ROZ EK SHER : Nida Fazli

[Manish Modi]

हम लबों से कह न पाये उनसे हाले-दिल कभी 

और वो समझे नहीं यह ख़ामोशी क्या चीज़ है 

~ निदा फ़ाज़ली 

ہم  لبوں سے که نہ پاے انسے ہالے-دل کبھی 

اور وہ سمجھے نہیں یہ خاموشی کیا چیز ہے 

~ ندا فاضلی 

hum labon se kah na paaye unse haale-dil kabhii

aur vo samjhe nahiin ye khaamoshii kyaa chiiz hai

~ Nida Fazli

I never could reveal my feelings to her

And she could not understand what my silence was trying to convey...

NB Living as we do in a cruelly competitive world, we are constantly exposed to intense pressure. We are forever playing catch-up with the guys ahead of us. "Do not look back!" we are taught. "Never lose sight of the goal!", is drilled into us. Ignore your niggles and pains, submerge your fears in large doses of television viewing, internet surfing and online shopping is the unsaid message. 

"Everyone else is doing the same," we are told. "Everything will work out just fine, just pay not heed to your trauma, disregard your gut instinct and work harder, work longer hours and stay focused on games of oneupmanship if you want to make it in this dog-eat-dog world." 

Most of us accept this misguided advice as gospel and stagger through life trying to accommodate the incessant demands of increasingly complicated careers confounded by irate bosses and recalcitrant juniors. We never slow down. We never stop to listen to our own hearts! 

Most of us walk on this harebrained career path and somehow manage to retain our sanity, or so we believe. 

However, what of those who feel overwhelmed by the vastness and the sheer wastefulness of this path? Few are fortunate enough to be born in circumstances that allow them to step away from the maddening crowd and yet make a living. What of those whose circumstances do not permit them to step away? How do they deal with the trauma of trying to lead lives which they are not fundamentally suited to? 

Regrettably, there are many among us who are undergoing mental and emotional sickness. Most problems of this nature are swept under the carpet. But even those who are brave enough to tackle them, do not always manage to overcome them completely. They learn to pretend to be in control. They learn to behave and act in a manner that places them outwardly in the category of normally functioning humans. They learn to compartmentalise their private hells from their public lives. 

Such people find it difficult to ask for help despite needing it the most. To my mind, the above couplet expresses the feelings of such a person. A person who struggles to express himself either because his self-esteem is too low or because he is too fearful of rejection. Both causes are concomitant. 

The tragedy is that our education system does not train us to handle such situations. It does not even make us aware of such situations. So whether one is experiencing the trauma of depression or one of the many conditions that fall under the rubric of 'psychological issues', or one happens to be interacting with such a person on a day-to-day basis, one is simply not equipped to handle  or even recognise such situations.  

In the above couplet, perhaps the protagonist of the poem is experiencing such a situation and has given his heart to one who has no idea what he is undergoing. He is incapable of expressing his love in a normal manner. And his muse probably has no clue that the protagonist feels that way about her. 

Sad. Isn't it? 

Urdu couplet by Mr Nida Fazli

English translation and commentary by Manish Modi