OTP: Hollywood Squares
Califchief
Date: 06-27-03 11:52
From: Cindy Haglund
To: All
Subj: Hollywood Squares Classic
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Hollywood Squares (Remember tha game show?) Clasics
Q: If you're going to make a parachute jump, you should be at least how high?
A: Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.
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Q: True or false...a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A: George Gobel: Boy it sure seems that way sometimes...
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Q: You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man
or a woman?
A: Don Knots: That's what's been keeping me awake.
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Q: According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think
he's really attractive, is it okay to come out directly and ask him if he's
married?
A: Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.
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Q: Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A: Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.
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Q: In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I love
you"?
A: Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.
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Q: As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while you are talking?
A: Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing older question, Peter...and
I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget!
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Q: Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A: Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.
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Q: Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to
get any during your first year?
A: Charley Weaver: Of course not, Peter. I'm too busy growing
strawberries!
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Q: In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A: Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.
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Q: It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics. What is the other?
A: Paul Lynde: Tape measures.
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Q: Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A: Marty Allen: Only after lights out.
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Q: When you pat a dog on its head he will usually wag his tail. What
will a goose do?
A: Paul Lynde: Make him bark.
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Q: If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A: Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.
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Q: According to Ann Landers, is their anything wrong with getting into
the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A: Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army!
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Q: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body -- what is
it?
A: Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!
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Q: Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his
head, what was he trying to do?
A: George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.
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Q: Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A: Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?
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Q: When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A: Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car. The rest is up to him.
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Q: Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them
and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A: Charley Weaver: His feet.
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Q: Do female frogs croak?
A: Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.
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Q: Imagine you are a child in your mother's womb, can you detect light?
A: Paul Lynde: Only during ballet practice.
... Alex, I'll take "Things Only I Know" for $1000.
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