Self-harm
Justin
side-effect of the depresion that usally comes with SAD?
crackwalker
borderline personality disorder. Have you been diagnosed?
Crackwalker
"Justin" <use...@soupisgoodfood.network> wrote in message
news:P0Kfb.6209$tv1.6...@news02.tsnz.net...
Justin
Probably because I have trouble telling my theoripist about that side.
Cheers, Justin.
"crackwalker" <crackw...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:O2Lfb.6587$Tu2.9...@news20.bellglobal.com...
Richard James
> Does anyone here cut themselves (or other self-destructive tendencies), as
> a side-effect of the depresion that usally comes with SAD?
I once wanted to put a nail through my hands. But not anymore. I think it
has to do with low self worth or something.
My low self worth is not entirely the effect of my anxiety. I believe that
my anxiety may be the effect of my low self worth.
Richard :)
Meryl
Hi Richard,
I have students who have cut. The pain of the cutting was to deaden
the emotional pain. This is a very simplistic answer but boosting
their senses of self-worth reduced their desire to self-harm.
Meryl
Anon E. Mouse
<use...@soupisgoodfood.network> wrote:
> Does anyone here cut themselves (or other self-destructive tendencies), as a
> side-effect of the depresion that usally comes with SAD?
>
>
cutting is generally thought of as a way of relieving anxiety, not
depression, AFAIK.
AEM
crackwalker
away. How bad are you?
Crackwalker
"Justin" <use...@soupisgoodfood.network> wrote in message
news:uwLfb.6223$tv1.6...@news02.tsnz.net...
Justin
help life in general.
I'm not that bad, I've only done it a few times.
"crackwalker" <crackw...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
news:9wPfb.1$Ys....@news20.bellglobal.com...
Meryl
wrote:
Of the self-harming students with whom I have worked, all have had
histories of abuse.
One cut for attention but she also had an attachment disorder and did
not know how to relate appropriately.
There can also be a copycat factor with young people.
http://www.mentalhealth.asn.au/info/did.shtml
Meryl
Peter Nolan
"Richard James" <u...@err.com> wrote in message
news:3lcolb...@server.techdrive.foo...
Hello,
I have never hurt myself directly like taking out a blade to inflict a wound
but I'm very interested in why people self harm.
I have a theory.
It is that people self harm to localise and make visible the pain that
permeates their bodies. In this way feeling the pain, the agony of a deep
cut for example or burn, is easier to bear than the invisible pain inside
the sufferers's body.
It's related I guess to a particular mind set because not everyone feeling
pain resorts to self harm.
I also think that if the pain inside to start with really is the result of
abuse by another- a parent, a bully at school or the workplace- the victime
may feel if they cause themselves enough pain then the abuser will be
satisfied that they really are in pain and then hope that the abuser will
back off believing that if they continue to self harm the abuser will be
happy and then leave them alone. In this way the person inflicting pain on
themselves can acheive some measure of control over the terrible predicament
they find themselves in.
I have a story to tell but I'll put it in the ps in case you don't want to
read anymore.
Peter Nolan.
ps When we moved house in 1969 from a mixed middle class/ working class area
to middle class area we started to live in a house that had a garage. I'm
not sure what this is called in the States but it's where the car might be
kept at night.
I wanted to fit out a little laboratory and started to put up shelving and a
workbench. I didn't have an electric drill at the time and so used a hand
brace. I used to press the butt of the hand brace/drill against my chest to
add to the force at the tip of the drill bit as I started to drill holes in
the concrete walls. I always choose the same place on my chest for the butt
of the brace. Years later I discovered that I was feeling very uncomfortable
around a certain rib in my rib cage close to where the rib is connected to
the sternum. I concluded that I should get this fixed and after years of
seeing doctors and all kinds of quacks I finally found a GP who referred me
to an orthopedic surgeon. He decided to operate and while he never fully
explained exactly what he did, he did fix the problem. I no longer suffer
from the discomfort. The operation was done in September of 1989 and I will
be eternally grateful to the GP and that mighty fine surgeon.
The point where the rib is connected to the sternum is still abnormal
because it feels very different to the rib on the other side of my sternum
but I don't care. The discomfort has been eliminated and I'm delighted.
Looking back this was probably a process of self harm in a case rooted in a
deep sense of frustration that I felt at time when I was around 17. There is
no doubt that I was trying, in vain, to focus/localise all the pain I felt
at the time but I had no idea how much worse things would actually get not
long after that time.
Peter Nolan
"Meryl" <map...@ozemail.com.au> wrote in message
news:a3fvnvguqop9homat...@4ax.com...
Hello Meryl,
I just posted a message before seeing what you wrote and our thinking about
self harm is somewhat along the same lines.
I think you are right about low self esteem coming into the whole thing in a
way where the sufferer opts to hurt themselves rather than the asshole who
may be causing the problem in the first place if there happens to be an
abuser in the frame in any given case.
Peter Nolan.
ps I wonder what the experts think?
ckee
> Does anyone here cut themselves (or other self-destructive tendencies), as a
> side-effect of the depresion that usally comes with SAD?
yeah. i started burning with a cigarette lighter and have "smileys"
all over the place on my body.. and i moved onto cutting and other
stuff. um.. i do it to relieve anxiety and such. its like ill be
sitting here at 7pm and im really really really restless and scared
for no reason.. and i just sit here or whatever for as long as i can
and try distract myself by reading message boards and things, but it
doesnt help. sometimes ill get up and walk around or punch a wall or
do something physical in a hope to get rid of that nervous energy..
its kinda a hysterical feeling.. on one hand i want to cry and crawl
into a ball, on the other hand i want to laugh, and on the other hand
i want to rip the fucking skin off my body :P
fear the 3 handed christina. um. its not a good idea. when you
eventually get better you have the scars to look at and remind you
what a fucking idiot you are. not saying you're an idiot, but i am. i
need to wear long sleeved shirts and trousers otherwise people see my
scars and and.. i dont need anything else to be uncomfortable about,
you know? better off taking up a less permenant self destructive act.
like drugs or alcohol.. if you must take one up that is :P
christina
yitwail
> cutting is generally thought of as a way of relieving anxiety, not
> depression, AFAIK.
>
> AEM
that makes sense because self-mutilation has a compulsive aspect and
compulsive behavior seems to relieve anxiety.
crackwalker
More than once is a sign. You need to be diagnosed. and you need some meds
to help you stop cutting. What is the scenario that gets you feeling like
you need to cut? If you find these warning signd, with meds so might be able
to stop. My g/f hasn't cut in a year. She is doing very well.
Crackwalker
"Justin" <use...@soupisgoodfood.network> wrote in message
news:cjQfb.6277$tv1.6...@news02.tsnz.net...
the pale one
@sympatico.ca says...
> Hi Justin, I( don't cut, I OD same thing.
Oooooh...
What do you OD on? How much do you take, and how much do you weight?
Strange questions, I know, but I just want to know which drugs you take
and how much of each drug you're taking in proportion to your body mass.
I once heard of people who purposely OD on Sominex because it makes them
hallucinate and stuff. I have been curious about this particular form
of self-harm ever since, but never actually found somebody who does it,
until now. I'm guessing that it's kind of rare. So I hope you don't
mind my asking about it... Just curious.
crackwalker
knows who may be looking for a thrill or to exit this world. But if you
would like to chat about it more openly you can email me.
Crackwalker
"the pale one" <glo...@inthe.dark> wrote in message
news:MPG.19ea8ac47...@news.alt.net...
John Jay
It's part of depression. If you go to alt.support.depression you'll
find lots of people discussing it. It's not part of SP. Someone could
have depression and SP though and do it.
John Jay
wrote:
It's the opposite.
>AEM
John Jay
That's an interesting way of looking at it, but whenever I've read
about people with severe OCD (which usually means bad compulsions)
that isn't mentioned.
There are a lot of things that make us feel good that we do
compulsively. Such as eating, sex, and passing wind. Perhaps it
depends how far you want to take the definition of compulsive.
Co
@yahoo.com says...
There are lots of reasons why some people harm themselves. It depends
on the personality and/or the trauma she or he has encountered in live.
If you can't cope with certain levels of stress and anxiety it can
cause some people to selfharm. You don't have to be depressed to cut
yourself.
I did it when I was depressed, but it happened also when I wasn't. And
when I was depressed cutting was the only way to relieve myself from
the enormous feelings of anxiety and stress I was going through.
Social phobia makes me cut also. Not only the stress in social
situations but also the anger towards myself for not succeeding makes
me cut.
Didn't do it for almost 5 weeks now.. I'm going through therapy which
helps me a great deal. Not having any meds though. :-)
--
Groet,
haico
Frigamia
Mia
Meryl
Diagnostic criteria for 313.89 Reactive Attachment Disorder of Infancy
or Early Childhood
(cautionary statement)
A. Markedly disturbed and developmentally inappropriate social
relatedness in most contexts, beginning before age 5 years, as
evidenced by either (1) or (2):
(1) persistent failure to initiate or respond in a developmentally
appropriate fashion to most social interactions, as manifest by
excessively inhibited, hypervigilant, or highly ambivalent and
contradictory responses (e.g., the child may respond to caregivers
with a mixture of approach, avoidance, and resistance to comforting,
or may exhibit frozen watchfulness)
(2) diffuse attachments as manifest by indiscriminate sociability with
marked inability to exhibit appropriate selective attachments (e.g.,
excessive familiarity with relative strangers or lack of selectivity
in choice of attachment figures)
B. The disturbance in Criterion A is not accounted for solely by
developmental delay (as in Mental Retardation) and does not meet
criteria for a Pervasive Developmental Disorder.
C. Pathogenic care as evidenced by at least one of the following:
(1) persistent disregard of the child's basic emotional needs for
comfort, stimulation, and affection
(2) persistent disregard of the child's basic physical needs
(3) repeated changes of primary caregiver that prevent formation of
stable attachments (e.g., frequent changes in foster care)
D. There is a presumption that the care in Criterion C is responsible
for the disturbed behavior in Criterion A (e.g., the disturbances in
Criterion A began following the pathogenic care in Criterion C).
Specify type:
Inhibited Type: if Criterion A1 predominates in the clinical
presentation
Disinhibited Type: if Criterion A2 predominates in the clinical
presentation
Reprinted with permission from the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual
of Mental Disorders, fourth Edition. Copyright 1994 American
Psychiatric Association
The student to whom I referred was an intercountry adoptee. She spent
her first years in a Yugoslavian orhanage. Her first few months of
life were spent with physically abusive parents.
She was adopted from the orphanage by several families but returned.
Her situation was complicated by the fact that her adoptive parents
did not tell her she was adopted until given much help 2 years ago. By
that time she was 14.
This young woman had not bonded as a child and did not know how to
relate socially in an appropriate manner.
Meryl
On Tue, 7 Oct 2003 03:33:01 -0400, "Frigamia" <fri...@hotmail.com>
wrote:
Frigamia
Thank you for explaination..
All the best,
Mia
"Meryl" <map...@ozemail.com.au> wrote in message
news:dav4ovkiunda64418...@4ax.com...
Meryl
wrote:
I think I may have been unclear. The person who is self-harming is
trying to ease their own emotional pain by physically hurting
themselves.
>
>Peter Nolan.
>
>ps I wonder what the experts think?
How would you define an expert?
Meryl
>
Meryl
wrote:
>Oh, wow, thats interesting.......... But very sad :(
Sad but she is doing pretty OK. Lots of intervention, therapy and
support have helped:)
Meryl
Meryl
Hi Christina,
Are you getting help?
Meryl
Meryl
>what a fucking idiot you are. not saying you're an idiot, but i am. i
>need to wear long sleeved shirts and trousers otherwise people see my
>scars and and.. i dont need anything else to be uncomfortable about,
>you know?
I just thought of something else Christina. One of my students has
stopped cutting, except for a brief relapse. She is using a cream on
her arms and the healing is remarkable.
Take care,
Meryl
ckee
yep. i see a therapist every fortnight. its just not something i talk
to her about. simple fact is that im fine most the time, unless im
stressed. as im a loser who stays home all the time, there is no
stress, therefore im a-ok :)
None
> Does anyone here cut themselves (or other self-destructive tendencies), as a
> side-effect of the depresion that usally comes with SAD?
No. I know a girl who did so, tho. Much like myself, she isn't a clear
social phobic though. I should probably call her one of these days,
she's a nice person to hang out with and I haven't seen her in a while.
I have given up on trying to get her to sleep with me, though.
O_Zean
Hi
I tried to hurt myself several times. I don't want to aprove these
kind of activities, because you can kill yourself. You never know what
you life will be like in 30 years, so that keeps me motivating. and
music of course.
But in a sexual way I love to be hurt (domination, sm). this is a
direct link to my social phobia. I enjoy women hating me, hurting me,
abusing of me.
I hurt myself in other ways. I do not cut myself, but if I was living
alone, I might have considered. I don't know. But I hate myself on
other ways.
- I skipp lunch sometiems to blame me and hurt myself
- I tell myself ugly yhings, like; you suck, you are ugly, you should
run away (sometimes, like once a month I hear voices.....or
soemthiing....funny sounds come out of my mouth , mostly in the form
of a whale sound or a voice of a child. But I am no psycho, I just
feel like I should express my feelings and I do that with voices. i
could have done it with tears, but no.
-I remember once slapping myself hard with a belt.
-I try to spenc money on people.....not on myself. I hate myself
having a good time.
- Sometimes I hurt myself by silencing up for a week or so. In my head
I think this is a good way to get even with people. By silencing, you
can hurt people, making them think they are boring. I do that on the
streets too. I don't look them in the eyes and I don't give them any
attention. How does that feel now? Huh? Fucking extroverts!
HAHHAHHAHAH. Sorry, grrrrr....
- never cut myself. Altough I had fantasies about beign in a shrink
institution. I alwasy loved the feeling being in a place with
nuttheads and being free, being respected. I love being sad. That is
my problem. I started to love my pain. I know this isn''t good. But
what can I do? I just need more time to sorten things out.
great post!
Frigamia
Mia
"Meryl" <map...@ozemail.com.au> wrote in message
news:a377ovgmvv2f145vf...@4ax.com...
None
> Hi Justin;
>
> More than once is a sign. You need to be diagnosed. and you need some meds
> to help you stop cutting. What is the scenario that gets you feeling like
> you need to cut? If you find these warning signd, with meds so might be able
> to stop. My g/f hasn't cut in a year. She is doing very well.
I know two people (one girl, one guy) who both were able to stop it
without any prescription medication. But big changes in both's life were
required. The girl was put on Zoloft once but suffered of a total
breakdown because of it (personally, I think the shrink responsible for
that story deserves a malpractice suit) and since refuses to take any
psychopharmaka.
None
Ask Erowid about DXM for a starting point. From personal experience I'd
recommend not to use it for recreational purpose though.
None
> I just posted a message before seeing what you wrote and our thinking about
> self harm is somewhat along the same lines.
> I think you are right about low self esteem coming into the whole thing in a
> way where the sufferer opts to hurt themselves rather than the asshole who
> may be causing the problem in the first place if there happens to be an
> abuser in the frame in any given case.
>
There doesn't need to be an abuser. There might have been at some point
but that's not a necessity at all either (else I'd like to know who was
abusing me and how).
None
> I think I may have been unclear. The person who is self-harming is
> trying to ease their own emotional pain by physically hurting
> themselves.
>
Mostly true from what "victims" have told me. There's also a suicidal
component and at times a cry for help though. It seems to occur in girls
predominantly.
None
> Of the self-harming students with whom I have worked, all have had
> histories of abuse.
> One cut for attention but she also had an attachment disorder and did
> not know how to relate appropriately.
> There can also be a copycat factor with young people.
Mhh maybe I've overread it but are you a teacher?
None
> There are a lot of things that make us feel good that we do
> compulsively. Such as eating, sex, and passing wind. Perhaps it
> depends how far you want to take the definition of compulsive.
I dunno about you, but I don't go raping every pretty girl I see...
None
Might be related to her age, younger people have higher rates of cell
regeneration so scars are going away quicker (it's also highly variable
on indiviuals, I lose scars much faster than my brother for example).
While I haven't seen her naked, the girl I know who used to cut herself
doesn't show any signs in short sleeve shirts (in fact, she's rather
gorgeous). IIRC, she quit about 1,5 years ago at age 17.
blacknblue
> "Justin" <use...@soupisgoodfood.network> wrote in message news:<P0Kfb.6209$tv1.6...@news02.tsnz.net>...
> > side-effect of the depresion that usally comes with SAD?
>
> all over the place on my body..
damn! your fucking crazy! I burnt(actually my 'friend' did) the back
of my hand with a cigarette when I was piss drunk. also on the same
arm I have a scar where I burnt the letter of the first name of a girl
I was in love with at the time(also when drunk). Its pretty damn
embarassing, but you can't really see the scars unless you really look
closely. I hope you stop hurting yourself...it will only add to your
fear and guilth. Try meditation or yoga or something....it could save
your life. I used to make myself passout every day and I think I lost
alot of brain capacity cause of it! Don't hurt yourself girl!!!!!!
Meryl
I have known males who cut but in my experience females are in the
majority.
There can be other forms of self-harm involved, eg substance abuse,
esp chroming in my georaphical area and yes, often suicidal ideation
and sometimes suicide.
I agree with the element of cry for help but not in every case.
Meryl
Meryl
I am a teacher but I not a mainstream teacher. I coordinate a program
for students with special needs. I have postgrad quals in special ed
and student welfare and many years of working collaboratively with
psyciatrists, psychologists, social workers etc addressing the needs
of students with social and emotional problems.
Meryl
Meryl
Hi Christina,
I do not think you are a loser. I think you have agoraphobia and avoid
stressful situations. The difficulty is that then you feel stressed
and miserable because you are at home all that time:(
It is a difficult cycle to break but if you start to talk to your
therapist about it you may be able to think about a plan for change.
Is your therapist a CBT therapist?
My Psychiatrist made me read some self-help books at the start of my
therapy. Do you have any?
Take care,
Meryl
Meryl
This young woman is 16. Her scars were deep and obvious but are
certainly fading. I don't know the answer but I can find out if anyone
is interested.
Meryl
Meryl
Recognising that this way of being and thinking is not helpful is a
good start.
Does your music help you?
Meryl
O_Zean
Yes it does. I love listengin to music. It can do things to me. I can
become very emotional. i can cry . I never listent o happy music.
NEVer. It doesn't grab me by my shy nuts. Music is everything to me.
It is life!
Meryl
>Meryl <map...@ozemail.com.au> wrote in message news:<m729ov0pb2lc2qcbo...@4ax.com>...
>>
>> Recognising that this way of being and thinking is not helpful is a
>> good start.
>> Does your music help you?
>> Meryl
>
>Yes it does. I love listengin to music. It can do things to me. I can
>become very emotional. i can cry . I never listent o happy music.
>NEVer. It doesn't grab me by my shy nuts. Music is everything to me.
>It is life!
I have a son who is passionate about music. He has a band but is very
interested, and has experience, in sound and mixing.
He also writes music.
I think it must be great to have such a passion.As for me, I do not
have an artisitic bone in my body but there are times when music
soothes, calms me, distracts me from my worries.
Meryl
John Jay
wrote:
>That is good to hear!! :)
>
>Mia
You have an interesting alias. Can you explain it?
John Jay
I was writing more about guys who have sex with their girfriends 6
times a week. Or girls who sleep with multiple partners during any
given week. That type of thing.
Rape has little to do with sex and more to do with violence, power,
and domination.
John Jay
wrote:
(I edited this post because I didn't want it it be seen as a
reflection on the person you were posting to)
>I do not think you are a loser.
It's easy to tell someone they're not a loser. Despite this, few will
change there minds if they already think of themselves in this
negative way. How would you describe what a loser actually is
(qualities) and why you don't think such a label is applicable to
people here (not anyone specific but the whole group)?
>Take care,
>Meryl
>
None
And you're social phobic yourself? How in hell do you manage to actually
go to your work everyday?
Meryl
<i-dont-want-to-r...@swissonline.ch> wrote:
Hi None,
I did introduce myself a way back. LOL. No I do not have social
phobia. I am diagnosed with Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia and co-morbid
major depression.
I lurked at this group a while because I have a relationship with Doug
and I wanted to lean more about SP from people who share their
experiences.
Going to work can still be a major challenge for me. I am weaning off
my present AD at the moment as I am having adverse side effects. I
will be starting a new one.
Even without SP I was lucky to be able to continue work. My PD did not
happen until 1995. I have had good treatment and worked very hard,
using CBT strategies, to keep on working. I think if I had taken a
break from work, it would have been extremely difficult for me to
return.
Meryl
Meryl
wrote:
>On Thu, 09 Oct 2003 07:56:43 +1000, Meryl <map...@ozemail.com.au>
>wrote:
>
>(I edited this post because I didn't want it it be seen as a
>reflection on the person you were posting to)
>
>>I do not think you are a loser.
>
>It's easy to tell someone they're not a loser. Despite this, few will
>change there minds if they already think of themselves in this
>negative way.
It is possible to boost self-esteem. Giving my opinion to Christina
was a response that I believed to be both true and supportive.
How would you describe what a loser actually is
>(qualities) and why you don't think such a label is applicable to
>people here (not anyone specific but the whole group)?
I do not affix negative labels to people anywhere. With a very few
exceptions, I believe people can change their faulty thinking and
distorted views.
I will not be supplying a defintion, other than that I believe that
the word loser is used to hurt people. I do not namecall.
Meryl
>
ckee
i cant stand people being nice :P but i do appreciate the effort.. and
i kindof ignore nice remarks.. well theres no kindof in it at all.
they make me want to run a mile.. and often i do. um.. this is just a
post to say that theres a reason i never thank people or stuff. i hate
compliments or niceness or support :P
christina
John Jay
wrote:
>On Fri, 10 Oct 2003 00:57:14 GMT, John Jay <jjay...@yahoo.com>
>wrote:
>
>>On Thu, 09 Oct 2003 07:56:43 +1000, Meryl <map...@ozemail.com.au>
>>wrote:
>>
>>(I edited this post because I didn't want it it be seen as a
>>reflection on the person you were posting to)
>>
>>>I do not think you are a loser.
>>
>>It's easy to tell someone they're not a loser. Despite this, few will
>>change there minds if they already think of themselves in this
>>negative way.
>
>It is possible to boost self-esteem. Giving my opinion to Christina
>was a response that I believed to be both true and supportive.
That may very well be true. I don't fault you for what you said to
Christina (the reason I edited the post so severly).
> How would you describe what a loser actually is
>>(qualities) and why you don't think such a label is applicable to
>>people here (not anyone specific but the whole group)?
>
>I do not affix negative labels to people anywhere. With a very few
>exceptions, I believe people can change their faulty thinking and
>distorted views.
>
>I will not be supplying a defintion, other than that I believe that
>the word loser is used to hurt people. I do not namecall.
There is a problem with what you are saying. You are telling people
they are not "losers". While that sounds positive and supportive, what
does it really mean if "loser" has no definition?
If I were trying to make a point that someone was not a loser, I'd
bring up positive things I know about them as evidence of what I was
saying. I might also contrast that with their negative traits (which
usually aren't as negative as the individual thinks).
If anytime someone says they're a loser, you say "no, you're not". How
can that be regarded as believable? Even my method will usually fail
because people are more likely to believe the worst about themselves
rather than the best. In the long term it does have potential though.
By saying peoples feelings are labels and namecalling I feel you are
dismissing the reasons they feel that they are losers. The word
"loser" might be used to hurt people but it is also a legitimate word
for some people to describe how they actually feel.
>Meryl
>>
Frigamia
Mia
"John Jay" <jjay...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:hovbovoi7nfdnkv2f...@4ax.com...
Meryl
Hi Christina,
OK, I get you:)
You may or may not find this link interesting.
It was discovered by a poster at a.s.a.p.m. I have subscribed (it is
free). It seems OK.
Sometimes I get on a bit of a soapbox about rational thinking/Ellis.
It is because it has helped me a lot.
FYI, I do not like being called nice. LOL. I think it is a cultural
thing. I also never expect thanks.
Meryl
Meryl
wrote:
>> How would you describe what a loser actually is
>>>(qualities) and why you don't think such a label is applicable to
>>>people here (not anyone specific but the whole group)?
>>
>>I do not affix negative labels to people anywhere. With a very few
>>exceptions, I believe people can change their faulty thinking and
>>distorted views.
>>
>>I will not be supplying a defintion, other than that I believe that
>>the word loser is used to hurt people. I do not namecall.
>
>There is a problem with what you are saying. You are telling people
>they are not "losers". While that sounds positive and supportive, what
>does it really mean if "loser" has no definition?
I did not say that the word had no defection. I said I would not be
supplying one and gave my reasons for that decision.
>
>If I were trying to make a point that someone was not a loser, I'd
>bring up positive things I know about them as evidence of what I was
>saying. I might also contrast that with their negative traits (which
>usually aren't as negative as the individual thinks).
You would, I do not.
>
>If anytime someone says they're a loser, you say "no, you're not". How
>can that be regarded as believable?
The person can choose whether or not to believe or disbelieve anything
thing I say. I do not believe there is a quick fix.
Even my method will usually fail
>because people are more likely to believe the worst about themselves
>rather than the best. In the long term it does have potential though.
>By saying peoples feelings are labels and namecalling I feel you are
>dismissing the reasons they feel that they are losers.
I said the word, and I might add many others, was used for name
calling. I did not dismiss the feeling. Such words are used either
intentionally or otherwise, by many, to elicit bad feelings in the
person targeted.
The word
>"loser" might be used to hurt people but it is also a legitimate word
>for some people to describe how they actually feel.
Yes it is. :(
Meryl
John Jay
wrote:
>what do you mean by "alias" ?
My aplogies if Frigamia is your full name. I thought "Friga" might be
in reference to the Queen of the Norse Gods (also spelled Frigg). This
diety is often refered to as the mother goddess or sky goddess.
John Jay
wrote:
>On Sat, 11 Oct 2003 16:39:49 GMT, John Jay <jjay...@yahoo.com>
>wrote:
>
>>> How would you describe what a loser actually is
>>>>(qualities) and why you don't think such a label is applicable to
>>>>people here (not anyone specific but the whole group)?
>>>
>>>I do not affix negative labels to people anywhere. With a very few
>>>exceptions, I believe people can change their faulty thinking and
>>>distorted views.
>>>
>>>I will not be supplying a defintion, other than that I believe that
>>>the word loser is used to hurt people. I do not namecall.
>>
>>There is a problem with what you are saying. You are telling people
>>they are not "losers". While that sounds positive and supportive, what
>>does it really mean if "loser" has no definition?
>
>I did not say that the word had no defection. I said I would not be
>supplying one and gave my reasons for that decision.
You read what I said to literally. I'm saying that if the word "loser"
holds no meaning (as you are only willing to define it as a
pejorative) then how can you substantiate that someone is not a
"loser"?
>>If I were trying to make a point that someone was not a loser, I'd
>>bring up positive things I know about them as evidence of what I was
>>saying. I might also contrast that with their negative traits (which
>>usually aren't as negative as the individual thinks).
>
>You would, I do not.
Why not?
>>
>>If anytime someone says they're a loser, you say "no, you're not". How
>>can that be regarded as believable?
>
>The person can choose whether or not to believe or disbelieve anything
>thing I say.
That's true, of course. I'd think though, as you wish to be
supportive, that you'd want them to believe you. If you reflexively
say one thing over and over without substantiation then how can you
expect to be believed? I'm sure people who come here saying they're
losers feel they have a substantiated case. If you don't address the
case and only say "you're not a loser" how can you expect them to
believe you?
> I do not believe there is a quick fix.
It really depends on what the problem is. Sometimes a frown can be
turned upside down by the right argument. Even times where there is no
quick fix it's helpful for the person who believes they're a "loser"
to see and know a counter argument.
>Even my method will usually fail
>>because people are more likely to believe the worst about themselves
>>rather than the best. In the long term it does have potential though.
>>By saying peoples feelings are labels and namecalling I feel you are
>>dismissing the reasons they feel that they are losers.
>
>I said the word, and I might add many others, was used for name
>calling.
As we are using the word "loser" now it is not name calling. I don't
believe a description one gives to oneself can be described as such.
> I did not dismiss the feeling.
Simply saying "you're not a loser" doesn't address it.
> Such words are used either
>intentionally or otherwise, by many, to elicit bad feelings in the
>person targeted.
Again, we are speaking of the word in the sense of it being a self
description.
> The word
>>"loser" might be used to hurt people but it is also a legitimate word
>>for some people to describe how they actually feel.
>
>Yes it is. :(
There is no reason for the frown. Without feeling badly at the bad
times in our lives we'd never know just how great we felt during the
good times.
>
>Meryl
Frigamia
usually call "alias" a nickname lol)
Well Frigamia is not my real name, it is, actually, my .. nickname, or alias
:)
It means
FRImousse
GAmine
MInouche
mishA
Put the caps together.... it makes Frigamia, and it's simply a mix of my
cats' names. lol.
thank you for your interest. :)
all the best,
Mia... and her 4 cats ... meeeeeeow ;)
"John Jay" <jjay...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:3v3hovgh6clrannhg...@4ax.com...
mad mitch
> FYI, I do not like being called nice. LOL. I think it is a cultural
> thing. I also never expect thanks.
Oh dear! I think I called you nice once! :(
As regards thanks, when you say you do not expect thanks, then surely this
is not the same as you do not appreciate thanks? I find saying thank you
is very important to me, both in thanking others and in others thanking me.
I had a friend once who NEVER, NEVER, NEVER said thank you. No matter what
I did for him, I would go out of my way sometimes to find something, or get
something for him, and he never said thank you. He would solemnly open all
his birthday presents that I had given him and never say thank you.
Although I did accept that he was the kind of guy that never said thank you,
I far prefer it when people do say thank you.
Isn't saying thank you just polite?
Michelle
Meryl
<mad....@NOSPAMntlworld.com> wrote:
>
>"Meryl" <map...@ozemail.com.au> wrote in message
>news:dhogovs3uj13e15j7...@4ax.com...
>
>> FYI, I do not like being called nice. LOL. I think it is a cultural
>> thing. I also never expect thanks.
>
>Oh dear! I think I called you nice once! :(
It's OK Michelle. I have become accustomed to it since mixing with
Yanks. I always associated the word with being something akin to the
stereotype of a 50s mother, apron, clean house, cooking, always nice.
I now realise that the connotations are different.
>
>As regards thanks, when you say you do not expect thanks, then surely this
>is not the same as you do not appreciate thanks?
I have no problem with accepting thanks. It is more an unconditional
type of thing. I may offer support or information but I do not expect
that the person should thank me. If they do, that's fine:)
I find saying thank you
>is very important to me, both in thanking others and in others thanking me.
>I had a friend once who NEVER, NEVER, NEVER said thank you. No matter what
>I did for him, I would go out of my way sometimes to find something, or get
>something for him, and he never said thank you. He would solemnly open all
>his birthday presents that I had given him and never say thank you.
>Although I did accept that he was the kind of guy that never said thank you,
>I far prefer it when people do say thank you.
>
>Isn't saying thank you just polite?
It is cosidered polite where I live:)
Meryl
Meryl
wrote:
>That's true, of course. I'd think though, as you wish to be
>supportive, that you'd want them to believe you. If you reflexively
>say one thing over and over without substantiation then how can you
>expect to be believed? I'm sure people who come here saying they're
>losers feel they have a substantiated case. If you don't address the
>case and only say "you're not a loser" how can you expect them to
>believe you?
>
I believe I say a little more than this. I work counselling 5 days a
week. I have many strategies and methods I use depending on the
situation. I have identified one here that I do not and would not use.
>>Yes it is. :(
>
>There is no reason for the frown. Without feeling badly at the bad
>times in our lives we'd never know just how great we felt during the
>good times.
I do not know the emoticon for frown (I have never needed to use it)
but where I post :( is a sad face.
Meryl
Meryl
My taste in music has changed since I developed an anxiety
disorder.Sometimes I use music to attempt to create a more relaxed
atmosphere. Other times I need happy type music (when I am depressed).
It varies.
I am glad you have your music:)
Meryl
John Jay
wrote:
>On Sat, 11 Oct 2003 23:53:38 GMT, John Jay <jjay...@yahoo.com>
>wrote:
>
>
>>That's true, of course. I'd think though, as you wish to be
>>supportive, that you'd want them to believe you. If you reflexively
>>say one thing over and over without substantiation then how can you
>>expect to be believed? I'm sure people who come here saying they're
>>losers feel they have a substantiated case. If you don't address the
>>case and only say "you're not a loser" how can you expect them to
>>believe you?
>>
>
>I believe I say a little more than this. I work counselling 5 days a
>week. I have many strategies and methods I use depending on the
>situation. I have identified one here that I do not and would not use.
What you do professionally doesn't translate into what you do here.
>
>
>>>Yes it is. :(
>>
>>There is no reason for the frown. Without feeling badly at the bad
>>times in our lives we'd never know just how great we felt during the
>>good times.
>
>I do not know the emoticon for frown (I have never needed to use it)
>but where I post :( is a sad face.
Basically, the same thing.
>Meryl
John Jay
<mad....@NOSPAMntlworld.com> wrote:
Yes, but everybody is sort of different. There are otherways to
express appreciation than 'thank you" and perhaps that's what he did.
I think it's the type of thing you learn growing up.
>Michelle
>
Meryl
wrote:
>On Sun, 12 Oct 2003 17:40:41 +1000, Meryl <map...@ozemail.com.au>
>wrote:
>
>>On Sat, 11 Oct 2003 23:53:38 GMT, John Jay <jjay...@yahoo.com>
>>wrote:
>>
>>
>>>That's true, of course. I'd think though, as you wish to be
>>>supportive, that you'd want them to believe you. If you reflexively
>>>say one thing over and over without substantiation then how can you
>>>expect to be believed? I'm sure people who come here saying they're
>>>losers feel they have a substantiated case. If you don't address the
>>>case and only say "you're not a loser" how can you expect them to
>>>believe you?
>>>
>>
>>I believe I say a little more than this. I work counselling 5 days a
>>week. I have many strategies and methods I use depending on the
>>situation. I have identified one here that I do not and would not use.
>
>What you do professionally doesn't translate into what you do here.
Why not?
>
>>
>>
>>>>Yes it is. :(
>>>
>>>There is no reason for the frown. Without feeling badly at the bad
>>>times in our lives we'd never know just how great we felt during the
>>>good times.
>>
>>I do not know the emoticon for frown (I have never needed to use it)
>>but where I post :( is a sad face.
>
>Basically, the same thing.
>
I do not frown when I feel sad. Do you?
Meryl
mad mitch
> >Oh dear! I think I called you nice once! :(
>
> It's OK Michelle. I have become accustomed to it since mixing with
> Yanks. I always associated the word with being something akin to the
> stereotype of a 50s mother, apron, clean house, cooking, always nice.
> I now realise that the connotations are different.
At school we were brought up never to use the word nice. If we did, we
would lose one mark for every occasion we used it. i.e. A would become A-,
and then A- would become B+. If you used the word several times, you could
end up with an E for a really good essay. We were FORBIDDEN to read Enid
Blyton (Noddy? Secret 7?) who frequently used the word nice. I always
remember saving up literally weeks of pocket money for a Noddy Compendium
which cost 4 shillings and 6 pence. Boy, those were the best books I ever
read! I loved Noddy! These days the original Noddy books are completely
forbidden. I don't know if you ever read Noddy, but he frequently got into
bed with Big Ears for a cuddle, I think with child abuse and molestation,
this idea of a kid getting into bed with an adult friend is probably not
good for kids these days to think is OK.
These days I use nice if I want. I mean "I think you're a really nice
person" is OK, there is not much substitute, decent? Kind? Likeable? The
word nice covers a multitude of sins.
> I have no problem with accepting thanks. It is more an unconditional
> type of thing. I may offer support or information but I do not expect
> that the person should thank me. If they do, that's fine:)
In the case of support and information I would say thanks is less expected
than when giving a present.
> It is cosidered polite where I live:)
I am sure it is considered polite everywhere isn't it? Except in some weird
foreign countries where you no doubt have to burp or something to show
appreciation. Foreign customs are something else and well worth getting to
know. There was a funny ad on TV recently about a business man who was
eating with I think some Japanese business men and he was served up some
kind of slimy eels in a sauce. He obviously loathed it, but being polite
he ate the lot. In Japan (or wherever it was) it is the custom that if you
completely finish your meal, it means you want some more, so the poor guy
was sitting there eating plate after plate of these awful slimy eels. He
was turning more and more green and ill looking......really funny. The
slogan was to use a certain credit card and they would give you advice about
doing business overseas.
Michelle
O_Zean
Hi meryl
thanks for your post. I am gald you like music too. I can't stand hardcore
music nowadays. it makes me stressed out like J. you know?
I listen to new age music often. Do you like to listen to nature sounds,
like dolphin sounds or whale sounds?
and none,
if you want to talk to her, do that@!
Meryl
<mad....@NOSPAMntlworld.com> wrote:
>
>"Meryl" <map...@ozemail.com.au> wrote in message
>news:kn0iov4fvcd46lgpn...@4ax.com...
>
>> >Oh dear! I think I called you nice once! :(
>>
>> It's OK Michelle. I have become accustomed to it since mixing with
>> Yanks. I always associated the word with being something akin to the
>> stereotype of a 50s mother, apron, clean house, cooking, always nice.
>> I now realise that the connotations are different.
>
>At school we were brought up never to use the word nice. If we did, we
>would lose one mark for every occasion we used it. i.e. A would become A-,
>and then A- would become B+. If you used the word several times, you could
>end up with an E for a really good essay.
I had forgotten about this. Nice was a word not to be used in writing
when I was at school. I wonder if that is where I developed part of my
hangup. We were taught to use a word considered more descriptive.
We were FORBIDDEN to read Enid
>Blyton (Noddy? Secret 7?) who frequently used the word nice.
I read all of Enid Blyton. I loved the Secret 7. :)
I always
>remember saving up literally weeks of pocket money for a Noddy Compendium
>which cost 4 shillings and 6 pence. Boy, those were the best books I ever
>read! I loved Noddy! These days the original Noddy books are completely
>forbidden. I don't know if you ever read Noddy, but he frequently got into
>bed with Big Ears for a cuddle, I think with child abuse and molestation,
>this idea of a kid getting into bed with an adult friend is probably not
>good for kids these days to think is OK.
I know Noddy:) I bought my childen the whole set when they were young.
I must admit they did not seem so appealing when I was reading them to
the kids at bedtime. I started to nod off myself by about book 10.
There was much controversy about Noddy here but it was more around the
fact that the stories contained a Golliwog (racist overtones).
>
>These days I use nice if I want. I mean "I think you're a really nice
>person" is OK, there is not much substitute, decent? Kind? Likeable? The
>word nice covers a multitude of sins.
>
>> I have no problem with accepting thanks. It is more an unconditional
>> type of thing. I may offer support or information but I do not expect
>> that the person should thank me. If they do, that's fine:)
>
>In the case of support and information I would say thanks is less expected
>than when giving a present.
>
>> It is cosidered polite where I live:)
>
>I am sure it is considered polite everywhere isn't it? Except in some weird
>foreign countries where you no doubt have to burp or something to show
>appreciation. Foreign customs are something else and well worth getting to
>know. There was a funny ad on TV recently about a business man who was
>eating with I think some Japanese business men and he was served up some
>kind of slimy eels in a sauce. He obviously loathed it, but being polite
>he ate the lot. In Japan (or wherever it was) it is the custom that if you
>completely finish your meal, it means you want some more, so the poor guy
>was sitting there eating plate after plate of these awful slimy eels. He
>was turning more and more green and ill looking......really funny. The
>slogan was to use a certain credit card and they would give you advice about
>doing business overseas.
I teach kids where saying Thank You is not customary. Many of my
students are new arrivals. Teaching our social customs is quite a job.
Interesting that you mention the Japanese. They are overly polite in
comparison to Brits and Aussies. I know of people who have orked in
Japan who have gone through quite an induction process to minimise
their chances of appearing offensive.
Meryl
Meryl
>N
>
>Hi meryl
>
>thanks for your post. I am gald you like music too. I can't stand hardcore
>
>music nowadays. it makes me stressed out like J. you know?
>
>I listen to new age music often. Do you like to listen to nature sounds,
>
>like dolphin sounds or whale sounds?
I have a variety of music I enjoy. Sometimes classical, often blues,
mellow music. I have one CD that includes the sound of the sea. I
listened to that more when my anxiety was higher.
I also enjoy listening to musicians from my youth. It brings back some
happy memories and I know all the words.
My kids (all grown up) have a good understanding of the type of music
I enjoy. They have introduced me to Coldplay. I love Norah Jones as
well.
Can you imagine how it was for me when I lived in a house that my
son's loud band often used as a rehearsal venue. It was the drums that
got to me. I had to wear earplugs in my own ome. LOL.
Meryl
O_Zean
Did you jam with your son? Playing guitar or piano is a grat way of
expressing your feelings. i don't want to become a singer...I am too
shy for that one. But I like listening to the music and just feeling
it. Sad music is everything for me. I can become extra shy or exra
emotional and things come up to the surface.
Sea sounds make me relaxed. Meditation bowls are a good way to relax
too. And wind chimes of cours.
I love it.
John Jay
wrote:
>Oooh alias, now I get it (sorry, english isn't my first language, and I
>usually call "alias" a nickname lol)
Your English is very good. Words like "alias" and "nickname" are
easily confused.
>Well Frigamia is not my real name, it is, actually, my .. nickname, or alias
>:)
>It means
>FRImousse
>GAmine
>MInouche
>mishA
>Put the caps together.... it makes Frigamia, and it's simply a mix of my
>cats' names. lol.
>
>thank you for your interest. :)
>all the best,
Nice to meet you. :-)
Frigamia
> On Sat, 11 Oct 2003 21:33:40 -0400, "Frigamia" <fri...@hotmail.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Oooh alias, now I get it (sorry, english isn't my first language, and I
> >usually call "alias" a nickname lol)
>
> Your English is very good. Words like "alias" and "nickname" are
> easily confused.
>
> >Well Frigamia is not my real name, it is, actually, my .. nickname, or
alias
> >:)
> >It means
> >FRImousse
> >GAmine
> >MInouche
> >mishA
> >Put the caps together.... it makes Frigamia, and it's simply a mix of my
> >cats' names. lol.
> >
> >thank you for your interest. :)
> >all the best,
>
> Nice to meet you. :-)
Nice to meet you too :)
Meryl
>Meryl <map...@ozemail.com.au> wrote in message news:<9hjjovc7dehprgnh6...@4ax.com>...
>> On 12 Oct 2003 12:22:38 -0700, O_z...@hotmail.com (O_Zean) wrote:
>>
>> >N
>> >
>> >Hi meryl
>> >
>> >thanks for your post. I am gald you like music too. I can't stand hardcore
>> >
>> >music nowadays. it makes me stressed out like J. you know?
>> >
>> >I listen to new age music often. Do you like to listen to nature sounds,
>> >
>> >like dolphin sounds or whale sounds?
>>
>> I have a variety of music I enjoy. Sometimes classical, often blues,
>> mellow music. I have one CD that includes the sound of the sea. I
>> listened to that more when my anxiety was higher.
>> I also enjoy listening to musicians from my youth. It brings back some
>> happy memories and I know all the words.
>> My kids (all grown up) have a good understanding of the type of music
>> I enjoy. They have introduced me to Coldplay. I love Norah Jones as
>> well.
>> Can you imagine how it was for me when I lived in a house that my
>> son's loud band often used as a rehearsal venue. It was the drums that
>> got to me. I had to wear earplugs in my own ome. LOL.
>> Meryl
>
>
>Did you jam with your son?
Good grief No. LOL. I do not play music.
Playing guitar or piano is a grat way of
>expressing your feelings.
Yes, I am envious of people with such talent.
i don't want to become a singer...I am too
>shy for that one. But I like listening to the music and just feeling
>it. Sad music is everything for me. I can become extra shy or exra
>emotional and things come up to the surface.
>Sea sounds make me relaxed. Meditation bowls are a good way to relax
>too. And wind chimes of cours.
I love the sound of the sea. I am not sure what you mean by meditation
bowls.
>
>I love it.
I will send you a link, by email, to my son's website if you can cope
with bad language;)
Meryl
mad mitch
> I had forgotten about this. Nice was a word not to be used in writing
> when I was at school. I wonder if that is where I developed part of my
> hangup. We were taught to use a word considered more descriptive.
Yes, same here. We had to learn heaps of "descriptive" words. For
instance instead of the word "old" we were taught, ancient, antiquated,
obsolete, antique. I think, once you are an adult, you can decide which of
the rules you want to keep. We were taught never to start a sentence with
and, but or because, but I find I quite often do that these days. Never put
a comma before the word "and"........the list was endless!!!
> I know Noddy:) I bought my childen the whole set when they were young.
> I must admit they did not seem so appealing when I was reading them to
> the kids at bedtime. I started to nod off myself by about book 10.
> There was much controversy about Noddy here but it was more around the
> fact that the stories contained a Golliwog (racist overtones).
Yes, we had a jam here called Robinsons, and they used to have little
plastic Golliwogs that we would collect as kids. That was soon stopped!
> I teach kids where saying Thank You is not customary. Many of my
> students are new arrivals. Teaching our social customs is quite a job.
I can imagine! I think there is one country where shaking hands as a
greeting is actually considered rude?
Michelle
mad mitch
"O_Zean" <O_z...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:1ff70e5f.03101...@posting.google.com...
> Did you jam with your son? Playing guitar or piano is a grat way of
> expressing your feelings. i don't want to become a singer...I am too
> shy for that one. But I like listening to the music and just feeling
> it. Sad music is everything for me. I can become extra shy or exra
> emotional and things come up to the surface.
O_Zean,
You said once that you liked Enigma. What is your opinion of their new CD?
You say you like sad music but god, that CD gets so sad towards the end that
to me it is unfathomable. It is more than sadness, more than depression,
more than hopelessness - I have never heard "sad" expressed in such a way
that I literally had to take time off work to get over it!!! I have left it
now for about three weeks, I really don't know if I can play it again. It
is almost like the music actually is on some kind of wavelength and is
causing me real pain. I have never heard anything like it before - what do
you make of it?
Michelle
Meryl
That is one CD I will not purchase. I don't think it would be good for
me.
Meryl
O_Zean
Yes, I have the cd at home. And I love Enigma's work. The sadder the
music, the better for me. It is funny how I browse through my mp3
songs and delete those who sound too happy for me. Well, I do not
delete all of them, but I feel more happier with sad music. I love
Enigma's older songs like 'sadness'. When i am really shy, I put that
song on very hard and I can feel free. It is like using drugs in a
way. It changes you into someone else....wehn i listen to enigma's
song, I pretend being an indian who cries on the top of his longs on a
high mountain shouting words like: 'LEAVE ME ALONE....YOU MEAN WORLD!.
I LOVE SHYNESSSSSS'.
Compare it with movies. You can feel some stuff for movie actors. The
same thing with music. You can feel someone understands you, you know.
Here are some other sad titles of new age songs:
medwyn goodall- medicine women
portishead- interlude
cusco (this groupo I really love)
And to the mom: I wil be happy to read the link of your son. I wil not
be offended by his words. lol
O_Zean
blacknblue
> >You said once that you liked Enigma. What is your opinion of their new CD?
> >You say you like sad music but god, that CD gets so sad towards the end that
> >to me it is unfathomable. It is more than sadness, more than depression,
> >more than hopelessness - I have never heard "sad" expressed in such a way
> >that I literally had to take time off work to get over it!!! I have left it
> >now for about three weeks, I really don't know if I can play it again. It
> >is almost like the music actually is on some kind of wavelength and is
> >causing me real pain. I have never heard anything like it before - what do
> >you make of it?
> >
> >Michelle
> >
> That is one CD I will not purchase. I don't think it would be good for
> me.
> Meryl
Me too! I normally like sad music, but this Enigma CD sounds pretty
powerful by the way Michelle describes it...it could end up putting
someone like myself in a mental institute!;)
mad mitch
> Yes, I have the cd at home. And I love Enigma's work. The sadder the
> music, the better for me. It is funny how I browse through my mp3
> songs and delete those who sound too happy for me. Well, I do not
> delete all of them, but I feel more happier with sad music. I love
> Enigma's older songs like 'sadness'. When i am really shy, I put that
> song on very hard and I can feel free. It is like using drugs in a
> way. It changes you into someone else....wehn i listen to enigma's
> song, I pretend being an indian who cries on the top of his longs on a
> high mountain shouting words like: 'LEAVE ME ALONE....YOU MEAN WORLD!.
> I LOVE SHYNESSSSSS'.
>
> Compare it with movies. You can feel some stuff for movie actors. The
> same thing with music. You can feel someone understands you, you know.
> Here are some other sad titles of new age songs:
>
> medwyn goodall- medicine women
> portishead- interlude
> cusco (this groupo I really love)
I have all the Enigmas and I like them all but this new one I will have to
listen to again at some time. I don't like giving up with Enigma.
Medwyn-Goodall I like too, but Portishead and Cusco I don't really know, I
looked them up at Amazon to hear some samples and interesting that the
recommendation for anyone who liked Portishead was Massive Attack. Now they
are a good band - do you know any of their stuff?
As far as happy music goes there are a few good ones, but when you really
need music as a consolation it is when you are sad. Sometimes I just play
the same track over and over and over and over. I cried three days solid
once with just one track over and over. It expressed how I felt and I
really needed that total sympathy for someone who sounded as though she felt
the same way as I did.
Michelle
Meryl
>
>And to the mom: I wil be happy to read the link of your son. I wil not
>be offended by his words. lol
>
>O_Zean
OK O_Zean:)
Meryl
O_Zean
I understand, mich. I play certain tracks over and over. I have this
tape with old new age songs I recorded when I was 18. It was then that
I began thinking about my shyness which I shoulld not have done if I
look back. a pitty. But I love this tape.
Now, there is a song called interlude from portishead which is really
sad and the text from the female singer is very very sad. But again,
it is like very experimental music, but this one grabbed me. download
the mp3 if you can. Massive atack I heard from, but I do not like all
oft their music. I prefer softer melodic new age music.
Cusco is very good! David arkenstone, karunesh, george winston.
Heh , download the piano version from george winston fromt he
movietheme'the snowman'That one is soo beautiful!
well, I listen to everything really. Have so many cd's with mp3;s in
here.
mmmm.
mad mitch
> I understand, mich. I play certain tracks over and over. I have this
> tape with old new age songs I recorded when I was 18. It was then that
> I began thinking about my shyness which I shoulld not have done if I
> look back. a pitty. But I love this tape.
I really love it when I find one of those tracks that really hits the spot
and I play it over and over but I am not unhappy, sometimes music can really
lift my spirits. I used to suffer terribly from depression and I remember
one morning hearing a really cheerful track on the radio - I had it in my
collection and I skived off work and played it over and over. Absurd - I
took the day off work because I was HAPPY!!! It was such a rare thing that
it warranted a sickie!!!
> Now, there is a song called interlude from portishead which is really
> sad and the text from the female singer is very very sad. But again,
> it is like very experimental music, but this one grabbed me. download
> the mp3 if you can. Massive atack I heard from, but I do not like all
> oft their music. I prefer softer melodic new age music.
Do you know Pilgrimage? Era? 2002?
> Heh , download the piano version from george winston fromt he
> movietheme'the snowman'That one is soo beautiful!
I'll have a look for it. :)
Michelle
paigi...@yahoo.com
> Does anyone here cut themselves (or other self-destructive tendencies), as a
> side-effect of the depresion that usally comes with SAD?
I felt like an undeserving person and never loved myself. On days I felt happy I would tell myself I didn't deserve it. On days I was sad, I would cut to make the sadness go away. Eventually I cut to cut. I craved pain, needed pain and became jealous of others in pain. When I saw the first Saw film in theaters, I became overly excited and wished to be the one. I went home that night and cut deeper than I had in a while.
We all injure for different reasons; To hide/release emotion, to feel something besides numbness, as punishment, as reward.
Once you get past it, once you can think about it want it and not do it, you will feel so strong. You just can't be afraid to fail.
No Spam
longer doing physical exercises? Most people are, after a few pushups or
minutes sprint, held back by the pain it causes.
clarence....@gmail.com
Le samedi 4 octobre 2003 20:58:24 UTC-4, Justin a écrit :
> Does anyone here cut themselves (or other self-destructive tendencies), as a
> side-effect of the depresion that usally comes with SAD?