George Carlin Quote "Why I Root for the Oakland Raiders"
skep...@aol.com
CASTOFFS, OUTLAWS, MALCONTENTS AND FUCK UPS.
THEY HAVE LOTS OF PENALTIES, FIGHTS, AND PAYBACKS AND BECAUSE AL DAVIS
TOLD THE REST OF THE PIG NFL OWNERS TO GO GET FUCKED! SOMEDAY, THE
RAIDERS WILL BE STRONG AGAIN AND THEY WILL DIP THE BALL IN SH!T, AND
SHOVE IT DOWN THE THROATS OF THE WHOLESOME, SHITTY, HEARTLAND TEAMS
THAT PRAY TOGETHER AND DON'T DELIVER LATE HITS" -GEORGE CARLIN 1996
miss9er
Davis is as rich as the other NFL owners.
I liked George Carlin's humor but I don't undertand his point..
The Shadow
You have to understand that Al Davis still has the mentality of being in
the old AFL when the NFL looked down on that league and him as well when
he was the AFL commissioner.
That is why he will extend his middle finger at the rest of the NFL.
There was a series on Showtime a while ago about the AFL, something you
might want to take a look at.
mr dude@harvarduniversity.edu
> IN FOOTBALL, I ROOT FOR THE OAKLAND RAIDERS, BECAUSE THEY HIRE
Carlin is an unfunny stoner whose material sucked!
He was not or will ever be funny!!!
I wish he had died instead of Abe Vigoda!!!
Hey Carlin, my stuff is shit and your shit is stuff!
mr dude
skep...@aol.com
I can prove you wrong with one post.
Here is George Carlin on Religion
When it comes to bullshit, big-time, major league bullshit, you have
to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and
exaggerated claims, religion. No contest. No contest. Religion.
Religion easily has the greatest bullshit story ever told. Think about
it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible
man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of
every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he
does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has
a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and
anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke
and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!
But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs
money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise,
somehow just can't handle money! Religion takes in billions of
dollars, they pay no taxes, and they always need a little more. Now,
you talk about a good bullshit story. Holy Shit!
But I want you to know something, this is sincere, I want you to know,
when it comes to believing in God, I really tried. I really, really
tried. I tried to believe that there is a God, who created each of us
in His own image and likeness, loves us very much, and keeps a close
eye on things. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you,
the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize,
something is fucked up.
Something is wrong here. War, disease, death, destruction, hunger,
filth, poverty, torture, crime, corruption, and the Ice Capades.
Something is definitely wrong. This is not good work. If this is the
best God can do, I am not impressed. Results like these do not belong
on the résumé of a Supreme Being. This is the kind of shit you'd
expect from an office temp with a bad attitude. And just between you
and me, in any decently-run universe, this guy would've been out on
his all-powerful ass a long time ago. And by the way, I say "this
guy", because I firmly believe, looking at these results, that if
there is a God, it has to be a man.
No woman could or would ever fuck things up like this. So, if there is
a God, I think most reasonable people might agree that he's at least
incompetent, and maybe, just maybe, doesn't give a shit. Doesn't give
a shit, which I admire in a person, and which would explain a lot of
these bad results.
So rather than be just another mindless religious robot, mindlessly
and aimlessly and blindly believing that all of this is in the hands
of some spooky incompetent father figure who doesn't give a shit, I
decided to look around for something else to worship. Something I
could really count on.
And immediately, I thought of the sun. Happened like that. Overnight I
became a sun-worshipper. Well, not overnight, you can't see the sun at
night. But first thing the next morning, I became a sun-worshipper.
Several reasons. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? Unlike some
other gods I could mention, I can actually see the sun. I'm big on
that. If I can see something, I don't know, it kind of helps the
credibility along, you know? So everyday I can see the sun, as it
gives me everything I need; heat, light, food, flowers in the park,
reflections on the lake, an occasional skin cancer, but hey. At least
there are no crucifixions, and we're not setting people on fire simply
because they don't agree with us.
Sun worship is fairly simple. There's no mystery, no miracles, no
pageantry, no one asks for money, there are no songs to learn, and we
don't have a special building where we all gather once a week to
compare clothing. And the best thing about the sun, it never tells me
I'm unworthy. Doesn't tell me I'm a bad person who needs to be saved.
Hasn't said an unkind word. Treats me fine. So, I worship the sun.
But, I don't pray to the sun. Know why? I wouldn't presume on our
friendship. It's not polite.
I've often thought people treat God rather rudely, don't you? Asking
trillions and trillions of prayers every day. Asking and pleading and
begging for favors. Do this, gimme that, I need a new car, I want a
better job. And most of this praying takes place on Sunday His day
off. It's not nice. And it's no way to treat a friend.
But people do pray, and they pray for a lot of different things, you
know, your sister needs an operation on her crotch, your brother was
arrested for defecating in a mall. But most of all, you'd really like
to fuck that hot little redhead down at the convenience store. You
know, the one with the eyepatch and the clubfoot? Can you pray for
that? I think you'd have to. And I say, fine. Pray for anything you
want. Pray for anything, but what about the Divine Plan?
Remember that? The Divine Plan. Long time ago, God made a Divine Plan.
Gave it a lot of thought, decided it was a good plan, put it into
practice. And for billions and billions of years, the Divine Plan has
been doing just fine. Now, you come along, and pray for something.
Well suppose the thing you want isn't in God's Divine Plan? What do
you want Him to do? Change His plan? Just for you? Doesn't it seem a
little arrogant? It's a Divine Plan. What's the use of being God if
every run-down shmuck with a two-dollar prayerbook can come along and
fuck up Your Plan?
And here's something else, another problem you might have: Suppose
your prayers aren't answered. What do you say? "Well, it's God's
will." "Thy Will Be Done." Fine, but if it's God's will, and He's
going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in
the first place? Seems like a big waste of time to me! Couldn't you
just skip the praying part and go right to His Will? It's all very
confusing.
So to get around a lot of this, I decided to worship the sun. But, as
I said, I don't pray to the sun. You know who I pray to? Joe Pesci.
Two reasons: First of all, I think he's a good actor, okay? To me,
that counts. Second, he looks like a guy who can get things done. Joe
Pesci doesn't fuck around. In fact, Joe Pesci came through on a couple
of things that God was having trouble with.
For years I asked God to do something about my noisy neighbor with the
barking dog, Joe Pesci straightened that cocksucker out with one
visit. It's amazing what you can accomplish with a simple baseball
bat.
So I've been praying to Joe for about a year now. And I noticed
something. I noticed that all the prayers I used to offer to God, and
all the prayers I now offer to Joe Pesci, are being answered at about
the same 50% rate. Half the time I get what I want, half the time I
don't. Same as God, 50-50. Same as the four-leaf clover and the
horseshoe, the wishing well and the rabbit's foot, same as the Mojo
Man, same as the Voodoo Lady who tells you your fortune by squeezing
the goat's testicles, it's all the same: 50-50. So just pick your
superstition, sit back, make a wish, and enjoy yourself.
And for those of you who look to The Bible for moral lessons and
literary qualities, I might suggest a couple of other stories for you.
You might want to look at the Three Little Pigs, that's a good one.
Has a nice happy ending, I'm sure you'll like that. Then there's
Little Red Riding Hood, although it does have that X-rated part where
the Big Bad Wolf actually eats the grandmother. Which I didn't care
for, by the way. And finally, I've always drawn a great deal of moral
comfort from Humpty Dumpty. The part I like the best? "All the king's
horses and all the king's men couldn't put Humpty Dumpty back together
again." That's because there is no Humpty Dumpty, and there is no God.
None, not one, no God, never was.
In fact, I'm gonna put it this way. If there is a God, may he strike
this audience dead! See? Nothing happened. Nothing happened?
Everybody's okay? All right, tell you what, I'll raise the stakes a
little bit. If there is a God, may he strike me dead. See? Nothing
happened, oh, wait, I've got a little cramp in my leg. And my balls
hurt. Plus, I'm blind. I'm blind, oh, now I'm okay again, must have
been Joe Pesci, huh? God Bless Joe Pesci. Thank you all very much. Joe
Bless You!
(Copyright 1999 by George Carlin. Printed without permission.)
UCLAN
>>IN FOOTBALL, I ROOT FOR THE OAKLAND RAIDERS, BECAUSE THEY HIRE
>
> " -GEORGE CARLIN 1996
>
>
> Carlin is an unfunny stoner whose material sucked!
>
> He was not or will ever be funny!!!
>
> I wish he had died instead of Abe Vigoda!!!
The Inconvenient Truth
John Walsh
wrote:
He can extend his middle finger all he wants, but the rest of the
league and most fans of other teams will realize that he and the team
are all smoke and mirrors. That and the fact that, the finger these
stands for one of two things. His IQ or his sperm count.
Ironside
> That and the fact that, the finger these
>
The number o season ticket holders?
skep...@aol.com
All the owners in the NFL are Republicans. Davis is the only Democrat,
I think this impressed Carlin. Al Davis always fought for his
interests and not the betterment of the NFL in general. In the 1970s
the Raiders dressed like the Black Panthers while many football
players dressed like Mormons. There was an attitude. Heartland Teams
was a reference to provencial franchises which were square.
Nunya Bidnits
I second that recommendation. Excellent program for old school AFL fans or
anyone who wants to understand the roots of some of the most storied teams
in the NFL. .
The Inconvenient Truth
> On Jun 23, 12:31 pm, miss9er <kz...@live.com> wrote:
>> On Jun 23, 12:07 pm, "skepti...@aol.com" <skepti...@aol.com> wrote:
>>
>> > IN FOOTBALL, I ROOT FOR THE OAKLAND RAIDERS, BECAUSE THEY HIRE
>> > CASTOFFS, OUTLAWS, MALCONTENTS AND FUCK UPS.
>>
>> > THEY HAVE LOTS OF PENALTIES, FIGHTS, AND PAYBACKS AND BECAUSE AL DAVIS
>> > TOLD THE REST OF THE PIG NFL OWNERS TO GO GET FUCKED! SOMEDAY, THE
>> > RAIDERS WILL BE STRONG AGAIN AND THEY WILL DIP THE BALL IN SH!T, AND
>> > SHOVE IT DOWN THE THROATS OF THE WHOLESOME, SHITTY, HEARTLAND TEAMS
>> > THAT PRAY TOGETHER AND DON'T DELIVER LATE HITS" -GEORGE CARLIN 1996
>>
>> Davis is as rich as the other NFL owners.
>> I liked George Carlin's humor but I don't undertand his point..
>
> All the owners in the NFL are Republicans. Davis is the only Democrat,
Do you have a cite for this?
Cleatarrior
The Daily Kos?
http://www.opensecrets.org/news/2009/09/politicians-score-significant.html
TEAM OWNERS, EXECUTIVES MOST ACTIVE
Perhaps not surprisingly, monied team owners and their top executives
are most likely to make political contributions among people associated
with professional football.
In the Chargers' case, team owner Alex Spanos ranks as professional
football's most prolific political bankroller. He alone has contributed
more than $2 million to political candidates and committees during the
past two decades, almost all Republican. Members of his family – several
of whom occupy top front office posts in the Chargers organization –
have likewise collectively contributed hundreds of thousands of dollars
to various candidates and committees.
Houston Texans owner Robert McNair, meanwhile, has donated more than
$543,000 to political candidates and committees since 1989. Other
six-figure political contributors include San Diego Chargers President
Dean Spanos, Washington Redskins owner Daniel Snyder, New York Jets
owner Robert W. Johnson IV and former New Orleans Saints owner Tom Benson.
This list largely mirrors top political donors during the 2008 election
cycle, with Alex Spanos ($184,600), McNair ($176,664), Dean Spanos
($155,000), Snyder ($127,100) and Johnson ($87,900) ranking in the top
five among the more than 200 people associated with professional
football who made a political contribution of $200 or more.
While Pittsburgh Steelers owner Dan Rooney has individually only
contributed a fraction of these amounts to political interests, his
family has collectively donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to
political candidates and committees – primarily Democratic.
President Barack Obama earlier this year named Dan Rooney ambassador to
Ireland. Tom Rooney, Dan Rooney's son, is also a freshman Republican
congressman representing Florida's 16th District.
COACHES, ATHLETES ALSO PLAY POLITICS
While not at nearly the levels of team owners and executives, NFL
players and coaches have also made tens of thousands of dollars worth of
political contributions in recent years.
During the 2008 election cycle, Obama received a number of contributions
from players and coaches, including Atlanta Falcons tight end Tony
Gonzalez ($4,600), Chicago Bears coach Lovie Smith ($2,300), Cincinnati
Bengals safety Roy Williams ($2,300) and Indianapolis Colts defensive
end Raheem Brock ($2,300). Rich Eisen isn't a player -- he's an NFL
Network broadcaster -- but he, too, donated $1,500 to Obama.
Republicans haven't been completely sidelined, however.
Chargers coach Norv Turner gave $2,300 to GOP presidential nominee John
McCain, while Philadelphia Eagles coach Andy Reid contributed $2,300 to
Republican presidential also-ran Mitt Romney. Other Romney bankrollers
include Baltimore Ravens tight end Todd Heap ($2,300) and Buffalo Bills
defensive end Ryan Denney ($2,300).
The Indianapolis Colts' all-universe quarterback Peyton Manning in 2007
cut a $2,300 check – as did his wife, Ashley -- to Republican
presidential candidate and former Sen. Fred Thompson. Manning also
contributed $2,000 to President George W. Bush's 2004 re-election campaign.
More recently, semi-retired Tampa Bay Buccaneer Derrick Brooks
contributed $4,800 to Republican Florida Gov. Charlie Crist, who's
running for U.S. Senate in Florida. Buccaneers' quarterback Byron
Leftwich also gave $1,000 to Crist.
And if NFL players are looking to financially support one of their own,
a rookie option arose just this week: Retired Bills and Steelers tight
end Jay Riemersma announced Monday he's running for Congress in Michigan
as a Republican.
PatsSox
mr du...@harvarduniversity.edu wrote:
> Carlin is an unfunny stoner whose material sucked!
> He was not or will ever be funny!!!
> I wish he had died instead of Abe Vigoda!!!
> Hey Carlin, my stuff is shit and your shit is stuff!
> mr dude
"When you're born you get a ticket to the freak show. When you're
born in America, you get a front row seat." George Carlin