Kol Nidrei drasha
Dani Schreiber
Kol nidrei is easily the most recognizable part of yom kippur. There are people who come to shul for kol nidrei and that's it. But why do we say kol nidrei at all? Even if it worked, why are we making a big deal about hatarat nedarim? And that’s besides the fact that it might not even work as hatarat nedarim – you can’t just annul your promises in advance! Let me put it this way – if kol nidrei works, it’s like the mother of all crossed fingers! Don’t believe a word I say this year!
In the past two years I spoke about two possible reasons we say it on yom Kippur night. One answer was that hatarat nedarim represents the breaking of habits. Another reason is that we are incoming the tradition that Moshe annulled hashems neder to punish us for the Chet haegel breaking the rules of midday hadin, so we beg him to forgive our sins on Yom Kippur, breaking the rules.
However, tonight I'd like to present a different answer, highlighting an aspect of the day that may be somewhat unfamiliar to many of you. We all know Yom Kippur is the day of atonement - where we get forgiveness from God. But how did that happen? Where did it start? What happened in Jewish history that made today the day set aside for atonement? The answer is that on the tenth of tishrei, Moshe came down with forgiveness from Hashem for the chet haegel which occurred 80 days earlier on shiva asar be-tamuz. It’s a day set aside for mechila.
But Moshe also brought with him something else, which connects to Kol Nidrei - the second set of the luchot habrit. Yom Kippur is not just a day of atonement – it’s also a day of kabalat hatorah. Kind of like Shavuot, but even more, because Shavuot is the day that Hashem gave us the Torah, but Yom Kippur is the day we received it for eternity.
So where does that leave us with Kol Nidrei? Was there any difference between the first giving of the Torah and the final, eternal one? The Beis halevi, in a beautiful drasha, describes the difference between the two sets. Its a long drasha so I'll just give you the upshot and save you the proofs –you’ll have to just trust me.
The first time the luchot were given, they were created by Hashem Himself - and because they were divine they had some special properties - they were written with black fire on white fire, and most importantly, they contained the entirety of the Torah - I don't mean just tanach - I mean all of Torah shebictav and Torah shebeal peh and every question that any Talmud would ever ask. How? I don’t know, God did it. But it meant that no one would ever forget or lack knowledge because everything was written down.
But then what happened? Bnei Yisrael sinned. And now Moshe had to go get forgiveness and replace them with the second luchos. But this time, Hashem said that while they could have thelychos again, they would be a little different. This time they would be carved by Moshe instead of by God. And this time they would not contain the entire Torah, but rather just the ten dibberot. Hashem didn't want to risk having the luchos falling into the hands of the non-Jews when we eventually sinned again.
But the Beis halevi concludes on a positive note. He explains that while the first luchos were far superior to the second ones, there was one advantage to the whole ordeal. With the first luchos, everything was written down, and so Bnei Yisrael didn’t need to internalize the Torah because it was perfectly intact external to them. But the second time the Torah was not written on stone or parchment, but rather on the memories and the hearts and soul of the Jewish people. As a result instead of Bnei Yisrael simply being readers of Torah, they were now carriers of Torah. In fact, the Beis Halevi says that at first, Bnei Yisrael were like aronei kodesh, who simply guard the Torah, but now, they were like the klaf on which the Torah is written – gufo kedusha – our bodies are kadosh.
Back to Kol Nidrei. You may not realize this, but hatarat nedarim is not written about explicitly in the Torah at all. We have it as a tradition from Sinai. It’s one of the purest, if not the purest form of Torah she-be’al peh. Rambam says that when we say it, we repeat it three times. Why? If you go through the sefer of the Rambam you’ll find that he says in a number of places to do things three times – and each time it’s because the act we were performing or the recital we were saying was a matter of dispute between those who accepted Torah she-be’al peh (the perushim) and those who did not (the tzedukim).
Kol Nidrei represents our wholehearted acceptance of the Torah she-be’al peh, which also reflects the idea with Hashem’s selicha and kappara, we also reached a higher level of kabalas haTorah – where we are elevated from being mere vessels carrying the Torah to sifrei Torah ourselves.
On Shavuot, we celebrate the Torah by staying up all night learning. I don’t recommend that for tonight. But maybe we can at least make sure that our waking hours are filled with as much Torah as possible. Don’t just ask God for forgiveness. Show him that we are thankful for both gifts that Moshe brought down with him – the selicha, and also the deeper connection to the Torah.