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SCS Millionaire 01/04/2001

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Steven Sousa

unread,

Jan 5, 2001, 10:47:27 PM1/5/01

Before I get started, I would like to announce that I have started to send
out the weekly recap in a mailing list. Never again will you miss a recap. I
will continue to send it to whereever you're reading this right now, unless
I get censored again by a weenie moderator who threatened to banish me if I
ever post anything provocative again. I don't think there'll be anything
provocative this week, but I haven't started writing yet, so you never know.

Go to www.egroups.com and subscribe to the SCS Millionaire group, or try
sending e-mail to SCSMillionai...@egroups.com which should also
work.

Even if you plan to continue to read my recap wherever you're reading it
right now, subscribe anyway and change your settings so that you don't
actually receive the e-mails. I'd like to have a feel for how many people
read my stuff every week.

And to celebrate the new mailing list, I'm adding a little something extra
at the end. I hope it doesn't get me censored again. But you never know what
a moderator won't like.

Now, on with the show!

Cool new theme music! It makes me want to dance.

Regis breaks the world's worst kept secret, about the progressive jackpot.
The next millionaire winner will receive one million dollars, plus ten
thousand per show which has passed without a winner, currently seventy-one.
So John is really playing for $1,710,000. This is apparently only a one-time
deal, and not a permanent change, although if it gets the ratings, you can
bet it'll remain.

John Simmons is our returning contestant, specifically he's returning from
Long View, Texas. Regis says he fell in love with John last time he was on.
He has a secret fetish for people who work in hotels, apparently. For $38 a
night, you can stay at the (now) world famous Long View Econo Lodge. Regis
asks if John has a girlfriend.

Regis, I don't think you need to worry about any competition. If John is
gay, I'm sure you've got a shot.

John's got all three lifelines, and he's going for the Big Milestone
question.

BM: The Tongass National Forest is located in what U.S. State?
A: California B: Washington C: Alaska D: Hawaii

John thinks he should know it, but doesn't. He's pondering which lifeline to
use. He's going to try his well-travelled brother-in-law Roy. John's sister
picks up the phone instead, and Regis again declares his love for John. I
swear I am not joking. John's sister says she loves him too. Everybody loves
John, it appears.

And somehow, defying all logic, he's single and unattached. Watch out, it's
People Magazine's 2001 Sexiest Man!

Roy at last gets on the phone. John goes against convention by not reading
the question verbatim, instead paraphrasing it to save time. That's a pretty
smart thing, and I'm surprised more people don't do it. Unfortunately, Roy
doesn't know, but guesses Hawaii just before the clock runs out.

He's going to use another lifeline, and he'll ask the audience. How much
will Roy's guess affect them? The totals are 8-23-42-27 in favor of Alaska.
27 percent agreed with the PAF, which isn't a good sign. John says he's not
a gambler, but then makes ABC executives smile by saying that the increased
jackpot makes him more likely to risk $15,000.

John says he wants to walk away, but Regis insists he at least use the
50:50, just to see what happens. It leaves Washington and Alaska. He'll go
with the audience, saying Alaska.

Final answer.

Risking $15,000,

and,

WINNING $32,000!

We're going to interrupt this love-fest for some commercials.

Millionaire is now on Fridays, thanks to The Mole. Jason Block is on my TV
again!

Regis suggests John buy the motel with his winnings. John would rather spend
more time in New York. He goes on and on about the tourist type stuff he has
done so far. Who cares?

According to Regis, "Many, many people have gone all the way without any
lifelines." So now John Carpenter is many, many people? Someone call a
psychologist!

$64,000: What is the name of the world-threatening virus in the 2000 movie
"Mission:Impossible 2"?
A: Chimera B: Proteus C: Medusa D: Bellerophon

And what a load of crap movie it was! To think that it and The Grinch were
the two highest grossing films of 2000. It makes me physically ill. What's
wrong with this country?

John is one of the three Americans who hasn't seen it, so he'll have to
guess Medusa.

Final answer.

Nope. It was Chimera.

Let's meet tonight's nine people for their five seconds of fame!

AND THEY ARE:

A very excited Dave Ostrow, Sudbury, MA. Geepers, he's that excited now. If
he gets in the hot seat, his head will probably explode.
Clay Zambo, Brooklyn, NY. Do people often tell you you look just like Brent
Spiner?
Perry Barber, New York City, no Burrough specified.
Chris Roland, Port Carbon, PA
Todd Leopold, Decatur, GA
Mark Ekstrom, Williamsburg, VA
Susan Miolla, Manalapan, NJ
Susan Glaze, Fairfaz, VA
David Brown. He's From <Andy Kaufman> Memphis, TN </AK>

FFF: Put these TV shows in the order they first debuted, starting with the
earliest.
A: Entertainment Tonight B: Extra
C: 60 Minutes II D: Inside Edition

"Entertainment Tonight is People Magazine for people who are too stupid to
read." - George Carlin

Correct order is A-D-B-C. Only Perry Barber and Susan Glaze get it right,
and the nod goes to Susan, 8.45 seconds to 9.20. She's married for 19 years,
with the Politically Correct number of children(2). Her mother Gretel is in
the relationship chair. Susan has a butterfly tattoo on her shoulder. Susan
is a stay-at-home mom. She used to be a computer programmer for the
government a long time ago.

LET'S PLAY!

$100: A person who is the subject of an experiment is often called what?
C: Guinea pig, not D: Florida voter.

$200: Angels are most commonly associated with which of these musical
instruments?
A: Harp B: Bassoon C: Sousaphone D: Kazoo

Well, I'm an angel, and my last name is Sousa, so I guess I'll have to say
C, Regis.

I would have lost! Eternal Ignomy is brought down upon me!

Susan is spared, because she said Harp.

$300: Suspenders are typically used to hold up what article of clothing?
B: Trousers

$500: Which of the following is a synonym for "serpentine"?
A: Narrow B: Winding C: Dark D: Rocky

It's Winding.

LM: What does the symbol made up of a "c" with a circle around it stand for
on a document?
A: Copyright B: Certified C: Commemorative D: Company

She's pretty sure it's Copyright.

And...

She's right!

Commercials.

Regis Philbin is The Mole!

Regis compliments the glitter in her hair. Another contestant was using
glitter hair spray, so Susan just had to have some too. If your friends
jumped off a bridge, would you do that as well?

$2000: In what city would you find the university known as "The Sorbonne"?
A: Cologne B: London C: Paris D: Amsterdam

She thinks she knows, but she'll ask the audience. Audience says Paris
overwhelmingly, 4-5-89-2. She'll agree.

Oui!

$4000: Which of the following is another name for a chickpea?
A: Soybean B: Lima Bean C: Kidney Bean D: Garbanzo bean

She knows it's Garbanzo bean. Or maybe she just likes saying "garbanzo
bean". I sure like saying "garbanzo bean". Garbanzo bean! Now, I'll say it
in the style of Cornholio. Garbanzo bean! Are you threatening me?

Garbanzo bean is the right answer!

$8000: Best-selling author Robin Cook is known for what kind of "thriller"
novels?
A: Legal B: Medical C: Historical D: Romantic

Susan has read almost all his books, so Medical is an easy choice for her.

$16,000: Which of the following contstellations contains the Big Dipper?
A: Ursa Minor B: Orion C: Ursa Major D: Virgo E: Ursa's Trousers

She studied astronomy in college a long time ago. She's hoping that the
stars' alignments haven't changed too much since then, as she'll say Ursa
Major.

Ursa Major turns yellow.

Ursa Major turns green!

BM: In the film "Close Encounters of the Third Kind," the famous recurring
intergalactic message has how many musical tones?
A: Four B: Five C: Seven D: Six

She can name that tune in...

FIVE NOTES! $32,000 is locked in!

Take control of your life by becoming dependent upon a drug for the will
power not to overeat! Meridia. Don't you love commercials which blatantly
contradict themselves?

Susan is still very nervous. With her winnings, she'll take her mom to
Germany.

$64,000: The U.S. Strategic Petroleum Reserve is stored where?
A: Alaska coast B: Texas Panhandle C: Santa Barbara coast D: Gulf
Coast

50:50 time. A and D are left. With a free guess, she'll say Alaska, due to
the presence of the pipeline.

And the correct answer is...

Gulf Coast.

See, the problem with the pipeline is that it runs through Canada. And you
just can't trust Canadians.

She leaves with her $32,000 and an unused PAF.

Next FFF: Put these movies in order of their first theatrical release,
starting with the most recent:
A: Selena B: Ghandi
C: Remember the Titans D: JFK

Correct is C-A-D-B. Half get it right, including Todd Leopold in 5.88
seconds. Todd is a book section editor for a major media company, and more
importantly to Regis, he's Mr. Trivia. Regis loves setting up contestants
for bigger falls that Alex Rodriguez. Todd has hosted a weekly trivia show
in an Atlanta bar for 9 years. No pressure, though.

$100: If a car has the ability to brake very quickly, it is said it can
"stop on a" what?
C: Dime

On the other hand, if a car has the ability to break very quickly, it is
said to be a Chevrolet.

$200: The phrase "spick-and-span" is used to describe something that is
what?
B: Dirty, not E: <Censored Racially Insensitive Comment>.

$300: The cloud created by a nuclear explosion is generally said to be
shaped like what?
B: Mushroom

$500: In the U.S. the letters in the shoe size 15EEE represent what?
C: Width

LM: What object brought the animated character Frosty the Snowman to life?
A: Corncob pipe B: Button nose C: Silk top hat D: Eyes of coal

Do you know what my vanity license plate is? FR8STY. I love snowmen.

Todd, however, doesn't, as he'll go to the audience to confirm his leaning.
The audince goes with Top Hat, 9-7-76-6. He'll agree.

"There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found, for when
they placed it on his head, he began to dance around!"

He goes for $2000 when we come back!

Helpful Tyra Banks models some lovely Victoria's Secret underwear.

Rewind.

Helpful Tyra Banks models some lovely Victoria's Secret underwear.

Rewind.

Afrin nasal spray helps you to breathe! AAAAAAAA! Rewinded too far!

Helpful Tyra Banks models some lovely Victoria's Secret underwear.

That's better. I hate it when my hand slips off.

The remote, I mean.

Todd's girlfriend Sara looks a lot like Natalie Merchant. She is a college
professor of History. They've been going together for six years. You see,
liberal History college professors don't believe in the patriarchal
institution of marriage.

$2000: Which of the following meat dishes is normally not served on a stick?
A: Satay B: Corn dog C: Shish kabob D: Beef stroganoff

Speaking of beef stroganoff,

Rewind.

Helpful Tyra Banks models some lovely Victoria's Secret underwear.

Rewind.

Helpful Tyra Banks models some lovely Victoria's Secret underwear.

Todd immediately rules out shish kabob and corn dog, as he knows they are
served on a stick. He's never heard of satay, but he thinks he's had beef
stroganoff. It wasn't on a stick.

Final answer.

Beef stroganoff turns yellow.

Beef stroganoff turns green!

$4000: Greg Kinnear was the first host of what popular cable TV series?
A: Remote Control B: Talk Soup C: Loveline D: Dinner and a Movie

Todd remembers Talk Soup.

$8000: A Lipizzaner is a renowned breed of what kind of animal?
A: Dog B: Monkey C: Horse D: Elephant E: Mick Jagger

Todd says horse.

Correct!

$16000: In May 2000, the wife of which of the following foreign leaders gave
birth to a baby boy named Leo?
A: Tony Blair B: Jacques Chirac C: Ehud Barak D: Vladimir Putin

He knows that Mr. Blair's wife recently gave birth to a boy, but isn't sure
about the name. But he'll still guess A.

Leo Blair?

Yes!

BM: The ballerinas of Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo are all what?
A: Under 12 years old B: Puppets C: Over 65 years old D: Men

Speaking of which, have you all checked out Brain Donors yet? What are you
waiting for?

Todd has never heard of LBTMC. 50:50 leaves Puppets and Men. He'll have to
call a friend. He'll call Michael, a clerk for the U.S. courts in Florida.
Michael hasn't heard of it. He guesses Puppets. His certainty is a 3 on a
scale of 5. Will Mr. Trivia walk with $16,000? No, He'll go with Puppets.

Les Puppets is the guess,

and Mr. Trivia,

GOES DOWN IN FLAMES!!!

It was Men, men, men, men, men, men, men, men.

If I ever get in the hot seat, I'm telling Regis I'm the biggest moron in
the history of the show. I'll ask him to explain the lifelines three times
because I'm having trouble grasping the concept. I'll act like I think I'm
really on Whose Line Is It Anyway, and improvise scenes from all of the
questions. Because anyone who brags about their trivia knowledge loses
without fail.

FFF: Put these cities in order according to their distance from NYC,
starting with the smelliest, I mean, closest.
A: Seattle, WA B: Chicago, IL C: Denver, CO D: Cleveland, OH

D-B-C-A is correct. Susan Miolla is the fastest of five, in 5.24 seconds.

She'll play after this break.

Break.

Susan is a former school teacher from Brooklyn. She bears an uncanny
resemblance to the real estate agent who sold the Ghostbusters their
headquarters. Regis asks her if she's a trivia buff. She says yes. KISS OF
DEATH!!! REGIS IS THE MOLE!!!

$100: The presence of what makes a "white Christmas" white?
A: Snow, not D: The Osmonds

$200: Doing much more than expected is said to be "going above and beyond
the call of" what?
B: Duty, not D: The Bat-phone

$300: AHWHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

And now, my bonus non-game show section:

The following is my own personal estimate of the ten women who would
potentially get the most money if they ever agreed to pose nude for Playboy
magazine, ranked by how much money I think they'd get.

Note that I have no idea whether any of the following actually ever would
pose for Playboy, in fact a lot of them seem to have a strict no-nudity
policy. In circular logic, this adds to their value in many cases.

I apologize to any famously sexy women I have forgotten.

1. Britney Spears

This should be completely obvious, and I shouldn't need to defend this
choice for #1, but here's three things that make Britney the
only choice. First, she was the most popular Lycos search in 2000.
Bigger than Pokemon, the WWF, George Bush or Al Gore. And people using
the internet to search for "Britney Spears" are looking for only one
thing: nude photos. Second, the most talked-about musical performance
of this year was her at the MTV awards, where she was wearing a
flesh-colored outfit. Third, her Rolling Stone cover was the most
talked about magazine cover since Demi Moore, and Britney wasn't
even close to nude. There is incredible demand to see Britney's goods,
and she'd probably be the first ever eight-figure centerfold.

And if I were her, I'd do it in a heartbeat. Forget the "moral issue"
because posing nude is not a moral question at all. Some people are
comfortable posing nude, others aren't. Those that aren't comfortable
aren't more moral than those who are, they're just more shy. And as
for its effect on her career, well I don't think the Sex book killed
Madonna's career, did it? If Britney has real talent, her career will
go on for a long time, Playboy or no Playboy. But if she's just a
creation of her record company, her shelf life is almost up anyway,
Playboy or no Playboy. She should pose now, before her popularity
starts to wane. If I were her manager, that's what I'd be telling her.

2. Julia Roberts

She's the biggest female movie star in the world, and she's never done
a single nude scene, ever. The closest she's ever gotten is the bubble
bath scene in Pretty Woman where if you freeze frame at exactly the
right second you can almost, if you squint, see her nipple. Maybe it's
better on the DVD, although it wouldn't surprise me if the DVD version
was edited to remove those few frames. Let's be honest, Erin Brockovich
completely stunk, but did over $100 million because Julia was in
miniskirts throughout it. I'll bet a Playboy with Julia on the cover
would sell a few copies, don't you?

3. Stephanie McMahon

For those of you who might not follow wrestling, Stephanie is the
real-life daughter of WWF owner Vince McMahon, and for the past few
years, she's also been a participant in the on-air story lines. The
Playboys with WWF stars Sable and Chyna have been among the biggest
selling issues ever. And WWF fans had already gotten the chance to see
both of them virtually nude. Stephanie, being the owner's daughter,
has never been sexually degraded on camera, or been in a mud wrestling
match, although she was de-bloused this week. Stephanie nude
would be every WWF fan's wet dream, and the on-air feud with Vince
over it would be an all-time classic. Too bad real-life Vince will
never let it happen.

4. Chelsea Clinton

She makes the list purely because of her father, although she probably
ought to be a bit lower than this since he's leaving office this month.
Still, she's fairly good looking, and being the daughter of a president
seems to make the public more interested in you.

5. Shania Twain

In terms of overall appeal, I think Shania is even bigger than Britney,
but the reason she's lower on this list is because fewer of her fans
are teenage boys, and more of them are conservative southerner types
who, even though they'd love to see her nude, would never actually buy
a copy of Playboy.

6. Anna Kournikova

She certainly belongs in the top ten, but I honestly don't understand
her extreme popularity. She's not that attractive, and she's not that
great a tennis player. Gabriella Sabatini has her beat in both
categories. Maybe it's the fact that every other current female
tennis player, except maybe the Williams sisters, is either a lesbian
or looks like a lesbian.

7. Jennifer Lopez

She makes the top ten somewhat on her acting and singing credits, but
mostly because of that dress. You remember it, and so does everyone
else in America.

8. Tina Turner

I don't care if she's 80 years old. The woman has a great body and
she knows how to work it.

9. Madonna

Yeah, I know that everyone in the world has already seen nude photos
of her. But she's still one of the biggest stars in the world, and she
knows how to generate publicity. Hef would certainly pay for that.

10. Krista Allen

This choice is my only conceit, as I happen to think that Krista Allen
is the most beautiful actress alive today, tied with Charlize Theron.
But Charlize has already done Playboy. I first fell in love with
Krista on Days Of Our Lives, where as Billie she kept getting
inexplicably dumped by Bo for Hope. That man is stupid. Now she's
starring on Baywatch Hawaii, and we all know that Baywatch Babes sell
well when on the cover of Playboy, right?

Plus she bears a striking resemblance to my wife, so I'm a bit biased.

Anyone who knows how I might obtain a copy of all six episodes of
Emmanuelle: Queen of the Galaxy would earn my everlasting
gratitude.

See you all right back here next week.

Steve Sousa

Brett A. Pasternack

unread,

Jan 6, 2001, 1:20:20 AM1/6/01

Steven Sousa wrote:

> Even if you plan to continue to read my recap wherever you're reading it
> right now, subscribe anyway and change your settings so that you don't
> actually receive the e-mails. I'd like to have a feel for how many people
> read my stuff every week.

Well, I haven't gone and subscribed, because I'd end up reading it when
I couldn't post a reply and I'd drive myself nuts, so here you go. B^)

> 1. Britney Spears
>
> This should be completely obvious, and I shouldn't need to defend this
> choice for #1, but here's three things that make Britney the
> only choice. First, she was the most popular Lycos search in 2000.
> Bigger than Pokemon, the WWF, George Bush or Al Gore. And people using
> the internet to search for "Britney Spears" are looking for only one
> thing: nude photos. Second, the most talked-about musical performance
> of this year was her at the MTV awards, where she was wearing a
> flesh-colored outfit. Third, her Rolling Stone cover was the most
> talked about magazine cover since Demi Moore, and Britney wasn't
> even close to nude. There is incredible demand to see Britney's goods,
> and she'd probably be the first ever eight-figure centerfold.

Not only that...

Go to just about any porn newsgroup, and you'll see spam posts with
titles like "Britney's tits" or "Britney nude". Considering that
everyone *knows* that there are no such pictures, the fact that this is
considered the best way to attract interest tells you a lot. Also
consider: I know someone who'd pay to see that issue, and he's *FOUR*.
He can't even properly *say* "Britney Spears", and he's in love. B^)

> 3. Stephanie McMahon

Hey, I'd sure like to see the putative Mrs. Helmsley in the altogether,
but, as successful as Playboy's links to the WWF have been, I don't
think you can quite put her in the same category with the major
mainstream celebrities. The WWF fans know who Anna Kournikova and
Jennifer Lopez are, but there are plenty of people who don't know or
care about pro wrestling.

How about Jennifer Aniston? I don't think she's ever done any
significant nudes, and she's pretty over. Ditto Mariah Carey. Drew
Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Natalie Portman, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Christina
Aguilera, Janet Jackson, Meg Ryan, Helen Hunt--these are big stars, and
they'd generate more sales and publicity than someone like Steph could,
especially given that Playboy probably feels that WWF fans who might
become regulars probably have by this point.

> 4. Chelsea Clinton
>
> She makes the list purely because of her father, although she probably
> ought to be a bit lower than this since he's leaving office this month.
> Still, she's fairly good looking, and being the daughter of a president
> seems to make the public more interested in you.

I always thought she was very cute, but a lot of people don't. Still,
the mere fact of her being a former first daughter would certainly be
big. Before too long, you'll be able to add the Bush kids to the list as
well.

> 6. Anna Kournikova
>
> She certainly belongs in the top ten, but I honestly don't understand
> her extreme popularity. She's not that attractive, and she's not that
> great a tennis player. Gabriella Sabatini has her beat in both
> categories. Maybe it's the fact that every other current female
> tennis player, except maybe the Williams sisters, is either a lesbian
> or looks like a lesbian.

Not that attractive? Man, I want to live on the planet where *that's*
true! Then again, I'm partial to athletic women; I'd personally rather
see Martina Hingis or Lindsay Davenport naked than some of the women on
your list, although I know most people would disagree.

Steven Sousa

unread,

Jan 6, 2001, 8:41:51 AM1/6/01

Brett A. Pasternack wrote in message <3A56B9...@erols.com>...

>Steven Sousa wrote:
>
>> Even if you plan to continue to read my recap wherever you're reading it
>> right now, subscribe anyway and change your settings so that you don't
>> actually receive the e-mails. I'd like to have a feel for how many people
>> read my stuff every week.
>
>Well, I haven't gone and subscribed, because I'd end up reading it when
>I couldn't post a reply and I'd drive myself nuts, so here you go. B^)

So join the mailing list, and choose the "no e-mail" option. You won't get
the recaps mailed to you, but I'll know you're reading.

>> 3. Stephanie McMahon
>
>Hey, I'd sure like to see the putative Mrs. Helmsley in the altogether,
>but, as successful as Playboy's links to the WWF have been, I don't
>think you can quite put her in the same category with the major
>mainstream celebrities. The WWF fans know who Anna Kournikova and
>Jennifer Lopez are, but there are plenty of people who don't know or
>care about pro wrestling.

I'm not sure if you know how successful the Sable and Chyna Playboys have
been. Sable's first issue was the biggest selling issue of all time. As far
as Hef is concerned, not only are WWF women on a par with more "mainstream"
women, they're superior, and Steph Bear is far and away the most "valuable"
WWF woman. I don't think #3 is far fetched at all. YMMV.

>How about Jennifer Aniston? I don't think she's ever done any
>significant nudes, and she's pretty over.

I don't think she's pretty over. Friends isn't nearly as big as it once was,
and all her movies have flopped.

>Ditto Mariah Carey.

Mariah was close to making my list.

>Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz,

I'm pretty sure I've seen nude photos of these two already.

>Natalie Portman

I think she's seventeen, so I couldn't include her in the list.

>Julia Louis-Dreyfus,

Elayne from Seinfeld? I think she'd have to pay Hef.

>these are big stars, and
>they'd generate more sales and publicity than someone like Steph could,
>especially given that Playboy probably feels that WWF fans who might
>become regulars probably have by this point.

I don't think the WWF fans have become Playboy subscribers at all.

>> 6. Anna Kournikova
>>
>> She certainly belongs in the top ten, but I honestly don't understand
>> her extreme popularity. She's not that attractive, and she's not that
>> great a tennis player. Gabriella Sabatini has her beat in both
>> categories. Maybe it's the fact that every other current female
>> tennis player, except maybe the Williams sisters, is either a lesbian
>> or looks like a lesbian.
>
>Not that attractive? Man, I want to live on the planet where *that's*
>true! Then again, I'm partial to athletic women; I'd personally rather
>see Martina Hingis or Lindsay Davenport naked than some of the women on
>your list, although I know most people would disagree.

Different strokes for different folks I guess. She dresses provocatively,
but I'm just not that into her. And I like athletic women, as I said I often
drooled for Gabby, and I was close to putting Gabrielle Reece or Brandi
Chastain in my top ten.

Steve

Dean Scungio

unread,

Jan 6, 2001, 11:21:46 AM1/6/01

The recent "VH-1 Pop-Up Video" repeats of the second Celebrity "Millionaire"
series has inspired me to "pop-up" the recaps. I may not have production
notes, but there is a lot of trivia here.

Let's just see what happens. Corrections are appreciated.

. o O ( Date: 1/4/2001 )
. o O ( Jackpot: $1,710,000 )

Steven Sousa <ae...@aurora.mv.com.XYZ> wrote in message
news:9364lj$rjk$1...@pyrite.mv.net...

> Before I get started, I would like to announce that I have started to send
> out the weekly recap in a mailing list. Never again will you miss a recap.
I
> will continue to send it to whereever you're reading this right now,
unless
> I get censored again by a weenie moderator who threatened to banish me if
I
> ever post anything provocative again. I don't think there'll be anything
> provocative this week, but I haven't started writing yet, so you never
know.
>
> Go to www.egroups.com and subscribe to the SCS Millionaire group, or try
> sending e-mail to SCSMillionai...@egroups.com which should also
> work.
>
> Even if you plan to continue to read my recap wherever you're reading it
> right now, subscribe anyway and change your settings so that you don't
> actually receive the e-mails. I'd like to have a feel for how many people
> read my stuff every week.
>
> And to celebrate the new mailing list, I'm adding a little something extra
> at the end. I hope it doesn't get me censored again. But you never know
what
> a moderator won't like.
>
> Now, on with the show!
>
> Cool new theme music! It makes me want to dance.
>

. o O ( "Dance Fever" debuted in 1979. )

> Regis breaks the world's worst kept secret, about the progressive jackpot.
> The next millionaire winner will receive one million dollars, plus ten
> thousand per show which has passed without a winner, currently
seventy-one.
> So John is really playing for $1,710,000. This is apparently only a
one-time
> deal, and not a permanent change, although if it gets the ratings, you can
> bet it'll remain.
>

. o O ( "Millionaire" currently has about 20 million viewers. )

> John Simmons is our returning contestant, specifically he's returning from
> Long View, Texas. Regis says he fell in love with John last time he was
on.
> He has a secret fetish for people who work in hotels, apparently. For $38
a
> night, you can stay at the (now) world famous Long View Econo Lodge.

. o O ( $1,710,000 at $38 per night = over 123-year stay )

> Regis
> asks if John has a girlfriend.
>
> Regis, I don't think you need to worry about any competition. If John is
> gay, I'm sure you've got a shot.
>
> John's got all three lifelines, and he's going for the Big Milestone
> question.
>
> BM: The Tongass National Forest is located in what U.S. State?
> A: California B: Washington C: Alaska D: Hawaii
>

. o O ( The Tongass National Forest covers 17 million acres. )
. o O ( It's the largest national forest in the U.S. )

> John thinks he should know it, but doesn't. He's pondering which lifeline
to
> use. He's going to try his well-travelled brother-in-law Roy. John's
sister
> picks up the phone instead, and Regis again declares his love for John. I
> swear I am not joking. John's sister says she loves him too. Everybody
loves
> John, it appears.
>
> And somehow, defying all logic, he's single and unattached. Watch out,
it's
> People Magazine's 2001 Sexiest Man!
>

. o O ( Brad Pitt was chosen as People's "Sexiest Man Alive" for 2000. )
. o O ( Regis did not make the list. )
. o O ( "Survivor"'s Rudy Boesch did. )

. o O ( The same issue featured makeovers of famous "Millionaire"
contestants. )

> Roy at last gets on the phone. John goes against convention by not reading
> the question verbatim, instead paraphrasing it to save time. That's a
pretty
> smart thing, and I'm surprised more people don't do it. Unfortunately, Roy
> doesn't know, but guesses Hawaii just before the clock runs out.
>
> He's going to use another lifeline, and he'll ask the audience. How much
> will Roy's guess affect them? The totals are 8-23-42-27 in favor of
Alaska.
> 27 percent agreed with the PAF, which isn't a good sign. John says he's
not
> a gambler, but then makes ABC executives smile by saying that the
increased
> jackpot makes him more likely to risk $15,000.
>
> John says he wants to walk away, but Regis insists he at least use the
> 50:50, just to see what happens. It leaves Washington and Alaska. He'll go
> with the audience, saying Alaska.
>
> Final answer.
>
> Risking $15,000,
>
> and,
>
> WINNING $32,000!
>

. o O ( On-air time to answer: 5:35 )

> We're going to interrupt this love-fest for some commercials.
>
> Millionaire is now on Fridays, thanks to The Mole. Jason Block is on my TV
> again!
>
> Regis suggests John buy the motel with his winnings. John would rather
spend
> more time in New York. He goes on and on about the tourist type stuff he
has
> done so far.

. o O ( 38 million tourists visited NYC in 2000. )

. o O ( Who's buried in Grant's Tomb? )
. o O ( No one. Grant and his wife are entombed, not buried. )

> Who cares?
>
> According to Regis, "Many, many people have gone all the way without any
> lifelines." So now John Carpenter is many, many people? Someone call a
> psychologist!
>

. o O ( Millionaire Joe Trela had no lifelines at the $64,000 question. )

> $64,000: What is the name of the world-threatening virus in the 2000 movie
> "Mission:Impossible 2"?
> A: Chimera B: Proteus C: Medusa D: Bellerophon

. o O ( Names of world-threatening computer viruses: )
. o O ( Melissa )
. o O ( ILOVEYOU )
. o O ( ExploreZip )
. o O ( Chernobyl )

>
> And what a load of crap movie it was! To think that it and The Grinch were
> the two highest grossing films of 2000. It makes me physically ill.

. o O ( "The Grinch" earned $253 million in U.S. ticket sales. )
. o O ( "MI:2" earned $215 million. )
. o O ( That's "gross". )

> What's
> wrong with this country?
>

. o O ( "What a country!" -Yakov Smirnoff )

> John is one of the three Americans who hasn't seen it, so he'll have to
> guess Medusa.
>
> Final answer.
>
> Nope. It was Chimera.
>

. o O ( Chimera: a Greek mythlogical creature with the head of a lion, the
body of a goat and the tail of a dragon )
. o O ( Proteus: shape-shifting Greek god who served as Poseidon's servant )
. o O ( Medusa: Greek creature with hair of serpents whose gaze can turn
people into stone )
. o O ( Bellerophon: Greek mythological hero who killed the Chimera )

> Let's meet tonight's nine people for their five seconds of fame!
>
> AND THEY ARE:
>
> A very excited Dave Ostrow, Sudbury, MA. Geepers, he's that excited now.
If
> he gets in the hot seat, his head will probably explode.
> Clay Zambo, Brooklyn, NY. Do people often tell you you look just like
Brent
> Spiner?

. o O ( Brent Spiner played Data on "Star Trek: The Next Generation". )

> Perry Barber, New York City, no Burrough specified.

. o O ( NYC has 5 boroughs. )

> Chris Roland, Port Carbon, PA
> Todd Leopold, Decatur, GA
> Mark Ekstrom, Williamsburg, VA
> Susan Miolla, Manalapan, NJ
> Susan Glaze, Fairfaz, VA
> David Brown. He's From <Andy Kaufman> Memphis, TN </AK>
>
> FFF: Put these TV shows in the order they first debuted, starting with the
> earliest.
> A: Entertainment Tonight B: Extra
> C: 60 Minutes II D: Inside Edition
>
> "Entertainment Tonight is People Magazine for people who are too stupid to
> read." - George Carlin
>

. o O ( George Carlin has also never been named People's "Sexiest Man
Alive". )

> Correct order is A-D-B-C.

. o O ( 1981; 1987; 1993; 1999 )

> Only Perry Barber and Susan Glaze get it right,
> and the nod goes to Susan, 8.45 seconds to 9.20. She's married for 19
years,
> with the Politically Correct number of children(2). Her mother Gretel is
in
> the relationship chair. Susan has a butterfly tattoo on her shoulder.

. o O ( Hervé Villechaize played Tattoo on TV's "Fantasy Island". )

> Susan
> is a stay-at-home mom. She used to be a computer programmer for the
> government a long time ago.
>
> LET'S PLAY!
>
> $100: A person who is the subject of an experiment is often called what?
> C: Guinea pig, not D: Florida voter.

. o O ( The guinea pig is not from Guinea in Africa. )
. o O ( It's from Brazil. )

>
> $200: Angels are most commonly associated with which of these musical
> instruments?
> A: Harp B: Bassoon C: Sousaphone D: Kazoo
>
> Well, I'm an angel, and my last name is Sousa, so I guess I'll have to say
> C, Regis.
>
> I would have lost! Eternal Ignomy is brought down upon me!
>
> Susan is spared, because she said Harp.
>
> $300: Suspenders are typically used to hold up what article of clothing?
> B: Trousers
>

. o O ( Jaleel White played Urkel on TV's "Family Matters". )

> $500: Which of the following is a synonym for "serpentine"?
> A: Narrow B: Winding C: Dark D: Rocky
>
> It's Winding.
>
> LM: What does the symbol made up of a "c" with a circle around it stand
for
> on a document?
> A: Copyright B: Certified C: Commemorative D: Company
>
> She's pretty sure it's Copyright.
>
> And...
>
> She's right!
>

. o O ( The 1998 Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act extended copyrights
for an additional 20 years. )
. o O ( Anything copyrighted before 1978 now lasts for 95 years. )

> Commercials.
>
> Regis Philbin is The Mole!
>
> Regis compliments the glitter in her hair. Another contestant was using
> glitter hair spray, so Susan just had to have some too. If your friends
> jumped off a bridge, would you do that as well?
>
> $2000: In what city would you find the university known as "The Sorbonne"?
> A: Cologne B: London C: Paris D: Amsterdam
>
> She thinks she knows, but she'll ask the audience. Audience says Paris
> overwhelmingly, 4-5-89-2. She'll agree.
>
> Oui!
>

. o O ( $2,000 = 13,879 francs )

> $4000: Which of the following is another name for a chickpea?
> A: Soybean B: Lima Bean C: Kidney Bean D: Garbanzo bean
>
> She knows it's Garbanzo bean. Or maybe she just likes saying "garbanzo
> bean". I sure like saying "garbanzo bean". Garbanzo bean! Now, I'll say it
> in the style of Cornholio. Garbanzo bean! Are you threatening me?
>
> Garbanzo bean is the right answer!
>

. o O ( "garbanzo" is another name for the chickpea plant. )

> $8000: Best-selling author Robin Cook is known for what kind of "thriller"
> novels?
> A: Legal B: Medical C: Historical D: Romantic
>
> Susan has read almost all his books, so Medical is an easy choice for her.
>

. o O ( Robin Cook book titles: )
. o O ( "Coma" )
. o O ( "Outbreak" )
. o O ( "Vital Signs" )
. o O ( "Toxin" )
. o O ( "Mutation" )

> $16,000: Which of the following contstellations contains the Big Dipper?
> A: Ursa Minor B: Orion C: Ursa Major D: Virgo E: Ursa's
Trousers
>
> She studied astronomy in college a long time ago. She's hoping that the
> stars' alignments haven't changed too much since then, as she'll say Ursa
> Major.
>
> Ursa Major turns yellow.
>
> Ursa Major turns green!
>

. o O ( Ursa Minor contains the Little Dipper. )

> BM: In the film "Close Encounters of the Third Kind," the famous recurring
> intergalactic message has how many musical tones?
> A: Four B: Five C: Seven D: Six
>

. o O ( A "close encounter of the third kind" is defined as seeing a UFO
with "visible occupants". )

> She can name that tune in...
>
> FIVE NOTES! $32,000 is locked in!
>
> Take control of your life by becoming dependent upon a drug for the will
> power not to overeat! Meridia. Don't you love commercials which blatantly
> contradict themselves?
>
> Susan is still very nervous. With her winnings, she'll take her mom to
> Germany.
>

. o O ( $1,710,000 = 3,539,639 Deutsche marks )

> $64,000: The U.S. Strategic Petroleum Reserve is stored where?
> A: Alaska coast B: Texas Panhandle C: Santa Barbara coast D: Gulf
> Coast
>
> 50:50 time. A and D are left. With a free guess, she'll say Alaska, due to
> the presence of the pipeline.
>
> And the correct answer is...
>
> Gulf Coast.
>
> See, the problem with the pipeline is that it runs through Canada. And you
> just can't trust Canadians.
>

. o O ( "Blame Canada!" -residents of "South Park" )

> She leaves with her $32,000 and an unused PAF.
>
> Next FFF: Put these movies in order of their first theatrical release,
> starting with the most recent:
> A: Selena B: Ghandi
> C: Remember the Titans D: JFK
>
> Correct is C-A-D-B.

. o O ( 2000; 1997; 1991; 1982 )

> Half get it right, including Todd Leopold in 5.88
> seconds. Todd is a book section editor for a major media company, and more
> importantly to Regis, he's Mr. Trivia. Regis loves setting up contestants
> for bigger falls that Alex Rodriguez. Todd has hosted a weekly trivia show
> in an Atlanta bar for 9 years. No pressure, though.
>
> $100: If a car has the ability to brake very quickly, it is said it can
> "stop on a" what?
> C: Dime
>
> On the other hand, if a car has the ability to break very quickly, it is
> said to be a Chevrolet.
>
> $200: The phrase "spick-and-span" is used to describe something that is
> what?
> B: Dirty, not E: <Censored Racially Insensitive Comment>.
>

. o O ( Procter & Gamble bought the rights to the cleanser Spic and Span in
1945. )

> $300: The cloud created by a nuclear explosion is generally said to be
> shaped like what?
> B: Mushroom
>

. o O ( Mushroom clouds appeared over Hiroshima and Nagasaki in August
1945. )

> $500: In the U.S. the letters in the shoe size 15EEE represent what?
> C: Width
>
> LM: What object brought the animated character Frosty the Snowman to life?
> A: Corncob pipe B: Button nose C: Silk top hat D: Eyes of coal
>

. o O ( The "Frosty the Snowman" TV special debuted in 1969. )

> Do you know what my vanity license plate is? FR8STY. I love snowmen.
>

. o O ( In golf, shooting an 8 on a hole is called a "snowman". )

> Todd, however, doesn't, as he'll go to the audience to confirm his
leaning.
> The audince goes with Top Hat, 9-7-76-6. He'll agree.
>
> "There must have been some magic in that old silk hat they found, for when
> they placed it on his head, he began to dance around!"
>

. o O ( The theme song was written by Steve Nelson and Walter E. Rollins. )

> He goes for $2000 when we come back!
>
> Helpful Tyra Banks models some lovely Victoria's Secret underwear.
>