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Cartoon Viewing Club: Zob's Thoughts on "Hoist Goes Hollywood"
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Zobovor
Jun 16, 2016, 4:54:00 PM6/16/16
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Oops, totally forgot it was the 15th yesterday. Time flies when you're on vacation.
"Hoist Goes Hollywood" is episode #55 of the original Transformers series, debuting on November 21st, 1985 near the end of the second season. It's yet another Earl Kress story, who brought us episodes like "The Immobilizer" and "Desertion of the Dinobots." (Kress created the character of Carly, so of course she appears in this episode.) It's notable as the last "regular" episode of the season before the introduction of the Aerialbots, Stunticons, etc. whose presence dominated the remainder of the season. As per the Hasbro mandate, this was one episode scripted specifically to showcase one of the newer 1985 toy characters. In this case, Hoist is the literal and figurative star of the show.
So, our story begins with Hoist driving along a mountain pass with Spike and Carly in his cabin. The reason for their trip isn't made clear, but it seems like an odd grouping. Maybe after their experiences in, "A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court," Hoist and Spike wanted to see if they could find any modern-day vestiges of their adventure (and Carly wanted to interrogate him about the whole business with the fair Nimue). Anyway, whatever the true purpose of their journey, it's quickly interrupted by a motorist in a flashy red car rocketing across the rocky, narrow road. Spike makes a comment about how they're heading towards their own funeral if they don't drive more safely. When a second car chases after the first, Spike's curiosity is piqued and he tells Hoist to pursue them. "What happened to driving safely?" Hoist briefly wonders before he obeys. (His voice delivery here does not sound as though he's responding to Spike, but rather offering an opinion about safe driving, apropos of nothing.)
The cars are driving along parallel paths until one of the roads ends, forcing the second motorist off the road, causing him to flip and, rather miraculously, ending up on top of the first car, upside-down. It's the sort of preposterous, impossible coincidence you might expect to see in The Muppet Movie. It's around this time Spike and Carly realize that there's a motion picture crew filming on location. When I was a kid, I used to think it was highly improbable that the set wouldn't be closed off to random motorists, but based on what I've read more recently, this is actually a realistic scenario. It's impractical for production crews to completely block off a set from the public (and city officials dislike when public roads are closed down). The production crew explains the stunt sequence that they were filming has gone awry. When both cars end up on a rocky ledge, teetering precariously, Hoist springs into action. He saves both stunt drivers from what would have otherwise been a fiery demise, as both stunt cars fall to the ground below and explode.
Hoist is hailed a hero, and the film director takes an instant liking to him (though he seems incapable of getting Hoist's name right, and keeps calling him Moist). Spike and Carly notice a couple of film stars, Karen Fishhook and Harold Edsel (satirizing Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford of Star Wars fame, though Harold Edsel is dressed more like Indiana Jones). Edsel will be voiced by Corey Burton, and Fishhook is played by Susan Blu. This in itself is kind of funny, considering that Fishhook's character is a thinly-veiled Princess Leia reference, and Blu would go on to voice Arcee, who was based in part on Princess Leia.)
The director (voiced enthusiastically by Alan Oppenheimer) wants to offer Hoist a job on the set. There has been no establishing dialogue about Hoist being nonplussed with his role as the Autobot mechanic or any longing for greatness, something that might explain the impetus for this episode. Instead, Hoist simply accepts the job offer without hesitation, much to Spike and Carly's surprise. When the director offers the kids some free studio passes, Carly seems a little indignant when the director refers to her as Spike's girlfriend (they tend to hang out a lot, but this is the first episode that actually identifies them as a couple, perhaps erroneously).
Elsewhere, Dirge has recovered a secret invention from Wheeljack's workshop on Cybertron. By the time we see him, he's teetering through the air in jet mode, with the secret invention attached to his undercarriage, and he's clearly in distress. One can only assume he traveled over the space bridge, so if that's the case, why weren't the other Decepticons there to greet him? Why was he sent to carry out this mission all by himself? If he's all alone, then who attached it to the underside of his jet mode? Well, anyway. The Decepticons receive his distress call, right before he crashes into the grounds of the Major Pictures studio into what seems to be a swamp set. Unable to move or transform to robot mode, Dirge and his cargo need to be recovered quickly. Megatron takes a moment to blame a surprised Starscream for this whole affair before sending Astrotrain, Ramjet, and Thrust out on the rescue mission. The plot has officially thickened.
Elsewhere, Hoist arrives for his first day of work, with Spike and Carly in tow. (Get it? Because he's a tow truck.) The director absent-mindedly tells him to go get a donut and coffee until they're ready to film his scenes. "Dough-nut?" Hoist parrots, a little confused.
Just then, several of the Autobots, who have apparently gotten wind of Hoist's new career as a film star, arrive on the set in preparation of offering their acting services as well. Tracks swoops in dramatically in his flying car mode. Warpath rumbles onto the set in tank mode (and his headlights are now flashing blue when he talks, something he never did previously or afterwards). Sunstreaker and Powerglide also join the fray. "The Autobots have gone movie mad!" Spike proclaims. What do all these newcomers have in common? That's right, each of them has a streak of vanity. This is an example of the existing character traits dictating the path of the story to some extent. Given his arrogance, I'm surprised Grimlock didn't try to get involved. (In the Sci-Fi Channel edited-for-syndication version of this episode, most of the Autobot arrivals got cut for time, which means Sunstreaker and Warpath suddenly appear on the movie set with no explanation.) Powerglide finally flies directly into a painted backdrop that looks like a cloudy sky, crashing and offering a lame apology. How can this possibly happen to a character who isn't named Wile E. Coyote?
While Hoist is lamenting the sudden and inevitable end of his film career, and Powerglide shouts "Tracks!" for no discernible reason, the director is thrilled at the idea of five new stunt robots working for him. He's determined to incorporate them all into the film somehow. What follows is an amusing sequence that takes a few subtle swipes at the trickery and tropes of the movie-making industry. Sunstreaker crashes into a burning cabin, and Harold Edsel swaggers onto the scene post-crash, right before the camera resumes rolling, to make it look as if he's crawling out of the wreck. Karen Fishhook rushes to plant a big kiss on his cheek. Hoist tows Sunstreaker away. Powerglide crashes into a store window. Edsel pretends to emerge from the debris and Fishhook kisses him. Cue the tow truck. Tracks crashes into a brick wall. Edsel makes it look like he's crawling to safety. Fishhook rushes in to kiss him. Repeat ad nausem. I think it's the reuse of the exact same musical cue each time that really hammers the point home. It's more comical than this show usually tends to get. The icing on the cake is Tracks muttering, "Eh, he gets kissed. What do I get?" as Hoist hauls him away.
It's around this time that the production crew notices Dirge, who has been ordered by Megatron to shut down and keep quiet until the rescue crew arrives. The director definitely doesn't remember asking for a jet plane in his swamp, but always the master of improvisation, he's determined to run with it and orders the carpenters to just build a bridge over the jet. Problem solved! Meanwhile, the Autobots are discovering that being film stars isn't all it's cracked up to be. Despite the fact that they all essentially invited themselves onto the set and into the film, none of them are too happy that all they've been doing is stunt crash after stunt crash. When the director is dismissive of the Autobots and tells Moist to go get a bagel from the catering truck, the other Autobot primadonnas get furious and quit the movie. Accurate!
They say that you should be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it. The director is musing that the movie is missing something when Astrotrain and the jets arrive. Astrotrain reaches for Dirge with some scary-looking grabby arms, and that's a wrap for act one. Roll the commercial bumper! Everybody take five!
When we come back, the director can't pass up the opportunity to film the Decepticon rescue operation. When Thrust and Ramjet take notice of it, however, Ramjet identifies their camera equipment as weaponry and realizes it must be destroyed. On some levels this makes sense (a camera does kind of look like a gun) but not on others (the Decepticons should recognize camera equipment from when they were filming in "Megatron's Master Plan"; also, has Ramjet never met Reflector?). Ramjet (wearing Thrust's color scheme) transforms and grabs the invention, and then Thrust (the real one) transforms and follows him back to base.
Back at the Decepticon base, everything bad that has ever happened is clearly Starscream's fault. It's his fault the invention was dunked in the swamp and it's his fault the thing doesn't work now. Starscream can't understand what all the fuss is about; what is this thing actually supposed to do in the first place? Megatron's reasoning is that it was sequestered within the bowels of Wheeljack's workshop; therefore, Wheeljack must have kept it securely locked up because it was so incredibly powerful. I would love to know how Megatron even discovered this thing's existence in the first place. I imagine Wheeljack made some random battlefield comment like, "If only I had access to some of the stuff back in my lab! It would really shake the bolts off those Decepticons!" and it got Megatron's gears turning, intending to beat Wheeljack to the punch. He ordered Dirge to steal the first thing that looked vaguely weapon-like. This is how Megatron's brain works. Those little evil brain impulses with their sharp teeth and cute little faces.
For the Decepticons, things are going from bad to worse. Astrotrain asks the others if they've told Megatron about the film crew, but the others try to hush him. Ramjet responds with a "now, Astrotrain!" which suggests perhaps it's a good time to spill the beans, but the sotto delivery suggests a word got cut off during editing and he was really going to say, "Not now, Astrotrain!" Also, it's funny how Ramjet and Thrust thought the camera was a weapon, but Astrotrain knows full well it was a piece of motion picture equipment. Triple Changers are smart, except when they're stupid. Anyway, the Decepticons realize that if the Autobots see footage of the stolen invention, Wheeljack will easily be able to create something to neutralize its effects (an "anti-secret weapon weapon," one presumes). Therefore, the Decepticons' new priority is to recover the film at all costs. Yes, now the Decepticons don't care about stealing energy or conquering Earth or destroying the Autobots. The Decepticons have to steal... A MOVIE!
At the studio, the director is so enamored with the Decepticon footage that he wants to incorporate it into the movie somehow. Harold Edsel is concerned that giant alien robots don't really fit into the existing framework of the movie, which is clearly a star vehicle first and foremost. "Well, they don't fit into the OLD script," the director admits, "but the NEW script...!" He rebrands the entire movie as a science-fiction epic called Attack of the Alien Robots! Naturally, this means that now they need the Autobots back on the set. Also, Harold Edsel cries like a baby. And Karen Fishhook sells her cinnamon bun hairdo to Arcee.
The Autobots get the superstar treatment this time, complete with giant movie star chairs with their names emblazoned on the back. (Well, most of their names. The director apparently still can't commit names to memory, as evidenced by the back of Tracks' chair, which hilariously reads "Trucks.") They becme a little crestfallen when the prop department delivers their "costumes," which consist of goofy green alien masks. The Autobots proceed to chase after Karen Fishhook, who's now decked up in an appropriately over-the-top Jane Jetson get-up. Watch the Autobots hamming it up as they take huge, robotic marching steps as they advance upon her. Naturally, Harold Edsel is still the leading man, now playing the character of Dash Jordan. (In keeping with the Harrison Ford allegory, I would have preferred a character who more directly referenced Han Solo. However, Star Wars was based on the Flash Gordon serials to some extent, so I guess it's all interconnected in a very meta kind of way.)
There's a funny moment when Dash Jordan points a prop gun at Warpath, who refuses to fall over even after the director tells him that he's dead. "But his weapon didn't fire!" is his flabbergasted protest until the director has to explain a little about optical compositing. Powerglide is indignant about the whole affair. "'Monsters from space'? This bit is the pits! I'd rather do the stunt crashes!"
Meanwhile, Spike and Carly stumble into the editing room and find the editor (also voiced by Sue Blu) poring over film reels. Evidently someone has broken in and taken some of the film. "Who would want to steal scenes from THIS picture?" Spike quips. To find out which scenes were stolen and why they might have been taken, they go back to the original negative (locked in a vault) and reprint the scenes in question. Cut to Studio 4 where the Decepticons have temporarily shacked up, and Starscream claims to have successfully recovered all the footage filmed of the Decepticons. (Of course, Soundwave has to stand there and report that Starscream forgot about the negatives, because Soundwave's just a jerk like that.) What I want to know is, how in the world did Starscream fit through the door to the editing room? Usually, the Decepticons break through a wall to get into a human-sized facility, but there's no evidence of that here. (Starscream claims to have personally overseen the mission, which I guess theoretically means he took Ravage or somebody with him and had him do all the dirty work.)
So, Megatron is really peeved that Starscream failed in his mission. Starscream backpedals furiously, suggesting that they just destroy the entire place and every trace of the film. It's actually not a bad idea, but by this point Megatron isn't having any of it. He picks up Starscream and throws him across the room, as he's done many times before. It doesn't end there, however. Despite Starscream's very vocal protests, Megatron actually runs Starscream through with his fist, breaking his canopy glass and ripping out a fistful of circuitry and wiring. Starscream jerks visibly before his voice quickly grinds to a halt like a record player that's been unplugged. He's effectively deactivated. You can tell Ramjet and Thrust, who are standing nearby, are visibly shocked by this display. Brain Drain (Soundwave colored like Perceptor) makes a rare screen appearance, ready for Starscream's off-screen triage.
It's extremely rare for Megatron to do any kind of actual lasting physical damage to Starscream. The dynamic of their admittedly abusive relationship is such that Megatron requires Starscream to be around so that Megatron can blame Starscream for all his own failings. To actually shut him off, and in such a physically violent way, is really significant. At some point, Starscream finally managed to piss Megatron off so badly that Megatron finally felt compelled to cross that line. (The great thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know in advance when to cringe!)
Three paragraphs later and I'm still talking about this. From a real life perspective, I think the events from The Transformers: the Movie (which was under production in 1985) informed the dynamics of the second season to some extent. The writers knew that Starscream was scripted to be killed, so in some ways this fact may have provided them permission to allow the Megatron/Starscream dynamic to escalate. They knew the status quo was about to change, so scripting second-season events as a natural lead-up to this final confrontation would have been more permissible. Starscream's exile from Earth in "Starscream's Brigade" and "The Revenge of Bruticus" would also seem to be the result of this.
From an in-universe perspective, though, Starscream must have done something to really cheese Megatron off. I think it might have been when Starscream and the Triple Changers were colluding against Megatron in "Triple Takeover." That was probably the final straw. Really, though, it was probably cumulative. Starscream made so many bids for power that you can't realistically expect Megatron to just roll over and take it.
Okay, seriously, let's get back to the episode now. All five Autobots are in Studio 7 where a space set has been built, complete with a fake space ship mounted to a gimbal so it can rock back and forth during the action sequences. The director warns the robotic actors in advance about the pyrotechnic explosions they'll be using during filming, but Rumble sneaks into the studio and plants a genuine explosive charge underneath the ship.
Meanwhile, Tracks has a great exchange with Sunstreaker. "I feel like a fool," Tracks mutters, still wearing his alien mask. "Do you wanna quit?" Sunstreaker inquires. "No," says Tracks without missing a beat, "but I still feel like a fool." Hollywood in a nutshell. (It reminds me of the classic Muppets exchange between Kermit the Frog and Beauregard the janitor: "I'm sick of cleaning up after you guys all the time!" grouses Beuregard. "Why not quit?" suggests Kermit. "What, and give up showbiz?" Beauregard balks.)
The scene begins, with stagehands throwing fake asteroids at the ship to simulate space travel. "Oh! No!" says Powerglide in the world's worst attempt at acting. "It! Is! Dash! Jordan! Right! On! Our! Tail!" Warpath isn't much better. "He! Is! No! Match! For! The! Alien! Robots!... er, I mean, the EVIL Alien Robots!" I don't understand why people don't like this episode. It has a reputation in some circles as being among the worst Transformers episodes, but it's so cleverly written and so funny, with a huge, heaping helping of meta-commentary about the film industry. It's certainly a goofy premise and far less serious than the usual Megatron Builds An Invention That Could Destroy the World stories, but how many of those do we really need, anyway?
So, the Autobots giggle and guffaw about all the little fake explosions, and then the real detonator explodes and suddenly they're not laughing any longer. It's a suspenseful enough moment that we can cut away for a commercial break. The effect is spoiled somewhat by the shot of the perfectly-unharmed Powerglide and Sunstreaker, as well as the mostly-intact ship still visible through the smoke, so clearly it hasn't been destroyed. Of course, the reality of the situation is that we know full well that none of the Autobots have died, but part of the game is that we pretend to go, "Oh! No! I! Wonder! If! They! Are! Okay!" for about two minutes and thirty seconds. It's harder to play the game if there is zero suspense as to their true fate.
We come back from commercial and the animators are starting to get a little bit sloppy. In the wake of the explosion, Tracks is colored with an entirely red helmet and face, Warpath's face mask disappears, and Powerglide's face mask disappears as well. Three fairly egregious goofs, all in a row. I know once the finished animation was shipped from overseas, the Sunbow production crew would screen the episodes for problems and sometime request that scenes be redone. Maybe they didn't get this far into the episode when they checked it. (Or maybe the explosion knocked their face masks off. I guess that's possible.)
The director is pretty cheesed off, demanding a list of all the production crew members involved, probably so he can fire them all. Weirdly, Hoist totally downplays the fact that all the Autobots nearly died, telling the director to calm down and take a chill pill. It was just an assassination attempt; it's not like anybody was ACTUALLY assassinated. Once he realizes that they filmed the explosion and that they can use it in the movie, the director is hunky dory again.
Meanwhile, Marissa Faireborne is screening the recovered footage for Spike and Carly, which of course showcases Dirge's big-screen debut as a swamp-soaked movie prop. (Those clever post-production editors did some visual trickery and made Wheeljack's invention look tan-colored in the movie instead of the dark blue-grey color it was in real life. I'm not sure why. More alien-looking, perhaps.) Just then, Soundwave appears to steal the negative... dramatically bursting right through the theater screen. Surely this isn't another reference to The Muppet Movie, is it? This is an episode about making movies, so maybe there are just certain tropes that pop up in stories like this.
Soundwave is the ultimate no-nonsense Decepticon, so he doesn't waste any time taunting the humans or laughing diabolically. He blasts the projector room, destroying the newly-printed film. Spike and Carly high-tail it to the film vault to recover the negatives, now the only remaining photographic evidence of the Decepticon heist. They just start randomly pulling reels of film out of their canisters and holding them up to the light, because obviously nobody ever labels those stupid things. They get halfway down the hall and stop in their tracks. They don't say anything out loud, but they both mouth the words "Oh, shit."
Megatron's standing there, demanding the negative. Carly appears to totally lose her backbone, throwing it at Megatron and whimpering for him to please not hurt them. Of course, it was all a ruse, because she's chucked an empty film canister at the Decepticon leader; she had the real film reel hidden inside her shirt. When she tosses the canister at Megatron, though, her shirt is form-fitting and there's no room for a film reel of any kind in there. I smell plot trickery. They really should have draw a slight bulge or something. (The bulge does appear right before she pulls it out from underneath her shirt, but it's notably absent when Megatron confronts them.)
Soundwave appears again, talking slow, lumbering steps towards the humans, just as he was doing at the beginning of "Auto Berserk." I think that he's just so completely disinterested in humans that he can't be bothered to chase them with enthusiasm. Spike and Carly escape outside to the back lot where they find themselves inside some sort of production set for a jungle film. Zartan, King of the Apes, perhaps.
Spike and Carly venture into a cavern and find a control box for some robotic dinosaur props. They airbrushed this out of the DVD version, but in the original broadcast version of this episode (and the one that played on the Sci-Fi Channel), there was a moment where some handwritten notes were visible in the lower corner of the animation cel, probably some instructions to the animators. I wish I had a working VCR because I would love to call it up and take a screen shot of it. Stuff like this always fascinates me (I also have a tape of a Transformers: Generation 2 episode where they played the opening clapperboard slate, which was normally not supposed to be aired on television.)
So, the robotic dinosaurs rumble to life. Megatron, Soundwave, and Rumble are in pursuit of the humans, but when Rumble spots the robots, he identifies them as Dinobots and opens fire. Perhaps an understandable mistake, especially if Grimlock and Snarl are the only T. rex and stegosaurus he's ever seen. (Also, we know from Marvel Comics that Rumble and Frenzy have exceptionally poor optical resolution. Not sure if it applies to the cartoon versions, but it's an interesting parallel.) Being cheap movie props, the dinosaurs can only take a hit before they promptly explode. Megatron warns Rumble he'll share Starscream's fate if he doesn't get his act together, and Rumble is suitably frightened by the prospect. Also, Thrust has joined the hunting party by this point.
Spike and Carly flee the prehistoric cave and enter a completely different set, and spot two fishermen by the lake. Of course, you know by this point that nothing is quite what it seems. Sure enough, the fishermen are just props themselves, as Spike quickly finds out as he tries to warn them of the approaching Decepticons. The two fare no better when attempting to escape aboard a motorboat, which isn't even functional. In a nice visual touch, you can see the wood grain visible on the surface of the supposedly-metal engine. "This make-believe world is gonna be the end of us!" quips Spike. They take advantage of the situation by positioning the mannequins inside the boat, providing decoys for the Decepticons to capture while they make good on their escape.
Spike and Carly bump into Moist, bringing him up to speed. Moist puts together a plan and tells the kids to enter the studio with him. The Decepticons locate their prey (Soundwave does a scanny thing with his chest window) and Megatron orders them to surround the studio. There will be no escape for anyone. Inside, Moist is in tow truck mode and has the humans hooked to his tow truck winch. They are dangling precariously over a bubbling cauldron. "You and the rest of the Decepticons get out," Moist warns Megatron, "or I'll drop them and your precious film into this vat of flesh-eating lava!" (For the Rhino DVD version of this scene, Rhino tampered with the soundtrack and applied a reverb effect to Moist's voice. I'm not sure why this was necessary. The normal soundtrack was restored for the Shout Factory release.) Megatron calls Moist on his bluff, but as we all know, Vulcans, and Autobot tow trucks, never bluff. The kids scream in terror as Moist drops them, film and all. They promptly dissolve. Well, not really. But it's convincing enough for Megatron, who is satisfied that the film has been destroyed. He calls the retreat, and the Decepticons order a pizza.
Of course, this was all just movie magic, and good ol' Moist has given the performance of his life. "Amazing what you can do with a vat of muddy water, some air hoses, and a little smoke machine!" he remarks as he pulls Spike and Carly out of the vat. Finally, the Autobots bring in Wheeljack and have a chance to screen the footage. Of course, the big reveal is that Wheeljack instantly recognizes the invention as a piece of garbage. "THAT'S what Megatron wanted?" he balks. "That thing never did work! I mean, if it had, I would have taken it with us when we left Cybertron!" Oh, ho ho. All that work for nothing. Such irony.
The director is suitably impressed with Hoist's performance and wants to offer him a starring role in another movie. Hoist has had quite enough of the movie business, though. It's not as glamorous, but he's content with his job as an Autobot. The other Autobots heartily concur as they rally around him. The conclusion would have been a bit more solid if Hoist had expressed some discontent with his role at the beginning of the episode, but I'm sure a lot less time was spent writing the script than I spent writing this review. Also, I kind of wish that the Autobot commentary at the end of the episode had been layered on top of each other, since it doesn't really sound like they are ad libbing their praise; it just sounds like they're all taking turns speaking. Almost as if they were reciting lines from a script. Hmm!
I love this episode so much. Hoist is always a fun character, and I like his starring episodes a lot more than, say, ones that heavily feature Powerglide (who kind of annoys me). Basically the entire story is written with tongue firmly in cheek, and it's all done very cleverly. Sometimes the episodes with a specific theme or message are done with such a heavy hand (like the baseball jokes in "Child's Play") that it's difficult for me to really enjoy it, but this episode was done so well.
Not sure what to do for next month. Any suggestions?
Zob (insert parenthetical remark here)
"Hoist Goes Hollywood" is episode #55 of the original Transformers series, debuting on November 21st, 1985 near the end of the second season. It's yet another Earl Kress story, who brought us episodes like "The Immobilizer" and "Desertion of the Dinobots." (Kress created the character of Carly, so of course she appears in this episode.) It's notable as the last "regular" episode of the season before the introduction of the Aerialbots, Stunticons, etc. whose presence dominated the remainder of the season. As per the Hasbro mandate, this was one episode scripted specifically to showcase one of the newer 1985 toy characters. In this case, Hoist is the literal and figurative star of the show.
So, our story begins with Hoist driving along a mountain pass with Spike and Carly in his cabin. The reason for their trip isn't made clear, but it seems like an odd grouping. Maybe after their experiences in, "A Decepticon Raider in King Arthur's Court," Hoist and Spike wanted to see if they could find any modern-day vestiges of their adventure (and Carly wanted to interrogate him about the whole business with the fair Nimue). Anyway, whatever the true purpose of their journey, it's quickly interrupted by a motorist in a flashy red car rocketing across the rocky, narrow road. Spike makes a comment about how they're heading towards their own funeral if they don't drive more safely. When a second car chases after the first, Spike's curiosity is piqued and he tells Hoist to pursue them. "What happened to driving safely?" Hoist briefly wonders before he obeys. (His voice delivery here does not sound as though he's responding to Spike, but rather offering an opinion about safe driving, apropos of nothing.)
The cars are driving along parallel paths until one of the roads ends, forcing the second motorist off the road, causing him to flip and, rather miraculously, ending up on top of the first car, upside-down. It's the sort of preposterous, impossible coincidence you might expect to see in The Muppet Movie. It's around this time Spike and Carly realize that there's a motion picture crew filming on location. When I was a kid, I used to think it was highly improbable that the set wouldn't be closed off to random motorists, but based on what I've read more recently, this is actually a realistic scenario. It's impractical for production crews to completely block off a set from the public (and city officials dislike when public roads are closed down). The production crew explains the stunt sequence that they were filming has gone awry. When both cars end up on a rocky ledge, teetering precariously, Hoist springs into action. He saves both stunt drivers from what would have otherwise been a fiery demise, as both stunt cars fall to the ground below and explode.
Hoist is hailed a hero, and the film director takes an instant liking to him (though he seems incapable of getting Hoist's name right, and keeps calling him Moist). Spike and Carly notice a couple of film stars, Karen Fishhook and Harold Edsel (satirizing Carrie Fisher and Harrison Ford of Star Wars fame, though Harold Edsel is dressed more like Indiana Jones). Edsel will be voiced by Corey Burton, and Fishhook is played by Susan Blu. This in itself is kind of funny, considering that Fishhook's character is a thinly-veiled Princess Leia reference, and Blu would go on to voice Arcee, who was based in part on Princess Leia.)
The director (voiced enthusiastically by Alan Oppenheimer) wants to offer Hoist a job on the set. There has been no establishing dialogue about Hoist being nonplussed with his role as the Autobot mechanic or any longing for greatness, something that might explain the impetus for this episode. Instead, Hoist simply accepts the job offer without hesitation, much to Spike and Carly's surprise. When the director offers the kids some free studio passes, Carly seems a little indignant when the director refers to her as Spike's girlfriend (they tend to hang out a lot, but this is the first episode that actually identifies them as a couple, perhaps erroneously).
Elsewhere, Dirge has recovered a secret invention from Wheeljack's workshop on Cybertron. By the time we see him, he's teetering through the air in jet mode, with the secret invention attached to his undercarriage, and he's clearly in distress. One can only assume he traveled over the space bridge, so if that's the case, why weren't the other Decepticons there to greet him? Why was he sent to carry out this mission all by himself? If he's all alone, then who attached it to the underside of his jet mode? Well, anyway. The Decepticons receive his distress call, right before he crashes into the grounds of the Major Pictures studio into what seems to be a swamp set. Unable to move or transform to robot mode, Dirge and his cargo need to be recovered quickly. Megatron takes a moment to blame a surprised Starscream for this whole affair before sending Astrotrain, Ramjet, and Thrust out on the rescue mission. The plot has officially thickened.
Elsewhere, Hoist arrives for his first day of work, with Spike and Carly in tow. (Get it? Because he's a tow truck.) The director absent-mindedly tells him to go get a donut and coffee until they're ready to film his scenes. "Dough-nut?" Hoist parrots, a little confused.
Just then, several of the Autobots, who have apparently gotten wind of Hoist's new career as a film star, arrive on the set in preparation of offering their acting services as well. Tracks swoops in dramatically in his flying car mode. Warpath rumbles onto the set in tank mode (and his headlights are now flashing blue when he talks, something he never did previously or afterwards). Sunstreaker and Powerglide also join the fray. "The Autobots have gone movie mad!" Spike proclaims. What do all these newcomers have in common? That's right, each of them has a streak of vanity. This is an example of the existing character traits dictating the path of the story to some extent. Given his arrogance, I'm surprised Grimlock didn't try to get involved. (In the Sci-Fi Channel edited-for-syndication version of this episode, most of the Autobot arrivals got cut for time, which means Sunstreaker and Warpath suddenly appear on the movie set with no explanation.) Powerglide finally flies directly into a painted backdrop that looks like a cloudy sky, crashing and offering a lame apology. How can this possibly happen to a character who isn't named Wile E. Coyote?
While Hoist is lamenting the sudden and inevitable end of his film career, and Powerglide shouts "Tracks!" for no discernible reason, the director is thrilled at the idea of five new stunt robots working for him. He's determined to incorporate them all into the film somehow. What follows is an amusing sequence that takes a few subtle swipes at the trickery and tropes of the movie-making industry. Sunstreaker crashes into a burning cabin, and Harold Edsel swaggers onto the scene post-crash, right before the camera resumes rolling, to make it look as if he's crawling out of the wreck. Karen Fishhook rushes to plant a big kiss on his cheek. Hoist tows Sunstreaker away. Powerglide crashes into a store window. Edsel pretends to emerge from the debris and Fishhook kisses him. Cue the tow truck. Tracks crashes into a brick wall. Edsel makes it look like he's crawling to safety. Fishhook rushes in to kiss him. Repeat ad nausem. I think it's the reuse of the exact same musical cue each time that really hammers the point home. It's more comical than this show usually tends to get. The icing on the cake is Tracks muttering, "Eh, he gets kissed. What do I get?" as Hoist hauls him away.
It's around this time that the production crew notices Dirge, who has been ordered by Megatron to shut down and keep quiet until the rescue crew arrives. The director definitely doesn't remember asking for a jet plane in his swamp, but always the master of improvisation, he's determined to run with it and orders the carpenters to just build a bridge over the jet. Problem solved! Meanwhile, the Autobots are discovering that being film stars isn't all it's cracked up to be. Despite the fact that they all essentially invited themselves onto the set and into the film, none of them are too happy that all they've been doing is stunt crash after stunt crash. When the director is dismissive of the Autobots and tells Moist to go get a bagel from the catering truck, the other Autobot primadonnas get furious and quit the movie. Accurate!
They say that you should be careful what you wish for, because you might just get it. The director is musing that the movie is missing something when Astrotrain and the jets arrive. Astrotrain reaches for Dirge with some scary-looking grabby arms, and that's a wrap for act one. Roll the commercial bumper! Everybody take five!
When we come back, the director can't pass up the opportunity to film the Decepticon rescue operation. When Thrust and Ramjet take notice of it, however, Ramjet identifies their camera equipment as weaponry and realizes it must be destroyed. On some levels this makes sense (a camera does kind of look like a gun) but not on others (the Decepticons should recognize camera equipment from when they were filming in "Megatron's Master Plan"; also, has Ramjet never met Reflector?). Ramjet (wearing Thrust's color scheme) transforms and grabs the invention, and then Thrust (the real one) transforms and follows him back to base.
Back at the Decepticon base, everything bad that has ever happened is clearly Starscream's fault. It's his fault the invention was dunked in the swamp and it's his fault the thing doesn't work now. Starscream can't understand what all the fuss is about; what is this thing actually supposed to do in the first place? Megatron's reasoning is that it was sequestered within the bowels of Wheeljack's workshop; therefore, Wheeljack must have kept it securely locked up because it was so incredibly powerful. I would love to know how Megatron even discovered this thing's existence in the first place. I imagine Wheeljack made some random battlefield comment like, "If only I had access to some of the stuff back in my lab! It would really shake the bolts off those Decepticons!" and it got Megatron's gears turning, intending to beat Wheeljack to the punch. He ordered Dirge to steal the first thing that looked vaguely weapon-like. This is how Megatron's brain works. Those little evil brain impulses with their sharp teeth and cute little faces.
For the Decepticons, things are going from bad to worse. Astrotrain asks the others if they've told Megatron about the film crew, but the others try to hush him. Ramjet responds with a "now, Astrotrain!" which suggests perhaps it's a good time to spill the beans, but the sotto delivery suggests a word got cut off during editing and he was really going to say, "Not now, Astrotrain!" Also, it's funny how Ramjet and Thrust thought the camera was a weapon, but Astrotrain knows full well it was a piece of motion picture equipment. Triple Changers are smart, except when they're stupid. Anyway, the Decepticons realize that if the Autobots see footage of the stolen invention, Wheeljack will easily be able to create something to neutralize its effects (an "anti-secret weapon weapon," one presumes). Therefore, the Decepticons' new priority is to recover the film at all costs. Yes, now the Decepticons don't care about stealing energy or conquering Earth or destroying the Autobots. The Decepticons have to steal... A MOVIE!
At the studio, the director is so enamored with the Decepticon footage that he wants to incorporate it into the movie somehow. Harold Edsel is concerned that giant alien robots don't really fit into the existing framework of the movie, which is clearly a star vehicle first and foremost. "Well, they don't fit into the OLD script," the director admits, "but the NEW script...!" He rebrands the entire movie as a science-fiction epic called Attack of the Alien Robots! Naturally, this means that now they need the Autobots back on the set. Also, Harold Edsel cries like a baby. And Karen Fishhook sells her cinnamon bun hairdo to Arcee.
The Autobots get the superstar treatment this time, complete with giant movie star chairs with their names emblazoned on the back. (Well, most of their names. The director apparently still can't commit names to memory, as evidenced by the back of Tracks' chair, which hilariously reads "Trucks.") They becme a little crestfallen when the prop department delivers their "costumes," which consist of goofy green alien masks. The Autobots proceed to chase after Karen Fishhook, who's now decked up in an appropriately over-the-top Jane Jetson get-up. Watch the Autobots hamming it up as they take huge, robotic marching steps as they advance upon her. Naturally, Harold Edsel is still the leading man, now playing the character of Dash Jordan. (In keeping with the Harrison Ford allegory, I would have preferred a character who more directly referenced Han Solo. However, Star Wars was based on the Flash Gordon serials to some extent, so I guess it's all interconnected in a very meta kind of way.)
There's a funny moment when Dash Jordan points a prop gun at Warpath, who refuses to fall over even after the director tells him that he's dead. "But his weapon didn't fire!" is his flabbergasted protest until the director has to explain a little about optical compositing. Powerglide is indignant about the whole affair. "'Monsters from space'? This bit is the pits! I'd rather do the stunt crashes!"
Meanwhile, Spike and Carly stumble into the editing room and find the editor (also voiced by Sue Blu) poring over film reels. Evidently someone has broken in and taken some of the film. "Who would want to steal scenes from THIS picture?" Spike quips. To find out which scenes were stolen and why they might have been taken, they go back to the original negative (locked in a vault) and reprint the scenes in question. Cut to Studio 4 where the Decepticons have temporarily shacked up, and Starscream claims to have successfully recovered all the footage filmed of the Decepticons. (Of course, Soundwave has to stand there and report that Starscream forgot about the negatives, because Soundwave's just a jerk like that.) What I want to know is, how in the world did Starscream fit through the door to the editing room? Usually, the Decepticons break through a wall to get into a human-sized facility, but there's no evidence of that here. (Starscream claims to have personally overseen the mission, which I guess theoretically means he took Ravage or somebody with him and had him do all the dirty work.)
So, Megatron is really peeved that Starscream failed in his mission. Starscream backpedals furiously, suggesting that they just destroy the entire place and every trace of the film. It's actually not a bad idea, but by this point Megatron isn't having any of it. He picks up Starscream and throws him across the room, as he's done many times before. It doesn't end there, however. Despite Starscream's very vocal protests, Megatron actually runs Starscream through with his fist, breaking his canopy glass and ripping out a fistful of circuitry and wiring. Starscream jerks visibly before his voice quickly grinds to a halt like a record player that's been unplugged. He's effectively deactivated. You can tell Ramjet and Thrust, who are standing nearby, are visibly shocked by this display. Brain Drain (Soundwave colored like Perceptor) makes a rare screen appearance, ready for Starscream's off-screen triage.
It's extremely rare for Megatron to do any kind of actual lasting physical damage to Starscream. The dynamic of their admittedly abusive relationship is such that Megatron requires Starscream to be around so that Megatron can blame Starscream for all his own failings. To actually shut him off, and in such a physically violent way, is really significant. At some point, Starscream finally managed to piss Megatron off so badly that Megatron finally felt compelled to cross that line. (The great thing about repeating your mistakes is that you know in advance when to cringe!)
Three paragraphs later and I'm still talking about this. From a real life perspective, I think the events from The Transformers: the Movie (which was under production in 1985) informed the dynamics of the second season to some extent. The writers knew that Starscream was scripted to be killed, so in some ways this fact may have provided them permission to allow the Megatron/Starscream dynamic to escalate. They knew the status quo was about to change, so scripting second-season events as a natural lead-up to this final confrontation would have been more permissible. Starscream's exile from Earth in "Starscream's Brigade" and "The Revenge of Bruticus" would also seem to be the result of this.
From an in-universe perspective, though, Starscream must have done something to really cheese Megatron off. I think it might have been when Starscream and the Triple Changers were colluding against Megatron in "Triple Takeover." That was probably the final straw. Really, though, it was probably cumulative. Starscream made so many bids for power that you can't realistically expect Megatron to just roll over and take it.
Okay, seriously, let's get back to the episode now. All five Autobots are in Studio 7 where a space set has been built, complete with a fake space ship mounted to a gimbal so it can rock back and forth during the action sequences. The director warns the robotic actors in advance about the pyrotechnic explosions they'll be using during filming, but Rumble sneaks into the studio and plants a genuine explosive charge underneath the ship.
Meanwhile, Tracks has a great exchange with Sunstreaker. "I feel like a fool," Tracks mutters, still wearing his alien mask. "Do you wanna quit?" Sunstreaker inquires. "No," says Tracks without missing a beat, "but I still feel like a fool." Hollywood in a nutshell. (It reminds me of the classic Muppets exchange between Kermit the Frog and Beauregard the janitor: "I'm sick of cleaning up after you guys all the time!" grouses Beuregard. "Why not quit?" suggests Kermit. "What, and give up showbiz?" Beauregard balks.)
The scene begins, with stagehands throwing fake asteroids at the ship to simulate space travel. "Oh! No!" says Powerglide in the world's worst attempt at acting. "It! Is! Dash! Jordan! Right! On! Our! Tail!" Warpath isn't much better. "He! Is! No! Match! For! The! Alien! Robots!... er, I mean, the EVIL Alien Robots!" I don't understand why people don't like this episode. It has a reputation in some circles as being among the worst Transformers episodes, but it's so cleverly written and so funny, with a huge, heaping helping of meta-commentary about the film industry. It's certainly a goofy premise and far less serious than the usual Megatron Builds An Invention That Could Destroy the World stories, but how many of those do we really need, anyway?
So, the Autobots giggle and guffaw about all the little fake explosions, and then the real detonator explodes and suddenly they're not laughing any longer. It's a suspenseful enough moment that we can cut away for a commercial break. The effect is spoiled somewhat by the shot of the perfectly-unharmed Powerglide and Sunstreaker, as well as the mostly-intact ship still visible through the smoke, so clearly it hasn't been destroyed. Of course, the reality of the situation is that we know full well that none of the Autobots have died, but part of the game is that we pretend to go, "Oh! No! I! Wonder! If! They! Are! Okay!" for about two minutes and thirty seconds. It's harder to play the game if there is zero suspense as to their true fate.
We come back from commercial and the animators are starting to get a little bit sloppy. In the wake of the explosion, Tracks is colored with an entirely red helmet and face, Warpath's face mask disappears, and Powerglide's face mask disappears as well. Three fairly egregious goofs, all in a row. I know once the finished animation was shipped from overseas, the Sunbow production crew would screen the episodes for problems and sometime request that scenes be redone. Maybe they didn't get this far into the episode when they checked it. (Or maybe the explosion knocked their face masks off. I guess that's possible.)
The director is pretty cheesed off, demanding a list of all the production crew members involved, probably so he can fire them all. Weirdly, Hoist totally downplays the fact that all the Autobots nearly died, telling the director to calm down and take a chill pill. It was just an assassination attempt; it's not like anybody was ACTUALLY assassinated. Once he realizes that they filmed the explosion and that they can use it in the movie, the director is hunky dory again.
Meanwhile, Marissa Faireborne is screening the recovered footage for Spike and Carly, which of course showcases Dirge's big-screen debut as a swamp-soaked movie prop. (Those clever post-production editors did some visual trickery and made Wheeljack's invention look tan-colored in the movie instead of the dark blue-grey color it was in real life. I'm not sure why. More alien-looking, perhaps.) Just then, Soundwave appears to steal the negative... dramatically bursting right through the theater screen. Surely this isn't another reference to The Muppet Movie, is it? This is an episode about making movies, so maybe there are just certain tropes that pop up in stories like this.
Soundwave is the ultimate no-nonsense Decepticon, so he doesn't waste any time taunting the humans or laughing diabolically. He blasts the projector room, destroying the newly-printed film. Spike and Carly high-tail it to the film vault to recover the negatives, now the only remaining photographic evidence of the Decepticon heist. They just start randomly pulling reels of film out of their canisters and holding them up to the light, because obviously nobody ever labels those stupid things. They get halfway down the hall and stop in their tracks. They don't say anything out loud, but they both mouth the words "Oh, shit."
Megatron's standing there, demanding the negative. Carly appears to totally lose her backbone, throwing it at Megatron and whimpering for him to please not hurt them. Of course, it was all a ruse, because she's chucked an empty film canister at the Decepticon leader; she had the real film reel hidden inside her shirt. When she tosses the canister at Megatron, though, her shirt is form-fitting and there's no room for a film reel of any kind in there. I smell plot trickery. They really should have draw a slight bulge or something. (The bulge does appear right before she pulls it out from underneath her shirt, but it's notably absent when Megatron confronts them.)
Soundwave appears again, talking slow, lumbering steps towards the humans, just as he was doing at the beginning of "Auto Berserk." I think that he's just so completely disinterested in humans that he can't be bothered to chase them with enthusiasm. Spike and Carly escape outside to the back lot where they find themselves inside some sort of production set for a jungle film. Zartan, King of the Apes, perhaps.
Spike and Carly venture into a cavern and find a control box for some robotic dinosaur props. They airbrushed this out of the DVD version, but in the original broadcast version of this episode (and the one that played on the Sci-Fi Channel), there was a moment where some handwritten notes were visible in the lower corner of the animation cel, probably some instructions to the animators. I wish I had a working VCR because I would love to call it up and take a screen shot of it. Stuff like this always fascinates me (I also have a tape of a Transformers: Generation 2 episode where they played the opening clapperboard slate, which was normally not supposed to be aired on television.)
So, the robotic dinosaurs rumble to life. Megatron, Soundwave, and Rumble are in pursuit of the humans, but when Rumble spots the robots, he identifies them as Dinobots and opens fire. Perhaps an understandable mistake, especially if Grimlock and Snarl are the only T. rex and stegosaurus he's ever seen. (Also, we know from Marvel Comics that Rumble and Frenzy have exceptionally poor optical resolution. Not sure if it applies to the cartoon versions, but it's an interesting parallel.) Being cheap movie props, the dinosaurs can only take a hit before they promptly explode. Megatron warns Rumble he'll share Starscream's fate if he doesn't get his act together, and Rumble is suitably frightened by the prospect. Also, Thrust has joined the hunting party by this point.
Spike and Carly flee the prehistoric cave and enter a completely different set, and spot two fishermen by the lake. Of course, you know by this point that nothing is quite what it seems. Sure enough, the fishermen are just props themselves, as Spike quickly finds out as he tries to warn them of the approaching Decepticons. The two fare no better when attempting to escape aboard a motorboat, which isn't even functional. In a nice visual touch, you can see the wood grain visible on the surface of the supposedly-metal engine. "This make-believe world is gonna be the end of us!" quips Spike. They take advantage of the situation by positioning the mannequins inside the boat, providing decoys for the Decepticons to capture while they make good on their escape.
Spike and Carly bump into Moist, bringing him up to speed. Moist puts together a plan and tells the kids to enter the studio with him. The Decepticons locate their prey (Soundwave does a scanny thing with his chest window) and Megatron orders them to surround the studio. There will be no escape for anyone. Inside, Moist is in tow truck mode and has the humans hooked to his tow truck winch. They are dangling precariously over a bubbling cauldron. "You and the rest of the Decepticons get out," Moist warns Megatron, "or I'll drop them and your precious film into this vat of flesh-eating lava!" (For the Rhino DVD version of this scene, Rhino tampered with the soundtrack and applied a reverb effect to Moist's voice. I'm not sure why this was necessary. The normal soundtrack was restored for the Shout Factory release.) Megatron calls Moist on his bluff, but as we all know, Vulcans, and Autobot tow trucks, never bluff. The kids scream in terror as Moist drops them, film and all. They promptly dissolve. Well, not really. But it's convincing enough for Megatron, who is satisfied that the film has been destroyed. He calls the retreat, and the Decepticons order a pizza.
Of course, this was all just movie magic, and good ol' Moist has given the performance of his life. "Amazing what you can do with a vat of muddy water, some air hoses, and a little smoke machine!" he remarks as he pulls Spike and Carly out of the vat. Finally, the Autobots bring in Wheeljack and have a chance to screen the footage. Of course, the big reveal is that Wheeljack instantly recognizes the invention as a piece of garbage. "THAT'S what Megatron wanted?" he balks. "That thing never did work! I mean, if it had, I would have taken it with us when we left Cybertron!" Oh, ho ho. All that work for nothing. Such irony.
The director is suitably impressed with Hoist's performance and wants to offer him a starring role in another movie. Hoist has had quite enough of the movie business, though. It's not as glamorous, but he's content with his job as an Autobot. The other Autobots heartily concur as they rally around him. The conclusion would have been a bit more solid if Hoist had expressed some discontent with his role at the beginning of the episode, but I'm sure a lot less time was spent writing the script than I spent writing this review. Also, I kind of wish that the Autobot commentary at the end of the episode had been layered on top of each other, since it doesn't really sound like they are ad libbing their praise; it just sounds like they're all taking turns speaking. Almost as if they were reciting lines from a script. Hmm!
I love this episode so much. Hoist is always a fun character, and I like his starring episodes a lot more than, say, ones that heavily feature Powerglide (who kind of annoys me). Basically the entire story is written with tongue firmly in cheek, and it's all done very cleverly. Sometimes the episodes with a specific theme or message are done with such a heavy hand (like the baseball jokes in "Child's Play") that it's difficult for me to really enjoy it, but this episode was done so well.
Not sure what to do for next month. Any suggestions?
Zob (insert parenthetical remark here)
No One In Particular
Jun 17, 2016, 11:01:15 AM6/17/16
to
On 6/16/2016 3:53 PM, Zobovor wrote:
> Oops, totally forgot it was the 15th yesterday. Time flies when you're on vacation.
> Oops, totally forgot it was the 15th yesterday. Time flies when you're on vacation.
>I don't understand why people don't like this episode. It has a reputation in some circles as
>being among the worst Transformers episodes, but it's so cleverly written and so funny, with a
>huge, heaping helping of meta-commentary about the film industry. It's certainly a goofy premise
>and far less serious than the usual Megatron Builds An Invention That Could Destroy the World
>stories, but how many of those do we really need, anyway?
>
>
>being among the worst Transformers episodes, but it's so cleverly written and so funny, with a
>huge, heaping helping of meta-commentary about the film industry. It's certainly a goofy premise
>and far less serious than the usual Megatron Builds An Invention That Could Destroy the World
>stories, but how many of those do we really need, anyway?
>
>
> Zob (insert parenthetical remark here)
>
I admit, this was never a favorite episode of mine, but that's probably
>
because I didn't appreciate all of the meta jokes about the movie
industry. Totally changes my perspective on the episode.
Brian. (Ran out of parenthetical remarks years ago.)
Zobovor
Jun 17, 2016, 2:25:56 PM6/17/16
to
On Thursday, June 16, 2016 at 2:54:00 PM UTC-6, Zobovor wrote:
> I kind of wish that the Autobot commentary at the end of the episode had been
> layered on top of each other, since it doesn't really sound like they are ad
> libbing their praise; it just sounds like they're all taking turns speaking.
Okay, this is closer to how I envision the end of the episode. I like this version so much more. I threw it together in, like, two minutes:
> I kind of wish that the Autobot commentary at the end of the episode had been
> layered on top of each other, since it doesn't really sound like they are ad
> libbing their praise; it just sounds like they're all taking turns speaking.
http://www.zmfts.t15.org/hoist_goes_hollywood_alternate_ending.wav
Zob (sound editing software is the best kind of software)
Gustavo Wombat
Jun 18, 2016, 2:45:30 PM6/18/16
to
Zobovor <zm...@aol.com> wrote:
> Oops, totally forgot it was the 15th yesterday. Time flies when you're on vacation.
Vacation, then way too much work for me. Then I attempted to watch the
> Oops, totally forgot it was the 15th yesterday. Time flies when you're on vacation.
episode, and found that I hated it. I tend not to like tv shows or movies
about making tv shows or movies, and this is no exception. Also, it is too
goofy for my tastes.
> When the director offers the kids some free studio passes, Carly seems
> a little indignant when the director refers to her as Spike's girlfriend
> (they tend to hang out a lot, but this is the first episode that actually
> identifies them as a couple, perhaps erroneously).
sure his excuse was "but that was before I even met you", which was only
sort of true.
> Megatron takes a moment to blame a surprised Starscream for this whole
> affair before sending Astrotrain, Ramjet, and Thrust out on the rescue
> mission. The plot has officially thickened.
makes sense that Starscream would attempt to get his revenge in future
episodes, but it's completely jarring here, and particularly out of place
in a fluffy goofy episode.
> The Autobots get the superstar treatment this time, complete with giant
> movie star chairs with their names emblazoned on the back. (Well, most
> of their names. The director apparently still can't commit names to
> memory, as evidenced by the back of Tracks' chair, which hilariously
> reads "Trucks.") They becme a little crestfallen when the prop
> department delivers their "costumes," which consist of goofy green alien masks.
> So, Megatron is really peeved that Starscream failed in his mission.
> Starscream backpedals furiously, suggesting that they just destroy the
> entire place and every trace of the film. It's actually not a bad idea,
> but by this point Megatron isn't having any of it.
and slaughtering humanity in the process, but it's weird that Megatron is
not escalating to a larger battle. The Decepticons are just running around
like stooges.
>He picks up Starscream and throws him across the room, as he's done many
> times before. It doesn't end there, however. Despite Starscream's very
> vocal protests, Megatron actually runs Starscream through with his fist,
> breaking his canopy glass and ripping out a fistful of circuitry and
> wiring. Starscream jerks visibly before his voice quickly grinds to a
> halt like a record player that's been unplugged. He's effectively
> deactivated. You can tell Ramjet and Thrust, who are standing nearby,
> are visibly shocked by this display.
before. And, when he resorted to physical violence, it wasn't just failure,
it was Starscream's betrayals.
>Brain Drain (Soundwave colored like Perceptor) makes a rare screen
> appearance, ready for Starscream's off-screen triage.
> From an in-universe perspective, though, Starscream must have done
> something to really cheese Megatron off. I think it might have been when
> Starscream and the Triple Changers were colluding against Megatron in
> "Triple Takeover." That was probably the final straw. Really, though,
> it was probably cumulative. Starscream made so many bids for power that
> you can't realistically expect Megatron to just roll over and take it.
> Okay, seriously, let's get back to the episode now. All five Autobots
> are in Studio 7 where a space set has been built, complete with a fake
> space ship mounted to a gimbal so it can rock back and forth during the
> action sequences. The director warns the robotic actors in advance about
> the pyrotechnic explosions they'll be using during filming, but Rumble
> sneaks into the studio and plants a genuine explosive charge underneath the ship.
acting like a Quintesson. We didn't have Quintessons at the time, of
course, but Rumble is out of character.
> Meanwhile, Tracks has a great exchange with Sunstreaker. "I feel like a
> fool," Tracks mutters, still wearing his alien mask. "Do you wanna
> quit?" Sunstreaker inquires. "No," says Tracks without missing a beat,
> "but I still feel like a fool." Hollywood in a nutshell. (It reminds me
> of the classic Muppets exchange between Kermit the Frog and Beauregard
> the janitor: "I'm sick of cleaning up after you guys all the time!"
> grouses Beuregard. "Why not quit?" suggests Kermit. "What, and give up
> showbiz?" Beauregard balks.)
>
> The scene begins, with stagehands throwing fake asteroids at the ship to
> simulate space travel. "Oh! No!" says Powerglide in the world's worst
> attempt at acting. "It! Is! Dash! Jordan! Right! On! Our! Tail!"
> Warpath isn't much better. "He! Is! No! Match! For! The! Alien!
> Robots!... er, I mean, the EVIL Alien Robots!" I don't understand why
> people don't like this episode. It has a reputation in some circles as
> being among the worst Transformers episodes, but it's so cleverly written
> and so funny, with a huge, heaping helping of meta-commentary about the film industry.
mine. They never do it well -- feigning incompetence is hard. I cringe
every time I see it.
I don't see it as cleverly written, I see it as a bunch of boring cliches.
Also, meta-commentary about the film industry... yuck.
There's an Elvis Costello song, "When I Was Cruel", semi-autobiographical,
with a muddled line that sounded like "you were a spoiled child with a
rectal plug, and I was a shaven-headed seaside thug". When the full album
came out, with the lyrics, I was saddened to discover that the rectal plug
was "a record to plug".
>It's certainly a goofy premise and far less serious than the usual
> Megatron Builds An Invention That Could Destroy the World stories, but
> how many of those do we really need, anyway?
Seriously, though, I don't mind goofy episodes -- I love "Child's Play" --
and I don't mind them poking at the notion of the show (Transformers are
toys in the real world, and in that episode, they are the size of toys and
mistaken for toys!), but this episode doesn't work.
I don't buy any of the characters actions or behavior.
Also, all the Autobots are bad actors, and all in the same way. If they
wanted to make it more fun, Tracks would have grossly over acted,
Powerglide would have been wooden, and poor Moist would have delivered a
better performance than he does in his own life.
> So, the Autobots giggle and guffaw about all the little fake explosions,
> and then the real detonator explodes and suddenly they're not laughing
> any longer. It's a suspenseful enough moment that we can cut away for a
> commercial break. The effect is spoiled somewhat by the shot of the
> perfectly-unharmed Powerglide and Sunstreaker, as well as the
> mostly-intact ship still visible through the smoke, so clearly it hasn't
> been destroyed. Of course, the reality of the situation is that we know
> full well that none of the Autobots have died, but part of the game is
> that we pretend to go, "Oh! No! I! Wonder! If! They! Are! Okay!" for
> about two minutes and thirty seconds. It's harder to play the game if
> there is zero suspense as to their true fate.
Autobots. Sigh.
> Megatron's standing there, demanding the negative. Carly appears to
> totally lose her backbone, throwing it at Megatron and whimpering for him
> to please not hurt them. Of course, it was all a ruse, because she's
> chucked an empty film canister at the Decepticon leader; she had the real
> film reel hidden inside her shirt. When she tosses the canister at
> Megatron, though, her shirt is form-fitting and there's no room for a
> film reel of any kind in there.
not in a children's cartoon!
> Spike and Carly bump into Moist, bringing him up to speed. Moist puts
> together a plan and tells the kids to enter the studio with him. The
> Decepticons locate their prey (Soundwave does a scanny thing with his
> chest window) and Megatron orders them to surround the studio. There
> will be no escape for anyone. Inside, Moist is in tow truck mode and has
> the humans hooked to his tow truck winch. They are dangling precariously
> over a bubbling cauldron. "You and the rest of the Decepticons get out,"
> Moist warns Megatron, "or I'll drop them and your precious film into this
> vat of flesh-eating lava!" (For the Rhino DVD version of this scene,
> Rhino tampered with the soundtrack and applied a reverb effect to Moist's
> voice. I'm not sure why this was necessary. The normal soundtrack was
> restored for the Shout Factory release.) Megatron calls Moist on his
> bluff, but as we all know, Vulcans, and Autobot tow trucks, never bluff.
> The kids scream in terror as Moist drops them, film and all. They
> promptly dissolve. Well, not really. But it's convincing enough for
> Megatron, who is satisfied that the film has been destroyed. He calls
> the retreat, and the Decepticons order a pizza.
entirely out of character and killing two humans.
Had Hoist tried "I don't know what's on this, but I'll destroy it before I
let you have it" (without killing humans in the process) it would have been
more believable.
> Of course, this was all just movie magic, and good ol' Moist has given
> the performance of his life. "Amazing what you can do with a vat of
> muddy water, some air hoses, and a little smoke machine!" he remarks as
> he pulls Spike and Carly out of the vat. Finally, the Autobots bring in
> Wheeljack and have a chance to screen the footage. Of course, the big
> reveal is that Wheeljack instantly recognizes the invention as a piece of
> garbage. "THAT'S what Megatron wanted?" he balks. "That thing never did
> work! I mean, if it had, I would have taken it with us when we left
> Cybertron!" Oh, ho ho. All that work for nothing. Such irony.
be something that did work, but was utterly useless. A turbo-bidet,
perhaps.
> The director is suitably impressed with Hoist's performance and wants to
> offer him a starring role in another movie. Hoist has had quite enough
> of the movie business, though. It's not as glamorous, but he's content
> with his job as an Autobot. The other Autobots heartily concur as they rally around him.
had him go off to join the movie industry, but always be on call. Like
Tigertron in BW.
> I love this episode so much. Hoist is always a fun character, and I like
> his starring episodes a lot more than, say, ones that heavily feature
> Powerglide (who kind of annoys me). Basically the entire story is
> written with tongue firmly in cheek, and it's all done very cleverly.
> Sometimes the episodes with a specific theme or message are done with
> such a heavy hand (like the baseball jokes in "Child's Play") that it's
> difficult for me to really enjoy it, but this episode was done so well.
"Child's Play".
> Not sure what to do for next month. Any suggestions?
Also, I should have more time.
Have we done all the Alpha Trion episodes? "The Key To Vector Sigma" is
literally the next episode.
--
I wish I was a mole in the ground.
Zobovor
Jun 18, 2016, 6:27:51 PM6/18/16
to
On Saturday, June 18, 2016 at 12:45:30 PM UTC-6, Gustavo Wombat, of the Seattle Wombats wrote:
> Megatron is surprisingly violent towards Starscream in this episode, and it
> makes sense that Starscream would attempt to get his revenge in future
> episodes, but it's completely jarring here, and particularly out of place
> in a fluffy goofy episode.
It's basically the only act of violence in the episode (the Autobots don't even really fight the Decepticons at any point), so maybe that's how they were able to get away with it being so over-the-top. I think it would be jarring in any first- or second-season episode, though. There are instances of characters being deactivated for plot-driven reasons (Optimus Prime in "Divide and Conquer," Cosmos in "The God Gambit," Tracks in "Make Tracks") but it was always vital to the storytelling. This certainly is not an episode about Starscream being damaged and the other Decepticons rushing to save him. He gets eviscerated and then he's just absent for the rest of the story.
> Megatron is surprisingly violent towards Starscream in this episode, and it
> makes sense that Starscream would attempt to get his revenge in future
> episodes, but it's completely jarring here, and particularly out of place
> in a fluffy goofy episode.
> I don't recall Megatron throwing Starscream across the room many times
> before. And, when he resorted to physical violence, it wasn't just failure,
> it was Starscream's betrayals.
> Masterpiece Tracks should have had one of these masks.
> I understand that not every plan is going to involve taking over the world
> and slaughtering humanity in the process, but it's weird that Megatron is
> not escalating to a larger battle. The Decepticons are just running around
> like stooges.
>> Starscream made so many bids for power that you can't realistically expect
>> Megatron to just roll over and take it.
>
> Why not? He's rolled over and took it dozens of times before.
> Decepticons don't plant bombs. Decepticons shoot guns at people. Rumble is
> acting like a Quintesson. We didn't have Quintessons at the time, of
> course, but Rumble is out of character.
> Actual actors pretending to be terrible actors is some kind of pet peeve of
> mine. They never do it well -- feigning incompetence is hard. I cringe
> every time I see it.
> I don't see it as cleverly written, I see it as a bunch of boring cliches.
> Also, meta-commentary about the film industry... yuck.
The Muppet Movie is, honestly, probably the definitive movie-within-a-movie and I don't think anybody has managed to top it.
> Where do you think she was hiding her film reel? Oh, God, no, not there,
> not in a children's cartoon!
> The episode hinges on Megatron failing to realize that Hoist is acting
> entirely out of character and killing two humans.
> But none of Wheeljack's inventions ever work. I would have preferred it to
> be something that did work, but was utterly useless. A turbo-bidet,
> perhaps.
> It's not like they had great plans for Hoist in the future... I would have
> had him go off to join the movie industry, but always be on call. Like
> Tigertron in BW.
> I have no idea why you like this episode. Or how anyone can not love
> "Child's Play".
As for "Child's Play," I think it would have worked better for me if the Autobots had been shrunk down to toy size and were found by a human boy. The whole alien angle just makes it too weird.
> Have we done all the Alpha Trion episodes? "The Key To Vector Sigma" is
> literally the next episode.
Zob (is good either way)
Gustavo Wombat
Jun 19, 2016, 6:11:39 AM6/19/16
to
Zobovor <zm...@aol.com> wrote:
> On Saturday, June 18, 2016 at 12:45:30 PM UTC-6, Gustavo Wombat, of the
> Seattle Wombats wrote:
>
>> Megatron is surprisingly violent towards Starscream in this episode, and it
>> makes sense that Starscream would attempt to get his revenge in future
>> episodes, but it's completely jarring here, and particularly out of place
>> in a fluffy goofy episode.
>
> It's basically the only act of violence in the episode (the Autobots
> don't even really fight the Decepticons at any point), so maybe that's
> how they were able to get away with it being so over-the-top. I think it
> would be jarring in any first- or second-season episode, though. There
> are instances of characters being deactivated for plot-driven reasons
> (Optimus Prime in "Divide and Conquer," Cosmos in "The God Gambit,"
> Tracks in "Make Tracks") but it was always vital to the storytelling.
> This certainly is not an episode about Starscream being damaged and the
> other Decepticons rushing to save him. He gets eviscerated and then he's
> just absent for the rest of the story.
G1 Megatron threatens violence long before he delivers violence. And the
> On Saturday, June 18, 2016 at 12:45:30 PM UTC-6, Gustavo Wombat, of the
> Seattle Wombats wrote:
>
>> Megatron is surprisingly violent towards Starscream in this episode, and it
>> makes sense that Starscream would attempt to get his revenge in future
>> episodes, but it's completely jarring here, and particularly out of place
>> in a fluffy goofy episode.
>
> It's basically the only act of violence in the episode (the Autobots
> don't even really fight the Decepticons at any point), so maybe that's
> how they were able to get away with it being so over-the-top. I think it
> would be jarring in any first- or second-season episode, though. There
> are instances of characters being deactivated for plot-driven reasons
> (Optimus Prime in "Divide and Conquer," Cosmos in "The God Gambit,"
> Tracks in "Make Tracks") but it was always vital to the storytelling.
> This certainly is not an episode about Starscream being damaged and the
> other Decepticons rushing to save him. He gets eviscerated and then he's
> just absent for the rest of the story.
threat is enough, in every instance I can think of -- although for the
threat to have any weight, he must sometimes make good on it, perhaps
offscreen.
This seemed more like Armada Megatron, who dominated his troops by beating
on them. Lacked the craziness of Galvatron.
>> I don't recall Megatron throwing Starscream across the room many times
>> before. And, when he resorted to physical violence, it wasn't just failure,
>> it was Starscream's betrayals.
>
> I would have to screen every episode to make a list, but I'm sure there
> were at least one or two other instances of Starscream getting picked up
> and tossed. However, I'll concede this part of the debate until I have proof.
through every episode, make note of why Megatron beats on Starscream or
throws him across the room.
>> Masterpiece Tracks should have had one of these masks.
>
> That would have been kind of amazing. Well, they haven't done Hoist yet.
> Maybe it can still come with Hoist.
imagination, but most of the time I see the episode specific accessories
and have no idea where they came from.
> The impression I've always gotten was that Megatron only tolerated
> Starscream's tendency towards betrayal because Starscream was his best
> warrior. There had to have come a point where Megatron had to weigh
> Starscream's value against the risk he represented. I think it's
> interesting that the first thing Megatron did after Unicron gave him
> Cyclonus and Scourge was to go and kill Starscream. He finally had two
> powerful new warriors to replace Starscream, so there was no tactical
> reason to let him continue living.
defining characteristics -- it's what separates Galvatron from Megatron,
and it comes up in countless comic books where Megatron explains to
Starscream that someday he will lead but not today.
TF:Animated and TF:Prime Megatrons do not put up with it for very long and
it defines very different characters from the G1 archetype.
>> Decepticons don't plant bombs. Decepticons shoot guns at people. Rumble is
>> acting like a Quintesson. We didn't have Quintessons at the time, of
>> course, but Rumble is out of character.
>
> I wonder if Rumble was acting under Megatron's orders, or whether this
> was just something he decided to do himself? He didn't have the strength
> or firepower to take on all the Autobots alone, so an explosive kind of
> makes sense. It's not really his area of expertise, though, so he didn't
> use a big enough charge. Or something.
something that has been shown to be as powerful as the plot needs it to be.
>> Actual actors pretending to be terrible actors is some kind of pet peeve of
>> mine. They never do it well -- feigning incompetence is hard. I cringe
>> every time I see it.
>
> I think the Autobots' bad acting is supposed to be deliberately
> over-the-top in its horribleness. On the other hand, there's a Darkwing
> Duck episode ("A Star Is Scorned") where Darkwing plays himself in a
> theatrical production and his acting is similarly bad, and I disliked
> that part. I don't know why it bothered me in one episode but not the
> other. Maybe because by the time Darkwing Duck came along, I was older
> and more discerning. Or maybe the juxtaposition of giant alien robots
> acting in a movie is just funnier.
But they were all stiff, and all couldn't remember their lines and
hesitated. Tracks should have been blabbing and making speeches and
sililoquies (sp?) and generally dominating scenes whether he remembered the
dialog or not.
>> I don't see it as cleverly written, I see it as a bunch of boring cliches.
>> Also, meta-commentary about the film industry... yuck.
>
> Aww. Maybe this was just the first television episode I ever watched of
> this nature, so the ideas were still fresh and new to me. There are
> plenty of shows that have poked fun at filmmaking, I admit. There was a
> Real Ghostbusters cartoon episode where somebody decides to make movies
> based on the Ghostbusters' exploits, and the contention is that the end
> result was the 1984 live-action film (leading the caricature version of
> Peter Venkman to complain that the Bill Murray version didn't look anything like him).
>I remember a G.I. Joe episode where some film producers wanted to make a
> G.I. Joe movie, but it wasn't too memorable and didn't really stick in my
> brain. I also recently watched a Jem and the Holograms episode using the
> same premise, but that mostly dealt with the Misfits trying to sabotage
> the production, as I recall.
whole cringeworthy season of Seinfeld.
> The Muppet Movie is, honestly, probably the definitive
> movie-within-a-movie and I don't think anybody has managed to top it.
out the murder of the previous king. Shakespeare is slightly better than
the muppets.
Animaniacs had Slappy Squirrel, the old cartoon star who had movie
references all the time, and she was great.
Fun, unrelated fact: Judi Dench does obscene needlepoint between
scenes,mind then presents her coworkers will pillows beautifully
embroidered with words like "cunt". Now that you have that fun fact, do you
ever need to know what happens behind the scenes? No, of course not, since
nothing will top that.
>> It's not like they had great plans for Hoist in the future... I would have
>> had him go off to join the movie industry, but always be on call. Like
>> Tigertron in BW.
>
> That would have been cool. And any time Hoist was absent (like during
> the events of The Transformers: the Movie, or the entirety of the third
> season), we could rationalize his disappearance by saying he was working
> on his burgeoning film career.
techniques to trick the Decepticons.
>> I have no idea why you like this episode. Or how anyone can not love
>> "Child's Play".
>
> I think my favorite parts are the Autobots trying to understand what
> filmmaking is all about. The exchange between Warpath and the director
> ("But his weapon didn't fire!") is the best.
>The Autobots are still aliens and I like the culture shock. It's not
> believable that humans would still be shocked to see giant robots by the
> end of season two, but it's totally believable that the Autobots would
> fail to completely understand basketball, drinking coffee, etc. because
> it's not something they encounter every day. It's an episode that only
> works with Transformers, because all the movie clichés from the episode
> are things we humans all know about. (And there are so many jokes that
> they could have used, but didn't. I would have loved to see Soundwave
> and the tapes chasing Spike and Carly through the movie theater, only for
> Ravage or somebody to get stuck to the theater floor. Come on, don't
> tell me that's never happened to your giant robot cat.)
of the episode and Optimus was such a complete dick ("compute fast" and
then throwing the ball so hard it knocks Spike off his feet). But I don't
need to see that much of it.
> As for "Child's Play," I think it would have worked better for me if the
> Autobots had been shrunk down to toy size and were found by a human boy.
> The whole alien angle just makes it too weird.
whether there are a lot of giant races out there, and whether Aron will
ever get humans as pets. Aron and his kind are about Metroplex sized? It's
something they should have revisited.
Also, the baseball. The Decepticons sadistically playing games with the
humans, and the Autobots just kind of playing along.
>> Have we done all the Alpha Trion episodes? "The Key To Vector Sigma" is
>> literally the next episode.
>
> Okay, done! Can you handle a two-parter in one month's time, or should
> we do part 1 for July and part 2 for August?
parts is doable.
> Zob (is good either way)
>
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