Re: If I told you once...

[Peter Corlett]

Gallian <gal...@linuxmail.org> wrote:
> ...I must have told you a thousand times:
> "It does not work" is not an acceptable analysis of the problem. Ask the
> customers more questions before passing me a ticket, goddammit.

"Closed: Cannot reproduce."

[Martijn Lievaart]

On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 09:41:07 +0100, Gallian wrote:

> ...I must have told you a thousand times:
>
> "It does not work" is not an acceptable analysis of the problem. Ask the
> customers more questions before passing me a ticket, goddammit.

$COWORKER (different department) gets these kinds of tickets all the
time, and is since recently not allowed to talk to end users any more. At
all.

One guess what that did to the resolution times of tickets.

M4

[Richard Bos]

Roger Bell_West <roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:

> On 2015-02-09, Martijn Lievaart wrote:
> >$COWORKER (different department) gets these kinds of tickets all the
> >time, and is since recently not allowed to talk to end users any more. At
> >all.
>

> "Because we want them to remain as (our) end users."
>
> "Do you? Do you _really_?"

's a different interpretation of the word "end", innit?

Richard

[Wojciech Derechowski]

On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 11:10:11 +0000, Roger Bell_West wrote:

> Steps can be taken to ensure this.

Kill everybody in the whole world.

--
WD

Who is Entscheidungs and what is his problem?

[The Horny Goat]

On Mon, 9 Feb 2015 15:44:35 +0100, Martijn Lievaart
<m...@rtij.nl.invlalid> wrote:

>> "It does not work" is not an acceptable analysis of the problem. Ask the
>> customers more questions before passing me a ticket, goddammit.
>
>$COWORKER (different department) gets these kinds of tickets all the
>time, and is since recently not allowed to talk to end users any more. At
>all.
>
>One guess what that did to the resolution times of tickets.

Wow - when I was doing Helldesk we would have been lost if we could
not pick up the phone and ask "Can you tell us more about ____?" -
often we could solve their problem over the phone. Not always but
often enough.

[Steve VanDevender]

Rather like the sense of "end" as in "end times" or "endgame".

--
Steve VanDevender "I ride the big iron" http://hexadecimal.uoregon.edu/
ste...@hexadecimal.uoregon.edu PGP keyprint 4AD7AF61F0B9DE87 522902969C0A7EE8
Little things break, circuitry burns / Time flies while my little world turns
Every day comes, every day goes / 100 years and nobody shows -- Happy Rhodes

[Shmuel Metz]

In <86sief5...@gaheris.avalon.lan>, on 02/09/2015
at 09:41 AM, Gallian <gal...@linuxmail.org> said:

>....I must have told you a thousand times:

>"It does not work" is not an acceptable analysis of the problem. Ask
>the customers more questions before passing me a ticket,
>goddammit.

On the flip side, asking the cutomer for a trace of &foo is not
acceptable when thje problem record already includes the trace of &foo
that the customer already sent. Read the fscking problem record before
asking for "additional" information.

--
Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz <http://patriot.net/~shmuel> ISO position
Reply to domain Patriot dot net user shmuel+bspfh to contact me.
We don't care. We don't have to care, we're Congress.
(S877: The Shut up and Eat Your spam act of 2003)

[Peter Corlett]

Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz <spam...@library.lspace.org.invalid> wrote:
[...]

> On the flip side, asking the cutomer for a trace of &foo is not acceptable
> when thje problem record already includes the trace of &foo that the customer
> already sent. Read the fscking problem record before asking for "additional"
> information.

I've been on the customer side of enough indifferent tech support along those
lines that rather than engage in a battle of wits against an unarmed opponent,
I'm fairly likely to just cut to the chase and just ask to be put through to
disconnections. Occasionally, disconnections are so pushy about retaining me as
a customer that it just reinforces my urge to get away from that company ASAP.

[Shmuel Metz]

In <86siedx...@gaheris.avalon.lan>, on 02/10/2015
at 03:38 PM, Gallian <gal...@linuxmail.org> said:

>Wait, your first line support asks for too much information?

Not even close; they ask for information that I've already given them.
Repeatedly. QWith pointers back to where it's already in the record.

This isn't first-line support; those folks couldn't even spell trace,
much less ask for one.

[Martijn Lievaart]

Obviously that won't work.

Not tech but similar. It took 3 months, many phone calls and some
registered letters to get an account closed at $INSURER. Today got a
letter saying they reopened the account to put 3 cents interest in it.

And I wished I could say this is the worst they did. I really, really
fucking hate SNS Reaal with a passion.

For you Dutchies out there: "Foutje, bedaaaankt". I now know what they
mean.

M4

[Another David]

On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 16:32:30 +0000, Roger Bell_West wrote:

> On 2015-02-09, Wojciech Derechowski wrote:
>>On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 11:10:11 +0000, Roger Bell_West wrote:
>>> On 2015-02-09, Peter Corlett wrote:
>>>>"Closed: Cannot reproduce."
>>> Steps can be taken to ensure this.
>>Kill everybody in the whole world.
>

> Aw, you peeked.

It isn't going to work, the 'other' apes will step up and continue lusering
away.(this may actually be an improvment)


--
Troy: [singing] I hate every ape I see, from chimpan-a to chimpan-zee

---
This email has been checked for viruses by Avast antivirus software.
http://www.avast.com

[Peter Corlett]

Roger Bell_West <roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:

> On 2015-02-16, Another David wrote:
>> It isn't going to work, the 'other' apes will step up and continue lusering
>> away.(this may actually be an improvment)

> "The cockroaches say the internet is broken."

The cockroaches have also discovered some beige monoliths left over from our
civilisation and want to know what "PC LOAD LETTER" means.

[The Horny Goat]

On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 09:43:24 +0000 (UTC), Roger Bell_West

<roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:

>On 2015-02-16, Another David wrote:

>>It isn't going to work, the 'other' apes will step up and continue lusering
>>away.(this may actually be an improvment)
>

>"The cockroaches say the internet is broken."

Around our office we routinely say "The Internet is down!" when the
router is down for any reason (power outage, re-booting, loose cable
etc) the difference being that even our most innocent, non-technical
employees know that we're kidding.

[Andrew]

On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 16:11:48 +0000, Wojciech Derechowski wrote:

> On Mon, 09 Feb 2015 11:10:11 +0000, Roger Bell_West wrote:
>> On 2015-02-09, Peter Corlett wrote:
>>>"Closed: Cannot reproduce."
>>
>> Steps can be taken to ensure this.
>
> Kill everybody in the whole world.

I love you guys.

--
Andrew

IT is a filter. It accepts masochists on stdin and emits misanthropes on
stdout.

[The Horny Goat]

On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 16:49:16 +0000 (UTC), Roger Bell_West
<roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:

>On 2015-02-16, The Horny Goat wrote:
>>Around our office we routinely say "The Internet is down!" when the
>>router is down for any reason (power outage, re-booting, loose cable
>>etc) the difference being that even our most innocent, non-technical
>>employees know that we're kidding.
>

>Also: "OK, who broke the Internet this time?"

Yup that too.

I'm pretty sure all my employees know that if the Internet REALLY was
down it would be time to play Vera Lynn singing "We'll Meet Again" (as
in the final two minutes of Doctor Strangelove)

[Wojciech Derechowski]

On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 15:26:53 +0000, Peter Corlett wrote:
[...]

> The cockroaches have also discovered some beige monoliths left over from our
> civilisation and want to know what "PC LOAD LETTER" means.

Why, the type may well outlast all the other equipment except perhaps
Mannesmann 132 stationary hammer per line behemoths.

[Martijn Lievaart]

On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 20:04:39 +0000, Wojciech Derechowski wrote:

> On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 15:26:53 +0000, Peter Corlett wrote:
> [...]
>> The cockroaches have also discovered some beige monoliths left over
>> from our civilisation and want to know what "PC LOAD LETTER" means.
>
> Why, the type may well outlast all the other equipment except perhaps
> Mannesmann 132 stationary hammer per line behemoths.

I think you are forgetting the ASR 33.

[ I remember them being placed on concrete stands to stop them walking
away, but Google does not support that memory ]

M4

[Martijn Lievaart]

On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 12:01:54 -0800, The Horny Goat wrote:

> I'm pretty sure all my employees know that if the Internet REALLY was
> down it would be time to play Vera Lynn singing "We'll Meet Again" (as
> in the final two minutes of Doctor Strangelove)

Nah, try a really big disaster and the whole world trying to watch either
CNN, Al Jazeira, or both.

Which is why current $ORK has expensive leased lines instead of VPNs,
that's the moment when we may need the communication most.

M4

[Wojciech Derechowski]

On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 23:24:38 +0000, Martijn Lievaart wrote:
> On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 20:04:39 +0000, Wojciech Derechowski wrote:
>
>> On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 15:26:53 +0000, Peter Corlett wrote:
>> [...]
>>> The cockroaches have also discovered some beige monoliths left over
>>> from our civilisation and want to know what "PC LOAD LETTER" means.
>>
>> Why, the type may well outlast all the other equipment except perhaps
>> Mannesmann 132 stationary hammer per line behemoths.
>
> I think you are forgetting the ASR 33.

I was thinking about >1000 lpm in draft mode, something that compares to the
laser ppm speeds.

[Martijn Lievaart]

I know, we used those until recently. OK, I don't know if it was that
specific model but it was a Mannesmann, it was a lineprinter, it did an
incredible amount of lpm, made maybe even more noise than the ASR33 and
was completely indestructible.

They now have been replaced by lasers that operate in pps instead of ppm,
break down if you open them the wrong way (no joke) or do anything else
not *exactly* as specified in the two day course necessary to operate one
of those beasts, and give you an immediate root prompt if you telnet to
port 22.

The output does look better than the Mannesmann, I have to admit.

M4

[Martijn Lievaart]

On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 23:38:35 +0000, Roger Bell_West wrote:

> On 2015-02-16, Martijn Lievaart wrote:
>>Nah, try a really big disaster and the whole world trying to watch
>>either CNN, Al Jazeira, or both.
>

> In late September 2001 I wrote my world disaster detector, which loads
> up the front pages of a bunch of news sites and various others. If the
> news sites get slow and the others don't, Something Is Happening.

That's neat! You should create a web portal for that!

M4

/me gets coat.

[Martijn Lievaart]

On Tue, 17 Feb 2015 09:35:10 +0000, Roger Bell_West wrote:

> On 2015-02-17, Martijn Lievaart wrote:
>>and give you an immediate root prompt if you telnet to port 22.

> ^^
> That's just... _perverse_.

Grrr.. Port 23. Sorry about that.

M4

[Martijn Lievaart]

On Tue, 17 Feb 2015 09:34:41 +0000, Roger Bell_West wrote:

> The logic would be much simpler. "Many more people than usual are
> loading the portal page - something must be happening."

True enough. :-)

M4

[Richard Bos]

ab...@leftmind.net (AdB) wrote:

> Roger Bell_West posted thus:

> >On 2015-02-16, The Horny Goat wrote:

> >>Around our office we routinely say "The Internet is down!" ...

> >Also: "OK, who broke the Internet this time?"
>

> I've used "Router Broken - Planet Cut Off" before.

How English of you.

Richard

[Shmuel Metz]

In <mqaarb-...@news.rtij.nl>, on 02/17/2015

at 12:24 AM, Martijn Lievaart <m...@rtij.nl.invlalid> said:

>On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 20:04:39 +0000, Wojciech Derechowski wrote:

>> On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 15:26:53 +0000, Peter Corlett wrote:
>> [...]
>>> The cockroaches have also discovered some beige monoliths left over
>>> from our civilisation and want to know what "PC LOAD LETTER" means.
>>
>> Why, the type may well outlast all the other equipment except perhaps
>> Mannesmann 132 stationary hammer per line behemoths.

>I think you are forgetting the ASR 33.

The 1403N1 was fairly sturdy.

[Stoneshop]

Martijn Lievaart wrote:

> [ I remember them being placed on concrete stands to stop them walking
> away, but Google does not support that memory ]

The moving parts aren't that heavy, except for the main shaft but as that
one runs through the machine sideways it won't cause the unit to hop.

--
// Rik Steenwinkel
// Zevenaar, Netherlands

[Shmuel Metz]

In <slrnme5ilm...@um5000.mystora.com>, on 02/17/2015

at 04:54 AM, Wojciech Derechowski <wdd...@um5000.mystora.com> said:

>I was thinking about >1000 lpm in draft mode, something that compares
>to the laser ppm speeds.

What are you trying to say? Laser printers were faster than 1000 LPM.

[Wojciech Derechowski]

On Tue, 17 Feb 2015 21:44:18 +0000, Shmuel Metz wrote:
> In <slrnme5ilm...@um5000.mystora.com>, on 02/17/2015
> at 04:54 AM, Wojciech Derechowski <wdd...@um5000.mystora.com> said:
>
>>I was thinking about >1000 lpm in draft mode, something that compares
>>to the laser ppm speeds.
>
> What are you trying to say? Laser printers were faster than 1000 LPM.

"Oh yeah? How much?"

[Martijn Lievaart]

On Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:52:11 +0000, Wojciech Derechowski wrote:

> On Tue, 17 Feb 2015 21:44:18 +0000, Shmuel Metz wrote:
>> In <slrnme5ilm...@um5000.mystora.com>, on 02/17/2015
>> at 04:54 AM, Wojciech Derechowski <wdd...@um5000.mystora.com> said:
>>
>>>I was thinking about >1000 lpm in draft mode, something that compares
>>>to the laser ppm speeds.
>>
>> What are you trying to say? Laser printers were faster than 1000 LPM.
>
> "Oh yeah? How much?"

Try printing in Courier 6 and you'll find most lasers offer amazing lpm.

M4

[Mike A]

Martijn Lievaart <m...@rtij.nl.invlalid> wrote in <f86erb-...@news.rtij.nl>:

The VOZ 3850 and 3900 were as fast as a runaway 1403N1. If the paper wasn't
properly threaded, it would shoot straight out for as much as 4-6 feet before
it fell to the floor. That;s a lot of lines per minute.

--
Judging by this particular thread, many people in this group spend years
taking illogical, pointless orders from morons and having their will to
live systematically crushed. And that's the teachers. Think what it's like
for the kids! -- after Rayner, in the Monastery

[Peter Corlett]

Mike A <mi...@mikea.ath.cx> wrote:
[...]

> The VOZ 3850 and 3900 were as fast as a runaway 1403N1. If the paper wasn't
> properly threaded, it would shoot straight out for as much as 4-6 feet before
> it fell to the floor. That;s a lot of lines per minute.

It might almost be as many lines per minute as a banker's New Year's Eve party.

[Peter H. Coffin]

On Wed, 18 Feb 2015 08:14:32 -0600, Mike A wrote:

> Martijn Lievaart <m...@rtij.nl.invlalid> wrote in
> <f86erb-...@news.rtij.nl>:
>

>> Try printing in Courier 6 and you'll find most lasers offer amazing
>> lpm.
>
> The VOZ 3850 and 3900 were as fast as a runaway 1403N1. If the paper
> wasn't properly threaded, it would shoot straight out for as much
> as 4-6 feet before it fell to the floor. That;s a lot of lines per
> minute.

I spent part-time over five years on the care and feeding of a 3835.
Fussy thing, but when it was working well, it would spit out paper
faster than the photocopier right next to it, and who doesn't appreciate
a 2500-sheet feeder tray during lunch?

--
_ o
|/)

[The Horny Goat]

On Wed, 18 Feb 2015 11:31:11 +0100, Martijn Lievaart
<m...@rtij.nl.invlalid> wrote:

>>> What are you trying to say? Laser printers were faster than 1000 LPM.
>>
>> "Oh yeah? How much?"
>
>Try printing in Courier 6 and you'll find most lasers offer amazing lpm.

Ability to actually READ such text is optional! (I routinely put the
date or file path on the bottom of my documents in 4 point type not
because I expect the reader to read it but to help me remember the
name of the document later - particularly for forms! If I see it there
I'll look real close and often save myself significant amounts of time
as opposed to a year later remembering what the form was called...)

[Martijn Lievaart]

You cannot read it, and you look at it to see the name of the form? Your
amulet of ESP must be working better than mine.

M4

[Shmuel Metz]

In <fhh9ealtl8q5597ni...@4ax.com>, on 02/18/2015

at 09:06 AM, The Horny Goat <lcr...@home.ca> said:

>Ability to actually READ such text is optional!

Well, I could read 8 LPI from a 1403N1 or 3211 and I could read the
dump character set on a 3800, to say nothing of denser fonts on
cut-paper laser printers.

[Shmuel Metz]

In <slrnme8l0g...@um5000.mystora.com>, on 02/18/2015
at 08:52 AM, Wojciech Derechowski <wdd...@um5000.mystora.com> said:

>"Oh yeah? How much?"

That depends on the character size.

[Shmuel Metz]

In <8bjerb-...@mikea.ath.cx>, on 02/18/2015
at 08:14 AM, Mike A <mi...@mikea.ath.cx> said:

>The VOZ 3850

ITYM 3800, at 31.8 "/s; the 3850 was the MSS

>3900

faster than the 3800.

[Richard Bos]

The Horny Goat <lcr...@home.ca> wrote:

> On Wed, 18 Feb 2015 11:31:11 +0100, Martijn Lievaart
>

> >>> What are you trying to say? Laser printers were faster than 1000 LPM.
> >>
> >> "Oh yeah? How much?"
> >
> >Try printing in Courier 6 and you'll find most lasers offer amazing lpm.
>
> Ability to actually READ such text is optional!

Particularly after a sufficient number of years. I have printed text
that I could read fine at the time and can only _almost_ make out these
days. Growing up sucks.

Richard

[Juergen Nickelsen]

ral...@xs4all.nl (Richard Bos) writes:

>> >Try printing in Courier 6 and you'll find most lasers offer amazing lpm.
>>
>> Ability to actually READ such text is optional!
>
> Particularly after a sufficient number of years. I have printed text
> that I could read fine at the time and can only _almost_ make out these
> days. Growing up sucks.

Sorry to break it to you, pal, but that is not "up" that you grow, but
"old". Welcome to the club. It is time to get yourself some glasses.


It is also the time, lucky me, where we shortsighted people finally cash
in our rewards for having to wear glasses all our life:

(a) having to wear glasses due to presbyopia isn't much of a hardship if
you are used to it anyway, and
(b) without glasses we can, despite the age, *still* see very small
things that others cannot -- especially in that age. :->

--
Being understood is not the most essential thing in life.
-- Jodie Foster

[Mike A]

Juergen Nickelsen <n...@w21.org> wrote in <vf0hr3tl...@bermuda.zedat.fu-berlin.de>:

> ral...@xs4all.nl (Richard Bos) writes:
>
>>> >Try printing in Courier 6 and you'll find most lasers offer amazing lpm.
>>>
>>> Ability to actually READ such text is optional!
>>
>> Particularly after a sufficient number of years. I have printed text
>> that I could read fine at the time and can only _almost_ make out these
>> days. Growing up sucks.
>
> Sorry to break it to you, pal, but that is not "up" that you grow, but
> "old". Welcome to the club. It is time to get yourself some glasses.

s/old/older/

I'm 68, and I'm not old yet.

--
If The Phone Company had been doing the installs on the Transcontinental
Telegraph line, we'd still be using semaphores and smoke signals.

[Richard Bos]

Juergen Nickelsen <n...@w21.org> wrote:

> ral...@xs4all.nl (Richard Bos) writes:
>
> >> >Try printing in Courier 6 and you'll find most lasers offer amazing lpm.
> >>
> >> Ability to actually READ such text is optional!
> >
> > Particularly after a sufficient number of years. I have printed text
> > that I could read fine at the time and can only _almost_ make out these
> > days. Growing up sucks.
>
> Sorry to break it to you, pal, but that is not "up" that you grow, but
> "old". Welcome to the club. It is time to get yourself some glasses.

Yeah, I know. I've been putting it off.

> It is also the time, lucky me, where we shortsighted people finally cash
> in our rewards for having to wear glasses all our life:
>
> (a) having to wear glasses due to presbyopia isn't much of a hardship if
> you are used to it anyway, and
> (b) without glasses we can, despite the age, *still* see very small
> things that others cannot -- especially in that age. :->

Funny, that. I always have been able to see small things - I could tell
the CMYK printing plates apart by the screen angles even when my
colleagues couldn't, and I always used to be able to read the tiny
writing on our old guilder notes - but I've never had any problems with
distance vision, either[1].
But for the last year or so I've had problems reading smaller letters,
particularly in bad light or idiotic colour combinations. For example, I
frequently find the lettering on the back of beer bottles illegible
now[2], because they tend to be printed in "creative" fonts and colour
combinations.
Yes, I'm well aware that it's age, but that doesn't mean I have to like
it. Excuse my while I go off to sulk, maturely.

Richard

[1] Then again, my eyes have always been more sensitive than average to
weather and bright sunlight (unlike my family, but they all have brown
eyes, I have blue-grey ones). So it's not all perfect.
[2] And no, smartarses, that's _before_ I've drunk the content.

[Julian Macassey]

On Tue, 17 Feb 2015 00:24:38 +0100, Martijn Lievaart <m...@rtij.nl.invlalid> wrote:
>
> I think you are forgetting the ASR 33.
>

> [ I remember them being placed on concrete stands to stop them walking
> away, but Google does not support that memory ]

I used to have an ASR 33 that sat on the lab floor of vinyl
tile. It would slowly walk away until it ran out of slack cable. I
would have to shove it back to my desk.

I note with interest that the goggle monster seems to know
little about pre goggle hardware.


--
The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and
opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society.
- Edward Bernays

[Shmuel Metz]

In <slrnmehuno...@adeed.tele.com>, on 02/21/2015

at 09:38 PM, Julian Macassey <jul...@tele.com> said:

>I note with interest that the goggle monster seems to know little
>about pre goggle hardware.

These days I often don't bother with gargle and go straight to wiki.

[Erwan David]

ab...@leftmind.net (AdB) disait le 02/16/15 que :

> Roger Bell_West posted thus:
>>On 2015-02-16, The Horny Goat wrote:
>>>Around our office we routinely say "The Internet is down!" ...
>>Also: "OK, who broke the Internet this time?"
>
> I've used "Router Broken - Planet Cut Off" before.

It reminds me "due to the fog over english channel, the continent is isolated"

--
Les simplifications c'est trop compliqué

[TimC]

On 2015-02-16, The Horny Goat (aka Bruce)
was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
> On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 09:43:24 +0000 (UTC), Roger Bell_West
> <roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:
>>"The cockroaches say the internet is broken."
>
> Around our office we routinely say "The Internet is down!" when the
> router is down for any reason (power outage, re-booting, loose cable
> etc) the difference being that even our most innocent, non-technical
> employees know that we're kidding.

ubfg -g gkg vfgurvagreargbasver.pbz | phg -s 2 -q '"' | pbjfnl -s zbbfr

--
Thus sprach TimC
"Eppur si muove!" (And yet it does move!)
-- Galileo Galilei

[TimC]

On 2015-02-16, The Horny Goat (aka Bruce)
was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:

> On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 16:49:16 +0000 (UTC), Roger Bell_West
> <roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:
>>Also: "OK, who broke the Internet this time?"
>

> Yup that too.
>
> I'm pretty sure all my employees know that if the Internet REALLY was
> down it would be time to play Vera Lynn singing "We'll Meet Again" (as
> in the final two minutes of Doctor Strangelove)

I was on a bicycle ride organised through a mailing list.

I should have known two things - that I was in the company of people
drawn from a biased sample. And that I wasn't going to be able to fix
that particular problem when everyone's pagers went off (my phone went
off, literally, with out of battery, 30 minutes later when our
particular 24/7 operators finally got around to detecting that
particular nation wide problem and got around to calling me up, and
the next day the boss's boss had in his hand my previously filled out
form with a request for a new phone, this time paid for by the
company).

--
Thus sprach TimC
"Consider a spherical bear, in simple harmonic motion..."
-- Professor in the UCB physics department

[TimC]

On 2015-02-16, Martijn Lievaart (aka Bruce)

was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:

> On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 12:01:54 -0800, The Horny Goat wrote:
>
>> I'm pretty sure all my employees know that if the Internet REALLY was
>> down it would be time to play Vera Lynn singing "We'll Meet Again" (as
>> in the final two minutes of Doctor Strangelove)
>

> Nah, try a really big disaster and the whole world trying to watch either
> CNN, Al Jazeira, or both.
>
> Which is why current $ORK has expensive leased lines instead of VPNs,
> that's the moment when we may need the communication most.

Meanwhile we're busy trying to get rid of our redundancy and
resilience, because it's too expensive for this particular emergency
organisation.

--
Thus sprach TimC
The stereotypical Islay is like chewing on a well-preserved rowing
boat, spiced up with seaweed, whereas the 20yo Laddie is more like
relishing a gourmet meal in said rowing boat. -- Ingvar in ASR

[Wojciech Derechowski]

On Tue, 03 Mar 2015 13:32:38 +0000, TimC wrote:

> ubfg -g gkg vfgurvagreargbasver.pbz | phg -s 2 -q '"' | pbjfnl -s zbbfr

It's more a flaming-sheep, IMHO.

[Shmuel Metz]

In <142538953...@hexane.ssi.swin.edu.au>, on 03/04/2015
at 12:32 AM, TimC

<tcon...@rather.puzzling.no-spam-accepted-here.org> said:

>> the difference being that even our most innocent, non-technical
>> employees know that we're kidding.

I once explained to a student asking why the SCOPE operating system
operating system didn't take action based on information that it
didn't yet have that the crystal ball on channel 3 was broken. I guess
it was my fault for not tattooing the word "sarcasm" on his forehead,
but I was later told that the student actually believed that the 6400
had a crystal ball but that it was broken. Sometimes you need a 9
meter sign with "joke" written in shockingly bright crimson, and
sometimes even that isn't enough.

[Martijn Lievaart]

On Wed, 04 Mar 2015 00:39:40 +1100, TimC wrote:

> On 2015-02-16, Martijn Lievaart (aka Bruce)
> was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea:
>> On Mon, 16 Feb 2015 12:01:54 -0800, The Horny Goat wrote:
>>
>>> I'm pretty sure all my employees know that if the Internet REALLY was
>>> down it would be time to play Vera Lynn singing "We'll Meet Again" (as
>>> in the final two minutes of Doctor Strangelove)
>>
>> Nah, try a really big disaster and the whole world trying to watch
>> either CNN, Al Jazeira, or both.
>>
>> Which is why current $ORK has expensive leased lines instead of VPNs,
>> that's the moment when we may need the communication most.
>
> Meanwhile we're busy trying to get rid of our redundancy and resilience,
> because it's too expensive for this particular emergency organisation.

IFF that is based on a good risk analysis, there may not be anything
particularly wrong with that. Current $ORK gets better and better at
that, but I feel they are the exception rather than the rule.

M4

[Andrew]

On Tue, 03 Mar 2015 14:33:35 -0500, Shmuel (Seymour J.) Metz wrote:

> I was
> later told that the student actually believed that the 6400 had a
> crystal ball but that it was broken. Sometimes you need a 9 meter sign
> with "joke" written in shockingly bright crimson, and sometimes even
> that isn't enough.

Perhaps he thought that precognitiant crystal balls are a real thing.
It's not that farfetched. There is, after all, an entire industry fueled
by gullibility plus that particular brand of bullshit.

--
Andrew

IT is a filter. It accepts masochists on stdin and emits misanthropes on
stdout.