Warning! Always wear ANSI approved safety goggles when reading posts by
Checkmate.
On 6 Jan 2020 21:17:16 GMT vallor put forth the following notion, which
was duly noted and recorded:
>
I was driving a camper at night in the left lane once, going exactly 55 in
a 55, and some asshole started tailgating me and flashing his brights, so
I did what I usually do in that situation, and said Fuck heeem! There
were two lanes to the right that were wide open, but this dick kept
flashing his brights at me to move over.
Next thing I know, it's Christmas time... the guy's a cop, and lights me
up. He asks me if I saw him flashing his brights at me, and I told him
sure I did, but I was going the limit, and there were two open lanes to
the right. That didn't satisfy this pompous ass, so he wrote me a ticket,
claiming my side view mirrors obviously weren't "adequate" to see behind
me. What a piece of Schitt!
Another time, I was driving a 4X4 in the left lane, going the speed limit
because I knew there was a cop behind me. He followed me for awhile, then
passed me in the #2 lane, mean-mugging me as he went by, like that pissed
him off. He got up to 65-70 after he passed me, so I sped up to pretty
close to the same, but stayed behind him. Then he slowed back down, got
in behind me, and pulled me over for speeding, saying he "paced me in his
rear view mirror".
That time really pissed me off, so we got into a rather heated discussion
about it, where he made the claim he was already pacing a motorcycle
ahead, but I knew he was there and sped up, so he decided to give ME the
ticket. There WAS no motorcycle anywhere around, so I asked him where the
MC was, what color it was, etc. He didn't seem to like that, and we each
got shitty with each other.
I signed the ticket, and he started walking back to his car... then I had
an idea: I needed to get up to speed quickly to merge back onto the
freeway safely, and I was parked on gravel... are you with me? I
carefully turned on my left turn signal to indicate I was going to be
merging back onto the highway, then punched it and dropped the clutch
hard, causing the most beautiful shower of dirt and rocks to fly from the
back of my truck. For one brief moment, I was loving the havoc going on
behind me... until I saw that the cop was now sprinting back to his
vehicle with a new-found sense of urgency.
Then, it occurred to me that this couldn't be good. Sure enough, he lit
me up again. I pulled over, but deliberately didn't leave him enough room
to safely approach me from my side of the truck. He ran up to the
passenger side, obviously not amused, and I rolled down my window just a
little bit. Surprisingly, he didn't say anything about the gravel shower,
but informed me he was writing me a second ticket for NOT signaling when I
pulled out the first time.
Apparently, he figured out that I could easily say I was just getting up
to speed quickly to safely merge with other traffic, and that wouldn't be
illegal... just an unforeseen and unfortunate consequence of being pulled
over on a gravel shoulder... Ooops! "Don't bother getting your license
out, I already have all the information!" he politely screamed. He
informed me that he was writing the new ticket for "Failure to signal when
I pulled out". As I said earlier, that was the first thing I did... right
before the "meteor" shower.
At this point, I was just thankful he didn't drag me out of the car and
club me to death, so I went on my way... being very careful to signal
again, and a little less heavy on the clutch.
I decided to dispute both tickets because he lied... "How DARE him!" I
didn't get anywhere with the speeding ticket, which was no big surprise,
but when I started insisting that I had most diligently used my turn
indicator to signal that I was getting ready to merge, the judge wasn't
even looking at me, or paying any attention at all... he just stared at
the wall, like "Are you done yet?" It was almost as if the District
Attorney had whispered in his ear before the trial even began.
If you've gotten this far, you've probably already concluded that I lost
on both counts. Indeed I did, but the memory of that cop getting a rock
bath is still priceless, and that was about 35 years ago.