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Guy Fieri's Map of Douchitude

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Ubiquitous

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Jan 22, 2007, 12:37:34 PM1/22/07
to
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_gi/text/0,,FOOD_26717_48262,00.html

Guy Fieri's bleached blonde hair, goatee and skateboarder shorts make a
strong statement -- you are
what you eat! Whether it's his Mojito Chicken, Pepperoni Lasagna or
Jambalaya Sandwich, one thing
is certain -- Guy Fieri's food is as fun, fearless and fundamental as
his larger than life personality. We
hope you're hungry because this Guy's imagination knows no limits. Open
wide for Guy's Big Bite.

Middle-age crisis, much, Guy?

SFrunner

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Jan 22, 2007, 5:58:09 PM1/22/07
to


That and you wonder why he has such a big gut...bleh...

It's Chili's food at home!!! yuck!

bizook

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Jan 22, 2007, 9:13:23 PM1/22/07
to

Let's add some insult to this injury, shall we?

http://www.guyfieri.com

Kevin

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Mar 4, 2007, 6:28:17 AM3/4/07
to
biz...@yahoo.com wrote:

>Let's add some insult to this injury, shall we?
>
>http://www.guyfieri.com

http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_gi/text/0,2857,FOOD_26717_48267,00.html

His posse:
Mustard: Matt Sprouls. The key guy on my BBQ team Motley Que. He's in my video diary.
Dirty P: Paul Thompson. He's named Dirty P because you gotta meet him.
Kleetus: Kevin Cox. He has a big truck and likes to drive us around.
The Spaniard: His real name is REL and he's a hairstylist and ex-breakdancer.
The Oppussum: Jess Smith. He's a taxidermist.
Uncle Milty: A real estate mortgage broker member of the BBQ team Motley Que.
Pintodious: Matt Pintor, a locksmith, which helps out in a lot of ways.
Daly: Brian Daly. He lives in Vegas.
Reno: Eric Swikel. He's nicknamed Reno because he's not big enough to handle Vegas.
Grumpy Pete: Pete Howe is my best friend from college and he's always pissed.
Sundance: Chris Lands. He can't handle things, he's always going down.

Ubiquitous

unread,
Mar 5, 2007, 6:34:28 PM3/5/07
to
hotfunm...@freemailru.com"Kevin" wrote:

>http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/show_gi/text/0,2857,FOOD_26717_48267,00.html
>
>His posse:
>Mustard: Matt Sprouls. The key guy on my BBQ team Motley Que. He's in my video diary.
>Dirty P: Paul Thompson. He's named Dirty P because you gotta meet him.
>Kleetus: Kevin Cox. He has a big truck and likes to drive us around.
>The Spaniard: His real name is REL and he's a hairstylist and ex-breakdancer.
>The Oppussum: Jess Smith. He's a taxidermist.
>Uncle Milty: A real estate mortgage broker member of the BBQ team Motley Que.
>Pintodious: Matt Pintor, a locksmith, which helps out in a lot of ways.
>Daly: Brian Daly. He lives in Vegas.
>Reno: Eric Swikel. He's nicknamed Reno because he's not big enough to handle Vegas.
>Grumpy Pete: Pete Howe is my best friend from college and he's always pissed.
>Sundance: Chris Lands. He can't handle things, he's always going down.

What kind of lame-ass names are those? FFS, GROW UP, you losers!


ted nuckols

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Mar 6, 2007, 5:37:13 PM3/6/07
to
Tater tots are to Guy Fieri as ______________ is/are to Sandra Lee:

a. Almonds
b. "Whipped topping"
c. Craft stores
d. Booze
e. All of the above


In article <4bidnWwCj4jDaynY...@giganews.com>, web...@polaris.net
wrote:

Ubiquitous

unread,
Mar 14, 2007, 5:12:50 AM3/14/07
to
In article <esl6i...@eGroups.com>, tednu...@gmail.com wrote:

>Tater tots are to Guy Fieri as ______________ is/are to Sandra Lee:
>
>a. Almonds
>b. "Whipped topping"
>c. Craft stores
>d. Booze
>e. All of the above

Heh. Obviously it's "e".

Back to the subject, here's another interview with the troll:
http://superchefblog.com/archive/2006_06_01_archive.html

Superchefblog spoke to Guy Fieri, the season two winner of The Next Food
Network Star on the Food Network. Guy's Big Bite, a half-hour series on
Sundays at 10:00 a.m., started yesterday, June 25, 2006.

Guy's Big Bite is what Food Network founder and former president of CNN, Reese
Schonfeld, would call a "dump and stir" cooking show -- that is, Guy in front
of the camera, in a "home" kitchen, putting together a meal. Episodes include
recipes such as Bloody Mary Steak, Tater Tots, a grilled Romaine salad.

Guy is a fast talking, bleached-blond, spiked-haired, owner of four
restaurants in Sonoma County, California. He's Emeril Lagasse meets Rachael
Ray -- with a bit of Bobby Flay tossed in. Whether that constitutes a re-hash
or an original dish, you can judge for yourself in part by watching his new
show.

Guy described his new show to Superchfeblog:

I never wanted to get stuck with one ethnicity. I am not
trying to do crazy food, garlic parmesan tater tot -- when
was the last time you had a tater tot? You feed them to
your kids. But these are great. It is about no boundaries,
big flavor, bold flavor, easy to do techniques and style.

And the title comes from...?

"Big" is one of my mottos. "Go big, or go home!" is the
motto of my barbecue team. Everything I do, I do to an
extreme. If I am in it, I do it big. It is not that I am
trying to be an extremist, but I have just on and off.

Guy's signature look is an arm band. In the first show he has a thick, black
arm band strapped around his forearm, matching the one his nine-year old son,
Hunter wears. He explained:

I wear a reggae. I am trying to find a pink one to
support breast cancer research. Emeril has "Bam!" I
have an arm band.

He sees himself as edgier and racier than Emeril or Bobby, appealing to
Generation X.

Guy has plans to be a Super Chef, with a cookbook, a line of products that are
based on his work in restaurants since he was 12 years old. His mentors
include his father who used to take him up to the family cabin, and play a
game, challenging him to come up with dinner. He would give him a piece of
chicken and he would have to fix dinner with whatever was in the cupboards. He
says both his parents are great cooks and an exchange trip to France taught
him about the basis of American food. His father now works for him in
construction and maintenance for his four restaurants.

Another mentor is Kenny Bernstein:

Kenny Bernstein is a world champion drag racer. I am
really into drag racing: Kenny is the King. He needs
money, so he has a chain of 26 restaurants. His advice
to me was: restaurants could be a good vehicle, but don't
let it take hold of you.

Stay tuned to see just how big Guy Fieri can get.


[Uh, no thanks. That would only encourage this desperate poser]


Nancy2

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Mar 14, 2007, 12:10:25 PM3/14/07
to

> Stay tuned to see just how big Guy Fieri can get.
>
> [Uh, no thanks. That would only encourage this desperate poser]


Shouldn't that be "poseur?" LOL.

I kinda like the Guy in short doses.

N.

DAVID CASTILLO

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Mar 28, 2007, 7:25:05 AM3/28/07
to
nancy-...@uiowa.edu wrote:

First it was Guy's Big Bite, now it's Guy's Big Ego:
http://superchefblog.com/2006/06/guy-fieri-wants-to-be-super-chef.html#links

It's everything I thought that he would say. I personally think that
Generation X is either unaware of Guy, or at least quietly snickering
among themselves.

Oliver Louis

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Mar 28, 2007, 8:29:35 AM3/28/07
to
In article <auto-000...@attmail-alt2.att.net.mx>,

Dear goodness, that man is so unattractive and overstyled and
grasping-at-"youth" that he's just embarrassing, kind of like if you had to
watch you grandma go to a rave. And if your grandma were a jackass, too.

Sailer Paster

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Mar 28, 2007, 9:43:51 AM3/28/07
to
qtm...@ipp.avantel.net wrote:

>First it was Guy's Big Bite, now it's Guy's Big Ego:
>http://superchefblog.com/2006/06/guy-fieri-wants-to-be-super-chef.html#links
>
>It's everything I thought that he would say. I personally think that
>Generation X is either unaware of Guy, or at least quietly snickering
>among themselves.

"He sees himself as edgier and racier than Emeril or Bobby, appealing to Generation X."

That sentence is killing me!

I can't believe he could compare himself favorably to Emeril and Bobby in any way.
Their reputations as chefs and restauranteurs are so superior to Guy's. ("Who?")

How about Guy v. Bobby on ICA--with Steingarten, Ted and Karine judging his SLop and
Alton adding snark? I would so love to see his deluded self slapped down. Never happen,
not on the new FN, but one can dream....


ETA: And is his trademark gimmick, that armband, really called "a reggae"? That just
sounds so stupid. Because, Guy? I know I'm hopelessly unhip, but even I can recognize
an insufferable poser.


Dan Abel

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Mar 28, 2007, 1:02:08 PM3/28/07
to
In article
<20070328084351.RZEX1587...@mail.bellsouth.net>,
Sailer Paster <microso...@bellsouth.net> wrote:


> I can't believe he could compare himself favorably to Emeril and Bobby in any
> way.
> Their reputations as chefs and restauranteurs are so superior to Guy's.
> ("Who?")


His presentation doesn't impress me. His looks don't impress me. But
he has owned restaurants, managed them and cooked at them for many
years. I think he knows his food. He used to have a restaurant here in
my town. I ate there once. Never made it back. It has since closed.

I believe he currently has two restaurants, plus a trailer.

Mitchh Keye

unread,
Apr 1, 2007, 2:59:25 PM4/1/07
to
In article
<20070328084351.RZEX1587...@mail.bellsouth.net>,
microso...@bellsouth.net wrote:
>
>
>qtm...@ipp.avantel.net wrote:
>
>>First it was Guy's Big Bite, now it's Guy's Big Ego:
>>http://superchefblog.com/2006/06/guy-fieri-wants-to-be-super-chef.html#links
>>
>>It's everything I thought that he would say. I personally think that
>>Generation X is either unaware of Guy, or at least quietly snickering
>>among themselves.
>
>"He sees himself as edgier and racier than Emeril or Bobby, appealing to
Generation X."

So far, the only thing "racier" I've noticed about Guy is that stupid racecar
refrigerator.

>How about Guy v. Bobby on ICA--with Steingarten, Ted and Karine judging his
>SLop and Alton adding snark? I would so love to see his deluded self slapped
>down. Never happen, not on the new FN, but one can dream....

Ooooo, I'd love to see that, especially if Dirty P was his Sous Chef. Sadly,
on FN that is probably already in the works. My dream battle would involve Guy
vs SLop, with the judges provided special buckets just in case.....

>ETA: And is his trademark gimmick, that armband, really called "a reggae"?
>That just sounds so stupid. Because, Guy? I know I'm hopelessly unhip, but
>even I can recognize an insufferable poser.

I was also confused about the reference to the arm-band. I did a quick check
of the Urban Dictionary for "reggae". The only other definition, aside from
music, was "reg-gay" (self-explanatory.) and

Someone who is either crazy, high (or stoned), drunk or acting strange.

(i.) "Man, that guy is reggae.", "Let's get reggae, yo!"
(ii.) "We are so going reggae! Oh Yeah!"
(iii.)"Have you heard the new reggae single of...?"

i. and ii. would be ideal new catch phrases for Guy and and gang! "Man, Guy is
reggae."


Mark Hall

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Mar 29, 2007, 1:04:29 PM3/29/07
to
qtm...@ipp.avantel.net wrote:
>nancy-...@uiowa.edu wrote:

I saw his "Diners & Dives" commercial last night and flipped off the tv
(while I muttered a big "Fuck you, Guy!"). Granted, I've been in a bit of a
bad mood lately, but it did manage get a laugh out of my husband who said, "I
can't believe you just flipped off the tv..."


donGoliano

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Apr 2, 2007, 10:30:35 PM4/2/07
to

"Mitchh Keye" <phu...@multibar.com> wrote in message
news:091101c77408$3cae31f0$9711d3d0@yinconsistentq...
If the armband is striped red, gold, and green, that would be reggae.


barnabybarna

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Apr 16, 2007, 5:10:33 PM4/16/07
to

I cannot comprehend HOW or WHY this...person...actually has a show on FN (or...wait...never
mind). I did see the episode that was repeated today, with the mexican fish tacos, but I must
have not been paying close enough attention to it the first time that I watched, since it
absolutely grated on my very last nerve today in SO MANY ways.

First, the "now, what's [insert product here]?" "Well, it's [insert definition of product here]."
In the first five minutes of today's show, he must have done this a half dozen times. It just
drives me out of my freaking mind. There are so many things about this program that are so
inherently unpleasant, not the least of which is Tater Boy himself. I realize that a chef's
"appearance" certainly doesn't relate to his/her ability in the kitchen (Mario comes to mind
here), but I am so actively turned off by this person. The green hair, the "bling" - all the
rest. He looks exactly the way he talks - the inane, so past-tense "on like Donkey Kong" (is that
even past tense? Did anyone EVER say that?), and he looks and talks exactly the way you would
think his food tasted. I just don't understand the appeal here - to ANYone, for ANY reason. The
addition of his homies this season immediately raised my radar - I suspect that after the first
"season," the powers that be at FN might have realized that this show was NOT going to work, but
it's obvious from the way that they continue to pimp him that they must have something
significant invested in this person, at least in terms of how it translates to them, and they
needed to find a way to make him more palatable - hence, the new set, the addition of his home
boys (which to be adds nothing and only makes the whole idea of Guy and his overgrown-adolescent
schitck that much more tired), and all the rest.

His food is completely unappetizing. As others here have said, it is TGIFridays-fare (and I do
eat at Fridays on rare occasion - but I typically order a salad with salmon; something simple and
not at all trendy). Guy is a gimmick, from the green spiked hair right down to his feet, from the
chain restaurant foods right down to the obnoxious triple-straw drinks-in-a-barrel, and when I
caught my first glimpses of him on TNFNS, the "gimmick" factor appeared to be in full force even
then. I find very little about him that is genuine; he tries to be trendy, and he fails -
miserably. And yet, like Semi-Ho, I find it difficult to look away from this train wreck. Given
that the final choice was between him and Reggie, I suspect that most of the people who voted
felt that they were choosing the lesser of two evils, but I wonder (and I can only hope) that Guy
helps FN to realize that the whole concept of TNFNS just doesn't work and is a failure.

When I think of how much I enjoy Dan and Steve, what a pleasant, informative program they've
produced, when I think of the recipes of theirs that I'm still looking forward to trying (and
even those that I don't plan on trying still look VERY good - these guys are the real deal) and
when I think of how calming and *real* and without *gimmick* they are, yet they've been tucked
away into an early-morning once-a-week place on the schedule, with NO promotion whatsoever, I
realize all that is wrong with FN now.

I really, really do NOT get this show.

pe...@home.com

unread,
Apr 17, 2007, 8:42:07 AM4/17/07
to
On Mon, 16 Apr 2007 17:10:33 -0400, "barnabybarna"
<barnab...@yahoo.com> wrote:

>I cannot comprehend HOW or WHY this...person...actually has a show on FN (or...wait...never
>mind). I did see the episode that was repeated today, with the mexican fish tacos, but I must
>have not been paying close enough attention to it the first time that I watched, since it
>absolutely grated on my very last nerve today in SO MANY ways.
>
>First, the "now, what's [insert product here]?" "Well, it's [insert definition of product here]."
>In the first five minutes of today's show, he must have done this a half dozen times. It just
>drives me out of my freaking mind. There are so many things about this program that are so
>inherently unpleasant, not the least of which is Tater Boy himself. I realize that a chef's
>"appearance" certainly doesn't relate to his/her ability in the kitchen (Mario comes to mind
>here), but I am so actively turned off by this person. The green hair, the "bling" - all the
>rest. He looks exactly the way he talks - the inane, so past-tense "on like Donkey Kong" (is that
>even past tense? Did anyone EVER say that?), and he looks and talks exactly the way you would
>think his food tasted. I just don't understand the appeal here - to ANYone, for ANY reason. The
>addition of his homies this season immediately raised my radar - I suspect that after the first
>"season," the powers that be at FN might have realized that this show was NOT going to work, but
>it's obvious from the way that they continue to pimp him that they must have something
>significant invested in this person, at least in terms of how it translates to them, and they
>needed to find a way to make him more palatable - hence, the new set, the addition of his home
>boys (which to be adds nothing and only makes the whole idea of Guy and his overgrown-adolescent
>schitck that much more tired), and all the rest.
>

The expression "these bad boys" bugs me to no end. A direct steal
from Reggie, another of the Next Food Network Star rejects. Even
Paula Dean and Bobby Flay are using it now. YUK-O.

But get ready, TNFNS is coming back for another season.

Jude Cormier

unread,
Apr 17, 2007, 12:11:12 PM4/17/07
to

<pe...@home.com> wrote in message
news:34g9231tek23ksk98...@4ax.com...
Too bad Hans from the first season never got his own show. Too bad PBS
wasn't smart enough to give him one either.


Ubiquitous

unread,
Apr 17, 2007, 12:56:32 PM4/17/07
to

Does one consider Chili's a real restaurant?

Anim8rFSK

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Apr 17, 2007, 1:12:28 PM4/17/07
to
In article <ap-dncJnPq8YYbnb...@giganews.com>,
Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

Wait. The OP is saying there's somebody that Bobby Flay is better than??

Message has been deleted

Jude Cormier

unread,
May 1, 2007, 5:54:20 PM5/1/07
to

"David" <diml...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:670636....@web50301.mail.re2.yahoo.com...
> On Tue, 17 Apr 2007 17:21:00 -0400, "Jude Cormier" <jh...@hotmail.com>
> wrote:

>
>>
>><pe...@home.com> wrote:
>>
>>> But get ready, TNFNS is coming back for another season.
>>>
>>Too bad Hans from the first season never got his own show. Too bad PBS
>>wasn't smart enough to give him one either.
>
> He was diagnosed with stomach cancer shortly after that ended, as it
> happens - a shame, really, and I feel his pain, having gone through a
> round with cancer myself that left me, like him, unable to fully enjoy
> one of the things in life I'm truly passionate about: food.
>

Really? I did not know that--on both counts about Hans or you David.
I have to watch my own food intake, not because of cancer (yet), but due to
diabetes.


Anim8rFSK

unread,
May 2, 2007, 12:22:53 AM5/2/07
to
In article <4637b710$0$97216$892e...@authen.yellow.readfreenews.net>,
"Jude Cormier" <jh...@hotmail.com> wrote:

Ugh. I have a family history of it, so my doctor is making me watch my
simple sugars. A sandwich without bread is just a hunk of meat.

Jude Cormier

unread,
May 2, 2007, 12:50:15 AM5/2/07
to
I commented on David's reply:

Really? I did not know that--on both counts about Hans or you David.
>> I have to watch my own food intake, not because of cancer (yet), but due
>> to
>> diabetes.

Fred responded:

> Ugh. I have a family history of it, so my doctor is making me watch my
> simple sugars. A sandwich without bread is just a hunk of meat.

Sucks, doesn't it? I have to avoid anything with a lot of starch or my
blood sugar goes ballistic.

To make this slightly more ontopic, have there been any cooking shows with
themes of diabetic cooking?


Katherine

unread,
Jun 4, 2007, 11:13:43 AM6/4/07
to
In article
<14761863.117518786...@backend002.svale.netledger.com>,

All right, Guy is a complete and utter tool, so I've avoided his show until today, when I was too
lazy to look for the remote. I did watch DD&D a week or so ago, but I ignored him, and just gazed
longingly at the food, because I have a major weakness for diner food. (Fortunately, I also have
a great diner just down the road.)

So, this was my first exposure to the posse. They didn't bother me, but I can see how eventually
they'd be annoying. I don't drink, but I did notice that his cocktail, as opposed to the one I
saw a certain drunk blonde make earlier, had more juice than alcohol, so that was nice.

But, stuffed burgers will be happening at my house at some point this week. It would have
happened this afternoon, but we don't have any ground beef, for possibly the first time in my
life. I'm in the middle of a sleeping pill hangover, so there will be no driving and shopping
today.

Eveline

unread,
Jun 8, 2007, 9:14:12 AM6/8/07
to

I never noticed until this morning that Guy's homies wear the same
stupid armbands and retro 50's bowling shirts as Guy. They even had
the same goatees. WTF is up with that?

boncoss

unread,
Jun 11, 2007, 6:32:13 PM6/11/07
to
On Jun 8, 6:14 am, Eveline <y...@nyc.rr.com> wrote:
> Mich...@whileplate.info wrote:
> ><14761863.1175187869076.JavaMail.r...@backend002.svale.netledger.com>,
> >no-re...@webhostautomation.com wrote:
> >>qtm7...@ipp.avantel.net wrote:

> >>>nancy-doo...@uiowa.edu wrote:
>
> >>>>> Stay tuned to see just how big Guy Fieri can get.
>
> >>>>> [Uh, no thanks. That would only encourage this desperate poser]
>
> >>>>Shouldn't that be "poseur?" LOL.
>
>>
> >>>First it was Guy's Big Bite, now it's Guy's Big Ego:
>
> >>I saw his "Diners & Dives" commercial last night and flipped off the
> >>tv (while I muttered a big "Fuck you, Guy!"). Granted, I've been in a
> >>bit of a bad mood lately, but it did manage get a laugh out of my
> >>husband who said, "I can't believe you just flipped off the tv..."
>
I want to join in on the Guy bashing. I can't stand him. Does he have
pictures of the head of the FN with a donkey?
How does he have two shows?

Ubiquitous

unread,
Jun 17, 2007, 10:58:55 PM6/17/07
to
bon...@hotmail.com says...

>I want to join in on the Guy bashing. I can't stand him. Does he have
>pictures of the head of the FN with a donkey?
>How does he have two shows?

I think you answered your own question.


Nancy2

unread,
Jun 18, 2007, 11:58:12 AM6/18/07
to
On Jun 17, 9:58 pm, Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
> bonc...@hotmail.com says...


I like him. He's very entertaining on "DDD." I don't like his own
show so much, but he makes a perfect host for Diners, Drive-Ins and
Dives.

N.

Kyle

unread,
Jun 18, 2007, 1:32:47 PM6/18/07
to
> the same goatees. WTF is up with that?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

What is the armband supposed to signify? I assumed in Guy's case it
was to cover up an X-rated tattoo.

Nancy2

unread,
Jun 18, 2007, 4:58:07 PM6/18/07
to
> was to cover up an X-rated tattoo.- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

I think I read once that he "just wears it." I don't believe it
covers up anything. Maybe it's some west coast/Italian fashion
statement. LOL.

N.

Kyle

unread,
Jun 18, 2007, 10:54:03 PM6/18/07
to

I give Fieri credit for getting right into the cooking and interacting
with customers on DDD. He gets right into it, even making up dishes
-- well, or food -- right on the spot. Most of the FN "stars"
wouldn't dream of attempting such a thing.


Ubiquitous

unread,
Jun 24, 2007, 9:49:49 PM6/24/07
to
nancy-...@uiowa.edu wrote:
>On Jun 18, 12:32 pm, Kyle <kyle...@yahoo.com> wrote:

>> On Jun 8, 8:14 am, Eveline <yy...@nyc.rr.com> wrote:


>>> I never noticed until this morning that Guy's homies wear the same
>>> stupid armbands and retro 50's bowling shirts as Guy. They even had
>>> the same goatees. WTF is up with that?- Hide quoted text -
>>

>> What is the armband supposed to signify? I assumed in Guy's case it
>> was to cover up an X-rated tattoo.- Hide quoted text -
>

>I think I read once that he "just wears it." I don't believe it
>covers up anything. Maybe it's some west coast/Italian fashion
>statement. LOL.

Actually, the jerk wears it in "honor" of his little boy. *rolls eyes*
Basically his kid gave it to him as a good luck charm during TNFNS
and he's wore it ever since. I read somewhere he gave one of his
sous-chefs a used one as a souvenir. Gee, thanks.

http://jordanbaker.blogspot.com/2007/05/would-you-buy-tuna-carpaccio-fro
m-this.html

So this Sunday a new season of The Next Food Network Star begins, and
boy am I excited . .

. . .for the Top Chef All Stars special (Go Season One!) that airs three
nights later! And the new season of Top Chef: Miami which begins June
13, only on Bravo (watch what happens)!

I know—you were expecting the two halves of that opening sentence to be
related. Sorry. To make it up to you, here are my thoughts on last
year’s winner, Guy Fieri.

I managed to stay Fieri-free until Easter. He was the obvious choice of
the TNFNS 2 contestants (you really thought they were going to give
Reggie a show? Honestly?), but I knew his show wasn’t going to be my
thing, and so I stayed away.

Easter morning I turned on the TV for background noise while I got ready
to go to mass. I was ready early, so I had a chance to sit down and
watch Guy’s show—the Jerk Chicken episode. What I saw made me reach for
a notebook and scrawl the following sentence: Guy Fieri is a douchebag.

But I wanted to give him a fair shake, and not go flying off the handle
and judging him based on a single episode. So I started getting up on
Sundays to watch Guy. I’ve watched 8 episodes, taken four pages of
notes, and have not deviated from my original assessment.

In the interest of fairness, I thought I’d open with some good things
about Guy:

1. He actually gives coherent and logical explanations for the things he
does—why you want a particular cut of meat, why he’s pressing garlic
instead of chopping it, and so on.
2. Similarly, he does clear demonstrations—I now understand how to
locate the grain on a flank steak in order to cut against it.
3. Unlike “Chef Lee,” he uses largely fresh ingredients. A lot of fruits
and vegetables go into his dishes. He makes all of his own marinades
(nary a season packet or salad dressing bottle in sight), and he
actually mashed his own potatoes instead of reconstituting the boxed
crap.
4. Some of his food looks pretty good. I mean, it’s absolutely bog
standard chain restaurant fare, but I kind of want to try his black bean
salad and Tater-Tot Halibut*

On the flip side, there are things that I don’t like about Guy. Leaving
off his mispronunciation of his own name, (which I’ve already gone off
on once this week) here are a few:

HIS FOOD. Despite the fresh ingredients, there’s a horrible similarity
to all of his recipes. Most things seem to involve honey, olive oil, and
sherry vinegar: the black bean salad, the panzanella, the pork fried
rice. Again, this speaks to the ordinariness of his culinary style. You
can go to any mid-range chain restaurant and order a fish dish, a pasta
dish, and a burger, and it all tastes the same: like salt and
desperation**. I’m guessing that Guy’s food has a similar tang.

Plus, some of his choices are just dumbfounding. In the episode where he
made pepperoni lasagna, he explained why he feeds it to his son:

Kids love pizza, but you can’t feed ‘em on that. At least when we get
into the lasagna, we get the cheese, and we get the sausage, we get a
lot of tomatoes in there.

Yes. Because that’s a radical departure from what you get with pizza,
which never has tomatoes, cheese, or sausage involved. Clearly pepperoni
lasagna is a much healthier option.

HIS DRINKS. As you all know, I’m the last person on earth to crap on
anyone’s right to have a belt or two. I have even tried and liked one of
Sandra’s cocktails. Guy’s drinks, however, are just vile—they’re
basically all variations*** on Suicide Punch/Jungle Juice/whatever the
frats at your school called it: all the clear boozes and Kool-Aid. For
example, the Grape Ape Bowla (which when Guy pronounces it
sounds—fittingly--like Grape Ebola****): grape juice, Sprite, triple
sec, gin, rum, and vodka. Served in a communal punch bowl with giant
straws, and a huge bunch of grapes (still on the stem) dropped in as
“garnish.”

And then he and his “homies” end the episode by drinking it together.
Man-readers, help me out here: Do dudes do this? Is this cool, or even
acceptable? And answer this not as you would have at 18, but as you
would if you were a 38 year old father of two.

Does it help if I mention that they also do a “toast of straws,”
clinking their giant novelty straws together in a way that struck me as
freakishly homoerotic? No?

HIS FRIENDS. At this point, pretty much everyone on FN has done a
variation of the “friends/family show up and help with the preparation”
schtick. There are times that works really well—some of my favorite
Giada eps are the ones where her mother shows up, and you all know I
love Paula’s boys and Ina’s. . .boys. Other times, it’s just weird (cf:
Miss Stephanie; Brycer; Rachael's poor embarrassed mum).

Guy’s friends--like Guy--are gross. First of all, the most frequent
visitors are named Kleetus and Dirty P. I don’t want anyone named Dirty
P near my food*****. I’ve since been introduced to Mustard, the
Spaniard, Milt and Dustin, who is also called “Sunshine" (Dustin is
apparently the bottom in the group).

These guys--and Guy--all wear bowling shirts like Vince Vaughn did in
Swingers. But they’re all fat loads. What was smoking hot on Vaughn and
pre-chub Favreau in 1996 is just sad on a bunch of fat, middle aged
douchebags in 2007.

Finally, they’re stupid and distracting. I would put money on Dirty P
being high during the “Jambalaya Sandwich” episode, while Kleetus kept
angling for more camera time. Plus, they had unrelated side
conversations with their mikes on while Guy was giving directions. Total
amateur hour—can you imagine T.R. or Miguel acting like that? No way.

HIS “BLING”. In all of his shows, Guy can be seen wearing at least a
watch, huge earrings, a pinkie ring on each hand and a chunky bracelet
on his right wrist (there are usually one or more chunky necklaces as
well). I’ve mentioned in the past that I’m not a fan of man jewelry, but
even if you are—isn’t this all a bit much? It’s also all “meaningful,”
according to his FN page. I’m all for things having sentimental value,
but with Guy, every single piece has a story like this:

This started out as a small ring that I bought in Mexico that they
carved with a little chisel. Every time I had enough money, I’d keep
adding to it. The ring is up to over a carat in diamonds and all done in
gold and stainless steel. Stainless steel is such a big deal in my life
due to all the restaurants. It has Hunter’s initials on it, so I’m going
to wear it until he’s 18 and then give it to him.

Does anyone else hope that little Hunter grows up to be gay, gay, gay,
and on his 18th birthday, flees in tasteful terror at the sight of his
present? No? Just me? Ok then.

The “Bling” also gets in the way of Guy’s work. He spends most of his
cooking and eating time on the show with both pinkies stuck out****** to
keep his rings out of the food. In some episodes he “deblings” because
he doesn’t want to get the rings gunked up (he does, however, let his
chunky bracelet drag through the food at will). What bugs me about this
is not that he does it (I take off my ring and watch before I cook) or
even that he refers to it as “deblinging” (ok, that does bug me); it’s
that he’s so dumb about it. He takes the rings off before breading so
they won’t get gunked up, but leaves them on while he’s handling raw
meat. Little Hunter is basically getting a gaudy-ass bacteria trap when
he turns 18. Gee, thanks dad.

HIS VOCABULARY. Guy’s FN page has a list of “Guyisms,” including “On
like Donkey Kong” which apparently means “ready to get it going, grab
the hammer, jump over barrels, save the girl. It's go time,” and “Real
Deal Holyfield,” which “means when it's on like Donkey Kong.” Of. .
.course.

He also says “Money” a great deal, which according to him means
“something is the real deal,” and—like his shirts—is totally leftover
from Swingers. In the 7 episodes for which I kept a word count, Guy said
“Money” twelve times. The last time I heard someone say “money” so often
was during my college production of Harvey, when one of my co-stars used
“you’re so money baby, and you don’t even know it,” as a personal
mantra.

That was 1999. And the co-star in question was 19. And a girl. And she
was being sarcastic.

HE’S A MORON. That’s as clearly as I can say it. Maybe if I put it in
Guy’s own words, you’ll understand
1. In his “Tater-tot Halibut” episode, he claimed to be cooking the tots
“in a way that would make your lunch lady proud.” Interestingly, that’s
not something I ever aspired to.
2. In the “Fish Taco” episode, he jokingly tells Mustard that he wasn’t
supposed to bring The Spaniard around when he (Guy) was making Mexican
food. Why not? Is The Spaniard Mexican? Then why not call him The
Mexican? Shouldn’t someone from California know that Mexican and Spanish
are not the same?
3. Really, just click on any of the “Guy 101” pop ups and read his
incoherent ramblings. Sample: My friends and I all have a lot of belt
buckles and belts. This one is the king of spades. Now we all have Jack
Daniel’s belt buckles too. All we do is tuck in the front. I only wear
shorts. I sit on the board of directors for a big company, so every year
I have to wear a suit. I have one pair of Billabong pinstripe dress
pants that are money.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah???

I understand that Food Network wants to have a show that proves that
“cool guys” like cooking. I just don’t understand what
trapped-in-the-‘90’s-Barstow-trailer-park test audience they dug up to
support the theory that this mess is a cool guy.

In short, Guy Fieri is a douchebag, and odds are that the next Next Food
Network Star will just be more of the same. Don’t waste your time on it;
stick with Top Chef instead. Did you know Ted Allen is going to be a
judge all the time this year? SWEET!

*At different meals, not together. Together. . .ew. And I would probably
eat the black bean salad as my main instead of as a side to “Koi Fish
Tacos” and his ungodly sangria.
**Because it’s all seasoned with MSG. . .and the benzoyl-peroxide laced
tears of the teenaged wait staff.
***The sole exception to this seemed to be the “Apple Mojito,” which
somehow involved mint leaves, apple juice, and vodka. NOT a mojito,
folks. Stop the insanity.
****Props to TWoP
*****At one point, I would’ve said the same about anyone named Kleetus.
Having eaten at restaurants in both SoMD and various remote bits of VA,
I figure I’ve probably passed that hurdle. Except they probably spelled
it correctly.
******I almost said “like a whore at a tea party,” both because that’s
how far he sticks his pinkies out and because the extended pinkie thing
is a pet peeve of mine—so not done, people. But something about the
syntax didn’t work.

Wally

unread,
Aug 1, 2007, 11:08:50 PM8/1/07
to
kyle...@yahoo.com wrote:
>On Jun 18, 10:58 am, Nancy2 <nancy-doo...@uiowa.edu> wrote:

>> I like him. He's very entertaining on "DDD." I don't like his own
>> show so much, but he makes a perfect host for Diners, Drive-Ins and
>> Dives.
>

>I give Fieri credit for getting right into the cooking and interacting
>with customers on DDD. He gets right into it, even making up dishes
>-- well, or food -- right on the spot. Most of the FN "stars"
>wouldn't dream of attempting such a thing.

I actually like the concept of the show. Which is basically a re-tooling of
the "Best of.." show with a more specific focus. I do hat the tool they gave
it to. Fietti as he pronounces it, is a poor man's Ty Pennington. And since FN
doesn't spring for the megaphone, Fietti falls back on his own lung power,
sadly. His narration is often disjointed and makes little to no sense at
times. His interference in the kitchen is really unprofessional -- attire,
finger placement and physical comedy that really shouldn't be part of an
atmosphere involving workers, hot machinery and sharp objects. Though maybe
that was just the three or four episodes I have seen of the show and the rest
are pristine examples of pop culture media.

In an ideal world, the crew would shoot the footage with a producer and then
edited with a FN "star" voiceover. Cooking or Food? It doesn't really matter.
I think FN's problem is that it is neither. Though a shining example of what
FN has become, I don't think TNFNS is the sole indicator that FN is about the
Personality. Whether it is flip-flopped Fietti prancing around a kitchen like
a walking adveristement for Head-On or Paula' Dean on her party show acting
like any minute she is going to lift her top for someone to toss her some
beads, no matter it isn't a Mardi Gras theme'd show, we are stuck with
personality. Food comes a distant second and cooking barely medals.

Dan Abel

unread,
Aug 2, 2007, 6:33:58 PM8/2/07
to
In article <2007.08.01.20.08.5...@gayvideostore.com>,
"Wally" wa...@gayvideostore.com wrote:

> it to. Fietti as he pronounces it, is a poor man's Ty Pennington. And since


I've heard him pronounce it as "Ferry". Just coincidentally, his
parents are both named "Ferry".

Nancy2

unread,
Aug 3, 2007, 11:09:51 AM8/3/07
to
On Aug 1, 10:08 pm, "Wally" wa...@gayvideostore.com wrote:

> kylej...@yahoo.com wrote:
> >On Jun 18, 10:58 am, Nancy2 <nancy-doo...@uiowa.edu> wrote:
> >> I like him. He's very entertaining on "DDD." I don't like his own
> >> show so much, but he makes a perfect host for Diners, Drive-Ins and
> >> Dives.
>
> >I give Fieri credit for getting right into the cooking and interacting
> >with customers on DDD. He gets right into it, even making up dishes
> >-- well, or food -- right on the spot. Most of the FN "stars"
> >wouldn't dream of attempting such a thing.
>
> I actually like the concept of the show. Which is basically a re-tooling of
> the "Best of.." show with a more specific focus. I do hat the tool they gave
> it to. Fietti as he pronounces it,


He doesn't say "Fietti," he says "Fieri," rolling the "r" as if he
were speaking Italian and rolling all his "rs."

N.

Nancy2

unread,
Aug 3, 2007, 11:10:08 AM8/3/07
to
On Aug 2, 5:33 pm, Dan Abel <da...@sonic.net> wrote:
> In article <2007.08.01.20.08.50.6331054F3CDF4...@gayvideostore.com>,

>
> "Wally" wa...@gayvideostore.com wrote:
> > it to. Fietti as he pronounces it, is a poor man's Ty Pennington. And since
>
> I've heard him pronounce it as "Ferry". Just coincidentally, his
> parents are both named "Ferry".

He's not saying "Fietti," to that poster - he's saying "Fieri," trying
to roll the "r" like he might if he were speaking Italian.

N.

Kaitlyn Gonzales

unread,
Sep 12, 2007, 7:35:07 PM9/12/07
to

DDD was filming at my favorite local diner this morning! The diner is called
"The Fly Trap" and is located in Ferndale, Michigan. (Just outside Detroit.)
It's called "The Fly Trap" because of the questionable hygiene practices of
the previous food place to occupy the space. So, I thought I'd give a little
of the behind-the-scenes stuff I saw while I was there.

This morning I went to my favorite local diner for my weekly ritual and on the
front door was a sign stating that, by entering, you agreed to have your image
used in a future episode of DDD. When I walked in they had a camera man,
producer, and sound guy behind the counter filming people eating. Because this
place is so tiny this meant the waitresses had to serve patrons by walking out
from behind the counter. And they were so busy that the cook was actually
coming out of the kitchen to deliver food to the tables.

I ended up taking a seat at the counter. When I sat down they were filming the
couple to my left. They'd ask them to state their names (and spell them) and
then tell the producer what they were eating. The camera man would then tell
them to go ahead and eat a few bites of their food. After the first few bites
he started directing them. "Take a little of the egg, then some potato and
then go ahead and eat it." The camera would focus on the food, and then follow
it to the diner's mouth as they ate. The couple on my right (who apparently
had also been asked to "model" the food) literally sat with their food in
front of them for 10 minutes waiting to be filmed.

When they finally got to the couple on my right they realized that the light
from the front window would back-light the woman. She then offered to trade
places with me. (She was on one side of her boyfriend and I was on the other.)
Sure, I'll trade. This landed me in the counter seat next to the wall, and
directly under the light pole they'd erected. (And, unfortunately, out of
sight of the waitress, meaning she forgot I was there.) They then begin the
filming routine with this couple. She was wearing an orange shirt and a
baseball cap and was eating one of the specials "Giada's Gems": Risotto
stuffed with mozzarella and then deep fried; mixed greens, eggs, and a tomato
fennel "sauce". (Every other time I've eaten there it was called a tomato
"ragout", but...do what you gotta do for the tv show, right?) It was
hilarious, as they asked them questions, allowed them to take a few
"spontaeous" bites of food before moving onto the "directed" eating. "I want
you to take those two potatoes right there, dip them in the sauce, and then go
to town." It was interesting to watch, actually. I guess I realized that
people would be set up to take bites of their food for the camera...I just
never imagined that they would go so far as to point out which pieces of
potato to put in their mouths. <heh>

When the cameras moved out from behind the counter they went to one of the
tables, where they repeated the process all over again. Finally they moved
into the kitchen, and began filming the chef (and part-owner) preparing food.
I couldn't see a whole lot through the door, only that it looked really,
really crowded back there. I ate my meal and left. And no, I never caught
sight of Guy Fieri. I'm assuming that they either filmed his segments before I
arrived (10:30 am) or after I left. I'll try to keep an eye out for when the
segment airs. And if you happen to catch sight of a woman wearing a bright
yellow shirt - that's me! :) Though, I made sure to keep a low profile - I'm
not what you'd call "camera friendly".

Ubiquitous

unread,
Oct 14, 2007, 7:28:57 PM10/14/07
to

I only saw one ep of DDD. He was more tolerable than he is on his
cooking show, but not by much.

Michelle Graham

unread,
Oct 16, 2007, 12:01:25 AM10/16/07
to
I ate at one of Guy's restaurants this weekend - Tex Wasabi's. It's sushi and BBQ. We stuck to
sushi that night and I hate to disappoint the Guy Haters but the sushi was really really good.
Really good. I also ordered his version of spring rolls (which I think was called Killer Egg
Roll) because the menu said it was the best egg roll you'll ever eat and I Do Not Like Egg Roll
At All and assumed I would find Guy's weak link. Mr Chloe doesn't like egg roll either and didn't
want to order it so it was forced on him by me. Utterly amazing, so good, I want to eat a whole
meal of Killer Egg Roll. If you didn't know it was deep fried you'd think it was baked, it was so
delicate and fresh, just wonderful. We will definitely go back to try the BBQ.

We talked to the manager who said he's opened all of Guy's restaurants and has known him for
years. I asked about the shows and he said that Guy LOVES the diner shows, not as excited about
Big Bites. Mgr said Guy is exactly as he appears on the show and owns only two pairs of long
pants.

I'm not really on one side or other about Guy - I voted for him on NFNS because I think he's
really talented but his personality isn't exactly my style. But the food at his resaurant was so
very good he gets extra credit whenever I find him annoying.

In article
<a10e01c7f57a$01c76255$5139...@windows-18720cc.tampabay.rr.com>,

>people would be set up to take bites of their food for the camera... just

tbs48

unread,
Oct 16, 2007, 9:08:48 AM10/16/07
to
He seemed to go to some decent bbq joints when the show was from
Central Texas.. and the root beer stand at Purdue is a fine place,
too.

T.

tens...@yahoo.com

unread,
Nov 17, 2007, 4:53:43 PM11/17/07
to

Are you guys all serious???? I can see reasons why you would be turned
off by the way someone dresses or acts or talks (if someone different
than you obviously scares you) but I find it HILARIOUS that all of you
are bagging on him YET in the very same posts you talk of "In the
second show where he cooks fish taco's he says "xxxxx" 14 times....
And his Posse is trying to get a better angle to be in the camera"....
What do I find funny in this???? Uhhh the fact that even though he
bothers you, you morons TiVO the damn episode and seemingly watch it
12 times to count how many times someone says something.... Maybe
that's why he bothers you, cuz your TV is tuned to his show on an
endless repeat.... Find some hobbies other than Food network shows and
you might not get as irritated..... And several of you in your posts
have this brainy quip "I would IMAGINE his food tastes just like he
talks, or I "THINK" his food would be like a TGI Fridays ALTHOUGH I
HAVE NEVER TASTED IT.... How do you sit there and judge the merits of
how he dresses if you never have tasted his food???? He's a cook...
Judge him on what his food tastes like and then run your mouths about
how he talks.... Or about how HE chooses to pronounce his name... It's
his freaking name let him pronounce it however he wants.... If he
wants to be Guy SMITH spelled Fieri that's his god given right....I
can't believe some people on the net have this much free time to tune
into TNFNS and watch TiVo's reruns of guys' shows counting words and
then you get on the internet and go back and forth about how much you
hate him... do you guys and gals understand how a remote control for a
TV works???? You push the buttons and it goes to other channels...
great technology we have today ain't it.. If he bothers you stop
watching.... but you all seem like typical finger pointing rubber-
neckers that can't look away. The same people that create traffic jams
cuz they stop on the highway to see some guy changing his tire in the
breakdown lane..... You really need to all find hobbies that don't
involve Guy. Take your kids to the park... Read a book not about Guy,
go ATTEMPT to cook food in your own kitchen.... Go wash your car....
Just try your hardest not to tune into Food Network and watch Guys'
show... You are contributing to your own sickness....

If you have ever met Guy, you would really understand that he is not
a poser and this is not an act.... this is how he acts 24 hours a day
365 days a year.... His food is unbelieveable and comparing it to TGI
Fridays food is obviously for the people that have never tried it (And
believe me you guys following his instructions in your own kitchens
WILL NEVER make it as good as Guy does so Deal with it)..... You might
ask me how do I know all this stuff???? Guy is married to my
sister.... I've hung out with him and ate his food that he has cooked
at his house.... And this is how he acts.... A poser is someone who
acts different to impress people.....It's sometimes so much of a real
deal that it's even too much for me... Guy can be an "interesting"
person to interact with bordering on "Can he really be like this all
the time???" Behind closed doors the same guy you see on TV is the
same you'll meet in his restaurants.... the same guy who comes to your
table and asks you how your food is.... All of you just want another
Robot cooking food with a combover and a button down khaki shirt....
Go cry to someone who cares.... Guys' show will go on with or without
you.... If you don't like a certain type of music don't go out and buy
the CD's and listen to them 100 times..... If you don't like Guy watch
something else and stop TiVO'ing his shows......

bat_flip

unread,
Nov 17, 2007, 11:32:57 PM11/17/07
to
On Nov 17, 4:53 pm, tensec...@yahoo.com wrote:
> On Oct 16, 2:08 pm, tbs48 <tbsam...@att.net> wrote:
>
> > He seemed to go to some decent bbq joints when the show was from
> > Central Texas.. and the root beer stand at Purdue is a fine place,
> > too.
>
> > T.
>
> Are you guys all serious???? I can see reasons why you would be turned
> off by the way someone dresses or acts or talks (if someone different
> than you obviously scares you) but I find it HILARIOUS that all of you
> are bagging on him YET in the very same posts you talk of "In the
> second show where he cooks fish taco's he says "xxxxx" 14 times....

*snivel-ectomy*

Yawn. Ahhhh...the holidays and unmonitored key boards are upon us.

Bat

Don

unread,
Nov 18, 2007, 12:50:28 AM11/18/07
to

Wow! Very clever comeback!! I thought that tensec's comments were right
on the mark.

Don

Dan Abel

unread,
Nov 18, 2007, 1:32:29 PM11/18/07
to
In article
<9c3ae3cd-d1e6-4bac...@b36g2000hsa.googlegroups.com>,
tens...@yahoo.com wrote:


> Are you guys all serious????

It's newsgroups. It's not very serious.

> HAVE NEVER TASTED IT.... How do you sit there and judge the merits of
> how he dresses if you never have tasted his food?

I've tasted his food. It was good. How he presents his food on tv
isn't so great.


> how he talks.... Or about how HE chooses to pronounce his name... It's
> his freaking name let him pronounce it however he wants.... If he
> wants to be Guy SMITH spelled Fieri that's his god given right....I

I never heard God say that. Many actors on tv change their names. If
they don't remember how to pronounce it, I don't think it's weird to
call them on it. There are really good reasons to change your name. If
he doesn't want to have a last name of "Ferry", I can understand that
(his parents are both named Ferry). I just think it's reasonable to
mention that he doesn't remember how to pronounce his name.


> If you have ever met Guy, you would really understand that he is not
> a poser and this is not an act

Everybody on FoodTV is a poser and an actor. Many chefs are. If he is
this way full time, I'm just not surprised.


> ask me how do I know all this stuff???? Guy is married to my
> sister.... I've hung out with him and ate his food that he has cooked


Congrats. He is a very interesting guy. He seems to be very
successful. I wish him well. I like his food.

jerry_...@yahoo.com

unread,
Dec 22, 2007, 12:14:18 AM12/22/07
to
On Nov 18, 10:32 am, Dan Abel <da...@sonic.net> wrote:
> In article
> <9c3ae3cd-d1e6-4bac-b327-3b7b1d7dc...@b36g2000hsa.googlegroups.com>,

Guy opened up a branch of his Santa Rosa CA restaurant, Tex Wasabi's,
here in Sacramento, not far from my house. I have avoided it as long
as I could, just based on my dislike of Guy's personality and his FN
show (DDD is actually pretty good, his namesake FN show on the other
hand SUCKS). I also read the menu for Tex Wasabi's on the
restaurant's website. Nothing on it seemed particularly unusual or
exciting, but I went anyway, just so no one would accuse me of
criticizing him without tasting his food. It was a MAJOR
disappointment. It is supposedly a restaurant that specializes in
both BBQ and sushi, things that probably should not ever be served
together. I actually ordered the one and only item on the menu that
combined both. It consisted of 1/4 BBQ chicken and 1/4 rack of ribs
with 2 sides, plus one special sushi roll (the menu lists only two
options for the sushi roll, but my server told me he could substitute
any sushi roll and he would just add on however much extra your
favorite roll might cost). I asked him for a recommendation for the
roll, and he told me to get the "Dirty Mag" roll, which was spicy
tuna, tempura shrimp, and crab salad inside, and tuna on top, with
unagi sauce on top. Since I like all those ingredients, I agreed to
order it. As my sides I ordered the BBQ beans, and coleslaw. The
chicken breast/wing quarter arrived with a tempting crust on it, but
the meat was dry as sand, and tough as leather (not the crust, but the
deepest breast meat!), and the ribs weren't much better. The coleslaw
was completely bland, with a very skimpy vinegar dressing (even the
slightest taste of vinegar would have made this side dish acceptable,
but it had none). I should have asked for a couple of spoonfuls of
mayonnaise and dressed it myself. The beans weren't bad, but
certainly nothing to brag about. The sushi roll was actually pretty
good, but nothing that several dozen sushi restaurants within easy
driving distance of my house could have done better. I actually had
my server take the BBQ back, which he did willingly, and brought out
another plate of the same. This time around, the chicken was exactly
the same, dry and tough. The ribs the second time around were
definitely better, but nothing to compare with at least half a dozen
BBQ joints in town that I go to regularly. I asked for extra BBQ
sauce, but it never arrived. Luckily the sushi roll was pretty
filling, so at least I didn't go home hungry. The server saw that I
left the second BBQ plate nearly untouched, and said he would ask the
manager to comp me for it on the bill, which he did. There is
absolutely no reason for me to ever go back to this place. The decor
was nothing special, the music was overly-loud rock and roll, and the
servers seemed concerned but a little overwhelmed. This place would
be good only for people who care more about getting drunk at dinner
than the taste of the food. If you really want good sushi or BBQ in
Sacramento, drop me a line and I'll send you a list. I guarantee you
that THIS restaurant won't be anywhere on that list.

Ubiquitous

unread,
Dec 24, 2007, 7:52:47 AM12/24/07
to
On Nov 17, 4:53 pm, tens...@yahoo.com wrote:

> If you have ever met Guy,  you would really understand that he is not a poser
> and this is not an act.... this is how he acts 24 hours a day 365 days a year

I pity anyone who has to deal with this douchbag in real life.

donGoliano

unread,
Dec 24, 2007, 2:04:30 PM12/24/07
to

>"Ubiquitous" <web...@polaris.net> wrote in message
>news:fd3a2070-eb78-454f...@21g2000hsj.googlegroups.com...

You can't be all that bad.


obero...@comcast.net

unread,
Jan 8, 2008, 1:38:37 AM1/8/08
to
On Dec 24 2007, 2:04 pm, "donGoliano" <d...@goliano.net> wrote:
> >"Ubiquitous" <web...@polaris.net> wrote in message
> >news:fd3a2070-eb78-454f...@21g2000hsj.googlegroups.com...
> >On Nov 17, 4:53 pm, tensec...@yahoo.com wrote:
>
> >> If you have ever met Guy, you would really understand that he is not a
> >> poser
> >> and this is not an act.... this is how he acts 24 hours a day 365 days a
> >> year
>
> > I pity anyone who has to deal with this douchbag in real life.
>
> You can't be all that bad.

He seems so friendly and likable.....some of his dishes are a tad over
the top, but some of them are also quite interesting. Props to Guy
for trying to make comfort food different and non-boring.

Ubiquitous

unread,
Nov 12, 2008, 5:46:23 AM11/12/08
to
The little troll's website has been revised:
http://www.guyfieri.com/

Gawd, what a douchebag!


And here's the Guy Fieri bobblehead doll:
http://www.guyfieri.com/images/shopping/bobble_head_large.jpg

I just lurve how his shirt has "The other white meat" and
"Don't be blah ™" on it. WTF?


--
It is simply breathtaking to watch the glee and abandon with which
the liberal media and the Angry Left have been attempting to turn
our military victory in Iraq into a second Vietnam quagmire. Too bad
for them, it's failing.

Mare

unread,
Nov 12, 2008, 7:03:33 PM11/12/08
to
On Nov 12, 5:46 am, Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:
> The little troll's website has been revised:http://www.guyfieri.com/
>
> Gawd, what a douchebag!
>
> And here's the Guy Fieri bobblehead doll:http://www.guyfieri.com/images/shopping/bobble_head_large.jpg
>
> I just lurve how his shirt has "The other white meat" and
> "Don't be blah ™" on it. WTF?

Never trust an Italian who can't pronounce "balsamic"

Mare - he ALWAYS calls it baSALmic... imbecile should divorce whatever
he's married to and marry Sandra Lee (MMMM! baSALmic VIN-uh-ga-RETTE!)

Ubiquitous

unread,
Nov 23, 2008, 8:56:32 AM11/23/08
to
m...@physics.umass.edu wrote:
>On Nov 12, 5:46 am, Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

>> The little troll's website has been revised:http://www.guyfieri.com/
>>
>> Gawd, what a douchebag!
>>
>> And here's the Guy Fieri bobblehead
>> doll:http://www.guyfieri.com/images/shopping/bobble_head_large.jpg
>>
>> I just lurve how his shirt has "The other white meat" and
>> "Don't be blah ™" on it. WTF?
>
>Never trust an Italian who can't pronounce "balsamic"

I swear, it amazes me how dated and fake he sounds even using vernacular
less than ten years old. Two seconds of him and its like watching old
clips from MTV back when Martha Quinn was a VJ. Damn, that man is such a
talking zit!

Ubiquitous

unread,
Dec 8, 2008, 9:28:02 PM12/8/08
to
m...@physics.umass.edu wrote:
>On Nov 12, 5:46 am, Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

>> The little troll's website has been revised:http://www.guyfieri.com/
>>
>> Gawd, what a douchebag!
>>
>> And here's the Guy Fieri bobblehead doll:
>> http://www.guyfieri.com/images/shopping/bobble_head_large.jpg
>>
>> I just lurve how his shirt has "The other white meat" and
>> "Don't be blah ™" on it. WTF?
>
>Never trust an Italian who can't pronounce "balsamic"

October 27
Guy Fieri REVEALED!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that I am a huge Guy Fieri fan. Well, one
fine reader of this website actually got to spend time with Mr. Frosted
Tips himself and sent back this information about the man with the arm
band.

* He is easily one of the nicest “celebrities” out there. He was
always taking time to sign autographs and talking to fans of his.
I can see why you like him.
* I have not seen anyone drink that much Jack Daniel’s since John
Daly.
* His hair is crazier in person than on TV.
* Other than one guy I knew in college, he is the only person that
still wears shorts and sandals in cold weather.
* He is a walking billboard. Every article of clothing was
promoting either Jack Daniel’s or one of his restaurants.
On Saturday, he was wearing a JD jacket, Tex Wasaby bowling shirt,
Knuckle Sandwich shorts and arm sweatband. Those last two are
two of his restaurants, in case you didn’t already know.
* He goes by the name “Guido.”

He also attached a picture to back up his story.

[caution: may induce vomiting!]
http://streeter.tumblr.com/post/56556479/guy-fieri-revealed?disqus_reply=4280294#comment-4280294

Ubiquitous

unread,
Feb 3, 2009, 10:28:32 PM2/3/09
to
We all know Guy Fieri is a douche. Sometimes, he is a bigger douch than
others. Due to this unpredictability, we’ve come up with a handy Guy
Fieri Doucheometer that scientifically measures the level of douche in
each photograph. Enjoy.

http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/01/the-guy-fieri-doucheomete/

serve_me_2009

unread,
Feb 13, 2009, 8:55:42 PM2/13/09
to
web...@polaris.net wrote:
>m...@physics.umass.edu wrote:
>>On Nov 12, 5:46 am, Ubiquitous <web...@polaris.net> wrote:

>>> The little troll's website has been revised:http://www.guyfieri.com/
>>>
>>> Gawd, what a douchebag!
>>>
>>> And here's the Guy Fieri bobblehead
>>> doll:http://www.guyfieri.com/images/shopping/bobble_head_large.jpg
>>>
>>> I just lurve how his shirt has "The other white meat" and
>>> "Don't be blah ™" on it. WTF?
>>
>>Never trust an Italian who can't pronounce "balsamic"
>
>I swear, it amazes me how dated and fake he sounds even using
>vernacular less than ten years old. Two seconds of him and its like
>watching old clips from MTV back when Martha Quinn was a VJ. Damn,
>that man is such a talking zit!

Dear Lord Guy is a total tool of FN. Each time that I tune into that
network, Guy is either in a commercial, featured in a show, or making a
guest appearance. I used to think that Emeril was oversold, but good
gosh, I can't seem to get away from Guy. I went to the local supermarket
yesterday to get a couple of items, and what did I see? Guy. Guy fucking
Fieri on a cardboard cutout advertising URS. What did I see on the video
screens located throughout the store? Guy fucking Fieri shoving food
into his greasy, sweating, gaping maw. I came home to relax, turned on
the TV before starting to make dinner. What did I hear and eventually
see? GUY. Please God, please make this walking, squawking, hair
chemically-altered, bling wearing turd go away.

Ubiquitous

unread,
Feb 13, 2009, 9:42:54 PM2/13/09
to
In article <gn48i...@eGroups.com>, serve_...@yahoo.com wrote:

>Dear Lord Guy is a total tool of FN. Each time that I tune into that
>network, Guy is either in a commercial, featured in a show, or making a
>guest appearance. I used to think that Emeril was oversold, but good
>gosh, I can't seem to get away from Guy. I went to the local
>supermarket yesterday to get a couple of items, and what did I see?
>Guy. Guy fucking Fieri on a cardboard cutout advertising URS. What did
>I see on the video screens located throughout the store? Guy fucking
>Fieri shoving food into his greasy, sweating, gaping maw. I came home
>to relax, turned on the TV before starting to make dinner. What did I
>hear and eventually see? GUY. Please God, please make this walking,
>squawking, hair chemically-altered, bling wearing turd go away.

Can someone please explain why that douchebag changed his last name
from "Fieri" to "Fieti'?

Ubiquitous

unread,
Apr 3, 2009, 8:56:20 AM4/3/09
to
http://guyfieri.blogspot.com/2009/03/rock-n-roll-fantasy-camp-giveaway.html

The T.V. show “Extra” is sending one winner to the Rock n Roll
Fantasy Camp — to rock out with Guy Fieri, Steven Tyler and more.

Click on ExtraTV.com for more information. You'll have to register
with their site and enter the "secret word" from Tuesday's show.
It's not a difficult secret word to figure out.

What does Guy have exactly to do with rock & roll? With all his heavy overdone bling
& stupid hand gestures, the secret word must be "douchebag".

Ubiquitous

unread,
May 4, 2009, 5:51:40 AM5/4/09
to
Holy FUCK! That new "pal" on that douchbag's show looks like Bozo the
Clown! http://www.freeimagehosting.net/image.php?d03ac76b50.jpg

Ubiquitous

unread,
Aug 30, 2009, 7:13:52 PM8/30/09
to
Be the first on your block to own these "cool and hip" Guy
Ferry^H^H^H^Hiery knives!

http://www.ergochef.com/guyfieriknives/

In 2007 I met the designers of Ergo Chef at a gourmet
show. I used the cutlery on stage during my demo and
was given a set to take home. After a year of wear and
tear in my kitchen - trust me it can be a knife gauntlet - I
was hooked on the quality and design of Ergo Chef�s product.
Before I knew it, I was teaming up with them to develop
my own collection. We sketched a range of designs lookin�
for the select few that really rocked technically and
aesthetically!

I�m a Hot Rod guy who knows that in order to do car-building
right, you need high quality performance parts. The same idea
applies to cooking, so the right knives are key. My product
features a combination of the best materials with a design
that will blow your mind!

As a chef, restaurant owner, and TV personality, I have high
expectations for my equipment and these knives meet and exceed
all of them. I�d like to thank everyone who brought these
knives to reality.

*rolls eyes*

Adam Gray

unread,
Jan 18, 2010, 7:52:40 PM1/18/10
to kuwaitlo...@yahoogroups.com
In article <Ys6dnQtfFNEosgvU...@giganews.com>,
web...@polaris.net wrote:
>
>In article <gn48i...@eGroups.com>, serve_...@yahoo.com wrote:
>
>>Dear Lord Guy is a total tool of FN. Each time that I tune into that
>>network, Guy is either in a commercial, featured in a show, or making
>>a guest appearance. I used to think that Emeril was oversold, but good
>>gosh, I can't seem to get away from Guy. I went to the local
>>supermarket yesterday to get a couple of items, and what did I see?
>>Guy. Guy fucking Fieri on a cardboard cutout advertising URS. What did
>>I see on the video screens located throughout the store? Guy fucking
>>Fieri shoving food into his greasy, sweating, gaping maw. I came home
>>to relax, turned on the TV before starting to make dinner. What did I
>>hear and eventually see? GUY. Please God, please make this walking,
>>squawking, hair chemically-altered, bling wearing turd go away.
>
>Can someone please explain why that douchebag changed his last name
>from "Fieri" to "Fieti'?

It's the Italian pronunciation of an Italian name.

Too bad the Lard Weasel's last name is really Ferry.

Wild69firefox

unread,
Jan 18, 2010, 7:55:54 PM1/18/10
to
In article <4018235946685...@yahoogroups.com>,

Yeah, he grew up with the name Guy Ramsey Ferry, so of course there's
that.

But even if the weasel had in fact gone through life with the name
"Fieri." the way he says it IS NOT the Italian pronunciation of that
name. In Italian, when there's a single R in the middle of a word, then
that R is just slightly lilted. In order for that name to sound anything
like Fee-Eddy, it'd have to be spelled with a double R. Double Rs are
rolled in Italian. Single Rs are not.

I saw about ten minutes of his GBB show this afternoon, and the older
son was co-hosting. Guy must be hanging out with Andy Cohen a lot
lately, because I noticed that he now likes to alternate between calling
his kid "Hunter" and "Boo." It's funny how the young sons of
television-losers-who-think-they're-hip always seem to have too-long
hair and wear Bobby Sherman love beads around their necks. I guess
they're being groomed as future "kewl rebels" like their dads. Anyway,
Lard Weasel Senior & Junior were making something called "Slamma Damma
Chicken Parm," and I wanted to watch the whole show (so's I could snark
on it later), but after Guido and Boo performed their fifteenth
overenthusiastic fistbump while inexplicably shouting "MONEY," I had no
choice but to change the channel immediately.

F.U. TV FN.

Sonja Mead

unread,
Jan 18, 2010, 8:37:32 PM1/18/10
to hose...@yahoogroups.com
tige...@live.com wrote:
>looma...@gmail.com wrote:
>>web...@polaris.net wrote:

>>>Can someone please explain why that douchebag changed his last name
>>>from "Fieri" to "Fieti'?
>>
>>It's the Italian pronunciation of an Italian name.
>>
>>Too bad the Lard Weasel's last name is really Ferry.
>
>Yeah, he grew up with the name Guy Ramsey Ferry, so of course there's
>that.
>
>But even if the weasel had in fact gone through life with the name
>"Fieri." the way he says it IS NOT the Italian pronunciation of that
>name. In Italian, when there's a single R in the middle of a word,
>then that R is just slightly lilted. In order for that name to sound
>anything like Fee-Eddy, it'd have to be spelled with a double R. Double
>Rs are rolled in Italian. Single Rs are not.

What's freakish about Ferry's name pronunciation is that he has everyone
else doing it! I mean, sure, it's his name. He can pronounce it bucket
and so it is. It amuses me highly that everyone who introduces him
pronounces it that way, even the Italians. It gives even the Sopranos'
pronunciation of words more legitimacy.

Ed Wyre

unread,
Jan 18, 2010, 10:37:32 PM1/18/10
to

I actually liked Guy a lot when I first saw him on NFNS. And I liked him when he first started Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives
(or D to the 3rd; Triple D; whatever the hell it's called now). But he's fallen victim to the usual FN curse--they find a
personality that people like and immediately overexpose them by giving them five shows at once, make everyone hate them and
then move on to the next "star". I don't hate him, but I'm to the point where I'm over watching him shove some 800 pound
burger in his mouth every week. I used to even like Rachel Ray now and then on $40-a-Day. Then, boom--she was on every damn
show with her EVOO (side note--hey, Rachel, it's not really a useful abbreviation if you have to say what it stands for every
time you say it) and her Easy Cheesy Breezy Yumm-o in the Tummo crap. I liked Paula when she first started. She was charming.
Then--boom. They give her two or three shows (oh, Gods, and her stupid kids got a show, too...) and she became this grossly
distorted caricature of herself slopping mayonnaise and butter in every dish and spouting "Howdy
Y'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall".

Joshua Gonzalez

unread,
Mar 18, 2010, 2:36:27 PM3/18/10
to
web...@polaris.net wrote:

>We all know Guy Fieri is a douche. Sometimes, he is a bigger douch than
>others. Due to this unpredictability, we’ve come up with a handy Guy
>Fieri Doucheometer that scientifically measures the level of douche in
>each photograph. Enjoy.
>
>http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/01/the-guy-fieri-doucheomete/

BTW....what's with the sudden addition of the Italian accent on his last
name....Fee-eddy's? I remember when he competed for his own show, it
certain wasn't pronounced that way. Is it supposed to lend him more
credibility as a cook? He's certainly no chef. The man can't cook a
single dish without using 6 burners, two ovens, every ingredient in the
refrigerator and pantry, and every bowl and dish in the house. No thank
you. I just wonder how long his show will last. He doesn't bring
anything new to the FN. Just a rehash of over-complicated and "cutesy"
names for recipes. And cocktail horrors!

Will someone ask Guy where he gets that stuff he calls "Reggianna
Parmigianna"?

And will SOMEONE teach him (and others on the FN) the basics...it's:

Paprika, not pap-a-rika.
Mascarpone, not MARS-capone.
Vinaigrette, not vinegar-ette.

UGH!

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