Re: 2 To The 2nd, 3 To The 3rd Puns
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42B7BCCE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dipole: To color a Polish person, or a long cyclinder, or a
planetary
> > axis.
> >
> > Doling: Baby female deer.
> >
> > Dopey: Urinating female deer.
> > Doping: Musical female deer on drugs.
> >
> > Dozing: Sleeping female deer.
>
> Domestic: A parasitic insect that lives on the untidy bread-mix
droppings on
> the bakery floor.
Doming: Bread-mix in a Chinese vase.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Cock Pit: Hole of roosters at the front of a plane.
Psi-Clone: To make a copy with one's mind.
Acing: One song.
Agonize: Aching eyes.
Agony: Aching knee.
Ailing: Baby ale.
Amply: Electric Korean.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43154999...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Format: In favor of floor coverings.
> >
> > Formatt: In favor of movie special effects.
> >
> > Formula: In favor of money.
> >
> > Subroutine: Done by an underwater computer.
> >
> > Mauser: A knight gun that squeaks.
>
> Or goes miaow.
Miaow More: What Spanish cats in love do.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42EF1681...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > > news:1103035825.7...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:41BE9D5A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Q: why does an ocean going river get cold?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > A: because it has a shore throat.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Floozy: Ocean with a cold.
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Q: Why was the beach wet?
> > > > >
> > > > > A: Because the sea weed!
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Q: How can you spot a Kosher beach?
> > > > >
> > > > > A: It has no foreshore.
> > > >
> > > > What did they say when they found E.T. washed up on the shore?
> > > > E.T. no foam home!
> > > >
> > > The best crack based on that was in some show or other - can't remember
> > > which - where he picks up a public phone, says "ET phone home" and the
> > > operator says, "Very well. Please insert $600,000 for the first three
> > > minutes."
> >
> > E.T.: Beverage on the Internet for aliens.
>
> Croaky voice: E T phone home.
>
> Operator: Please insert three million dollars!
> (Airplane 2)
Croaky: Key to a frog.
Tim Bruening
On 07 Jan 2004 12:46:24 GMT, Dr Tormento <re...@togroup.com> found these
unused words floating about:
>earlo...@aol.com (Earlofduke2) wrote in
>news:20040106162719...@mb-m18.aol.com:
>
>> What does an oyster bar taste like? Is it covered with chocolate?
>
> Anybody know the cover charge at the clam strip bar?
Soap Bar: Serves clean beer.
Tim Bruening
Belting: Musical Chinese.
Bowleg: Leg decoration.
Bowline: Line of arrow firing equipment.
Coping: Bell Co-op.
Copying: Cloned Chinese.
Line of Fire: A line of combusting material.
Tim Bruening
Ceding: Musical seed, or musical ocean, or musical CD.
Ceiling: Baby seal.
Coaling: Baby coal.
Coding: Musical encytption.
Coiling: Baby rope.
Coking: King of the drug cartel.
Collie: Korean dog.
Tim Bruening
Delirium: Hallucinating demon.
Deliver: A demon organ.
Delude: To fool a demon.
Ghosting: Ghostly apine.
Laugher: Funny hair.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:426C9FA6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> <non pesach stuff snipped>
> >
> > Blasphemer: Ocean of heritics.
> >
>
> Who stole the Matzos, Holmes?
>
> A rock star of course!
>
> How do you know, Holmes?
>
> Seder-mentary, my dear Watson!
>
> How very igneous, Holmes!
Denile: Demon river that D.Moses turned into blood.
Tim Bruening
Hamper: Papa pig.
Hammock: Pig taunting.
Hamburg: A frozen pig floating in the ocean.
Smoking Gun: A cross between the NRA and the cigarette industry.
Vulcanization: The process whereby rubber grows pointed ears and starts
saying "Live long and prosper".:)
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Hauke Reddmann <fc3...@uni-hamburg.de> wrote in message
> news:cd2q12$5fg$1...@rzsun03.rrz.uni-hamburg.de...
> > In alt.humor.puns nemo <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
> >
> > > Mary had a little Tim.
> > > They quickly passed a law
> > > 'Coz once they saw what he was like
> > > They didn't want any more!
> >
> > Must we tim-mourn now that he's
> > wolfing down a.h.p.?
> >
> Only after painting him with Tim-mournex Flame Retardent Coating - not
that
> he needs it.
>
> Coating: A bell wearing a warm outer garment.
Gloating: A shining bell.
Tim Bruening
Tim wrote:
> It's hard to peel a couch potato like me away from the TV. There
> isn't a remote chance of ever getting the control out of my hands.
> They should appoint someone at a university to study a free nomenon
> like me - maybe an adjunk professor.
WB: A buzzing TV network.
ABC: An ocean of buzzing TV insects.
NBC: Another such ocean.
CBS: TV network of male cow manure (as illustrated by their now infamous
Super Bowl half time show!).
TNT: A dynamite TV network.
ESPN: The psychic sports network.
Tim Bruening
Arrester: Spinning cop.
Aster: Spinning flower.
Asster: Spinning donkey.
Baster: Spinning kitchen tool.
Blaster: Spinning ray gun.
Tim Bruening
Amuser: One poet knight.
Bemuser: Buzzing insect poet knight.
Reverser: Backwards knight.
Drawkcab: Taxi that goes in reverse.
Tim Bruening
"Alan B. Combs" wrote:
> Untold riches. That is the goal of any self-respecting buccaneer.
> Gold, rubies, diamonds, bullion -- all are acceptable plunder for
these
> thieves of the high seas.
>
> When the the ill-gotten gains are particularly good, many brigands
will
> put their goods in a sack and swing the swag above their heads. Then
> they dance around in a little wiggle-waggle jig very similar to that
> adopted by many NFL players who have just made a touchdown.
>
> Indeed, it is most entertaining to watch a pirate shake his booty.
Booty: Beverage drunk by a ghost.
Boozing: Alcoholic beverage drunk by a ghost.
Tim Bruening
ABC: Ocean of letters.
AC: Electrical ocean.
Artsy: Ocean of paintings, statutes, compositions, poems, books, etc.
BC: Apine ocean in the past.
Betsy: An ocean casino.
Tim Bruening
unused words floating about:
How does a clam strip? How does a Gaza strip? How does a mall strip?
Clamming: Shelled Chinese vase in the deep blue sea.
nemo
Was he an ammeter Electric Korean or a pro one, and did he work at Ohm?
nemo
Flamenco: Spanish factory on fire!
Stunk of garlic anyway. It was an olfactory!
nemo
Doming Nose: A pub game using black tiles with white dots on belonging to
Jimmy Durante in a Chinese vase! (phew!)
nemo
>
> Dipole: To color a Polish person, or a long cyclinder, or a planetary
> axis.
>
> Doling: Baby female deer.
Narr. That's what the Job Centres spend their time doing. Doling out the
cash to unemployed female deer! - and up to March 12th. 2007, to meeeee as
well!
Since then I've been getting twice as much and free travel in London and its
hen virons! Heheheheheeee!
Good, innit!
> Dopey: Urinating female deer.
They do it right over the noses of the stags in the may ting season to turn
them on! YUKKKKKKKKKKKKK!
nemo
Where does it fit?
The bind moggles!
nemo
Lonnie Donngan song about a madman who thought he was a bar counter:
"Have a drink, have a drink, have a drink on me! . . "
http://www.lonniedoneganinc.com/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lonnie_Donegan
nemo
I hope they don't have Ban Collie Days over there!
nemo
Schmoking: A monarch with numerous stupid objectionable qualities - and a
short abbreviated willie!
nemo
A fuse?
And surely fuses should be made out of Cordite!
Or a manyse?
Perfume worn by genetic engineers: Eau De Clone!
Owzatt? Gotta be an original one!
nemo
Warm outer garment worn by a moron: Oafercoat!
nemo
Yoo wanna see funny hair? Go up Camden Lock at the weekend.
Fluorescent Mohicans, hyoooodge cocks' combs and I was a bloke up there once
with a bald bonce except at the front and that had been grown and formed
forward into a 2ft spike sticking out horizontally!
I'll very cautiously try to get some pics of these idiots in the summer from
a distance with a long lens and post em somewhere where you can see em!
Should razor laugh - especially the partially shaved ones!
Than that's not to mention all the Punks with just about everything pieced
with metal, who you could seriously injure with a big magnet!!
nemo
Blaster Bates: A UK demolition expert who was always one letter away from
blowing his willie off!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blaster_Bates
Two of his hobbies were shunting and hooting??
Sounds more like Fred Dybnah!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Dibnah
Thirds of a Blether!
nemo
I never metamorphic leader than Pharoah!
I like the bit where Yul Brynners soldiers all got drownded in the Red Sea -
even the little plastic horses and chariots!
nemo
Go means walk. It's got boots on sticks attached to its axles?
Iyy dun a cartoon of a steaming gin like that, with the craption, "The
trains are running on time tonight!"
nemo
EPNS: The cheap tropheys they present!
http://www.acronymfinder.com/acronym.aspx?rec={8DF9F7D9-89E8-11D4-8351-00C04FC2C2BF}
nemo
>
> ABC: Ocean of letters.
ABCC: An ocean with lots underweigh - not underway or under way!
It's to do with anchors. The two modern versions are to do with wankers!
> AC: Electrical ocean.
>
> Artsy: Ocean of paintings, statutes, compositions, poems, books, etc.
>
> BC: Apine ocean in the past.
>
> Betsy: An ocean casino.
Captain of submarine: "If you sea anemone, torpedo the bastard!
nemo
It'd all leak out of eez insubstantial body all over the place!
Ice up hose (brrr!) he might be able to get away with drinking spirits
though.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42B7BCCE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dipole: To color a Polish person, or a long cyclinder, or a
planetary
> > axis.
> >
> > Doling: Baby female deer.
> >
> > Dopey: Urinating female deer.
> > Doping: Musical female deer on drugs.
> >
> > Dozing: Sleeping female deer.
>
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42EF1681...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > > news:1103035825.7...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
ABC: Ocean of letters.
Tim Bruening
unused words floating about:
How does a clam strip? How does a Gaza strip? How does a mall strip?
Clamming: Shelled Chinese vase in the deep blue sea.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:421A8204...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > On 2002-04-14 21:07:44 PST,
> >
> > "Greg Evans" <greg...@charter.net> wrote ...
> > > Mad Jesuit wrote:
> > > > > When you look at a barcode:
> > > > > ???????????????????????????
> > > > > You're looking at an Ethiopian's family portrait.
> > > >
> > > > ... It's the Bionic Man's fingerprint.
> > > > ... It's a genetically engineered zebra.
> > > > ... An aerial photograph of a toupee with a built in combover.
> > > > ... A micro-machine's treadprint.
> > > > ... A fence for anorexic hide-and-seek.
> > >
> > > I thought a "bar code" was what you had to whisper to the doorman
to get
> > > into a speakeasy.
> >
> > Or how a prison guard enters a jail cell.
>
> Ex-addict prison guard in Winter: Cold Turnkey.
Fairfield: Meadow of entertainment.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:421A803A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:420B1B3E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:406F70E3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Happy Palm Sunday eve.
> > > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > Eve was long gone by the time Yossel came along!
> > > > >
> > > > > Here's a nice idea for Easter . . .
> > > > >
> > > > > How about a Psalm Punday??
> > > >
> > > > Easter: Electronic jail.
> > > >
> > > > Easter: Electronic mixing bowl.
> > > >
> > > > Lefty: Communist beverage.
> > > >
> > > Samovar Communist beverages are missing.
> >
> > Stop Stalin!
> >
> Tea Bag: Lady who takes the trolley round the factory.
>
> If it's a glass factory on the ocean, she navigates by means of a
> C:\WINDOWS\CHARMAP.EXE.
Charmap: Map of a forest fire.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> nemo <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> news:pdh1c.6167$5P2....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...
> >
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4044568F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >
> > >
> > > ynotssor wrote:
> > >
> > > > "Sritk" <sr...@aol.com> wrote in message
> > > > news:20040301132536...@mb-m03.aol.com
> > > >
> > > > > Why isn't Rhode Island surrounded by water?
> > > >
> > > > Global war-ming.
> > >
> > > War-ming: Hostile chinese vase.
> > >
> > > Hostile: Aggressive fence.
> > >
> > > Fencing: Singing barrier.
> > >
> > Or a singing 100th of a Yuan.
> >
> There was someone with loads of Rhode Island puns but he got shot in
the
> Civil War running away.
>
> He was a Rhode Island Reb!
Rhode Island Read: Book in the smallest state.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:408382ED...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Death Eater Dan wrote:
> >
> > > > house elf bee
> > >
> > > Sorry but thats just terrible.
> >
> > What's wrong with a house elf bee?
> >
> Yeah!! House elf fish can you get?!
House elf fish: Works for underwater wizards.
Sent: A delivered penny.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:408379E3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Docking: King of ship ports.
> >
> > Dunking: Basketball king.
>
> Bunking: Monarch who likes fruity baps.
Tanking: Battlefield king.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40837C17...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Aborting: Bell that ends a pregnancy.
> >
> > Admitting: Bell that rings to allow you in.
> >
> > Alerting: Bell that rings warning.
> >
> > Affording: Cheap bell.
> >
> > Affording: One bell that wades across a river.
> >
> > Averting: Bell that avoids disaster.
> >
> > Biting: Toothy bell.
> >
> > Biting: Purchase a bell.
> >
> > Bursting: Over full bell.
> >
> > Busting: Mass transit bell.
>
> Bursting 2: Pain experienced after cutting one's finger on the rough,
sharp
> edge of a badly finished piece of metal.
Bursting 3: Cold bell or cold bee.
Tim Bruening
Faster: Quickly rotating object.
Fester: Spinning rot.
Jester: Spinning comedian.
Kister: Spinning rear end.
Master: Spinning boss.
Tim Bruening
Scammer: Ocean of con artists.
Scamming: A con artist Chinese vase.
Forbearance: 4 ursine/ant crossbreeds.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44AF4635...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Greg Evans wrote:
> >
> > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > "Greg Evans" found these unused words floating about:
> > > >> Alan wrote:
> > > >>
> > > >>> Where is the moral in this?
> > > >> You'll most often find them in the forest, near decaying trees. Be
> > > >> sure not to pick poisonous ones though!
> > > >
> > > > You're truffling with him ...
> > >
> > > I can't help it - I'm just trying to be a fun guy (rather than a toad's
> > > tool).
> >
> > Sporting: How Musical Fungi Reproduce.
>
> You're no fun guy when you get a Latin plural right because I can't take the
> mickey!
Mickey: Unlocks Irish locks.
nemo
> > >
> > > Dipole: To color a Polish person, or a long cyclinder, or a
> planetary
> > > axis.
> > >
> > > Doling: Baby female deer.
> > >
> > > Dopey: Urinating female deer.
> > > Doping: Musical female deer on drugs.
> > >
> > > Dozing: Sleeping female deer.
> >
> > Domestic: A parasitic insect that lives on the untidy bread-mix
> droppings on
> > the bakery floor.
>
> Doming: Bread-mix in a Chinese vase.
A perverted Roman who finds himself attracted to people's houses: A
Domusexual!
A small country named after the big tit on the top of a cathedral sold in a
metal container: The Dominacan Republic.
If all our counties' leaders and representatives of England Ireland (both)
Scotland and Wales all met in Saint Paul's Cathedral, would they be sitting
there under the United Kingdome?
And what about G O D Sick Domes? Do they make people fed up with religion?
(Noah Fence)
Nemo.
In 2007, retirement was heaven,
And it's still quite divine in 2009!
nemo
>
> Dipole: To color a Polish person, or a long cyclinder, or a planetary
> axis.
>
> Doling: Baby female deer.
>
> Dopey: Urinating female deer.
>
> Doping: Musical female deer on drugs.
>
> Dozing: Sleeping female deer.
It's me, most afternoons as well! It's hole dayge I tell yer!
Doppler Shift: The change in pitch of the bleating or whatever noise they
make, of a female deer going past you at high speed.
Domicile: A female deer with nuke attached being launched against an enemy
from someone's home.
Double: A stag.
Dobbin: Where they trow away knackered female deer.
Doctor: A rocky outcrop the shape of a female deer.
Docket: Cross between a deer and a feline.
Dodo: Two extinct female deer.
Diesel Doopher Nough.
nemo
>
> Cock Pit: Hole of roosters at the front of a plane.
>
> Psi-Clone: To make a copy with one's mind.
>
> Acing: One song.
>
> Agonize: Aching eyes.
>
> Agony: Aching knee.
>
> Ailing: Baby ale.
>
> Amply: Electric Korean.
EMF thee belief thet thet iss not heez current name.
(Sith Iffrikkin ekkssent)
nemo
> > >
> > > Format: In favor of floor coverings.
> > >
> > > Formatt: In favor of movie special effects.
> > >
> > > Formula: In favor of money.
> > >
> > > Subroutine: Done by an underwater computer.
> > >
> > > Mauser: A knight gun that squeaks.
> >
> > Or goes miaow.
>
> Miaow More: What Spanish cats in love do.
Vertical brick or stone structure where food is set out on tables for said
noisy felines: Cater Wall.
What a Spanish chicken farmer says to his hens every day: "Ol�!"
nemo
>
> Delirium: Hallucinating demon.
>
> Deliver: A demon organ.
>
> Delude: To fool a demon.
>
> Ghosting: Ghostly apine.
Abie! Ghosting somebody else!
> Laugher: Funny hair.
What's a pun you can't make anymore because it's so politically incorrect?
Snigger!
nemo
> > >
> > > nemo wrote:
> > >
> > > > <dobe...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> > > > news:1103035825.7...@c13g2000cwb.googlegroups.com...
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > Q: why does an ocean going river get cold?
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > > A: because it has a shore throat.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Floozy: Ocean with a cold.
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Q: Why was the beach wet?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > A: Because the sea weed!
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Q: How can you spot a Kosher beach?
> > > > > >
> > > > > > A: It has no foreshore.
> > > > >
> > > > > What did they say when they found E.T. washed up on the shore?
> > > > > E.T. no foam home!
> > > > >
> > > > The best crack based on that was in some show or other - can't
remember
> > > > which - where he picks up a public phone, says "ET phone home" and
the
> > > > operator says, "Very well. Please insert $600,000 for the first
three
> > > > minutes."
> > >
> > > E.T.: Beverage on the Internet for aliens.
> >
> > Croaky voice: E T phone home.
> >
> > Operator: Please insert three million dollars!
> > (Airplane 2)
>
> Croaky: Key to a frog.
Quite poss� bully. There used to be wind-up clockwork tin frogs when I was a
nipper. They'd sit there and whirr for a bit then suddenly jump, and we'd
jump in surprise and all laugh like mad.
Those long winter evenings used to simply fly by! Happy daze!
nemo
>
> On 07 Jan 2004 12:46:24 GMT, Dr Tormento <re...@togroup.com> found these
>
> unused words floating about:
>
> >earlo...@aol.com (Earlofduke2) wrote in
> >news:20040106162719...@mb-m18.aol.com:
> >
> >> What does an oyster bar taste like? Is it covered with chocolate?
> >
> > Anybody know the cover charge at the clam strip bar?
>
Beer's clean anyway because the alcohol kills the germs. Yeast doesn't like
competition.
Isobar: Where businessmen who are under pressure meet for a drink.
Isobar 2: Where people who work for the EC Standards Institute meet for a
drink.
nemo
>
> Belting: Musical Chinese.
>
> Bowleg: Leg decoration.
>
> Bowline: Line of arrow firing equipment.
>
> Coping: Bell Co-op.
>
> Copying: Cloned Chinese.
>
> Line of Fire: A line of combusting material.
Of course.
Lino Fire: The floor's alight!
Fireplaice: The fish supper's caught light!
And the very witty name of a shop up the road which sold solid fuel heating
equipment: Grate Fires of London!
nemo
>
> Ceding: Musical seed, or musical ocean, or musical CD.
>
> Ceiling: Baby seal.
>
> Coaling: Baby coal.
>
> Coding: Musical encytption.
>
> Coiling: Baby rope.
>
> Coking: King of the drug cartel.
>
> Collie: Korean dog.
No he ain't. Eeez Border, Bearded, Australian, Farm, German, Scotch Smooth,
Scotch Rough, Shetland, Welsh or Whole Dinglish.
The dick shunnery says:
noun: a silky-coated sheepdog with a long ruff and long narrow head
developed in Scotland.
OK. Where was the rest of his body developed then?
And a long ruff? Does that mean that his bark lasts for quite a time?
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
Adobe: One female bee deer.
nemo
> > >
> > <non pesach stuff snipped>
> > >
> > > Blasphemer: Ocean of heritics.
> > >
> >
> > Who stole the Matzos, Holmes?
> >
> > A rock star of course!
> >
> > How do you know, Holmes?
> >
> > Seder-mentary, my dear Watson!
> >
> > How very igneous, Holmes!
>
> Denile: Demon river that D.Moses turned into blood.
If it'd been the Seine instead of denial, he'd have been hidden in the boule
rushes.
nemo
That'd be an Ixat. I didn't know Ixus wore ats.
nemo
>
> Hamper: Papa pig.
>
> Hammock: Pig taunting.
>
> Hamburg: A frozen pig floating in the ocean.
>
> Smoking Gun: A cross between the NRA and the cigarette industry.
>
> Vulcanization: The process whereby rubber grows pointed ears and starts
> saying "Live long and prosper".:)
Fanx!
. . . and starts giving people 2� times the Winston Churchill
salute!
Galvanisation: Zinc plating carried out inside a closed goods vehicle by a
young lady.
Owzat?
nemo
>
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Hauke Reddmann <fc3...@uni-hamburg.de> wrote in message
> > news:cd2q12$5fg$1...@rzsun03.rrz.uni-hamburg.de...
> > > In alt.humor.puns nemo <ne...@naughtylass.wet> wrote:
> > >
> > > > Mary had a little Tim.
> > > > They quickly passed a law
> > > > 'Coz once they saw what he was like
> > > > They didn't want any more!
> > >
> > > Must we tim-mourn now that he's
> > > wolfing down a.h.p.?
> > >
> > Only after painting him with Tim-mournex Flame Retardent Coating - not
> that
> > he needs it.
> >
> > Coating: A bell wearing a warm outer garment.
>
> Gloating: A shining bell.
Belfry: A gong you got given for nothing or one cooked in hot oil in a pan.
nemo
>
> Arrester: Spinning cop.
>
> Aster: Spinning flower.
>
> Asster: Spinning donkey.
>
> Baster: Spinning kitchen tool.
>
> Blaster: Spinning ray gun.
Bastard: Ronald ray gun!
Lightning Arrester: Very fast cop!
nemo
And unlocked a fortune for his alleged creator who couldn't even draw him
and had to be trained to do so by the *real* artist when the medea wanted to
film him doing a quick sketch.
And the number of much much earlier films swarming with little multiple
Mickeys proves the character was stolen from much earlier cartoons.
And Tugboat Willie was actually the name of a disease caught by sailors when
they caught their penes in the propeller!
Wart Dizzily: A spinning cartoon film producer with B9 2mours all over him.
2mours: A couple of ancient natives of north-west Africa.
nemo
Melvyn: A mad boss!
Used to Harries the life out of us he did!
nemo
Sentry: A cheap soldier standing guard up an arborial shrub..
Sentry Box: What he wears when he's playing cricket as the batsman.
Batsman: Dracula!
nemo
>
> "Alan B. Combs" wrote:
>
> > Untold riches. That is the goal of any self-respecting buccaneer.
> > Gold, rubies, diamonds, bullion -- all are acceptable plunder for
> these
> > thieves of the high seas.
> >
> > When the the ill-gotten gains are particularly good, many brigands
> will
> > put their goods in a sack and swing the swag above their heads. Then
> > they dance around in a little wiggle-waggle jig very similar to that
> > adopted by many NFL players who have just made a touchdown.
> >
> > Indeed, it is most entertaining to watch a pirate shake his booty.
>
> Booty: Beverage drunk by a ghost.
>
> Boozing: Alcoholic beverage drunk by a ghost.
Spirits for spirits?
nemo
>
> ABC: Ocean of letters.
>
> AC: Electrical ocean.
>
> Artsy: Ocean of paintings, statutes, compositions, poems, books, etc.
>
> BC: Apine ocean in the past.
>
> Betsy: An ocean casino.
Roulette: An entire French street full of houses for rent.
nemo
>
> On 07 Jan 2004 12:46:24 GMT, Dr Tormento <re...@togroup.com> found these
>
> unused words floating about:
>
> >earlo...@aol.com (Earlofduke2) wrote in
> >news:20040106162719...@mb-m18.aol.com:
> >
> >> What does an oyster bar taste like? Is it covered with chocolate?
> >
> > Anybody know the cover charge at the clam strip bar?
>
clamourous as well - and sounds it!
How does a Gaza strip? Violently!!
How does a mall strip? Malliciously.
>
> Clamming: Shelled Chinese vase in the deep blue sea.
. . . where the Moon can't see it. Poor Celene!
nemo
> > >
> > > On 2002-04-14 21:07:44 PST,
> > >
> > > "Greg Evans" <greg...@charter.net> wrote ...
> > > > Mad Jesuit wrote:
> > > > > > When you look at a barcode:
> > > > > > ???????????????????????????
> > > > > > You're looking at an Ethiopian's family portrait.
> > > > >
> > > > > ... It's the Bionic Man's fingerprint.
> > > > > ... It's a genetically engineered zebra.
> > > > > ... An aerial photograph of a toupee with a built in combover.
> > > > > ... A micro-machine's treadprint.
> > > > > ... A fence for anorexic hide-and-seek.
> > > >
> > > > I thought a "bar code" was what you had to whisper to the doorman
> to get
> > > > into a speakeasy.
Spea Keysie: An illicit locksmith's shop.
> > > Or how a prison guard enters a jail cell.
> >
> > Ex-addict prison guard in Winter: Cold Turnkey.
>
> Fairfield: Meadow of entertainment.
Fairfax: A written message transmitted electronically regarding a bunch of
roundabouts, rides, slides, fairys' wheels and stalls.
nemo
> > > Docking: King of ship ports.
> > >
> > > Dunking: Basketball king.
> >
> > Bunking: Monarch who likes fruity baps.
>
> Tanking: Battlefield king.
Shermans fighting Germans eh?
No wonder they lost. All they had was Pansy tanks!
nemo
>
> nemo wrote:
>
> > nemo <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> > news:pdh1c.6167$5P2....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk...> > > news:4044568F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > ynotssor wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Sritk" <sr...@aol.com> wrote in message
> > > > > news:20040301132536...@mb-m03.aol.com
> > > > >
> > > > > > Why isn't Rhode Island surrounded by water?
> > > > >
> > > > > Global war-ming.
> > > >
> > > > War-ming: Hostile chinese vase.
> > > >
> > > > Hostile: Aggressive fence.
> > > >
> > > > Fencing: Singing barrier.
> > > >
> > > Or a singing 100th of a Yuan.
> > >
> > There was someone with loads of Rhode Island puns but he got shot in
> the
> > Civil War running away.
> >
> > He was a Rhode Island Reb!
>
> Rhode Island Read: Book in the smallest state.
Rhode Island: Place where they don't have any cars or horses anymore - and
no donkeys either. In fact nothing to give assestance.
nemo
> > > Aborting: Bell that ends a pregnancy.
> > >
> > > Admitting: Bell that rings to allow you in.
> > >
> > > Alerting: Bell that rings warning.
> > >
> > > Affording: Cheap bell.
> > >
> > > Affording: One bell that wades across a river.
> > >
> > > Averting: Bell that avoids disaster.
> > >
> > > Biting: Toothy bell.
> > >
> > > Biting: Purchase a bell.
> > >
> > > Bursting: Over full bell.
> > >
> > > Busting: Mass transit bell.
> >
> > Bursting 2: Pain experienced after cutting one's finger on the rough,
> sharp
> > edge of a badly finished piece of metal.
>
> Bursting 3: Cold bell or cold bee.
Bursting 4:
"What are you bursting 4?"
"A pee!!"
nemo
>
> Scammer: Ocean of con artists.
>
> Scamming: A con artist Chinese vase.
>
> Forbearance: 4 ursine/ant crossbreeds.
Or two pairs of formicid� with no clothes on.
nemo
> > > > >
> > > > >
> > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > > Happy Palm Sunday eve.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Eve was long gone by the time Yossel came along!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Here's a nice idea for Easter . . .
> > > > > >
> > > > > > How about a Psalm Punday??
> > > > >
> > > > > Easter: Electronic jail.
> > > > >
> > > > > Easter: Electronic mixing bowl.
> > > > >
> > > > > Lefty: Communist beverage.
> > > > >
> > > > Samovar Communist beverages are missing.
> > >
> > > Stop Stalin!
> > >
> > Tea Bag: Lady who takes the trolley round the factory.
> >
> > If it's a glass factory on the ocean, she navigates by means of a
> > C:\WINDOWS\CHARMAP.EXE.
>
> Charmap: Map of a forest fire.
Czardas: A bunch of Hungarians dancing in it.
Israeli dancing is more egalitarian. Fair Shers for all!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42B7BCCE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Dipole: To color a Polish person, or a long cyclinder, or a
planetary
> > axis.
> >
> > Doling: Baby female deer.
> >
> > Dopey: Urinating female deer.
> > Doping: Musical female deer on drugs.
> >
> > Dozing: Sleeping female deer.
>
> Domestic: A parasitic insect that lives on the untidy bread-mix
droppings on
> the bakery floor.
Doming: Bread-mix in a Chinese vase.
Nemo
middle. (I got a couple of those. Chinese coins, not holes.)