[MiSTing] "What's Q, Pussycat?" (1/2) [TNG, TOONAMI]
Jim W.
eyecatches that I can't place in this NG version. I have provided links if you
wish to see them.
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episode 405 of SFT1B
[A bunch of shadowy workers with chainsaws tear down trees in a deciduous
forest.
Captain Planet flies in, catches one of the trees in mid-fall, and replaces it
upright,
sealing the cut with the Cartoon Network logo.]
[The Toonami spaceship Absolution flies by the camera. A techno beat plays as
clips
of past SFT1B episodes appear on T.O.M.'s screen.]
MIKE[desperate]: Attention, people of Earth! Attention, people of Earth!
We need your help!
---
[Screen becomes full-sized]
---
PEARL: I have finnaly figured out the key to world domination!
---
THEME: "I'll send him cheesy stories,"
---
SERVO: Not another Sonic fanfic!
---
THEME: "The worst I can find!"
---
OBSERVER: I hope your experience is as frightening as mine.
---
MIKE: A complete retelling of the old classic that you read just seconds ago.
---
> "Yes master."
SERVO: Torgo! Show yourself!
---
CROW: You know you want me baby!
---
MIKE: Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Satellite of Love.
---
THEME: You should really just relax!
---
MIKE: See? I told you nothing bad would happen.
---
PEARL: Don't enjoy! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
---
[SCIENCE FICTION THEATER 1,000,000,000]
(for a visual, check out http://members.aol.com/tjats/RS2.gif)
cut to...
[SOL] Mike, Servo, and Crow are watching the Stony television on the counter.
MIKE: I dunno, that little animation just doesn't cut it for me.
CROW: We're on.
MIKE: [looks at Cambot] Hello, everybody. You caught us at a pivotal
moment...
It seems that, thanks to Little Miss Bonnie Hammer and a really huge scheduling
mix-up, our show is now part of Cartoon Network's Toonami block.
SERVO: We can now be seen Saturdays at 9 on the Rising Sun!
CROW: I don't really mind that we're on along with some of the most popular
"legal" anime in America. I just hope our presense doesn't delay the showing
of "Endless Waltz."
MIKE: Knowing our situation, we'll probably end up riffing it.
SERVO: No way, Nelson! That's definitely not MiSTable material.
MIKE: Well, no matter what, we've got a weekly two-hour slot on Toonami. And
our
show *does* pre-empt an hour of Thundercats. I think that's pretty neat, but
that
also means we have to sacrifice our opening theme to make room for a brief clip
show.
CROW: Hey, do you think this will give us a bigger audience?
MAGIC VOICE[now heard clearly because her unit is right there]: Commercial
sign now.
*commercial sign*
SERVO: As the Toonami Tom would say, "We'll be right back."
[Instead of planet logo, we are treated to a clip, seen on two seperate
monitors as
the camera pans to the right across them.]
---
SERVO: Hey! It's Ortega! How 'ya doing, chum?
ORTEGA: [grunts]
SERVO: Oh, really?
---
T.O.M.: SCIENCE FICTION THEATER 1,000,000,000 will return in a moment.
[Toonami and Cartoon Network logos flash very briefly.]
---
[Commercials for Midnight Run (Thank us later)]
---
> we saw a cavern yawning
SERVO[as cavern]: Oh, boy, am I tired.
---
T.O.M.: SCIENCE FICTION THEATER 1,000,000,000 now continues.
[Toonami and Cartoon Network logos flash]
---
[SOL] The same as we left it.
MIKE: Uh...that was...weird.
CROW: I still think this will turn out good for us.
*Mads' sign*
SERVO: Hey, it's Chi Chi and Master Roshi. How's the dragonball huntin'?
[Moon Zero Two] The location is not the lab, but a replica of the bridge of
Space Fortress Barge. Pearl is dressed in a maroon Oz military uniform, and is
wearing large glasses. Her hair is tied in two buns
PEARL: Fire the beam cannon on my mark!
[Frank enters. His white hair is much longer than usual. He is wearing a white
mask/helmet and a red Oz uniform.]
FRANK: The cannon has not fully charged. And besides, we'd be endangering
several
mobile dolls as well as the Satellite.
PEARL: I don't care! The Satellite of Love must be destroyed! The Romafeller
Foundation will be supreme! SHOOT IT DOWN!
[SOL]
CROW: Uh...
SERVO: Mike, are Pearl and Frank dressed up as Lady Une and Zechs Merquis, or
did
I eat too many of Gypsy's bean burritos?
GYPSY[off-screen]: Did someone just diss my burritos?
MIKE: I'm afraid this is the real thing.
CROW: I no longer think this will turn out good for us.
[MZ2]
PEARL: Well, if the main fanfic isn't fully charged, fire the short spam
instead!
FRANK: Aye!
PEARL: Death to all who oppose the Romafeller Foundation!
[SOL]
SERVO: Mike, Pearl's scaring me.
MIKE: Calm down, Servo, this is only a one-episode stunt. It'll be over soon.
*movie sign*
CROW: We've got SPAM SIIIIIGN!
6...5...4...3...2...1...
[Mike and the 'bots enter]
SERVO: I'm just going to sleep through this, and when I wake up, it will have
all
been a bad dream.
[goes to sleep]
>SLEEPER !!
[Servo wakes up]
SERVO[protesting]: I wasn't sleeping!
>-- TSSA OTC:BB
>CURRENT PRICE: $2.00-$3.00
MIKE: Wow. That's one lame business.
>STRONG BUY and HOLD
>SHORT TERM TARGET $7.00 - $9.00
>LONG TERM TARGET $12.00 - $14.00
SERVO[sarcastic]: Boy, have they got high hopes.
> Click here: AOL Investment Snapshot - TSSA(US)
>
>--Revenues rose 673% to a record $16,478,282 from $2,131,224 in 1998
CROW: Proof positive that one four-letter abbreviation can go a long way!
>
>--15 million shares outstanding, 1.4 million float, 52-week trading range
>$0.75-$6.25.
MIKE: Are they located on the ocean now?
SERVO: My...head...is filling...with...confusing...stock terms...
>
>-- Now operates 40 Spine and Rehabilitation Clinics in 9 states and the
>District of Columbia.
CROW: Hey, it's an insane assylum with chairopractic benefits!
MIKE: When these fanfics eventually drive me crazy, I hope I go to TSSA!
>
> --American Club Systems has contracted with TSSA to expand their clinics
>into their full chain of 78 fitness centers.
SERVO: And they've hired former drill sergents for private training sessions!
MIKE[drill sergent]: YOU CALL THAT A TREADMILL?! IN THE ARMY WE HAD TREADMILLS
WITH F'ING NAILS ON THE TRACK! NOW DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY! ON THE TREADMILL!
>Each "mega" fitness center
>clinic is expected to generate an average of $1 million gross per year with
>pretax earnings in excess of $250K per clinic.
CROW: Of course, so did Amazon.com, and look what's happening to them.
>
>--Tessa Complete Health Care, Inc. (www.tessa-sra.com) provides physician
>practice management services to multi-specialty clinics that focus on
>conservative, non-invasive rehabilitative care.
MIKE: TSSA: When you care to give the most to your homicidal relatives.
>The Company's services
>include clinic and regional development through implementation of the
>multi-specialty concept, marketing, payer contracting, and business,
>financial, administrative, and clinical information management.
>
SERVO: And on that confusing note, we take our leave.
1...2...3...4...5...6...
[SOL] Mike is sewing a red vest. Crow enters.
CROW: Mike, what are you doing?
MIKE: Pearl and Frank have turned this universe into Toonami, right?
CROW: Well, yes...
[Crow looks out left window at a small Space Fortress Barge. Goku's space
capsule
darts across the window]
MIKE: I figure that if we become Toonami characters too, then we can stop them
before they act out their plans.
CROW: Oh, goodie! I know just who I can be!
[Crow exits to the right. The camera follows him, until he passes Servo. Camera
focuses
on Servo, who is talking to the nanites via their scope thing.]
SERVO: You sure you can do that?
[Nanite Cam]
NED: Oh, sure! Your costume is already in the works! We'll get that prosthetic
hair
for ya, too! Shelly!
[SOL]
SERVO: Thanks, I appreciate it!
*commercial sign*
GYPSY[off-screen]: Does this leather make me look too fat?
[Servo glances off screen and shudders.]
---
>"It's just that I'm exhausted, and the fumes are getting to me.
MIKE: Great, a school where the students are force-fed narcotics.
---
T.O.M.: SCIENCE FICTION THEATER 1,000,000,000 will return in a moment.
[Toonami and CN logos]
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Jim W. (#90212)
my MiSTings and fanfiction:
http://members.aol.com/tjats/tjats.html
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"I will believe in myself
This is the only start for me"
-Sonic Adventure
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"Talented people are capable of understanding us."
-Lady Une