothing, do not try to become
the friends of the boys. We solved this problem in their own way: the boys grew
long hair, wrapped them the same dense network of rules and
now let them play together. Instead of raising courageous
daughters, we have doubled the number of effeminate sons.
 Short dresses; swimwear, sports suits: new dances-bold
attempts to solve Powel - the basics. Many proposals in the fashion
hidden thoughts? Hope it's not frivolity.
 Do not be offended and criticize: in the discussion of the so-called
we are sensitive topics, true to the superstition, stored carefully.
*
 I would not attempt to resume the discussion of all stages of the development of all
children in a short brochure.

 The child who at first joyfully floating on the surface of life, not seeing
its gloomy depths, treacherous currents, secret monsters, hidden hostile
forces, trustingly, multicolor smiling admiringly wonders, suddenly
blue awakens from drowsiness, and, with staring eyes, with bated
breath, with trembling lips, whispering anxiously:
 - What is it? why? why? Swinging drunk, blind man with a stick gropes
the road, the epileptic falls on the sidewalk, the offender leads to prison, the horse
dead, cock-stabbed.
 - Why? What is all this? Father scolded, mom still crying, crying. Uncle
kissing the maid, she threatens him with a finger, they laugh, look into the eyes of each
other. Excitedly talking about someone who was born under an evil star, and
him for that feet have to break.
 - What is it, why?
 He and you do not ask, dare. It feels small, lonely and
helpless in the face of mysterious forces.
 He, a former first Lord, the desire of which was the law, armed
her tears and smile with her mom, dad, nanny, suddenly realized that
it's not for him and he for them, that they took him for their own
entertainment. Sensitive, intelligent dog, as the captive Prince, he looks
in the world around them, stares at the world around them, peering in.
 They know something, they're hiding something. They are not what you call yourself, and
they demand that and it was not what actually is. They advocate
the truth and lie to themselves and force others to lie. They are completely different
talking with children and with each other. They laugh at the children. They have some
own life, and they get angry when the child wants to get into it, they want
to believe them at their word, they rejoice when a naïve question, he
finds his misunderstanding.
 Death, animals, money, truth, God, woman, the mind of all impurity
however, some bad riddles, humiliating secrets. Why don't they want
to say how things really are?
 And the baby sadly recalls his early childhood.

 The second period of an unbalance about which I can say for certain
only that he exists, I called the school. This name-excuse,
name-the ignorance, the name-retreat, one of a set of names, labels,
which science puts into circulation, cheating bozos, pretending to be omniscient,
when barely starting to guess.
 School unbalance is not a fracture on  the border of infancy and
early childhood and maturity.
 Physical: deterioration in appearance, sleep, appetite,
 reduced resistance to disease, the emergence of hidden before
hereditary defects, poor health.
 Of mental loneliness, emotional disorder, hostility to the environment,
the malleability of moral contagion, rebellion against innate tendencies
educators imposed influences.
 What happened to him? I don't know--characterizes his mother.
Sometimes:
 - I thought it was moods, angry, and scolded him, and he, have been
was already sick.
 A surprise for the mother is a close link between seen
physical and mental changes.
 I attributed this to the influence of bad companions.
 Yes, but why among the many classmates he picked a bad,
why is it so easily able to bend it to our will, make them listen to us?
 The child, feeling the pain of separation from the most loved and still poorly
fused with children's choir, is experiencing the great suffering that
him angry, I didn't want to help him no one to turn to for advice
no one to praulitis, no one to lean on.
 When you see these sudden changes in the orphanage, where many children
out of a hundred where today one, tomorrow another suddenly "goes bad", it becomes for no reason
a sudden lazy, awkward, Moody, sleepy, irritable,
undisciplined, deceitful, a year from now again to find a balance,
"correct", it is difficult to doubt that these changes depend on the process
growth, some of which give objective impartial
parameters: weight and dimensions.
 I think the time will come when the weight, size, may or mayother
discovered by human genius, the settings will become the seismograph of the hidden forces
the body will not only
 to recognize and to anticipate trends in the development of personality.

 Is not true that the child wants a star from the sky that he could be bought
flattery and complaisance, that he is the congenital anarchist. No, the child has
a sense of duty, not imposed by force, tends to order, refuses
from rules and responsibilities. He only wants the burden was not excessive,
so it didn't break his spine, so he understood when
staggered, slipped, tired and stops to catch his breath.
 "Try it, see if can move, how many steps will pass with
the cargo will be able to do so much every day"-this is the basic principle
ortopedii.
 The child wants to be treated seriously, want trust, want
to help us help and advice. We treat him lightly,
continually we suspect, we push away don't understand, refuse to help.
 The mother doesn't want to bring facts to the Doctor to whom came for advice,
says generally:
 - Nervous, whimsical, disobedient.
 - The facts, mA'am, call the symptoms and not the diagnosis.
 - Bitten friend. Am ashamed to say. But he loves her, always with her
plays.
 A five-minute conversation with the girl, and it turns out she hates a "friend",
which laughing at her, over her dresses, and mother called "repichnia".
 Another example: the child is afraid to sleep alone in the room, comes in
despair at the thought of the approaching night.
 Why didn't you tell me? Yes exactly what I said. And the mother drew
attention:
 shame, such a big boy, and is afraid that all of her reaction.
 Third example: he spat in Bonn, yanked her hair, with difficulty tore.
 Bonn and at night took him to bed and told me to pull over, threatened that
ban him in the chest, taken away and thrown into the river.
 Strikingly alone can be the child of his suffering...

 The period of reconciliation and calm. Even nervous children become
calm. Returns vitality, mobility of children, the harmony of life
functions. Appear and respect for elders, and obedience, and good
mood, disappeared painful questions, whims, pranks. Parents again
happy. The child outwardly assimilated in the family and the environment using
relative freedom, not requires more hesitant to Express their
glances, knowing that they will be taken with hostility. The school with its powerful
traditions, noisy and emotional life, routines, worries,
defeats and victories, the book made the content of life. The facts do not
leave time for waiting.
 Now the child already knows. Knows he's not the dog in the world and the order that
there are good and evil, knowledge and ignorance, justice and
injustice, freedom and dependence. To understand something he does not understand, Yes
and that him, in the end, before all of this? He says Yes to everything, floats on
.
 The result? We have to pray that in doubtful cases the prayer to reinforce
charity, we all do. Sin? Repent and God will forgive.
 Death? Well, you need to cry, to mourn, to sigh to remember, so
all you're doing.
 They want it to be exemplary, approximate, cheerful, naive,
thankful parents, well, health.
 "Please, thank you, excuse me, mommy told me to bow, I wish from
all heart (and not one half)" it's so simple, easy, but
earn praise, alone you will leave.
 He knows to whom, how and with what please contact, how
to be turned out from unpleasant situation, than to please, and only makes a good point,
whether...
 Good mental well-being, physical well-being make it
tolerant, inclined to make concessions; parents, in fact, good, world, at all
speaking, not a bad life, if you do not pay attention to the particular beautiful.
 This phase, which can be used by parents to prepare
herself and the child to confront its new challenges, is a period of naive
peace and serene relaxation.
 "Helped arsenic or iron, a good teacher, skates, stay on
dacha, a confession, parent morality".
 Parents and child are deceiving themselves that they have already agreed on everything,
that overcame all the difficulties, meanwhile, is near the hour when no less important
than growth, but only the least mastered modern man feature
breeding will begin to tragically complicate ongoing function
 development of personality, confuse and tempt the soul to the body.

 Again-just an attempt to learn the truth, fine relief in her
understanding the danger  to fall into the misconception that this is the truth, here,
while we have only a shadow, only a few lines total
circuit.
 Neither the period of deviation, nor the period balance are not
the explanation of the phenomenon, this is only his well-known existence. Secrets
which we took possession, we expunge as an objective mathematical formula,
the same, against which we are helpless, confuse and irritate us.
Fire, flood, hail is a disaster, but only in respect of losses that
they bring, and so we organize the fire Department, buildingdam
insured and protected. We have adapted to the spring and autumn. With a man
we fight to no avail, because, not knowing him, not know how to organize
harmonic dorms.
 Hundred days conduct by spring. There is not a single blade of grass, not a single Bud, and
already in the ground and the roots sounds the order of the spring, which is concealed in shelter,
shaking, waiting, getting stronger under snow, in the bare branches, frosty
whirlwind to suddenly to bloom magnificently and brightly. Only superficial
the supervision sees a disorder in changeable weather day in March. There
in the depths, hidden, that ripens steadily from hour to hour, is built in the ranks
and accumulate, we just don't know how to separate iron law
astronomical years from his occasional, fleeting perekrashivaniya with the law
less known or not known at all.
 Between periods of life there is a demarcation poles, we put them so
same as the map of the world painted in different colors by setting artificial boundaries
States, changing them once in a certain number of years.
 He from this will grow. This is a transitional age. A hundred times change.
 And educator with a condescending smile waiting for himhelp
happy accident and the process of growth.
 Each researcher loves the work for torments of the search and purpose
fight, but the man is honest and hates it--he's afraid of bugs
which makes, likely. which will create.
 Every child is going through periods of fatigue senile and completeness
life, but that does not mean that we should condone or tremble,
just as does not mean that you should fight or slow down. Heart
keep up with the growth, so we need to give it a rest. Maybe
on the contrary-encourage more active  action. to be strong as
should? This problem can only be solved individually in each specific
case and at any given moment, if only we won
the child's trust, and he deserves our faith.
 But first of all you need to know science.