I would love if you could fix/update these issues/points that I've
found, then upload the new documents to a public URL so I can post
links to Facebook, etc...:
"The exhaust gas will pass through the reaction chamber and the SOx
and NOx in the gas stream will be reduced by the bacteria."
-- what exhaust gas??? you haven't mentioned.
"Our team planned to reduce the amount of the NOx and SOx gases
ejected through the exhaust vents."
-- what exhaust vents?
"positive zeta potential"
-- you should give a quick explanation of this, I am a scientist by
training and an engineer by day (software/electrical these days) but I
don't know that term... any rich business people that aren't
scientists/engineers will definitely not know what this is, and
probably won't be inclined to google the term.
what was your previous success, how about efficiency/completeness of
the gas cleanup?
what are SRCs?
"The genetically engineered bacteria will be immobilized onto
reactors, and will be used to reduce the pollution from diesel
generators."
-- only in slide 8 do you state what should be the second sentence of
the entire slide deck (and the main starting point of the PDF)
-- In the PDF you say:
'Working on the "Eco.coli" , we have managed to succesfully
synthesize the bacterial clone capable of reducing NOx and SOx into
NH3 and sulfur respectively. However, due to lack of time and funding,
we could not develop the table top model last year.'
-- but then in the powerpoint slides you mention that the Cysl gene
has not been cloned yet, and that in fact you only created the Nrfa
and Sqr clones and got them sequenced, it doesn't mention anything
about gas-stream remediation experiments. This is misleading, and
could cause some people to lose trust in your team or the project. Be
more clear about previous accomplishments, current status, and
roadmap/plan moving forward (should you get the $$$).
P.S. is this the gene system that normally functions in plant-root
ecosystems, and is generally anoxic (poisoned by oxygen)?
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