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hymie!
Mar 18, 2016, 2:36:47 PM3/18/16
to
Just a quick rant.
I am a volunteer webmaster for a local organization that I am not actually
a member of. Here are some requests I've received in the past two weeks.
1. I have an Excel database.
(Visions of Perl danced in my head.)
I dumped it to a PDF and emailed it to you.
2. What is your fax number for me to send you updates?
3. (Sent from his personal email address) My @organization email address
on the web site is wrong. Please correct it. (That was the extent of
the request.)
4. I viewed the web page, dumped the text into a Word document, and
changed two lines. Attached is the updated Word document.
--hymie! http://lactose.homelinux.net/~hymie hy...@lactose.homelinux.net
Peter Corlett
Mar 18, 2016, 3:54:29 PM3/18/16
to
hymie! <hy...@lactose.homelinux.net> wrote:
[...]
> 2. What is your fax number for me to send you updates?
"Do you have a pen? Its one, one, two."
> 3. (Sent from his personal email address) My @organization email address on
> the web site is wrong. Please correct it. (That was the extent of the
> request.)
"Corrected to your previously-private personal address. On a completely
unrelated note, how good is your spam filter?"
> 4. I viewed the web page, dumped the text into a Word document, and changed
> two lines. Attached is the updated Word document.
"I refer you to my previous answer to your first request."
[...]
> 1. I have an Excel database.
> (Visions of Perl danced in my head.)
> I dumped it to a PDF and emailed it to you.
*clickety-click* "What email?"
> (Visions of Perl danced in my head.)
> I dumped it to a PDF and emailed it to you.
> 2. What is your fax number for me to send you updates?
> 3. (Sent from his personal email address) My @organization email address on
> the web site is wrong. Please correct it. (That was the extent of the
> request.)
unrelated note, how good is your spam filter?"
> 4. I viewed the web page, dumped the text into a Word document, and changed
> two lines. Attached is the updated Word document.
Dan Bissonnette
Mar 18, 2016, 5:16:44 PM3/18/16
to
In article <0VXGy.172113$Ia.1...@fx08.iad>, hy...@lactose.homelinux.net
says...
I hooked an ancient US Robotics modem to a copper-line servicing a POTS
line for a backup security alarm system (required by law).
I use that number as both my "fax" and "modem" line when idiots call.
"What's that weird howling sound that sometimes comes from the 'TELE /
DATA' closet?" asks the next-door HR guys periodically.
--
"You're having an internal argument with somebody named
DragonQueen42 - you're never going to win that argument."
- David Benioff, 'Game of Thrones' Producer
says...
line for a backup security alarm system (required by law).
I use that number as both my "fax" and "modem" line when idiots call.
"What's that weird howling sound that sometimes comes from the 'TELE /
DATA' closet?" asks the next-door HR guys periodically.
--
"You're having an internal argument with somebody named
DragonQueen42 - you're never going to win that argument."
- David Benioff, 'Game of Thrones' Producer
The Horny Goat
Mar 18, 2016, 9:41:28 PM3/18/16
to
and it was a case of keeping SWMBO happy as opposed to the crew who
were such as those referred to above.
I have recently been asked to do minor maintenance to a website
belonging to a club of which I am past president but the FTP info and
password weren't as stated so I did nothing further for them beyond
replying with an e-mail to the effect that the log-in information
didn't work. If it HAD worked it would have been a 5 minute task so I
wasn't worried....until I couldn't get in (grin)
Holger Marzen
Mar 19, 2016, 4:36:17 AM3/19/16
to
* On Fri, 18 Mar 2016 18:36:44 GMT, hymie! wrote:
> I am a volunteer webmaster for a local organization that I am not
> actually a member of.
Yeah, me, too.
> I am a volunteer webmaster for a local organization that I am not
> actually a member of.
> Here are some requests I've received in the past two weeks.
shall do with this stuff but it seems to be somehow related to their
website that I am maintaining.
Peter Corlett
Mar 19, 2016, 10:24:03 AM3/19/16
to
Holger Marzen <hol...@marzen.de> wrote:
[...]
compound words. So far, my Dutch lessons have taught me the phrase "Ik ben een
meisje" which is not exactly useful, except perhaps if I'm visiting certain
bars catering to special tastes.
Anyway, that stereotypical Brit-in-Netherlands thing of gawping in baffled
incomprehension until the request is repeated in English works pretty well with
email as well. There is the bonus possibility that the whole thing will go away
of its own accord.
[...]
> I offer: Internal mail with lots of fullquotes, no explanation what I shall
> do with this stuff but it seems to be somehow related to their website that I
> am maintaining.
I'll take that and raise you the damn thing being in dense Dutch full of
> do with this stuff but it seems to be somehow related to their website that I
> am maintaining.
compound words. So far, my Dutch lessons have taught me the phrase "Ik ben een
meisje" which is not exactly useful, except perhaps if I'm visiting certain
bars catering to special tastes.
Anyway, that stereotypical Brit-in-Netherlands thing of gawping in baffled
incomprehension until the request is repeated in English works pretty well with
email as well. There is the bonus possibility that the whole thing will go away
of its own accord.
Wojciech Derechowski
Mar 20, 2016, 7:34:54 PM3/20/16
to
On Sat, 19 Mar 2016 04:57:09 +0000, Satya wrote:
> That would be the nasal demons. Hey, your anecdote ought to go into Charlie's
> next opus!
Very true but for now he is defining Space Opera and deploying monomyth in it.
--
WD
Who is Entscheidungs and what is his problem?
> On Fri, 18 Mar 2016 17:16:45 -0400, Dan Bissonnette wrote:
>> I hooked an ancient US Robotics modem to a copper-line servicing a POTS
>> line for a backup security alarm system (required by law).
>>
>> I use that number as both my "fax" and "modem" line when idiots call.
>> [...]
>> I hooked an ancient US Robotics modem to a copper-line servicing a POTS
>> line for a backup security alarm system (required by law).
>>
>> I use that number as both my "fax" and "modem" line when idiots call.
> That would be the nasal demons. Hey, your anecdote ought to go into Charlie's
> next opus!
Very true but for now he is defining Space Opera and deploying monomyth in it.
--
WD
Who is Entscheidungs and what is his problem?
Peter Corlett
Mar 20, 2016, 11:02:13 PM3/20/16
to
Roger Bell_West <roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:
Although I don't know some of the words, it fits the form of the old joke "two
pints please - my friend is paying". Garble Translate tells me it is "please
two pints - pay my friend" which is about what I've come to expect from it.
The only pints I've seen so far in the Netherlands are those that came with me
in the moving van. My rule of thumb is to avoid Dutch pubs that sell pints, and
indeed the whole of Amsterdam Centrum on Saturdays, because both are full of
Brits who can't walk without grazing their knuckles on the floor.
> On 2016-03-19, Peter Corlett wrote:
>> I'll take that and raise you the damn thing being in dense Dutch full of
>> compound words. So far, my Dutch lessons have taught me the phrase "Ik ben
>> een meisje" which is not exactly useful, except perhaps if I'm visiting
>> certain bars catering to special tastes.
> "Twee pinten te behagen - mijn vriend betaalt."
>> I'll take that and raise you the damn thing being in dense Dutch full of
>> compound words. So far, my Dutch lessons have taught me the phrase "Ik ben
>> een meisje" which is not exactly useful, except perhaps if I'm visiting
>> certain bars catering to special tastes.
Although I don't know some of the words, it fits the form of the old joke "two
pints please - my friend is paying". Garble Translate tells me it is "please
two pints - pay my friend" which is about what I've come to expect from it.
The only pints I've seen so far in the Netherlands are those that came with me
in the moving van. My rule of thumb is to avoid Dutch pubs that sell pints, and
indeed the whole of Amsterdam Centrum on Saturdays, because both are full of
Brits who can't walk without grazing their knuckles on the floor.
Richard Bos
Mar 21, 2016, 2:01:07 PM3/21/16
to
Gallian <gal...@linuxmail.org> wrote:
> ab...@mooli.org.uk (Peter Corlett) writes:
>
> > Roger Bell_West <roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:
> >> On 2016-03-19, Peter Corlett wrote:
> >>> I'll take that and raise you the damn thing being in dense Dutch full of
> >>> compound words. So far, my Dutch lessons have taught me the phrase "Ik ben
> >>> een meisje" which is not exactly useful, except perhaps if I'm visiting
> >>> certain bars catering to special tastes.
> >> "Twee pinten te behagen - mijn vriend betaalt."
> >
> > Although I don't know some of the words, it fits the form of the old joke "two
> > pints please - my friend is paying". Garble Translate tells me it is "please
> > two pints - pay my friend" which is about what I've come to expect from it.
> >
> It looks like Roger threw something into Giggle Translate that *should*
> have come out as "alstublieft", which is a contraction of "Als het U
> blieft", translated "If you please".
"Te behagen" is the infinitive of the Dutch _verb_ meaning "to please".
What Goggle Transmute probably did was not translating "Two pints,
please" but "Two pints" and "please".
Richard
> ab...@mooli.org.uk (Peter Corlett) writes:
>
> > Roger Bell_West <roger+a...@nospam.firedrake.org> wrote:
> >> On 2016-03-19, Peter Corlett wrote:
> >>> I'll take that and raise you the damn thing being in dense Dutch full of
> >>> compound words. So far, my Dutch lessons have taught me the phrase "Ik ben
> >>> een meisje" which is not exactly useful, except perhaps if I'm visiting
> >>> certain bars catering to special tastes.
> >> "Twee pinten te behagen - mijn vriend betaalt."
> >
> > Although I don't know some of the words, it fits the form of the old joke "two
> > pints please - my friend is paying". Garble Translate tells me it is "please
> > two pints - pay my friend" which is about what I've come to expect from it.
> >
> have come out as "alstublieft", which is a contraction of "Als het U
> blieft", translated "If you please".
"Te behagen" is the infinitive of the Dutch _verb_ meaning "to please".
What Goggle Transmute probably did was not translating "Two pints,
please" but "Two pints" and "please".
Richard
Peter Corlett
Mar 29, 2016, 9:01:45 AM3/29/16
to
Gallian <gal...@linuxmail.org> wrote:
[...]
> Not that I blame you for not recognising that, as the usage of "alstublieft"
> and similar politeness signifiers is exceedingly uncommon, especially among
> (sub)urban Dutch.
The *only* time I've heard "alstublieft" is from a fellow Brit who picked it up
from his language course. That's Amsterdam for you. Curiously, the course
taught that before "dat kan niet", which is of course the standard greeting
across the service industry.
There's also not enough "u" and too much "je" for my liking, the latter being a
particularly ill-advised choice of pronoun when addressing 18 stone of grumpy
BOFH who towers over most of the Dutch.
[...]
> Not that I blame you for not recognising that, as the usage of "alstublieft"
> and similar politeness signifiers is exceedingly uncommon, especially among
> (sub)urban Dutch.
The *only* time I've heard "alstublieft" is from a fellow Brit who picked it up
from his language course. That's Amsterdam for you. Curiously, the course
taught that before "dat kan niet", which is of course the standard greeting
across the service industry.
There's also not enough "u" and too much "je" for my liking, the latter being a
particularly ill-advised choice of pronoun when addressing 18 stone of grumpy
BOFH who towers over most of the Dutch.
Peter Corlett
Mar 29, 2016, 9:10:58 AM3/29/16
to
<mrob...@att.net> wrote:
[...]
> If they did $UI, you might be able to see what they changed. On the other
> hand, I used to work with 200-300 page Word documents that were required to
> have $UI enabled, and after three or four revisions, Word would just stop
> dealing with the document at all. Our CM guy had a procedure for this; IIRC
> he would keep the last version that Word could still handle, put a short note
> with it about what was going on, turn off $UI, make a fresh copy of the
> document without the cruft, turn on $UI, and send it back to us for further
> editing.
That sounds a bit arse-about-face when one could do <ui elided> instead,
although it's possible that MS Turd has been broken further since I was last
obligated to do anything notrivial with it. Or one could just use LaTeX plus
git and not have that problem in the first place.
[...]
> If they did $UI, you might be able to see what they changed. On the other
> hand, I used to work with 200-300 page Word documents that were required to
> have $UI enabled, and after three or four revisions, Word would just stop
> dealing with the document at all. Our CM guy had a procedure for this; IIRC
> he would keep the last version that Word could still handle, put a short note
> with it about what was going on, turn off $UI, make a fresh copy of the
> document without the cruft, turn on $UI, and send it back to us for further
> editing.
That sounds a bit arse-about-face when one could do <ui elided> instead,
although it's possible that MS Turd has been broken further since I was last
obligated to do anything notrivial with it. Or one could just use LaTeX plus
git and not have that problem in the first place.
Garrett Wollman
Mar 29, 2016, 11:24:49 AM3/29/16
to
In article <nddut0$o78$2...@vserver-5.cabal.org.uk>,
much as people here do. Of course, most of them wouldn't know LaTeX
if it bit them.
-GAWollman
--
Garrett A. Wollman | What intellectual phenomenon can be older, or more oft
wol...@bimajority.org| repeated, than the story of a large research program
Opinions not shared by| that impaled itself upon a false central assumption
my employers. | accepted by all practitioners? - S.J. Gould, 1993
Peter Corlett <ab...@mooli.org.uk> wrote:
>That sounds a bit arse-about-face when one could do <ui elided> instead,
>although it's possible that MS Turd has been broken further since I was last
>obligated to do anything notrivial with it. Or one could just use LaTeX plus
>git and not have that problem in the first place.
I'm given to understand that professional writers hate Word almost as
>That sounds a bit arse-about-face when one could do <ui elided> instead,
>although it's possible that MS Turd has been broken further since I was last
>obligated to do anything notrivial with it. Or one could just use LaTeX plus
>git and not have that problem in the first place.
much as people here do. Of course, most of them wouldn't know LaTeX
if it bit them.
-GAWollman
--
Garrett A. Wollman | What intellectual phenomenon can be older, or more oft
wol...@bimajority.org| repeated, than the story of a large research program
Opinions not shared by| that impaled itself upon a false central assumption
my employers. | accepted by all practitioners? - S.J. Gould, 1993
Richard Bos
Mar 31, 2016, 4:27:31 AM3/31/16
to
uninvited ones[1] calling me "je". _Excuse_ me? _You_ are trying to flog
_me_ something, I'm not the one asking you to do me a favour! You are to
treat me as a respected customer, starting with addressing me as "u", or
you'll sell nowt.
Friends and family call me "je". Cow-orkers call me "je". Shopkeepers
and market stall holders I've spoken to many times before, including
chatting about things not related to my custom, _may_ call me "je",
though not all do. People I don't know who want a favour or my money can
use the polite pronoun or fuck off.
Richard
[1] not so much cold callers[2] as advertisers and street vendors[4][5]
[2] who, surprisingly enough, seem to know better[3]
[3] if they don't speak broken English in the first place
[4] including corporate beggars
[5] return of the footnote!
Richard Bos
Mar 31, 2016, 4:40:27 AM3/31/16
to
Satya <sat...@satyaonline.cjb.net> wrote:
> On Tue, 29 Mar 2016 15:24:48 +0000 (UTC), Garrett Wollman wrote:
> > I'm given to understand that professional writers hate Word almost as
> > much as people here do. Of course, most of them wouldn't know LaTeX
> > if it bit them.
Of course, LaTeX is a _bit_ too technical for most letters-only people.
I suppose Stross may use it, and Doctorow perhaps, and Pratchett didn't
but would've been capable of learning it, but Rowling, Rushdie & al.?
Forget it.
> What do they use?
AIUI Scrivener by preference. It's aimed at them. There are others. If
they intend to work closely with a designer using InDesign they _may_
use InCopy, but I found it a bit too closely coupled to be useful as a
general word processor.
Richard
> On Tue, 29 Mar 2016 15:24:48 +0000 (UTC), Garrett Wollman wrote:
> > I'm given to understand that professional writers hate Word almost as
> > much as people here do. Of course, most of them wouldn't know LaTeX
> > if it bit them.
I suppose Stross may use it, and Doctorow perhaps, and Pratchett didn't
but would've been capable of learning it, but Rowling, Rushdie & al.?
Forget it.
> What do they use?
AIUI Scrivener by preference. It's aimed at them. There are others. If
they intend to work closely with a designer using InDesign they _may_
use InCopy, but I found it a bit too closely coupled to be useful as a
general word processor.
Richard
Lawns 'R' Us
Mar 31, 2016, 6:49:22 AM3/31/16
to
On 2016-03-31, Richard Bos <ral...@xs4all.nl> wrote:
> Of course, LaTeX is a _bit_ too technical for most letters-only people.
> I suppose Stross may use it, and Doctorow perhaps, and Pratchett didn't
> but would've been capable of learning it, but Rowling, Rushdie & al.?
> Forget it.
Pretty sure Stross doesn't use it. He almost certainly knows it - he
> Of course, LaTeX is a _bit_ too technical for most letters-only people.
> I suppose Stross may use it, and Doctorow perhaps, and Pratchett didn't
> but would've been capable of learning it, but Rowling, Rushdie & al.?
> Forget it.
does, after all, have a CS degree - but it's not the sort of tool that
would be of value in his day job. Great for technical papers,
especially those that have a mathematical bent, but outside of that?
Not really.
> Satya <sat...@satyaonline.cjb.net> wrote:
>> What do they use?
>
> AIUI Scrivener by preference. It's aimed at them. There are others. If
> they intend to work closely with a designer using InDesign they _may_
> use InCopy, but I found it a bit too closely coupled to be useful as a
> general word processor.
it's off to an exported RTF or docx file for transmission to the
publisher. The gory details? Have a read of http://bit.ly/1V9grqK
(yes, I know how evil URL shorteners are. This one goes to antipope.
Promise.)
hymie!
Mar 31, 2016, 7:14:43 AM3/31/16
to
In our last episode, the evil Dr. Lacto had captured our hero,
Day 2: "Here is the original Excel spreadsheet as you requested."
Yay. Perl script, process, generate HTML, update web page.
Day 6: "Here is a change."
Day 9: "Here is a change."
Day 10: "Here is a change."
Day 12: "Here is a change."
Day 17: "Attached is an updated spreadsheet. Make sure the changes
you previously made are applied to this one as well."
Um ... no.
--hymie! http://lactose.homelinux.net/~hymie hy...@lactose.homelinux.net
hymie! <hy...@lactose.homelinux.net>, who said:
>
> Just a quick rant.
>
> I am a volunteer webmaster for a local organization that I am not actually
> a member of. Here are some requests I've received in the past two weeks.
>
> 1. I have an Excel database.
> (Visions of Perl danced in my head.)
> I dumped it to a PDF and emailed it to you.
*sigh*
>
> Just a quick rant.
>
> I am a volunteer webmaster for a local organization that I am not actually
> a member of. Here are some requests I've received in the past two weeks.
>
> 1. I have an Excel database.
> (Visions of Perl danced in my head.)
> I dumped it to a PDF and emailed it to you.
Day 2: "Here is the original Excel spreadsheet as you requested."
Yay. Perl script, process, generate HTML, update web page.
Day 6: "Here is a change."
Day 9: "Here is a change."
Day 10: "Here is a change."
Day 12: "Here is a change."
Day 17: "Attached is an updated spreadsheet. Make sure the changes
you previously made are applied to this one as well."
Um ... no.
--hymie! http://lactose.homelinux.net/~hymie hy...@lactose.homelinux.net
Peter Corlett
Apr 6, 2016, 10:17:43 AM4/6/16
to
Richard Bos <rl...@xs4all.nl> wrote:
[...]
It is perhaps at this pint, er, point that I feel compelled to raise an issue
about the drinking vessel sizes in the Netherlands. Now I'm not one of those
Brits that demands his beer be served in pints (unless of course I paid for a
pint and was handed a short measure) but I'm somewhat larger than average (even
by Dutch standards!) and desire a correspondingly larger drink, and those
thimbles of beer don't really touch the sides.
When I checked out Brouwerij 't IJ, I quickly latched on to the beer that cuts
to the chase and just calls itself "session ale". Absolutely gorgeous, with
just the right balance of Citra hops, 3.8% ABV, just perfect. Except that it
takes ten minutes to get served and it's (allegedly) 330ml. That may be the
right serving size for the sweet tarry rocket fuel they also sell, but a more
quaffable volume would be most appreciated for the regular stuff.
[...]
> "Te behagen" is the infinitive of the Dutch _verb_ meaning "to please". What
> Goggle Transmute probably did was not translating "Two pints, please" but
> "Two pints" and "please".
Two pints please, four pints pleaserer.
> Goggle Transmute probably did was not translating "Two pints, please" but
> "Two pints" and "please".
It is perhaps at this pint, er, point that I feel compelled to raise an issue
about the drinking vessel sizes in the Netherlands. Now I'm not one of those
Brits that demands his beer be served in pints (unless of course I paid for a
pint and was handed a short measure) but I'm somewhat larger than average (even
by Dutch standards!) and desire a correspondingly larger drink, and those
thimbles of beer don't really touch the sides.
When I checked out Brouwerij 't IJ, I quickly latched on to the beer that cuts
to the chase and just calls itself "session ale". Absolutely gorgeous, with
just the right balance of Citra hops, 3.8% ABV, just perfect. Except that it
takes ten minutes to get served and it's (allegedly) 330ml. That may be the
right serving size for the sweet tarry rocket fuel they also sell, but a more
quaffable volume would be most appreciated for the regular stuff.
Kerr Mudd-John
Apr 6, 2016, 10:30:31 AM4/6/16
to
ab...@mooli.org.uk (Peter Corlett) wrote in
news:ne35q6$guu$1...@vserver-5.cabal.org.uk:
Recently I have been having some 6.2% B T'Ij at the local spoon (post
fest leftovers)
s' verra verra good.
I have posted before, back when Opera was able to allow me here.
I'm very much recovered, ta.
news:ne35q6$guu$1...@vserver-5.cabal.org.uk:
fest leftovers)
s' verra verra good.
I have posted before, back when Opera was able to allow me here.
I'm very much recovered, ta.
Juancho
Apr 10, 2016, 9:35:23 AM4/10/16
to
Satya wrote:
> On Tue, 29 Mar 2016 15:24:48 +0000 (UTC), Garrett Wollman wrote:
>
> On Tue, 29 Mar 2016 15:24:48 +0000 (UTC), Garrett Wollman wrote:
>
>>I'm given to understand that professional writers hate Word almost as
>>much as people here do. Of course, most of them wouldn't know LaTeX
>>if it bit them.
>
>
> What do they use?
>>much as people here do. Of course, most of them wouldn't know LaTeX
>>if it bit them.
>
>
>
> Giggle Ducks is a little *too* convenient.
>
WordStar on a DOS machine, of course.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_R._R._Martin#Blog
Bernard Peek
Jun 18, 2016, 10:52:45 AM6/18/16
to
asked a Netherlander to translate a few essential phrases. As far as I can
remember one translation was "Twee bier. Graag, mijn vriend betaalt."
Meaning : Two beers. Quickly, my friend is paying. We had complaints from
the bar staff that they were having problems understanding the phrase when
it was mangled by Chinese whispers in many accents.
The other phrase I asked for became "Mijn luchtkussenboot zit vol paling."
--
Bernard Peek
b...@gizmodynamics.com
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