I would recommend Warren clean up this page a bit:
Most importantly, GET RID OF obnoxious statements like "the silly name first-past-the-post". You will alienate serious people right out of the gate.
Also, perhaps more focus should be put on Trudeau's favored IRV system, discussing better/simpler single-winner systems right up front, and then getting to PR. And maybe eliminate all of the systems you don't think are good, to make it as concise as possible. I guess this is a second version, more layman-friendly and focused on political impact.