Words Of Wisdom For New Parents....
C e r b e r u s - The Dog Of Hell
-- Mothers of teens know why animals eat their young.
-- Children will soon forget your presents, they will always remember
your presence.
-- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
-- They say kids brighten the home. That's because they never turn the
damn lights off.
-- Give your children two things. One is roots, the other, wings.
-- Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like clearing
the drive before it has stopped snowing.
-- There is only one pretty child in the world and every mother has it.
-- Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.
-- The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that there are children more awful than your own.
-- You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people
some of the time, but you can never fool mom.
-- Anyone who says 'Easy as taking candy from a baby' has never tried it.
-- Kids need love the most when they're acting most unlovable.
And finally . . .
-- The best gift parents can give their children is a few minutes of their
time each day.
-==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--
From the Jokes archive of Cerberus - The Dog Of Hell
Subscribe to my jokelist by sending a blank e-mail to:-
cerberus-jok...@yahoogroups.com
-==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--
The REAL Alt.Tasteless.Jokes FAQ - June 2003 Edition
Written for ATJ, but can also be used as a guide
for most other joke and humour newsgroups too.
http://www.geocities.com/mystacy/atjfaq.htm
-==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--==--